So Thursday, this is it, I will get lasered today, no ELMA cream, just a couple of paracetamol and codeine tablets and a pint of larger as aesthetic. Got to Muswell Hill about 20 odd minutes early, do not fuck up on the journey this time hence the promptness, so waited it out in the nearby O’Neils again (hence the pint). I quite like that pub, it’s in a old church so the inside is quite unusual.

Right time to go, over to the clinic, they are ready for me, sign my life away on the forms and lie back and think of England. Opaque goggles cover my eyes and some gels stuff is put on my skin. I think the technician draws the area she is going to do on my chin as well. They wanted to do it in two parts; today is going to be the lower half, neck up to my chin. Here goes, clench fist, the tech, Rowena, moves the laser head along doing a little zap every couple of seconds, its sort of like being jabbed with a hot needle, it is uncomfortable and in a couple of areas fairly painful (notably around the chin where its close to the bone) but its not unbearable, in a couple of places I barely feel it at all. I am glad when it’s over though.

Look at the machine after wards, it says 16, 16 joules, other people have twice that much and from what I’ve heard that’s not really enough for male hair. There was no smell of burning or hair ejection as far as I could tell either. Not good signs, it’s probably had little or no effect I feel a little toasted afterwards, but not really sore, I guess the endorphins kick in after something like that, I certainly felt a little floaty for an hour or two afterwards. Their card reader wouldn’t work so I dash to the bank to get cash to pay. Nice they trust me enough to leave the place without paying first. Of course I don’t do a runner, get the cash, go back, pay up and confirm the appointment for the 2nd half on Friday. Get some chips and walk home again. The cool night air felt good against my warm face.

Friday morning, working from home, not going in, didn’t want to risk it. Face is a little sorer, but not bad, can not really see any hair having fallen out, but it does seem to have grown fast, it’s longer that it usually is after 24 hours, but then again I didn’t do the full tranny grade shave before hand. Shave the top half of my face in preparation for the evening.

Work, OK ish, jobs that appeared to work the day before now seem to return “System Error” Oh how useful, break them down in to smaller and smaller sections to try and get it all working, think its nearly done. Clock off at 4:30 and head to Muswell Hill, no it shouldn’t take that long, but you never know with the bus.

Bus doesn’t take that long after all. Any stinky old men reading, please don’t just stand on the stairs making it look like the upper deck is full when in fact it is half empty. Since I’m a little early have a look around. Flats around here are cheaper than I expected, hrmmmm. Waste a little time in the branch of Slug and Lettuce, read a book and drink a pint, eat here? No there’s a bunch of very loud, drunk and rowdy men on one corner, doesn’t make for a pleasant atmosphere. They take the piss out of my hair as I leave. Doesn’t matter what gender I present as I still get stick for looking stupid. Hell today, Monday, on the way back I heard so laughing from a car and as it past a lad had a camera out, taking picutres of the freak with the long hair

Back to plot and back to the O’Neils I prefer, another pint and a plate of fish and chips for dinner (hang the diet for tonight). Comfort food and the 2nd pint have a sort of nice aesthetic effect, I feel quite relaxed wandering over to the clinic when the time comes.

Same drill this time, but Rowena said she was going to use a little more power. So possibly more pain, but hopefully it will shift some hair. I’d been warned about the upper lip, but to be honest the chin is worse. But again, its not unbearable. This time there is a faint smell or burning and after a few of the jabs there’s a sort of little sizzle, maybe some hairs got shifted this time? Machine says 18 on it when I look afterwards. Still not much.

The clinic want me to come back in 4 weeks, but I don’t think I will. I really don’t think they have the experience with male hair and are just playing very safe, the low power, the lack of visible effect and the deal with the ELMA cream says to me, too safe. 

 I’ve had recommendations for other clinics and a recommendation for a 10-12 week interval between treatments, so I’m going to wait 10 weeks and then go somewhere else. Walk home again, trying a different route for a change, towards Crouch End then Finsbury park, bit quicker? Face felt sorer this time

Over the next few days the hair did appear to regrown quickly, but negligible amounts appears to have been ejected. Perhaps I’m expecting to much to soon, sometimes it take 4-5 days for the hair to eject. What I did get is quite a few spots (Folliculitis) and in growing hairs developed, I often get this after shaving really close, but this was worse than usual. Feels like I’ve just wasted £125, putting it all down as a learning experience.

 Another side effect of the treatment is no shaving or makeup or anything on the face expect the antiseptic face wash and moisturiser and Aloe Vera gel for 48 hours. So basically no Helena time for the whole weekend

Didn’t feel to bad on Saturday, so went out in boy mode, just to pick up my repaired flash gun from the camera shop and pick up a new lens cap and tripod quick release plate. Oh that and the Ski and Snowboard show at Olympia. It seemed odd going in boy mode when Helena went a couple of years (that long!) ago, but yeah not a bad show. Busier than I remember it. They had a big air jump this time instead of a quarter pipe, but a Free Ski competition was running on Saturday, not boarding Had big camera with me and the new 70-300 lens, got lots of shots of the Free Ski and the Fashion show, but am not sure they would go down well on the Flickr Stream, might just montage a few up and post them along with the next set of T-girl pics. Still its good practice, shooting the Ski jumps and the fashion show requires a lot of speed, (yes the fashion show, they used dancers not models and they where doing flips, handstands and all sorts). New lens did OK, but for inside use an f2.8 would have been better.

Feel some of my snowboard kit need replacing, its getting a bit worn, the board bag has a broken zip, the jacket is pretty manky, the helmet has got a few too many scratches and the boots (well one of them) are well worn around the toe  so I’ve got a little shopping to do before I go away again. There where some low priced items at the show, but the really cheap stuff was often just that, cheap and I’m not going to buy boots without a proper fitting anyway, so I left the show empty handed, apart from a couple of magazines.

After the show I headed off towards Hammersmith, because, well, you know, stuff. Looked in the fancy dress shop along the way for outfit ideas, get some Vampire teeth for next weekend? After that stop in a pub for a bit of a feet up (shooting with a big heavy lens is tiring you know and I’d been on my feet for hours) get a pint and a packet of crisps and oh is that a T-girl in the corner, rather over dressed (for Saturday afternoon in Hammersmith) and heavily made up woman in what looks like a wig was drinking with an older gentleman. Don’t stare or try to get a better look though, that would be rude.

Hammersmith then, walked around the shopping centres, but shopping for Helena clothes in Ian mode really isn’t half as much fun, it’s a little embarrassing really, bought nowt. Though I think I could use some grey leggings. Did get a few “I should to be in a skirt” moments though the weekend, was missing my normal Helena day.

Pick up Dollhouse season 1 on DVD in HMV, on spec, haven’t seen any of it, but Eliza Dushku & Joss Whedon staring/writing/producing is a good sign. Really got into it on Sunday and watched about 6 episodes, I like, Faith > Buffy  Oh and Amy Acker too

Back to the plot, try TK Max, for snowboard gear, I normally have trouble with this store in Girl mode, its all to disorganised, but felt it was worth a quick look for snowboard stuff. They had a reasonable selection, mostly cheap dross, but hidden in there where some gems, Westbeach, Quicksilver and even a Tommy Halflinger, reduced by 75%. I quite like the Tommy Hilfiger jacket, practical, fitted OK and real Gortex, but white? Last jacket was white and it just got really dirty and to be honest I would feel a bit of a pratt in it, to “desinger”, its not really “Snowboard”, more “Rich Skier”. But they Westbeach stuff was good (and £100 off cause it was last seasons stock) , all 10k waterproof with all the necessary bits and pieces (inc the iPop bottle opener :)) , tried a few on but ended up with a black and yellow checked one, loud as hell but I’m fed up with skiers getting in my way, in this there have no excuse not to see me now Also West beach has the necessary amount of “Rad” and “Narley” for a snowboarder of my mad skillzz not really, but my old jacket was this brand, it was very practical and waterproof and I didn’t feel like a total pratt wearing it.

Packed Tube home, stayed in that night, drank beer and watched snowboard DVD’s wearing my new jacket.

Sunday, sort a few photo’s out, Aion (level 26 now, but its getting a bit of a grind) and the Dollhouse.

No not a very successfully weekend. But next weekend should be better as the Magic Theatre plays again:)
Hope my spots go down a bit by then…

On Monday I heard my first niece, Lucy had been born have 3 nephews already, but this is the first niece. I arranged to visit the family (eldest brother and sister in law) in hospital (this part of the family live in London so it’s not really much of a trek) give them a day or so to get over, so plan to go to the hospital on Wednesday. But they where discharged on Wednesday afternoon, they don’t get to stay long in hospital these days, so a home visit it is. Am nearly told not to go, 4 year old nephew number one is throwing a massive tantrum, poor lad, I guess he has just realised he is not the centre of the universe any more. But he calms down and Uncle Ian (They don’t know about Auntie Helena) can visit, bring flowers and chocolate for my sister in law. The baby is er a baby, they eat, shit cry and sleep so not really much to interact with, take a couple of pics instead (and I don’t really think they look very nice anyway…. Oh me bad). Nearly sit on her as well, stupid fucking clumsy oaf! Actually spend most of my time there playing Lego with nephew number one instead, he’s getting good at it, I think I needed to show it’s not the baby getting all the attention.  He does throw another bit of a tantrum as I’m leaving though. I’ll leave them to family bliss for a while. The chances of me ever having kids is ultra ultra slim to nothing, it’s probably a good thing really

So Friday, the big laser day, shave in the morning as instructed, not tranny grade, just fairly close, then on with the sun cream, like I’d been doing all week, even though it was miserable and cloudy and half my walk to/from work is in the dark now, but I vas only obeying orders.

Half the team are out and the day drags a bit, but mange to get out on time, walk to the station, train and we are back in London at 5:15, appointment is 6:30, should just have enough time, but panicking a little. Bash arm on ad hording as I run down towards the tube, but fortunately just should just have enough on the Oyster for the trip. Find right platform, tube turns up, should make it, Get of after a few stops, this is the place, walk up the escalator and er hey this isn’t the place, it looks different. OMFG I’ve got off at Archway, not Highgate, dozy cow! Tube or bus then, er tube, but don’t have enough credit on the oyster, try all the machines, all won’t read my debit card, FUCK! Queue up for the window, queue doesn’t move, only guy serving is at another window arguing with a customer, looks like they will be there all night Damm, wait a bit before wiping my card and trying the machines again., phew works, right back down to the tube.

Swig some pop and swallow the pain killers, an hour before they said, well this is a little late. Tube, Highgate, right station this time, run up escalator, find the right exit on the 2nd go and get to the bus stop. Have a minute before the bus gets there, try to put a little of the ELMA anaesthetic cream on my upper lip while waiting. This is the stuff the clinic would charge me £25 for, but people on Facebook said you can get it at boots for £3.05 no prescription required. Figured I would save a little cash and DIY. Upper lip was going numb as the bus pulled into Muswell Hill. Still have 30 minutes, phew. Go to local O’Neils to wait it out, apply a little more cream on chin and neck (used less than half the tiny little tube) in the loo, before getting a pint. Pint was for the nerves if nothing else, drink and read till its time to go.

5 minutes to go and I leave for the clinic, nervous, yes. Wait a couple of minutes, then get taken in to a consulting room with the woman who did my test patch. We go over the forms again and she asks me if I’ve taken any medication, yes I reply, paracetamol and some ELMA cream on my face. Oh she replies, we can’t treat you then. She double checked this with her manager, no they can’t treat me is I apply ELMA myself, they will only do it if THEY apply the cream exactly an hour before (and charge £25 for it). I guess this is partly down to liability and partly down to their profit margin. Dam, bugger, blast. No treatment today, that’s thrown all my plans out. Instead we go through the side effects and the details of pre and after care again, they sell me some tea tree oil based face wash (not cheap, but it seems to be nice stuff) and tell me to get some Aloe vera gel and full spectrum sun block (they where out of stock). Also book in for 2 sessions next week, one to do the upper half of my face, the other the lower half. Also they had a look at my test patch, since it had gone a little red they intend to use less power than before. Laser Fail

The thing is many of the other girls I’ve spoken to about this had no issues with self applying EMLA cream, as its an over the counter medication, in fact one girl went to another branch of the same chain I’m at and got a recommendation to do this by the laser technician.. That and the fact they insist of 4 week separations between treatments, whereas the message I’m getting from successfully treated  people is a 12 week gap, plus the low power setting they are using mean I’m thinking about ditching this clinic after this first treatment.

So that’s the 4th time I’ve been to one of these clinics without treatment. Get some chips from the chippy next door and walk home a dejected, it’s a long walk home from Muswell hill, but I felt I needed it. Stop at Tesco’s on the way and get food and wine. Sink the bottle when I get home. What felt worse was the fact I wasn’t going to get any Helena time this weekend or next weekend. You see this weekend I was expecting to stay at home, recovering, so I agreed with the boss to take on a little extra weekend work that meant I had to be by the phone and ready to do stuff 9-5 Saturday and Sunday. No laser now meant I could go out, but this on call stuff is putting a stop to that. And of course next weekend I’m now going to be recovering. I don’t like going that long without Helena time.

Saturday have a rare lie in then play a little Aion till work started calling me at 11, some of the stuff I can do, the others bits have to be batted off to a colleague  (its all about a system I had no hand in developing and barely know). But as this went on, a plan formed. They can have me till 5, after that, well I could go out as Helena, if I got ready before hand? I did have some shopping to do, the Aloe gel, the sunblock and I’d wanted a new black tee since I split my last one (I still maintain that was a manufacturing fault)  and I’d spotted some boots in New Look I like. So where to go that will be open late and has all the shops I need, think think, Westfield perhaps? Check, yup its open till 9. We have a plan.

Start to get ready at around 2, bathe/shave, made harder cause I shaved the day before, there’s a nasty lump on my chin too, dress, woolly pully, denim mini and leggings, mid calf tan boots and leg warmers (bit floppy on the calf these boots) and a soft hat and big black coat, sort of an anonymous cold autumn day look. Just go with minimal makeup.

I’m ready by 4 but have to wait it out, work hadn’t called all afternoon, but it would just be just like them to call at the last minute, decide to wait till 4:45, cause there’s a 15 minute walk to tube, if they called be before I got to the station I could turn back, but if I got to the train, I would be off the clock.

So shopping for the late afternoon and early evening, what to do later, well I could eat out and there was a couple of things on that evening. Big dressy uppy bulesequey decadent ball thing “Holdup Heroines” was out, well it was anyway, tickets in advance, I figured I thought I would be recovering from laser so didn’t get one, plus it would be hard to get to (and harder to get home) and nobody I really knew was going anyway. Music in Islington? the Electro night Bedsitland had moved to the Lexington, on of my favourite bars and had they had a band on tonight. But then I see on Roses Elephant Shelf where playing at the Kings Head in Islington, back again after a bit of a fall out with the management and Laura H, Philippa and Penny where going along too, friendly faces in a cosy local pub with some live music, yeah done it before, but its always good night, lets do that.

4:45, no calls, right I’m off. Victoria line is down today, engineering work as usual, so I head to Arsenal to get the Piccadilly. As I walk towards it I notice an increasing number of people in red and white scarves, Oh Fuck, don’t say Arsenal are playing today, thought they where playing Sunday. Hear the crowd at the stadium and see more and more scarves, bugger they must be and if they started at 3 this would be finishing time. As I get close to the tube station its worse than I feared, a whole sea of Arsenal fans filling Gillespie Road complete with a riot police escort.  OMFG, right into the belly of the beast, I fear football fans, I always get stick from them, in fact most of the worst abuse I’ve ever had has been from a football fan, its seems to bring out the whole tribal caveman thing out in men, esp if they spot a “fit bird” only to realise when they get a closer look it wasn’t actually a bird after all

What makes it worse is there’s barriers down the side of the pavement, you can’t across the road get into the tube station, I have to join the human (almost human) wave until I can get around. Go home or brave it? Brave it, head down don’t attract attention, mini skirt doesn’t help, but hopefully the big coat, leggings and hat will limit the attention. Stay near the edge, so far so good, they all seem to be discussing the kick about, not looking at the tall woman, about 200m down the barrier opens and I can get across to get back to the tube, but its narrower here and there are plenty of people, try to keep calm, head down still, 200m back, and phew, inside the station. Bleep Oyster quickly and follow the flow down to the platform. Phew, not as busy as I’d expected, rush hour is worse, almost empty train pulls in, get a seat quickly, but an enormous man sits next to me, legs as far apart as he can Squirm away from him and get my book out, under a hat buried in a book, don’t notice me don’t notice me don’t notice me.

Tube has emptied a bit by the time it gets to Holborn, start to get some confidence back, leave the train and lift my head for the first time in 20 minutes, made it safely. Note to self, always check match times before you go out.

Change to the central line and get to Shepherds Bush OK. Right lets go shopping, but first have a closer look at the restaurants outside, you know, none grabbed my fancy. Inside and off to New Look, a few clothes are maybes, but it’s the shoes and boots section I want. Takes a little look around to find the wide fit section, but it is there, but it’s a jumble sale, lots of boots scattered on the floor, and not a lot on the racks. Especially not a lot in size 9. Try one pair of boots on, brown, knee length, fit OK ish, but I’m not sold on the design, spot another pair I prefer, but no sizes 9s Shopping fail.

Remove hat and undo coat, its getting warm in here. Few more shops, inc that place I got the black tee in, nope no luck, a simple black crew neck is hard to find? Only place that has the right thing is Gap, well they would, but even they only have one on the rack, and its size small and I’m not Shopping fail.

Boots, well lets find that Aloe and sunblock. Can’t for the life of me find either do get some protect and serve intense cream (or what ever its called) as I’d run out, but end up having to ask for Aloe, turns out its not on the shelves, but they do have it at the medicine counter. Still can find sunblock Shopping partial fail.

Wander around looking for a branch of Superdrug, they must have one, takes a lap of the place to find it. Ah there’s the sun protection bit. I’d checked the bottle of stuff I’d been using, it protected me from UVA and UVB, and as far as I can tell it was as good as or better than anything on the shelf in Superdrug (I checked every brand). No broad or full spectrum like, no UVC, like what was recomended Shopping fail.

Come on Boots must have this stuff, it’s a huge store I must of missed it. Try again, search both floors, finding it in the end, it’s next to the men’s section (which is a tiny fraction of the size of the woman’s section) with the razor blades, the last place I would go (in this mode). But no they don’t have anything better either. Little research after shown UVC protection is unnecessary, it doesn’t get through the Ozone layer (and we still have one of those in UK don’t we) and pretty much all sun cream these days does UVA and UVB, its like an EEC directive. 

But do pick up something else in Boots, Pretty Polly Mock Holdup tights, on a whim. Tried them on later, they are black 40 denier up to the thigh, then flesh tone up to black brief. I think I like them, there’s just something naughty about them, not sure why, I mean they reveal less than regular holdups. I’m not sure I would wear them with a mini in public, more a TG venue wear sort of thing. Saying that when I was walking home on Friday, I caught sight of a pretty blonde GG in a tiny tight mini with stocking tops showing under it (off on the pull on Friday night?) Anyway so its not just trannies that where this sort of stuff. Back to the mock holdups, they would be better of they where a bit thinner, 20 denier perhaps and had a darker band around the top of the black bit Shopping partial success.

Note to self, get a Boots card, you spend a fortune in that shop.

Shopping done, no, lets just look in MAC then, just the check face really, but that’s a nice lippy. No stop it, you have one almost exactly the same colour already. Face is OK, but leggings and skirt have shifted, need to pull them up, out of the way, there’s the loos, oh er its not not the loos, it’s the lifts, erm , OK hide around a corner and pull the garments back into place. Think I got away with it.

Ok that really is enough shopping, times getting on, got the bits I really needed, boots and tee shirts will have to wait till another day. I was hungry by now, fancied chips, well there was that Gourmet Burger place, I could get chips and a veggie burger there? No, it was packed, and there was a queue. Pizza? No, want chips, decide to look a little further afield, Leave the centre and have a quick look around Shepherds bush for a nice bar doing food, but couldn’t find one I liked the look of.  Hungry and thirsty now, pick up cherry coke at a little shop near the station, arrgg, its not diet, too much sugar, only finish half of it before getting back on the tube.

Get on the train and get a seat, but 3 young and very loud GG’s get on the same car, teen’s I guess, singing and laughing and messing about. Yikes, bound to clock me, head down in the book again. But no, they just lark about amongst themselves, escape their attention (ok there might have been a whisper) and they get off at Oxford Circus.

Right I have an hour and a half before the band is on but still need to eat, still also need to get to Islington and I hear the Northern line will be difficult too Bus it is then, get off at Tottenham court road. As I walk towards the bus stop there’s a branch of All Bar One, nah it will be packed and they won’t be doing food at this time will they. But they are doing food, and it’s half empty and there’s a falafel burger with chips on the menu, this is what we want

Glass of wine, book, nice burger, friendly staff, no problems, nice meal. Dinner success

Check face and hair in the loo, still hanging in there.  Get seat on bus (aren’t we doing well on the transport today) and get to Islington with 10 minutes to spare.

The band have only just started setting up when I get there, 9, er no we meant 9:30-9:45, oh well, get another glass of wine, grab a seat and wait it out with the book while the band plug stuff in.

Laura turns up after a bit though so there’s someone to talk to. Get a round in, wine 3 and these are big glasses. Chat about this and that, fraid I can’t make Sink the Pink next week Laura, due to the rescheduled laser, let us know how it goes.

Band comes one, yeah I’ve heard them a dozen times before, but its always slightly different and it’s a good night. Bit of dancing sort of occurred towards the end Oh and pictures, well I just happened to have big cam with me with the 50mm f1.8. Tried to keep it all available light to try and capture the atmosphere, but even big cam struggled in the dim pub light.

Is Vivky going all Slash with that top hat?

Lost then lens cap. Think it was down to the wine, Philippa and Penny arrived later and we move over to talk to them in the 2nd set and there was this 4th glass of wine and I think I must have been a bit plastered after that. That’s probably why I lost the lens cap.

After the band finished Laura, Philippa and Penny moved on to the Wayout club, the Frantastics where playing and they where going to see them. Lovely to see you all again girls. I really couldn’t manage the Wayout, I was under (or was that over) dressed, over tired and over tiddly, so just walked back home, stopping at a chicken shop for chips, chips again! put chilli sauce on them instead of Ketchup, didn’t seem to matter. Must of got home OK, it seems I even updated my facebook status when I got in, but really don’t remember much by then. Pub Success

Odd sort of day really, wasn’t going out, then was, managed not to get read by people I fear and ended up managed a little shopping and ended up managing to have a happy night with wine, women and song in a cosy friendly pub. So it turned out OK and I should be able to cope with no Helena next week after that

Work calls me at 9:30am on Sunday and I have a hangover go back to bed after sorting them out, feel rotten all morning but eventually recover by lunchtime, do laundry, try to sort out work problems, play Aion, process pictures, bed.

So next week, will the laser actually happen? Will it work?  Will I recover in time for the Magic Theatre on Halloween?
 

Saturday, drag (well I can’t trans my self out can I  my self out of bed by 9ish (after the scary alarm woke me earlier) shower, ahhhh, shave, ouch, cake, nice, coffee, required. Seem to still have everything I brought with me, even my wallet, but the expected hangover is curiously absent. Oh well minimal makeup and dress, had some options, some boots, some jeans etc, but in the end went with the old faithful denim mini, cropped leggings and flats. Had to be flats, even they felt high, walking around barefoot felt better

By the time I’m all packed its gone 11:30, damm I wanted to be on the 11:33 train, the next one from Fenny Stratford is 12:33. Usual last search around the room for stuff I might of left and the its bye bye Camp room, on to checkout. Had already paid so it’s a formality and I can leave my case here till its time to go and get the train. Walk into the restaurant, and er urmm, its full of men, who’d of though that, it was all girls last night, where’d they go ;)  I’m a little uncomfortable around all this drab, didn’t spot any one I recognised (apparently someone was waving to me, but I missed them) and there wasn’t anything on the menu I fancied for lunch so decided to go for a wander instead. Crossing the ditch is easy in flats.

Walk towards town, taking a left at the junction, remember there where shops down there. Doesn’t take long to find a garage, Its not like a I need petrol, but they have a cash machine and an M&S food store, just what I needed. Lunch is a cheese sandwich and packet of crisps, not exactly haute cuisine, but it’s what I fancied.  Still a few minute to kill when I get back to the hotel, sit in the corner with my book. There’s still a few high jinx going on around the hotel, people in rather unusual clothes for Saturday lunch time and the like.

Time to go, lug case up the hill to the station, train arrived on time, remember to get the lift this time at Bletchley and 10 minutes later I’m on the fast train to London. Kick off my shoes and read my book, journey flies by. Sun is shinning.

Euston, no tube running today so it’s the bus. Well that’s less stairs and walking I suppose. Have to change at Angel, mad dash with case to catch my bus, which is packed, not what you need with a big case. Have to move around a bit to make room, old gent calls me darling and a mother asks her children to let the lady past.

But we get there in the end, about quarter to two, flop into my armchair and check mail. Plans for the rest of the day, well not a lot really, there was the Festival of Sins in the evening and between then and now I ought to take some photo’s of the Star Trek outfit. But first the essentials, pop to the local shop for a bottle of rose and some tomato soup for dinner. After all the Thai food on Saturday all I fancied was simple faire.

Little more makeup, little more up top, barely black tights to cover the legs, old black boots and on with the Trek Costume. Phew it’s short, have to be careful how I pose. Have to hunt around for the quick release plate for the tripod, but sort of bend a bit of it putting it on the cam, its not well made IMHO. I’m going to need to get a replacement, but it will do for now. What I really need is a solid heavy tripod with a very secure locking quick release plate that has an anti slip, so when the cam is in the portrait position and has a heavy lens on it, it doesn’t droop, Any recommendations?

Takes a while to get the lights to work, really I wanted  bit more it a bit more exotic, and sort of have a spot to create an orange “sun” on the background, but I would of needed a snoot for that. More camera shopping required. Get useable light, face looks OK, but it’s unflattering on my neck, damm, have to fix that a little bit afterwards. Dress is also a bit straight, there’s no nip at the waist, find this looks unflattering on a naturally straight up and down T-girl, so I use clothes pegs to pull it in a bit at the back (hidden out of shot). Fashion shoots often have pegs, clips and tapes holding the clothes in behind the scenes.

Pose away, its fun really, pointing my phaser at stuff and scanning with my tricorder, they light up and make noises and stuff Stay in the outfit to sort out the pictures, just well because I can this shoot, the 3 yesterday, the one this morning, the restaurant and PP = an awful lot of picture to sort out, yikes. And then I had another outfit and the FOS to go. Actually I wasn’t sure I was going to make that, it had been a long weekend and it was only Saturday afternoon, travelling, late nights, booze, to much time in heels etc  Louise and Saffy had indicated they wanted to come to the Festival as well, think I was going to have to let them down.

But a little rest, some soup and a glass of Rose and I’m feeling a little more alive, yeah I can go. But Lou and Saffy aren’t now, they let me know by Facebook, they are having a girls night in instead, to tired to go out. Oh well, another solo outing to the FoS

One with the big black outfit, don’t feel like really doing up the corset tight. Shirts a bit tight for even small boobs and the skirt really could do with being shorter at the front, can’t be helped, have to go with it. Reboot face, lighter skin tone, with heavy black eyes and MAC Darkside lippy, well it had to be Its all gone a bit Gothic…

Pics go OK, use blue gels on the lights on the back ground as it seemed to suit. Plenty of time still, collect my stuff, its going to be little camera tonight at FoS, can’t bring the D700 (OK I snuck it in once, me bad), one day I’ve have to try and beg them for a photo pass. Hat, gloves and ring go in a carrier bag and the big leather coat covers up most of the dress, though I still must look quite Goth. Want to get there for the first act, so it’s out the house around 8:15

No tube as I said, so Bus to Angel and Northern line to Camden. As I stand on that long escalator in Angel (longest in Western Europe I’ve read) a girl walking down the left stops and stares at me for a couple of seconds in a WTF is that sort of way. Slightly odd encounter, but she was young and quite cute, so I’ll let her off. One of these days I will have to get up the nerve to blow a kiss at people staring or something like that.

Northern line, busy, no seats, and I’m in 4″ stiletto thigh boots. I new I wasn’t going to last long in these, had the flats in the my bag to change into later. Does the Bank branch of the Northern line stop at Mornington Crescent? Think think, look at map, and no I don’t think it does, damm. Have to change to the other branch of the Northern line at Euston, bit of a trek in these boots (oh that again).

Off at Mornington Crescent, spot girl on the platform in nicetight black leather over the knee knee boots with quite a high stiletto heel, is she going to FoS?. She was, spotted there later in the Purple Turtle. And spotter her later than that in stocking feet. So it’s not just me who over does the heels

At the Purple turtle I’m in time to get a dip into the goodie bag, don’t look they say. I look away and rummage, come out with a little bottle of bubble bath In we go, Change into my full regalia, hat and all and go to put my coat in the cloak room. I’m to early, its not open yet. There are advantages and disadvantages of coming early. Get a drink, noodle around, check makeup and it opens up eventually.

There are people with big camera’s and photo passes, a couple have set up a photo booth in the upstairs bit, one of the those togs asked me if I wanted to get my picture taken almost as soon as I arrived, I said maybe, but he finds me again after, er OK then, (yeah I put up so much of a fight). Turns out he’s using a D700 and speed lights like me, though he seems to know how to use them properly. His soft boxes are good too, they even mange to fill in my wrinkles. Haven’t seen the full sized photo’s yet, they might go on the FoS website. He asked if I was interested in doing some modelling, but I don’t think he was serious. If those doesn’t come through a couple of the wandering togs also got me, so the odd’s a photo of me on the night will come through.

Entertainment starts a bit after nine. First band is Young Paul, not Paul Young (though they do a Paul Young cover as a encore). A girl, a guy, a Macbook (popular combo that), quite liked that, not going to be rushing out to get the album though. They do have a bit of stage presence going for them though. Shots, well its dark and I don’t want to flash them and loose all the atmosphere, so its blurry slow sync  2nd curtain shots for most of the time tonight, doesn’t make for technically good photo’s, they come out a bit surreal in fact, but they sort of get the atmosphere.

Oh these boots hurt now. Much earlier than they usually do think its cause there too little friction and I’m sliding forward. I have heel gel pads with me (should of put them in before), unlace the boots and put them in, helps a bit. As I’m doing this the night’s compare, Mr J does a round of the club saying hello to everyone, he even stops and has a chat with me (as I’m sorting my boots out), Mr J is a sort of Drag Queen/Tranny, though I’m not sure he/she’s (I really don’t know which pronoun to use) the sort that would be on Roses or Angels, he/she’s really gone for the Sloth theme, unshaven, but made up, wig in curlers and a dressing gown and a nightie

Try to circulate a bit, but am a bit useless, do get some stares and people sometime nudge their mates and point me out, but hey, I’m hardly dressed to blend in, showing off/shocking people a bit is what a night like this is for Do mange a little chat, there’s a young GG in a sort of Gothic Lolita Maid outfit (more traditional Victorian long skirt and sleeves style, not a tarty short one), we chat a bit, its her first time her and she’s there with her male friend (not sure if he was the boyfriend) We discuss our slightly similar clothes a bit and I mention Sai Sai, one of the Gothic Lolita place in Camden, she knows it and loves it too, but then I make a bit of a faux pas, mentioning the problem with there very small sizes. Opps, you see she wasn’t exactly small herself.

Also see Diana, the Argentinean singer from Shh too, saw her at the first FoS I went too. She remembered me to

The 2nd musical act was a young man called James Leon he was just singing to a backing track though, sort of electro 80’s style. He tried hard, but I don’t think he moved the crowd (or me) much.

The crowd was building though, think most where here to see the final band of the night, the 4th Criminal, but the very animated DJ Guy Thompson was getting everyone moving in between acts, he’s rocking the joint Metallica, Depeche Mode, the Prodigy, New Order, Guns and Roses, Billy Idol on speakers taller than me all got people leaping around, even me Though not much, feet, ouch, sat on the edge if the stage for a while between the performances. Trouble with a small venue like the Purple Turtle and the amount they cram into the Festival of Sins means there’s ain’t much room left for seats. The seats by the bar are very popular, to poular it makes it hard to get through to get a drink. Oh, can the bar staff at the Purple Turtle Lip read? Even when the music is really loud and I’m using quieter girl voice they never get my drink wrong.

First Burlesque of the night is Miss Fancy Chance (Alternative Miss Wolrd 2009 no less) who does rather very slothful sort of drunk disrobing and falling asleep routine, its great, funny and quite different from the norm, I liked it a lot.

Nope had enough of the boots, of they go, on with the flats, was prepared for it, boots go in carrier bag and that goes in the cloak room. I’d had my pics taken by then anyway. Much more comfortable now. Chat a little to May LR as I change.

Next Burlesque act is “Super Massive Black Hole” (think its Crimson Skye under all that black) with a definite a fetish theme. Her outfits lyrca not rubber though, with separate sleeves and legs, well you aren’t going to be able to slowly strip off pieces of a latex cat suit on stage are you? Good performance and again a little different to the Burlesque norm.

The 4th Criminal had turned up earlier and had been mixing it up with the crowd and the dance floor, but now it was there turn for the stage. They are apparently well know on the alternative circuit (but I’m not on it so hadn’t heard of them) so that explains the good turn out, and tonight was going to be there final ever performance. Started off mad and got madder, few of the younger prettier FoS regulars (Missy Star and Friends) went up on stage with them to act as backing dancers and just joining in the madness.

Extremely blurry messy pictures, but it was extremely blurry messy performance The bass player was especially manic said manic bass player attacked  his guitar with an electric jigsaw half way though, and in the final number, smashed it into pieces, plus there was silly string and tee shirts being handed out and generally much leaping around and stuff. Musically, er well OK, but it’s was the visuals and the antics that made the performance.

And then there was the Twister…

Halfway through one of the numbers they down a twister mat in the middle of the dance floor and encouraged people to play, people (inc) me where a little reluctant at first, until a couple of the dancers (inc Miss Missy again) came down and showed people how it was done then they (but not me) joined in. Possibly a unique event, definitely a very silly one

Worth going just for that IMHO

Last show of the night was one of the regular fashion shows, this time from Sample Remix . Bit hrmm about this one, not one of the better ones IMHO, again another sort of performance/theatre piece not a catwalk show, but I think they take the Sloth theme a bit to literally and not a lot goes on, all feels a tad pretentious. The clothes weren’t really to my taste either.

The music and drinking carries on into the early hours, but not with me, after the shows finished it was time for me to go, well it had been a very busy weekend Retrieve the coat and gloves, coat on pack the hat and gloves in the bag and off into the night, still looking very gothic, but hey, this is Camden on a Saturday night. Chips first, then the cab office. 

I’d been totally paranoid about my wallet all night, even had left my cash card at home just in case and had £30 reserved for the cab faire, again, just in case. Paid off, no lost wallet tonight. Only takes a couple of minutes to get a car and the driver takes me home. 4 miles he says, it is? Not sure about that, he takes the main roads, but I think the side streets offer a shorter route. Stop him at my street and ask how much, what you usually pay he answers, think he has me confused with someone else, I say I don’t know how much it usually is and he says £16. Think that’s a lot.

Home, clean up, bed, end of the big weekend. Yeah I know there is Sunday, but all I did was get Sunday lunch, play a little Aion, sort a few pics out and drink a little too much.

After all that excitement (for me anyway) how to top that next week? Well I visited my new niece Lucy and then have my face lasered off on Friday night Think next weekend will just be me sitting in a darkened room whimpering.
 

Busy weekend this one so this is going a post of two slightly differently flavoured parts.  But first the mid week bit…

Wednesday and it my appointment with the Sea Bass. Tube/Bus/Walk up to Muswell hill in the pouring rain, head off the wrong way, before realising I wasn’t exactly sure where the place was. Turn around and head back to the centre, ah there’s that church, I saw that on Google Street view, its near to that isn’t it. And it was, Renew Medica Muswell Hill and I was half an hour early for my laser test patch. Decide to wait it out in the nearest pub, with a pint, for my nerves.

Appointment time, we go through the forms again and I sign away my life. They have a look at my skin and hair and decide I’m probably a skin type II with dense/course hair, after that we go through treatment room. There’s the Lightsheer machine, big isn’t it. The nice young er what’s the word for someone who zaps you with laser beams? puts a completely black pair of goggles on me, shaves a little patch on the side of my neck and hits me with the juice. I had no idea what to expect, not really good with pain and am more than a bit of wimp, so it was fists and teeth clenched before the first hit. Which stung a bit, oh is that it, sort of like being poked with a warm stick, 2nd was even less and I barely felt the third. That’s it. I guess the neck will be less sensitive than the upper lip etc though. I asked about the power settings she used, she explains it was 14, 16 and then 12 joules at something like 100 pulses per second. I might of got that wrong, but it sounds low, I’ve heard other people having twice as much juice as that for beard removal, this is probably why it didn’t hurt much.

The result, well a couple of the areas tested came up in a spots, I assume this is where the hair was. The spots went down after a couple of days, there’s no hair there now but it’s slightly red. To be honest I’m a little unsure how it will go for a full session, will I look like a bright red balloon for a few days? I haven’t signed up for a course, but I think I will have to go for a single session, just to see what happens, on a Friday probably so I at least I have the weekend to recover. But that weekend will have to be in Ian mode, no shaving or makeup for 48 hours after is the advice. Go home in the rain, walk to the bus stop with a bag of chips as a treat.

Dash home from work on Thursday, have outfits to work out and packing to be done.

Friday morning, no work today (day off) and Helena can play. Usual routine, bathe shave etc and put on the daytime outfit, skirt is a little short, but its black denim, not tight and the tights are opaque, so it should be OK. The boots, my favourite brown boots, the ones that hurt after a couple of hours, really complemented the outfit, so I’m wearing them. Regretted this later. Finish packing, fill the case as usual, there’s about 3 and a half outfits, plus spares, plus camera gear, plus wash kit and cosmetics fill up the whole thing. It’s a big case too. And now it’s a heavy case. As usual I’m sure I’ve forgotten something, but the only thing I can think is face wipes to remove makeup, I’ve run out, but should be able to get some more.

Ready a little early, noodle a bit and splash a little gold varnish on the nails. Should of put on a 2nd coat. Trouble with waiting to go out, have time for the nerves to get me. So was more than a little apprehensive than usual going out, that and the reputation of my final destination for the evening didn’t help.  But I’m all ready and packed, hotel is booked, so I have to don’t I.

Lug case to tube station, it has wheels, but I have lift it on the stairs and the handle you drag the case on is to short so my heels clip it. The handles on cases always seem to short for me, but the addition of 4″ heels make it worse.

Tube to Euston, get a ticket, go to the machine, select Milton Keynes but it will only sell me a day return and I need an open one, oh. Go to the manned ticket office instead and ask for an open off peak return for MK, he asks Virgin or London Midland, I say Midland, and he says that’s more expensive, What, Virgin is cheaper? Hey wait a minute why am I asking for a ticket to MK anyway? I’m not actually going there, why was I thinking that? Try again, ask for a return to Fenny Stratford, £25, sorted. Phew.

Train is in 10 minutes, just enough time to get a sandwich. Ask for a Camembert baguette from Pauls, it sort of comes out in French, so the woman serving replies in French, and it carries on in French until she’s asks if I want the sarnie hot or cold, I say “Froid” which I’m sure is the right word, but she doesn’t understand my me. Switch back to English. Odd little interaction that, one of a few that day, I was a bit more befuddled than usual. She is very smiley and polite though and very quick with the Madam’s (to quick? Am I being paranoid again?)

On the train, copy of Metro, my sandwich and Ipod and the journey to Bletchley flies by. Have to lug the case up the stairs to cross to the other platform at Bletchley, group of teens spot me doing this and make sniggering remarks, I’ve been clocked. When at the top I see there’s a lift I could have used.  Down to the other platform, no lift on this one, phew that case is heavy and on to the little branch line that takes me to Fenny Stratford.

Little train goes Chug Chug Chug and we are there, just the walk to the hotel now and its mostly downhill, phew. Rooms ready, girl on the desk has seen it all before, get my key card and to the room. Relief, made it, minimal grief, what was I worried about?

Unpack, have a coffee and freshen up. Right lets take the photo, get out the tripod and the camera and er oh, bugger that’s what I forgot, the quick release plate that attaches the camera to the tripod. Dam, no way I can use the Tripod without it. Think, Think, improvise, well if I put the camera on the desk, I can point it at the door and get shots that way. Had to prop the lens up a little with one of the packets of complimentary biscuits, and the side of the body with the lens cap. Pictures didn’t come out quite straight though, but dunno, sort of works. Fiddle around with the flashes until I didn’t look completely horrible and snapped a few shots

Text Sophie and Louise to see if they are around, they are, with Saffy and Kay Denise, so lets get to the shops :)  Phone runs out of credit as I send my last text, better get some more then. We pile into Sophie’s big four wheel drive and head towards MK shopping centre, 4 of us and the Sat Nav are offering poor Sophie directions, navigation by committee, I’m surprised we ever got there

Walking towards the shopping centre from the car park I start to realise the heels where a mistake, they are starting to hurt. Also Louise is the only one in flats, so we are all struggling to keep up. I must be standing out a bit too, the others are much nearer average height, so they only come up to my shoulder, the amazon was going to get everyone spotted.

We have to get back to change for dinner so we only have an hour or so, so it’s a quick dash around the shops, only me and Lou have places we have to get to, though both me and Saffy want to stop in New Look for a hour or three Superdrug, get my wipes and phone top up. Kay Denise leave us at this point to do her own thing for a bit, good idea if you want to get anything done, and not get looked at, big bunch of T girls is a bit obvious and not exactly efficient.

We take a stroll towards the nice American cake shop intending to get a coffee, looking at a few shops on the TK Maxx is new, we have a little look at the bag and shoes. They don’t have a good range of size 9’s. As we leave I sort of overhear one woman saying to another, “look there’s a transvestite, and another…” so 2 of the group passed then, don’t think I was one of them.

Coffee and cake shop doesn’t stock Soya milk and Saffy’s vegan, so no coffee break yet. Do pick up one of their nice carrot cakes though, for breakfast on Saturday. We go looking for Clarks, Louise needs shoes, but we sort of go the wrong way and loop around a block of the centre, feet are complaining a bit now. Louise finds a couple of pairs and tries them on, eventually choosing the more expensive pair. I think they looked the better than the cheaper ones Lou. Sales staff in Clarks are very nice (and one is, er, blessed, try not to stare).

Times getting on, last chance for a coffee, on the way back there’s a Starbucks, and they do do Soya milk (at a slightly OTT mark up) Capuchinnos all round then, see Louise’s twitter/facebook for the pics, but time was getting on and we couldn’t sit around to long. Pity it was so rushed, we really need a whole day to do MK shopping centre justice don’t we girls. Pick up some water, juice and crisps in Starbucks also, my post club supplies.

Back towards the car, a girl comments about “How much foundation” or something like that as I pass by. Outside and the rain is coming down, yes I have a syrup on and a hat, but still seem to think I need a brolly, I have the one  I got from London Fashion weekend with me, it breaks when I first use it! But it can be fixed, but shouldn’t have had to be fixed. Feet don’t like these boots now

Back to the camp then, we let the Sat Nav figure out the way. 5 now and we agree to meet in the bar at 6 for a drink before dinner, just enough time to freshen up, change and grab a photo.

Dinner outfit was meant to be that grey batwing top from BHS, with a tiny little American Apparel shinny mini skirt and the same boots and tights as before, sort of working up to the club outfit from the daytime look. Dab a bit more makeup on and get the outfit on, yeah I think it looks OK, good enough for a few photo’s.

Feet are not having a good time in those boots, decide to switch to flats for dinner to give them a rest. Just as I’m checking the makeup for the last time, I catch a glance at my back in the mirror. Oh shit, that tops sits very low at the back, so low it er shows a patch of my back I would rather not show, as er well, erm its go a bit of hair on it that’s to much information again, sorry. I can’t go out showing that, I can’t reach it with a razor (really I need a wax), don’t have vest with me and wearing the black tee shirt underneath the top looks silly. Damm.

Abandon outfit, so what to wear? Only thing really left is the evening top, the gold one from H&M, it can sit off the shoulder but not as much so not as much back is shown. It needs a belt to give me some shape as it’s rather baggy. Swap the skirt to the slightly longer and shinier but not as tight Dotty P one as it goes better, but stick with the thick tights and the flats. It will have to do. No time for a pic, must get on.

Bar, spot a few familiar faces and some less so, but they are dressed in gold, so I assumed they where with us. The whole night had been organised via the Angels forum, what started out as 20, now about 15 where going to the Orchid Lounge for Dinner and then back to Pink Punters for the Big Night Out. The infamous TV Chix BNO night. This was probably one of the reasons I was nervous about all this trip. The gold was a suggested dress theme for the night. I say hi and ask if anyone need a drink, nope all OK, so I try to get one my self, even though there’s more staff in the Camp then I’ve ever seen before (they must be expecting some business :))  it takes ages to get served. Try to chat to another girl at the bar, who seems to think I should know her, Tiggy or something, she’s a little happy (or mad :)) but the conversation goes a touch surreal and I don’t think I managed to speak a coherent sentence (so no change there then). Finally get my drink and return to the Angels. We are still waiting for a few more but everyone who’s expected turns up on time, even Kimberly :) 

Louise had been very organised and got 2 large taxis booked to get us to the Restaurant, say I’ll go in the 2nd one, but it takes a bit longer to turn up, ohhh, that means I’ll get less of the nice crackers in the restaurant while we wait for the table. Upside is the taxi driver knows where to go this time.

We always get a nice welcome at the Orchid Lounge and since we take so long choosing what to eat there’s plenty of time for Crackers and Wine, and pictures of course. Restaurant looks a bit empty though, but it’s pretty early still. Food, Saffy’s here so we can share a veggie set meal, I don’t have to be the awkward odd one out

Foods, good, and there’s plenty of it and the wine just seems to flow, waiter just keeps topping us up, so I really have no idea how much I drank, probably just about enough It’s nice to chat (well babble incoherently in my case) and eat and gosh I even smile, must be having a good time pictures, well one or two where taken.

Waiter recognises my Nikon model.

It was another good night at the Orchid lounge, great company, great staff, great location and great food and by London Standards, not even expensive. But the experimental side of me always wants something new, perhaps we could go to the Jaipur Indian restaurant downstairs next time? Taxis turn up again and whisk us back to the hotel.

Evening outfit now, but its just going to be a quick change into thin tights, strappy heels and Barbie hair. Let Kimberly use my bathroom to change in, she isn’t staying the night so hasn’t got a room to use. Really should of  put a bit more slap on worn the bra with sparkly straps and taken a photo or two before I looked too rough, but well time was getting on. Over the road to Pink Punters. They are building a new extension to it, wonder what they are going to put in there? Restaurant? Another dance floor? Hotel Rooms?

There’s no queue, its straight up into the club and here we are BNO. Where is every one? The main dance floor is pretty empty and there’s hardly any T-girls, guess we must be early, the basement dance floor wasn’t open either, but ah, upstairs, there’s every one. In fact this is where most of the T-girls spent the whole evening, it got rather busy later. Things are going to get less precise around now, because I wasn’t wearing a watch and had lost track of time, and “enough” wine at the restaurant was actually quite a lot then had couple more in the club so, well you know.

Wasn’t really very sociable at the club, danced, drank, took photo’s of coloured lights, and just sort of wandered around really. Perhaps cause it was so busy upstairs, I didn’t want to stay and chat much. Sorry. The lights where pretty though.

Danced like a loon for a bit, tried to catch the eye of a pretty GG (I’m pretty sure anyway), but she was with a much older guy and didn’t appear interested in me. Tried to sort of dance with a few others, but it never really lasted, I just don’t know how to dance with other people. Often just ended up being slightly hypnotised by the lights instead, Tragedy came on and sort of lost it a little under the green light. The real tragedy of this was it was probably the Steps cover version. That and I really should learn the steps to the Time Warp.

Feet really had enough of the heels after an hour or two, back to flats, which I’d packed in my bag because of the inevitable. Had heels to wear on Saturday and Saturday night, the outfit included those killer thigh boots, yikes I’m not going to be able to cope.

Now usually in Tranny clubs I’m hit on once or twice by desperate admirers, often late as they have already tried there luck with the younger prettier ones, or sometimes even immediately as I walk in if they are truely desperate or myopic (like Naps or Tranny Shack) so was sort of expecting to be pestered a bit, given this nights reputation and the TV-Chix connection. But no, completely ignored, barely even saw anyone who I would even peg as an admirer. Now I’m not into blokes and being hit on is sort of awkward and uncomfortable, but I have to admit, it does stroke the ego a little bit, to be desired (even by someone drunk, desperate and definitely not your type). I guess all that sort of stuff was mainly going on the attic bar which I didn’t really frequent much anyway. But if anyone is fearful of going to the BNO because of the admirer situation, I guess there is nothing to fear it really is “safer” than the Wayout or Napoleons (well if you are a bit old and minging like me anyway and stay on the dance floor).

Food, wine, dancing, heels all took there toll, had to duck out after a while, don’t exactly know when it was, but I suspect it was around 2. So I’ve survived a BNO, yeah not bad, I wouldn’t not go again, but I think regular Saturday nights at PP are more fun, plus you can always get a seat upstairs.

Since I’m in flats the infamous ditch offers not resistance. Back to the room, bed, not yet, drink some of the water and eat a few crisps and set the camera up. Well this outfit had to be photographed Put the heels back on, just for the picture.

Clean up, bed, sleeeeeepppppp :)  until about 8:20 am when the hotel fire alarm shocks me awake, scarring the living daylights out of me. It doesn’t last though and there’s no need to evacuate, phew. Back to bed for a little longer.

The rest of the weekend’s write up will continue in the next post, there’s Star Trek, bands, burlesque, booze, musical instruments being attacked by power tools and semi naked fetish models playing Twister.
So a regular Saturday night in Camden then
 

I’ve been toying with this idea for a while, but this week, I finally went and did it, I went to see about getting my face lasered. I still have no intention to go full time or transitioning, its not my path, but I’ve long felt my facial hair is a problem, well for Helena, for Ian, a bit of stubble suits him, I think (though I might be in a minority on this one) but for Helena it’s a pain, often literally. Shaving really really closely is often a messy and can  only be done with preparation, let the hair grow for a few days first, Clarins stuff on face the night before, bath or shower, exfoliate, hot water and a new blade. And then I usually end up cutting myself a few times and still don’t mange to get the neck completely smooth. All in all bit of a palaver, very time consuming and still there’s shadow to cover up with half a ton of slap afterwards. And then if I want to do Helena the next day as well trying to shave the little that’s grown through is often a blood bath And then there’s the regrowth, spots, lumps, in growing hairs, red blotches and all sorts. Me and my hair don’t really get on. So sod it, hit it with frickin laser beams, that will show it.

From what I can tell laser isn’t often totally permanent, and it only gets dark hairs anyway, so this won’t be a permanent body modification (so if I don’t like it I can not follow the full course and most will grow back eventually), but should make Helena mode easier, quick once over with a blade to get rid of the white hairs then light foundation (as white hair doesn’t cause a shadow) and we should be good. Well that’s the theory anyway. Ian will have to be careful and not grow an odd looking white beard though.

I’d heard some good reports about Renew Medica on various forums, and did a little research, they do use the oft recommended (on T-girl forums) Lightsheer system (I’ve read other systems don’t use a diode laser often aren’t able to do much damage to deep routed thick male facial hair) and they had a local branch in Holloway. So I popped into their branch after work on Wednesday. Yes they do male (well I’m not going in Helena mode am I) facial hair removal, first there’s a free consultation and test patch they have do first and they can fit me in on Friday Evening. Laser system, oh we got rid of our Lightsheer and now have an Alexandrite system. Ah OK, I still booked in for Friday but had to do some research on this other laser. Turns out to not be promising, its apparently OK on pale skin (should be OK there then) and very fine hair (no that won’t work). Hrrmm.

So Friday, boss wants a meeting late in the afternoon, bah and I’d got in early so I could get out early. But still I make it on time for the appointment, in fact slightly early. Drink a pint and read a paper at in a nearby pub to pass the time (and get a little dutch). Realise it’s a really really blokely football pub, feel totally out of place and remember I’ve had stick from here when walking past in Helena mode. Never going there again.

So finish my drink and go to the clinic. There all ready and I’m taken into a consultation room with a nice young er whatever the technical name is for a person who does the lasering is who goes though the process. There’s consent forms to fill in, medical questions and I get shown pictures of all the possible side effects. All OK, but then we talk about the machine. Turns out she thinks Lightsheer would be a better option for me as well, and although they didn’t have one here, they do have one at there Muswell Hill Branch. So instead of testing me with the Alexandrite machine they booked me into Muswell Hill next week. To be continued …

Right weekend and er nothing really to do, big night(s) out is next weekend, I’m not on support but I suppose I could do a little shopping Actually had been thinking about my outfit for the Festival of Sins and figured I needed a new skirt, I had a short Lolita one, but I wanted a black gothic one that’s short at the front and long at the back, where could I get one like that? Camden of course. Plus there where a few other shops I wanted to visit, Peacocks and Vivien of Holloway.

Up not to early, shave goes well, perhaps my hair has realised it might be in trouble so has decided to behave Makeup goes on OK too, that Elizabeth Arden eye shadow is subtle and goes on smoothly. Clothes, well Autumn is definitely here, its windy and there’s a chill in the air, break out nice polo neck sweater, size 12 but I can still get in it (shows a bit of tummy though, I have joined the muffin tops ), denim mini and opaque tights, furry boots and furry jacket. All that wind, I’ll need a hat, can’t find the particular one I wanted, have I lost it? Perhaps, so wear a black beret instead. No time for pics, its gone 11 already, lets get out. But what’s that? a bobble on my tights, oh that won’t do, find a pair of scissors and cut it off. This was the incorrect course of action.

Walk towards Dalston, to Peacocks. Reason? well there’d been this thread on Roses about them now selling inexpensive Wigs, well they where on there web site, but no one had seen any in store. This sounded like an investigation for Helena Love:Trans Reporter and er well I quite like Peacocks anyway, plus there’re local. Figured if any branch of Peacocks would have them this one would, as huge and there’s 3 or 4 places near it that sell wigs too (Afro Caribbean Cosmetics and hair care shops).

Walking along, spot woman in jacket, jumper, opaque’s, furry boots, all similar to mine, good, outfit probably blends well then Cross road, van coming, stop, but the driver slows down and waves me across, oh nice

About now I realised there’s a hole in my tights, where the bobble I cut of was. Said that was the incorrect action. But the thick tights don’t ladder like thin ones, so I’ll survive.

Peacocks, hey a hat like the one I think I’ve lost, get that. Clothes, hrm I have so many these days there’s not a lot I want or need and where are these wigs? Not in the hair accessories section with the extensions. Loop around the store, determined to find them. Over there? The Xmas novelties section? Yes as it happens, there’s a rack of them, in boxes, 2 styles, curly or straight, 2 colours brown or blonde, all £16. So I buy one, purely in the interest of trans science ;)  long straight blonde (As I have several curly/wavey ones). Trying on later, I’m not unimpressed, quality wise, it’s a notch above the joke shop/fancy dress/really cheap synthetic wigs you can find (but expensive hair replacements systems aren’t going to be worried), the fibre is smooth and shiny, multi tonal and brushes though easily. On, hrmm a bit too platinum and synthetic looking perhaps, well it is really being sold as a novelty item, but its not unwearable. Perhaps the brown ones would be more realistic. Think I’ll keep it, for dressing up/photos/club nights, maybe cut a fringe on it.

Over the road to the shopping centre, well just for a look. Shoe Zone doesn’t have those grey boots I’ve seen around,  New Look doesn’t have much either, but it’s the smallest branch of that store I’ve ever seen. There’s that other shop I always look into, an independent (name I forget), I always have a look in it, the staff are friendly, but never buy anything, why, well the clothes are really just to much, even for me (and I get accused of overdoing it), a lot revealing/tight/shinny/party/tarty stuff I could never hope to pull off. But I still look.

Well I’ll just have a quick look in Matalan, while I’m here. Lots of party stuff now, here and elsewhere, stop looking at it, yes I know you are magnetically attracted to it, but no, you have to much of it already and don’t often go to places where you can wear do you. So skip them, and have a look at the wide fitting shoes instead. They’re short on stock on the larger sized wide fitting though But there’s some nice stuff in the regular range, those ankle boots are fantastic and not in any size bigger than a 6 but what about those…. Shinny black patent peep toe shoe boots with gold fittings, small platform, 4″ stiletto heel, they would really work with the gold out fit for BNO next week…. Sizes, no wide, biggest is an 8, does it fit? Er sort of, I can get them on and walk (slightly limited by the elastic that ties the pair together) but have a feeling if I wore them for more than an hour I would want to hack my own feet off with a rusty machete. Sod that, I’m buying them. Pick up coat hangers and nail file at in the queue for the tills, Well I needed them. Pay but then notice they have fancy dress items for Halloween, hrrmm that cape? Could it work with the FoS outfit, maybe? But I don’t want to queue up again, nah leave it.

Right that’s Dalston done and I’m starting to gather shopping bags already. Original plan was to get a bus from here to Holloway, but is there one? Not sure, but I can get the train to Highbury, the stations opposite can’t I and walk up, but hey that train goes to Camden as well, so change of plan, go there and bus it back to Holloway afterwards. Ask when the next train is, 3 minutes replies the London Transport man. Great, don’t have to wait. Get seat on train too. Luck appears to be running with me today.

Camden, hungry now, but decide I’ll walk to Chalk Farm, find something to eat and then work my way down the markets. Stop at a spot I know is good for photo’s on the way, first shot is too dark, fiddle with the cam, but ahk, someone’s coming, take one later. Through the side streets to the main road, better stop at the garage, I’d finished my latest book, so hadn’t anything to read with me and I hate waiting for food on my own without a book or a mag. So stopped at the garage to get a magazine, nearly went with Bizzare cause I am or Glamour as its cheap and girlyer, but Marie Claire won in the end, purely on the fact it had a chocolate (70% dark with raspberry :)) bar on the front

Was looking for somewhere to eat, but Espcade, that big fancy dress shop I like is on this street, so have to have look around, its good for ideas and accessories for dressing up outfits and just sort of fun really. OMFG They have it, the Star Trek Uniform I’ve been after (the Uhura one from the latest film), the one I mailed ordered still hadn’t even been processed,  if I can get it here I can cancel that. Oh, they only have 3 left in stock, 2 extra small, one small. I’m not small these days am I. Have a close look at the small, well it doesn’t look that small, it says for size 6-9 on it, that’s not UK sizes is it. Ask a sales assistant what size it is in UK ones, he doesn’t know, so he grabs a female colleague to help. She reckons, size 10-12. Ah, oh , damm. I’m not that size am I (The one I had on order was “Medium”) So what to do, I have an irrational desire to own this, even though its to small and very expensive for what it is. So determined, I went to a quite corner of the shop and did a naughty thing. I opened the packet it came in (It was sealed with poppers, so I could refasten it ) and examined the dress. The material was slightly stretchy and my eyeball sizeometer said it will fit. Right, buying it. Well I had to since I opened the packet didn’t I. Worried about the dress till I got home and tried it on. YES! It does fit, I am “Small” Its tight across the shoulders and bust, but not seem bursting and around the waist and hips ever so slightly loose, fantastic one slight problem, its short, very short, on me its about as short a dress I can wear, almost knicker flashing, in fact I think it does reveal them at the back, oh er, photo only outfit I think. I got out my boots out and put them on, then spent while in my flat zapping action figure collection with my phaser and scanning my DVD stack with my Tricorder expect photo’s next week. Mail order size Medium was cancelled, Medium would have been to big anyway. Funny that, small in this range fits me, but the Gothic Lolita shirt I got a few weeks ago had to be XL. I guess cause this outfit is designed for American Trekkers, and the Gothic Lolita is designed for young Japanese girls, so the sizes are relevant to there target markets.

Right back to Saturday lunchtime. And it was lunchtime, hungry, where to eat? Carry on up towards Chalk Farm looking at pubs, cafes and bars. Some where OK, but they didn’t feel right. But then, there, that Pub, perfect, I just had to eat there, even if they only had crisps. Turns out they had nice food anyway, a hummus and veg wrap was great, big too, I shouldn’t have ordered the side of chips. Have a pint with it, cause I feel like it Girls drink pints these days anyway.

So why this pub, simple, the name. The Enterprise

Finding that after finding the trek costume (no I didn’t know it was here before hand) was another example of the luck being with me today

Back down though the markets, I was looking for that short/long goth skirt and figured I could do with some fancy tights to, would “Mockings” work for the BNO outfit and perhaps some with bows on for the Gothic one, to peak over the top of the thigh boots?

Drift around the Stables market for a little bit, attempt couple of photo’s but they don’t seem to work. Think I look a little rough. But on the other hand, I’m getting very little attention, female pronouns and smiley shop assistants, no comments I can hear (or understand anyway) and just a few looks. Perhaps it was because I was feeling good and feeling lucky, a sort of positive energy/confidence thing going on?

First Gothic place I hit was one of the Lolita ones, Sai Sai, and yep there’s a black skirt, short at the front, long at the back like I wanted, but not perhaps as short/long as I wanted and it had a few sequins on it I wasn’t sure about. Put it on the maybe list. Next Lolita place (which I think is actually just another outlet of the same store) with the really helpful girl in it has a similar one, more sort of raggedly styled though. Again on the maybe list. 3rd Lolita place, nope, corset place nope, 3 more Goth places, nope and I’ve ran out of markets. Oh. Will go back for the first one I saw. But need cash, know they don’t take cards now, massive queue outside HSBC and the branch is shut, big queue outside Nat West, but the branch is open, and inside, cash machine with no queue. Why don’t people look inside? Big group was preaching Islam outside the HSBC, they ignore me, don’t think they want me

Back up through the markets and shops (H&M, American Apparel), remembering to look for tights. First hosiery place in the Canal side Market has the mockings, the 2nd has black opaque stocking with black bows (well hidden though). Result, again Trying them on later, the stockings where perfect, but the mockings, mock stockings, one piece tights with a suspender belt and panties printed on them weren’t so great. See I thought the suspenders/knickers would be printed on top of sheer flesh tone, but no, there’s no flesh tone, the bits that would show flesh do, they are cut out. Oh well, they aren’t very long either, don’t think they are practical for a tall Tgirl, will go with regular tights or holdups instead.

Back to the skirt, one size only, but it should fit (confirmed later, does) right, lets get it. Am building up quite a haul, shoes, hat, wig, tights, stockings, dress, skirt, shopping bag collection is getting heavy.

Right that’s Camden done (well I pick up a tiny cup cake as well :)) time is not to late, feet don’t hurt so lets find a bus to Holloway. Guess the bus stop is over there, guessed right, and 3 buses heading in the right direction turn up in 2 minutes luck still holding, even get a seat. Nearly fall down the stairs though when it stops though.

Bus stops outside Seven Sisters Shoe Zone, and they do have those grey boots I liked. Heel is a bit low (but that’s probably a good thing) and fit isn’t perfect, but I want a pair of everyday grey boots, so another shopping bag is added to my collection

Nag’s Head market next, to the fabric stall. You see I’ve got this white leather(ish) jacket I like but rarely wear, it has a sort of lace up detail at the back, which is cute, well was cute, the lace fell out and I’ve lost it. So as its my lucky day, I thought I’d try the fabric stall as they also stock ribbons and laces and the like (bought bits and pieces here before you know), and yep that’s just what I need, a sort of white flat lace about 1cm wide. 2 metres, please, of course that will be 30p I do like this stall. The stuff did lace up the Jacket nicely, slightly to white midst, but it should fade to match the jacket:)

So many bags now, but we aren’t far from home. Price Less? More shoes? No I can’t, oh well its worth a look. There’s a row of boots on a sale rack, black, knee high, calf fitting is not massive, heeled, rather nice in fact, £10! But I can only find an 8. Ask if they have a 9, they look, no, sorry the 8 is the last one. That’s why it was £10. So finally the luck runs out. But that 8 looked big, it might of fitted…

Right definitely the last shop of the day, Vivien of Holloway for reproduction retro 40’s and 50’s dresses and outerwear. Been meaning to go here since they opened a month ago, but never found the time. Huge range on display, good selection of sizes to. Among the polka dot and flowers I find a black satin dress that catches my eye (well it would wouldn’t it), a very old school glamorous 1940′ style, but with a high enough neck line and shortish sleeves and they have a 14’s… Discuss the sizing with the woman serving, she reckons the style suits tall people with long bodies and the sizing is modern, not 1940’s so the 14 or 16 should fit. But its £69 and I’ve so overspent today as it is. But it has set off idea’s, that, with black satin opera gloves, seemed stockings, black courts, long auburn hair and very red lips? For the Magic Theatre? The next one is on Halloween and that dress would be pure vamp What do you think? I was planning to reuse the FoS outfit, but well, I will have to see how the money is going, I might be going back to Holloway in a couple of weeks

Have to get home now. As well as all the bags I need the loo. Take a short cut across the Emirates stadium (Arsenal are not playing today), across the bride and hey photo opportunity.

Smiled for once, well I was happy, still think I look to much like my mum when I smile.

Home around, well had to take that bio break and put those bags down. What to do for the rest of the day? Off out again? There’s a book I want at forbidden planet. Nah level that till Saturday. The Gypsy Hotel? Well the line up looked interesting and with the way my luck is going…. Keep it mind, refresh the makeup and pop to the local shops for wine and food (local mini supermarket where Ian is known, no problems) . But back home, well I’ve got the wine, and food and it’s been a long day, lets just chill, DVD? No lets play Aion But Aion doesn’t work out, need a group to finish my quests but can’t find one. Logout, luck has departed me. Have a dressing up session instead, well I had all those new clothes to try on Can only find one lace glove and drop a ring somewhere.

Sunday, mildly hung over (finished the bottle of wine the night before) so back to Ian mode. Spent the morning tiding up, washing my boobs, hanging up jackets and doing laundry. Find the hat I thought I’d lost and the ring I dropped and a makeup brush that had gone missing and the other lace glove.

Afternoon, now its chill out time. Sunday Lunch in the pub and stroll in to town to get that book. Get two Go looking at snowboard boots in Covent Garden and buy the first snowboard magazine of the new season, the white stuff is calling me again. Also stop in Screen Face, the Theatrical Makeup shop. Ask about beard cover, find they have a range of stuff to mask blue beard shadow, sort of orangey concealer, we try a couple of shades to find the right one for me. Basically just keeping my options open in case the laser doesn’t work out.

Next weekend is the big one, Big Night out on Friday, Festival of Sins on Saturday, hangover, razor burn and foot pain on Sunday. If the laser doesn’t kill me first.