(I think thats the right number)

Usual miserable week at work, top it off with a departmental drinks and meal on Friday, I’d said I would, as I had no real excuse (they where having it in London, so it was practically local)  but wished I did. Still didn’t turn out to bad, drinks and a meal all paid for, managed to hold some conversations. Interestingly enough the restaurant that was chosen (not by me) Ruby Blue was near the Prince Charles Theatre and the conversation turned to Rocky Horror (they used to run a regular Rocky Horror nigh there, don’t know if they still do) and one guy in the team said he would like to go to one, in the full drag. I kept stum. But this guy (only recently moved to our team but has been at the company for a while) has also broached this subject before, in a training session I ran a while ago, somehow a TS printer engineer who has visited our site a couple of times got brought up (again not by me) and the GG’s there took the piss a little, but this guy was also there and he defended her. Do we have a closet tranny (another one) in the team? trouble from the way he looks, my T-dar wasn’t pinging.

Ok back to the main story, Saturday, Magic Theatre day at the Rivoli and I’d done my usual thing of booking the Novatel in Greenwich, I figure it might be possible to skip the hotel bit and get a mini cab back home, but well its a bit of a treat and as long as its not to often I can absorb the cost.  But the difference this time was I booked it as Miss Helena Love, not Ian, OK I’ve done Hotels in girl mode before, but thats been the Camp in MK and Tranny Towers in Manchester, both where used to this sort of thing, but the Novaltel was a regular 4* hotel in a nice area of London, bit more of a challenge. Since I booked as Helena, it would be check in and check out as Helena, so an all girl weekend it is then

Up early, bathe, fully defuzz and change, seems to work, outfit was based on the stuff I bought last week, Shirt Dress and grey jeggings, with the silver boots I had and a new cropped sleeve synthetic leather jacket I got midweek (Primark), accessorised with the black belt I wore the previous week and a new necklace/chain thingy. Think it worked. Also went with the new wig, but could get it as I liked it with hair grips etc, so I pulled out a beret and plonked that on my head (just like Brighton). That worked, think this wig works better with a hat. Like to think this look was pretty now and was still comfy. Bit warm though, with the hat and jacket, weather looked like it was warmer than forecasted. Also suspect the padding in my pants to give me hips and arse (less necessary these days, lard arse) would be visible under the skin tight leggings (size 10, only just got into them, but do you really want saggy leggings), so was always pulling the dress down to cover my behind.

Ready by 10:45, and was mostly packed, but had a little mission first. Rewind, had an outfit try on session midweek, the casual one and the fancy one for the Magic Theatre, but had a bit of a disaster with it. I’ve been gaining weight, mostly due to booze I think the outfit I had chosen to wear to the MT was the “Russian” PVC outfit I last wore to Striplite. It was tight then, but even though I could just get it on, it was too tight now, didn’t look nice and was very uncomfortable. Nearly went with the black leather Barbie outfit I wore to Torture Garden instead as that still fitted, but had a brain wave in the bath. Wear a corset under it My black satin 28″ under bust still fits, and that pulls everything into the right shape, with that on the red Russian top went on much better and looked right. So thats the outfit sorted then? er no, you see during the first attempt to get the top it on the zips caught in the fishnet catsuit I had on under it, and trying to untangle it resulted in several rips. Also it ripped at the neck when I cut a label off. :(  So that was really un-wearable, so Saturday first task was a dash to Camden to get another one.

Missed the overground to Camden by two minutes, so took the tube, which for a change was running (well half of it was) on a Weekend. Tube was slow and warm, relief to get above ground in Camden. Right out of my tourists T-girl on a mission here, first stop was the market stall I got the first catsuit from. Result, they had another one. Then accros the road to the shop I got the main outfit from on the off chance they had it in a bigger size, nope, just one left, in extra small and in green But they did have some new peaked caps, so I got one, in black with a skull on it, could use it with the outfit, could use it with other ones. Girl in the shop in nice.

We are against the clock, so dawdling, back home, er via H&M. Well they had mirrors so I had to check my face, but there’s this Angels do in October with a dress theme of gold and I’d spotted these dark gold leggings I liked, so snapped those up. Back home on the slow tube. Phew its warm now.

Grab a bottle of cold wine at the shop and have a snack back at home, we are still on schedule. Don’t drink all the wine and pack the bottle, my new catsuit and hat, my makeup and the other 2 tons of stuff I seem to need to for a Helena night in the big case. Was the light stand really necessary?

Stuff the over warm jacket in the case but keep the beret on, it looks good. Lug the case to the bus stop, the casters are rather awkward and its very heavy. Slow bus too London Bridge, but nicely timed, just have enough time to get a cheese sandwich before my train rolls in. 10 minutes on the train and we are Greenwich. Should of used the longer ramp, the stairs on the subway to the exit are hard work with the heavy case.

So its the nice Hotel in Helena mode and oh no worries, wasn’t an issue. Up to my room, oh its a twin not a double, and there’s a chair not a sofa. poo. Still the view is better than last time. Rearrange the furniture a bit so I can get a shot to take photo’s. The light stand proved to be useful after all, got my main flash high and did a ceiling bounce.

Right its around 3, I had sort of half promised to meet Louise and co before the MT at a wine bar opposite, but that was at half seven and even I don’t need that long to get ready, esp as I was already in Helena mode, so have a wander around Greenwich? Yeah why not. But it is a bit small though and I’ve seen it all before, still its a nice day. Check reflection in the way out, yes I think that works :)  want to check mail but the web terminals are in use.

Going to town I get my first comment of the day (in a language I know anyway), but the bloke actually commented on my height not my trans status, which I suppose is a win.

Check the cinema, see a film? want to see the new Tarintino, but it doesn’t start for a while and I’d read it was two and half hours long, so nah leave it for another day.

Wander around the markets a bit, ouch that chilli sauce is hot, then a few shops, JoY sale shops is interesting, but no must haves, but there’s a new Walter John Williams in Waterstones, have to get that. And since it hot, a Frescatto as well. Wander over to the riverside and slurp my icey drink.

Phone goes, its Louise. She had texted me earlier saying she had a room booked in the Ibis but was stuck in Traffic. Where are you? near the wreck of the Cutty Sark she says, so I turn around. There she is under a sign, we have to stop meeting like this Lou

We wander around the vintage and shoe shops for a bit before ending up in a wine bar for a glass. Service in the bar is poor, but the wine and the place is nice, we get a table in their garden and chat a bit. Everyone I know seems to be going fulltime/TS these days, think I’ll be the world’s last tranny who goes out in day light soon.

Times getting on and we both have to get ready for these evening, so its just one glass. But we both need supplies, so its of to Somerfield, which  is conveniently located halfway between our hotels. Bread and Humus for tea, and some more bread and juice for breakfast next day. Back to the hotel, want to check mail, but some kids are still on the web terminals

Right back to the hotel, between a bite to eat and a (another) glass of wine, some cooling off, converting the makeup to evening mode, getting into the costume and taking the inevitable pictures time gets on.

 
Also I appear to have lost it a bit, I no longer think I look OK, dunno, maybe its heavier makeup or the hair or the fact more of my body is on display or what but, no I don’t look right So what can I do, stay here and sulk or the just say the hell with it and go out. Yeah I went out, well its a tranny night and will be dark soon, if I stay away from flash guns I should be OK. Cover up the outfit as best I can with a thin coat and put the hat and gloves in a bag. Decide to leave the riding crop in the hotel.

Time has got on, Louise as already gone to the wine bar (told here not to wait), so its a solo taxi. The receptionist (think she is French, the Novatel is part of the French Alcor group) orders me a taxi, but has a problem with the world Rivoli, I had here some paper with the address on it, but she me to say it. Think she is struggling to control a giggle

But the Taxi arrived promptly and drives me down the direct route to the Rivoli. Cabbie Doesn’t say much, but does call me Darling and asks if I need to be picked up at the end of the evening after I pay, no I’m fine I reply.

Got him to stop a little early dam, and where is this wine bar? Keep walking, cross bridge past the station and ah that looks like it, and inside hello Louise again and Hi Alison.

We have a chat and a drink, the other girls have ordered food, but I’d already eaten. Still I steal a little bread and some of Lou’s crudities. BUt thats my last glass of wine, I have the camera that cost stupid money and am in heels (well chunky heels with a platform) so adding more booze into the mix wouldn’t be safe, switch to lemonade. With ice, that outfit is PVC and I’m feeling the heat already. And its too short, leave the coat on the bar, but still the tiny skirt shows, its on the point of knicker flashing, which I think is OK in the Ballroom but not out in the real world.

The bar, Mr Lawrence, is nice though, very much an old school wine bar, oddly out of place here, on slightly run down shopping parade full of takeways in Brockley, it would sort of fit in a little better in a side street in Mayfair or St James. But I suppose the ballroom is like that too, a little out of place, and a little out of time. Seems to suit really. I’ll go back. Wine was great too

Kimberly joins us, in a rather lovely white dress, and we continue chatting. And eventually the camera’s come out, what are we like, since the girls have got there little cameras and iPhones, I just have to drag out the artillery

Its the full howitzer tonight, D700 with MD 10 grip, 24-70 f.28 Nikon lens with the SB-900 on a new TTL cable, This cable has a focus light built in that sits on the hot shoe, it emits a red light light like some sort of laser targeting grid :)  The whole lot weighed a tonne. The camera went on the strap around my neck but the flash was a problem, what could I do with it when I needed both hands (to show people the pics on the screen for instance), had been thinking about this for a while and had come up with a solution mid week. The bit of the TTL cable that goes on the flash has a threaded lug that is the same size as a tripod mount (for use with a flash bracket I suppose), in this I inserted the screw that I use on the tripod quick release as it has ring on it, and on the ring I attached the shoulder strap that came with my G9. This way I could just carry the flash on my shoulder with the stra[ when I didn’t need it. In theory. In practice it tended to slip off, and I dropped it, twice still works though, phew. Maybe I should look into getting a flash bracket instead.

Back to the story, around half 8 we decided to head to the Rivoli. Helena Love, I might be on the Guest list? ah yes they replied, come in Sophie and Claire hadn’t forgotten, thank you, hugs , so here I am, technically, sort of, an official event photographer (in a very short shirt).

Put the coat in the cloak room and put on my hat and gloves, camera in the bag strut into the ballroom Its still early, and not really that full, find a group I recognise over the right side, the Roses, Philippa, Penny, Debs, Nina, Debe to name but a few. I use them to test camera settings on

Pics this time are all single pictures, no montages and all full size (well 95% of them) so you can down load all 12mega pixels from Flickr if you want. They took an age to process and an age to upload, but I think they where worth it. Flickr stats seems to agree with me, today might be the busiest day ever on my photostream.

Spend the next hour or so looking for photo targets (sorry subjects), and sipping a little lemonade. Camera is doing good, but a few pics are under lit, ISO goes to high, need to remember to point the flash at them a little. Also it seems the neck strap gets in the way of the view finder every time but the laser targeting thingy and the 24-70 work well, no shots that used it where out of focus. A few people offer to take my pic with my camera, I turn them down, well I’d already done the photoshoot earlier and well the real reason was I just didn’t feel very photogenic (though I was complemented on the outfit a few time). Tis a bit two faced of me to go around photogrpahing people but turn down photo’s of me Hat gets in the way to the view finders and the gloves don’t help either, both are quickly put away. Not sure I like the hair without the hat.

The room starts to fill up, and more people I recognise arrive, some by name, Susan, Jess, Tanya etc, some I’d seen on forums (mostly the chix crowd). The T-girls are a bit cliquey though, the Chix crowd their, the Roses crowd there and the Boudettes over there etc not interacting.

People are dancing now, and I sort of want to, but can’t with the camera etc. The entertainment starts up, there’s a a compare (who doesn’t really do much) , but the first act is a girl with a guitar, she has a nice voice and plays well, but after a little technical trouble she give sup 3/4 of the way through her song. Turns outs she stepped in a the last minute to cover a no show and was a bit nervous to begin with, but someone had made a quip about nerves just before she went on and that really didn’t help. Poor thing.

After her was a Burlesque/boylesque act, Mr Mistress (apparently an Alternative Miss World winner). He/she was good, doing a burlesque strip act to money makes the work go around (Cabaret again) starting fem but ending up more male. He/she did great performance and a great look, but if I have to criticise, what I will say is please find some sheer to waist tights, control pants under stockings isn’t a great look (meow biatch ;)).

After another short DJ interlude there’s the band. The usual band, the road house 5, but this time they have a female singer, and some of the other band members look different. I take photo’s but the first batch where poor, the ones from the 2nd set worked better.

Few more pics and I’m reaching my limit, had dropped of the camera bag after a while as it was gettingin the way (thanks for letting me take that in and out of the cloakroom cost free Claire), problem is that had my wallet in it, and I really need a drink by now, August, corset, heels, PVC, not a good mix, hot hot hot, had to stand in front of a fan for a bit every now and then.

Eventually go back and get the bag, so I could get a drink (Lemonade) . Take a few more pics

But then the bag goes back, I get my hat and gloves again and have a bit of a dance and a bit of a party Musics isn’t really happening though, but I do sort of get up for a few numbers and have a bit of a crazy dance to something I llke.

But its so hot, and really the ball room had emptied a bit, where where they all? Outside it seems. Normally smokers corner, but a lot of non smokers where getting some cool night air, so I hang out here for a bit.

Having cooled off, had my dance and had a drink or two (yes really lemonade) it was back to photo’s. Well I just couldn’t hang around talking or go dancing all night could I, no cause I rubbish at that As I’ve said before having a camera with me at a night out gives me a purpose, something to do, stop me being the saddo (thouhg I have to admit to sitting alone a number of times, just sorting out pictures or cooling off) in the corner and gets me interacting. Interaction was mostly successfully, though I told one guy he looked suave and he seemed to take it I said he was short, tried to recover by telling him he looked cool, I told another girl (GG) I liked her sparkley corset and she seemed to think I was talking about what filled it, but the oddest reaction was a Tgirl (not exactly the best dressed or prettiest) who when I asked if I could take here picture replied in something like “Would you mind awfully if I refused” in a slightly nasty tone Most people though where willing, though a few where rather fussy and a few reshoots where required. Evemt photography isn’t just about the pictures, you do need people skills as well, both my photo and people skills are poor so I’m glad of the opportunity to practice. Some people even did try to start conversations with me, mostly about the camera though.

Went back outside to take a few more their, flashless to get the atmosphere. Turned out a bit noisey and I;m not sure the light was really that flattering.

The crowd outside was quite a mix, a lot of T girls in some rather outrageous outfits in public and do you know what the reaction was? nothing, people on the street and in cars just ignored us, think we just sort of out wierded them,  they seemed to quite deliberately ignore us, possibly because they didn’t want to catch our particular brand of madness or was it just because we out numbered them

Back inside, still to hot, and since the lights had come down, a little to dark for good photo’s. Don’t have my bag with me and the outfit doesn;t have any pockets, but find my faux cleavage is a good place to store stuff like the lens cap and my cards.

The band came on for a 2nd set, I think it would of been nice if they dod a few more faster numbers, but I did manage to get some nicer photo’s this time, got a better balance of the flash and the stage lights.

Its about half 12 now and I’m pooped. Decide to call it a night, get a half of cold larger at last orders, but well there s a few nice people in the bar and one girl wanted here photo taken with me, I oblige, but get the big thing out to snap her and a few others there and about

Say my good byes and beet the rush to the cabs. Pick up my stuff from the cloak room for the last time, offer the poor girl who was working all night there a drink for her hard work (she refuses) and if off into the night.

Feel brave and don’t put my coat on, over to the cab office and get a ride back to the hotel. Cab driver opens a window, I might of been a bit wiffy by then But he calls me darling as well. Back to the hotel, dash though reception looking rough then back to the room to take everything off and just try to decompress a bit with another bread roll, the last of the humus and a little wine before collapsing into bed. Wish I’d remembered to pack pyjamas.

Sunday, didn’t sleep well and am up early. Another bread roll (well it was 4 for a £1, well I thought it was, they charged me £1.80 for them at the till) for breakfast and the last of the wine. The power shower with unlimited hot water in the room is a luxury I make good use of then its scrapping the face, on with jeans and a top, minimal make up and the old wig. Well I’d checked in as a girl so I had to check out as one didn’t I.

I look fat Check out around 10ish think about leaving the bag and going for a wander, but nah lets get home. Want to check mail but kids are using the terminals, are they the same ones as yesterday? so its off to the station, train, bus, another bus (was feeling very lazy) and home. Now I can check my mail, gawd I’d been off the net for nearly 24 hours, I had the shakes

Had whittled down the photo’s to just 150 or so, so spend the rest of the day sorting them out, er no. Ok I did a few, but the sun was shining and I had no food in and just really wasn’t up to it.

Got another bus to Angel, fancied a Sunday roast, a veggie roast midst, at one of my favourite pubs, the Lexington, though didn’t actually know if they did one. Turns out they did and it was rather good, got Yorkshire pudding and roast spuds with it too (not on the menu) . Pub was deserted, had the place to myself, settled in an armchair with my book for a bit after dinner. Lazy Sunday afternoon

Still feeling lazy I got the bus home, (slight diversion through French Connection) could of walked, but nah. Do get off a stop early, but just to go though the park and get an ice cream. Eat it on a park bench.

Back home, what wit the lack of sleep and all that food, (plus a little wine and beer, sorry) I just crash.

Wake up later and manage to get all the raw images processed into .jpg could of done with an early night but don’t get one.

Monday, sometimes it seems like if I didn’t turn up no one would notice, quietly get a few little bits done in my corner while the important people do important things on important systems. Back home and get the .jpgs ready for publication, this takes, er far to long, so long its nearly 2am before I even start the flickr uploader. Fall asleep, wake at 4:3am and finally get the last stragglers uploaded.

Sleep deprived I can’t face work on Tuesday, call in sick, not that they really care.

Next weekend I have a long weekend, 4 whole days off work, but the trip to Berlin hasn’t got organised so I’m at a bit of a loose end, any ideas?

Long dull week of work, flat hunting doesn’t seem to be happening either and I’m on call. Bah.

End the week with dinner with my brother, sister in law and nephew, in Nando’s cause the little nephew is very very picky and will only eat at certain places, he can be a bit of a brat sometimes, but he behaved himself this time. Reason, well brothers Birthday that’s all. Had a drink with him in the pub afterwards, he revealed a couple of little things that aren’t general knowledge about the family situation, I er nodded along. Thoughts about admitting to my other life kept passing through my head as he spoke, but no, managed to keep a lid on them, even after a few beers.

Saturday, let’s go girl. Up early and change into a simple causal outfit, denim mini, new grey cardi, leggings flats, white tee, nothing matched but it sort of went and was very neutral and I like to think, current. Makeup doesn’t go on well, there are bits on my top lip it won’t stick to, needs a couple of goes.

Mange to get out the flat just before 10, quick, but I was up at 6. Dash the last bit to the front door to avoid the new neighbours, don’t feel up to introducing Helena to them just yet (but the girl who lives on the ground floor flat has met her, no problems so…? ) Out the house without them seeing me, phew, ah spoke to soon, there’s the gas meter reader man. He is initially quite smiley and wants to read the ground floor and the top flat meters. The top flat is mine… I bluff and say neither of them is in, wasn’t in a brave mood you see.

Off to the tube then, Victoria line is down, again so it’s the Piccadilly. Weather is sunny but a bit cool, have I under-dressed? Windy to, am wearing the new longer hair and it won’t keep out of my eyes, must look a state.

I do have a plan for the day, shopping first, Oxford street, got my eye on a couple of bits and pieces, then back the flat by mid afternoon to change and photo’s (didn’t take one before I left) before off out again to “Frank Sanazi’s Frauline review” a comedy and burlesque night in the city.

Oxford street, getting warmer but still windy, keep ducking into shops to use a mirror to check my hair. Drift through a few place, oh the wig studio at house of Fraiser has shut so had a look at the downstairs bit with all the fashion concessions, a few maybes, but its all bit a pricey. As I leave though I’m stopped by a security guard. Oh shit…. I thought. I have a sales tag still on my cardi, arrggg, thought I removed them all (bough it in Ian mode the previous Thursday), and the guard want to make sure I didn’t steal it. But it’s a H&M tag and they don’t carry H&M their so he is fine with it. Quickly remove the tag afterwards and realise I was very lucky, as I had just been into H&M at Oxford Circus 10 minutes before.

Next stop is Debenhams, to get my nails done, they have a Nails Inc concession I’d used before you see and I though I would get my nails done here again, ready for tonight, well I was meeting up with Louise and she always has nice nails and mine always look naff. The concessions still there, but no people seem to be working on it, and there’s a queue building up, wait 2 minutes then decide to look elsewhere.

Over the road to Dotty P, I’d spotted a skirt I liked earlier in the week in another branch and wanted to get it one in Helena mode. Yes they have it, a sort of mid calf length stretchy and shinny one with a back zip. I do have a couple of tight shinny skirts (yeah I know, tarty) but this one was a little longer and though it would work for the evening. Try it on, the 12 fits, phew. Fix hair while I’m in the changing room. Off to pay (though have to double back to get that thingy they give you saying how many items you took into the changing room). Queue takes ages long, why is every one returning something.

Hey we are just next to South Molton Street and I seem to remember there’s a standalone branch of Nails Inc here. Yes there is, can they fit me in now without an appointment, yes, er no, but they can at 11:45, right I’ll be back at 11:45. That gives me just enough time to pop to New Look.

Don’t like to rush but we are on the clock today. I’d spotted some shoes I though I could use at New Look mid week, but wanted to go in girl mode and try them on. Takes a while to find them, but ah, there they are, sort of black and white  “brogue”  style heels with a strap, you see the next Corset and Diamonds has a 20’s theme and I have planned a sort of “Gangster” burlesque look, which these shoes would suit (still have to buy a pinstripe corset and skirt though). New Look size 9 wide fits nicely, pity they are so hard to find. While I’m in New Look pick up a reduced shirt dress that looks long enough (even for me) to wear with just leggings and some grey jeggings to go with. They have loads of size 6 jeggings, loads of size 8, 1 size 10 and no bigger. Decide to risk the 10, well they stretch. Don’t have time to try them on in the store, but find I can get into them (just) at home. Also find another shinny skirt, it’s better than the Dotty P one, longer and more pencil, oh dam, well I have to get that as well.

Checkout girl rings up the items, oh that seems cheap, did you include the shoes? Er no, oops sorry she says (perhaps I should of kept stum and got away with free shoes?  Nah I’m too honest) She puts the shoes though on another transaction, my card isn’t accepted though this time, arrgg, to many transactions from the same place to close together probably trips a fraud prevention routine. She swipes the card through the till and I sign the receipt old style, and that seems to work. The fact my card has Mr I thingy on it doesn’t seem to phase.

Doing well for time, can stop in Boots to pick up a eyebrow pencil type thing, a pricey Clinque one, but they are very good. I’d been using a black/brown one for some time to felt its really to dark for my blonde hair (though it matches my natural hair better) so get a lighter brown one. Buy a skin care product as well and get the free gift asks the sales girl? Er er, no not today.

Right back to Nails inc, pick a vampy dark red varnish called “Tate” and sit in the very little booth (obviously not designed for 6′ people) waiting for the nail tech. As I wait I make small talk with one of the staff who is tidying up, conversation turns to where I’m going tonight, er a Comedy and Burlesque night I reply. Oh Burlesque she smiles, seems she had seen a few at Erotica….

Nail tech comes and does my nails, younger and prettier than the other woman who was tiding up, but less chatty. Have to stop my self looking at her cleavage. Wait 15 minutes (she said wait 10) after they are done to make sure they are dry before paying. Girl on the till has to go and get some more change.

Wander back down Oxford street to Primark, 3rd time today past this guy handing out cards. Primark, really looking for a grey and pink check shirt, they have loads of shirts, but none are the right colour. Also was looking for a pair of black tights with a back seam, I already have a pair at home still in the packet and was planning to wear them in the evening, but I know they ladder rather easily, so wanted a backup. Don’t seem to stock them anymore :(  Spot this nice jacket (Oh not another one) white denim, military style, eyeball sizeometer says I need a 16 to fit around my chest (got the D cups in see). Can’t find a 16, they have every other size though Try on a 14 just in case, no too tight around the chest and I am not buying an 18.

After putting back the jacket I notice nails, which had now been drying for half an hour, had a smudge, in fact one thumb and one index finger where smudged, Ohh poo back to having crap nails again. I thought they where dry. All is made worse cause the shape and paint at the fancy nail bar cost £17 .

Leave Primark with a pink shirt and a grey LS top.

Walk back east down Oxford Street, its getting warm now, but the wind is still there, playing havoc with my hair. It must be a least half past lunch time by now, so where to eat. Spot a little pub near Selfridges, near all the restaurants, yeah let’s try there. Pub is nothing special, and must be in the same chain as my local as the food menu is identical. Staf are bored but efficient eastern european girls. Settle in the corner with a nice glass of Rosé, some cheese on toast and finish my book.

Quick bio break after that and what’s the time, hrm, still a fair bit left, decide to continue down Oxford street to where I can get a bus home. Been a mixed sort of day so far really, frustrating in a way, what with the nails, the mixed shopping success and the wind messing my hair up every 5 minutes.

Pass a makeup shop on Oxford street near Debenhams, B something, have looked in there before, don’t think it will replace MAC for me, but today there’s a girl in a rubber catsuit standing outside of it. That’s not something you see every Saturday lunchtime on Oxford street (But I actually its not the first rubber catsuit I’ve seen worn around here, even in daytime…). Looks like she is in some sort of superhero costume promoting the shop and posing for photo’s. Brave girl for standing out in broad daylight in skin tight rubber. Must be hot too, but I can’t waste a photo opportunity like that can I.

It looks like they have done a campy little film “Saving the world from Make up disasters” to promote the store, she was one of the stars, you can see it at www.bheroes.co.uk, worth a peek if you have 5 minutes to spare and nothing better to do.

Further down the street a man (with a slight American accent perhaps) says “Hey Giant” and taps me on the arm, I don’t respond, “Madam, Giant” he continues. I just keep on walking, don’t even look. That was just plain rude if you ask me. And I’m only 6′, hardly the tallest girl in the world.

Drift few a few more stores, a’ha there’s that red plain tee shirt I’ve been looking for in BHS.

Over to the west side of the street and pop into M&S to get some food. They have the £10 meal for 2 offer on again, that will do me for all Sunday, result. Though they had run out of the fishcakes a I fancied and dessert, oh if I must, take the lowest calorie option (but it was very nice :)).

Make it to the end of the street and the bus stop, still have a while before I had to go but felt I better get home anyway. No seats on the bus, stand in the middle trying not to look to conspicuous. Two giggly early teen girls get on and stand next to me. One sneaks a few looks at me and tries to whisper to her mate very quietly. Don’t think her mate heard it, but I did, “That’s a man…” . Oh well, it’s a known fact that a teenage girl can clock a T-girl from next Tuesday. But they don’t make an issue of it and are giggling about something else quite soon.

Home. Right lets get the photo of the day. Decide to montage it with the evening photo for a compare and contrast, so it will come up later.

Have a little rest, check the mail, try on some of the new purchases before changing into the evening attire. Try to refresh the face, want to just make it a bit heavier and vampy, but mess it up and end up having to redo the whole face. On with the outfit, done this one before sort of, red satin blouse, belt, seemed tights, heels and that new skirt. Takes ages to find both pairs of heels, but find lens cap I lost 2 weeks ago while I’m at it. Put hair back on, its not going to stay in place is it, hairspray doesn’t seem to help either, so try some hair grips, ahh yes that seems to work and they aren’t to obvious. Should really always use hairgrips with this wig from now on.

Go back to the studio (the kitchen) to take the 2nd photo, light not quite right, but as I adjust a brolly to fix it, I knock one of my SB600s I had on the dresser (it was providing a fill light) on to the floor. Oh shit it won’t turn on now, try fiddling with it, taking the batteries out and putting them back in again, but no, I have a dead SB600 sob that’s not a cheap item, better see if I can get it repaired, if not, its going to have to be a new one and they have been going up in price a lot recently due to the pound vs the yen. Not good

Do manage to get a photo in the end.

The shinny night time side seems to be the more commented on, but I think I like the daytime one better, it’s more the “real” me.

With all the messing around with makeup, clothes and hair, plus the photo and the flashgun disaster time has caught up with me, its 6pm. Just enough time for a little sit down, a drink and surf before I have to go out.

Leave house at 6:20, plan for the evening was,as I said, Frank Sanazi’s Frauline review a comedy and burlesque night at Dirty Dicks public house, hosted by the lounge ubermeister himself, Frank Sanazi. I’ve seen Frank a couple of times before (if you haven’t seen him, yes he is a cross between Frank Sinatra and Adolf Hitler, and although he can properly sing, it really is a piss take act) but the other acts where going to be new. I’d arrange to meet Louise Connolly (she’d found the event though her Burlesque friends on facebook) there at 7:30, but didn’t exactly know where the venue was so decided to give myself plenty of time.

Had changed into flats for the journey. Tube ride is efficient, if rather warm and I get to Liverpool Street for 7, bit early but I still had to find the place, and er oh there it is, big sign, virtually opposite the station, I am well early. Its very busy around the station and Bishopsgate. Spend a couple of minutes sending a text to Lou and answering a voice mail (We will go out some time Stephanie, let me know when you are free), but I can’t stand around street corners dressed like this all night (OK I had my thin coat on, but still the outfit is a bit much)

Decide the brave the pub, the downstairs bit where the show is on looks closed so I go into the main bar to wait. Pass the time with a glass of rosé (another one, became a bit of a theme for the evening) before changing into my heels, checking my hair and going downstairs.

Ah not closed, but there’s not that many people here. Guess I am a bit early still. The night was a all ticket in advance affair (and it sold out), I’d bought one as Helena Love over the web, but when I got the ticket email it was just a reference number with warnings about needing to show photo ID to get in. Yikes, I don’t have any Helena photo ID was hoping I could bluff it, so nervously approached the guy who seemed to be collecting the tickets (nice kilt). Name? Helena Love I replied, Ah yes and he ticked my name off a list. That was it, no ID required, phew.

Get another glass of pink (that’s about the 4th) order some food and find a table at the front to wait for the acts to start and Louise to turn up (she said she might be a bit late). Bop along to the DJ whilst I wait, he played the Kinks. I’m the only T girl here as far as I can see, the crowd is, youngish, some jeans and tee’s some quite dressed up (even the men) a few people notice me, but I don’t seem to be causing an offence. Dinner arrives, veggie platter, technically a sharing platter of nibbles for 2, but I scoff the lot (nice potato croquettes) well it was my main meal. Would have to dance and walk it all off later.

Louise arrives only a little late and the acts start up. Franks on first, he’s on good form, I think he might need some new material soon.

Then there’s another Frank, Frank Cassidy, a comic and the night’s organiser. Not bad during his act he says hello the people on the front row, including me and Louise, he takes my hand and asks me my name, I must have been too quiet because he replies “Hello Elena”. He does take the mickey out of the audience though, not us midst, a big bloke sitting near us with tattoos. But its good natured, if a bit brave, but Frank is a bug guy too and he does a little routine about his height (6′4″) and how it affects people, but I dunno, I’m 6′4″ in the right heels and I think that effects people a bit more, especially when I’m in a mini skirt as well.

I have big cam with me, fitted with the 50mm, which on reflection was a bit long, but I didn’t expect to be this near the front. Can get some pics without the flash but there are a bit soft, found it worked better with just a little tickle from the popup.
 
The comics alternate with burlesque acts (with the odd interval for people to refresh their drinks). Next on is Eat Cake, 3 girls (Louise knows ones of them and I think one of the others if Frank Cassidy’s partner) do a Cake (obviously) inspired burlesque routine. Fun one that

Next up is Maureen Younger, she’s funny. Like a lot of female comics she devotes a fair amount of time in her act to stories about her relationships, unlike male ones which often go on about getting drunk, wonder why…

2nd Burlesque act is Calico Cadillac, another of Louise’s friends. Posh girl and her maid, with posh girl going slightly mad after a few drinks. Mad indeed at one point wine was spat at the audience, just managed to get a pic, Louise got some of the wine. Turned out the wine was fruit juice though (well you wouldn’t waste wine would you). Camera reported an error towards then end of the act so no pics of the final stages. Turned out I’d knocked the aperture lock on the lens and it had slipped off F22. Easily fixed.

Penultimate comic was Ben Briggs and I think he was funny, but the number of wine glasses was starting to add by now and my recollection from this part of the evening is hazy. Do remember going to the loo after though, not unusual after drinking all that wine, but normally in the ladies I try to be as fast and as discrete as possible, this time, have an extended preen in front of the mirror adjusting my hair and makeup even though the place was quite full Dutch courage.

Burlesque 3 was Daisy and Doris doing a seaside themed routine, all a bit saucy postcard and very British

Last comic of the night was Kieth Platt, a representative from the people republic of Yorkshire, complete with flat cap (and mucky pants). Funny yes (even for this person of genuine Yorkshire origin), though a comedy character piece instead of observational stand-up . How hard is to write about stand up comics? Though writing about then 2 days after you saw them and being er the fact I was slightly tidily at the time doesn’t help

And the last burlesque is Miss Glory Pearl, I’d seen her at Corset and Diamonds before, but this was a different routine, no pole this time. No it was a jokey German themed burlesque strip with the final joke being a a pair of sequined Union Jack knickers revealed at the very end. Not a bad routine, but I think perhaps the SS jacket with that insignia was a little poor taste (though perhaps it fitted the theme of the evening and was a piss take), so I haven’t published the pictures that included it.

Frank Sanazi then rounded of the evening with a big all hands in the air waving number , I did it MEIN way

After that DJ Sauvé (he most certainly is) came back on a span a few tunes. There was almost a rush to the dance floor as a lot of the girls and even a few of the guys got up to cut some rug. Yes even I was up there for a few numbers to, well you have to get up for Aretha Franklin Good DJ, he would go down well at the Magic Theatre. Do have a dance with a couple of girls, and even a guy, the big guy, Dave I think with, the tattoos who got a bit of a mickey taking early danced with me for a little bit, which was very confident and secure of him (think he was here with his girlfriend). When I first started going out dressed I would freak out if a man even went near me (and was even a little nervous about t-girls) but these days I’m getting a little better, sleazy blokes still get the curt brush off, but I can play the role a little bit better if they are a gentlemen.

After a few dances, well its been a long day, I’ve had one or two glasses of wine to many and so its time to go. Change back into my flats, but decide to just carry the coat (it’s still warm) and climb the stairs up to the street. There a gaggle of girls outside (smokers corner) inc Louise chatting away. I stop to say goodnight and end up chatting to a couple of the burlesque girls for a few minutes. We insist they all come to the Magic Theatre next week.

Ponder moving on the to Way-Out as its only about half 12 and its nearby, but Louise isn’t interested and I’m too tired really, so give that a miss. Say my goodbyes and head home.

So how am I actually going to get home then? Er tubes are closed by now, so I guess walk till I find a bus. It’s a warm night and there are an awful lot of people still around, so it doesn’t feel unsafe or even uncomfortable. Walk towards Old Street, stopping for chips at a Kebab shop on the way. The clubs and pubs of Shoreditch are rammed, people are everywhere, but no one seems to give me a 2nd glance, I’m just another clubber.

Old street, find a bus, nah it’s a nice night, keep walking. Wander up to Angel, still thinking about going to another club, but hey there’s the righ bus, jump on and get taken all the way home.

Hot, tired, everything off, bed for what should be a blissful sleep. Well it should have been, but work calls me at 4:55, arrggg. It’s not something I can help with though, give them a few idea’s on the phone, doesn’t seem to help so I suggest they call someone else. They don’t get back to me and I hear nothing more of the incident, guess they fixed it.

Sunday wake up proper, oh I seem to have a little hangover, wonder why that is. Spend the day sorting out photo’s and dealing with more calls from work, argggg! Only manage to leave the flat for 10 minutes to get some bread Need more sleep after all that, but group of drunk lads shouting in the street at 3am spoil puts a stop to that

Monday, up at 6 to check some jobs, should of gone to work after that, can’, to tired, email the boss to tell him I’m working from home and go back to bed.

Next week it’s the Magic Theatre again, I expect to see you all there, dressed to the nines, I will be talking pictures.

Well more like occasionally slightly miffed.

Friday, a chance shortcut through the pound shop at lunchtime lead to a find, a toy MP5K submachine gun, quite detailed and realistic, might be a bit small, but would suit the photoshoot I had planned, 2 went in the bag, whole 2 pounds spent Like all toy guns these days they are bright blue with orange tips, I think to stop the police shooting you by mistake, but that won’t do for my photoshoot, they have to be black! (since they never leave the flat, they should be safe :)) so out with the spray cans. Halfway though the paint job, arrggg I’ve run out of paint! and loads of the stuff got on my hands. Must dash to the shops on Saturday.

In other geeky news I’d snagged a beta for Champions Online in the week, a new superhero based MMORPG from the same people who brought us City of Hero’s. Had to download a couple of Gb on Friday to play it and only got started late, I’ll just pop into it and make a character and try the tutorial and hey presto, its 2:30am., d’oh! And I wanted to get an early night. Can’t really say much about it as there is an NDA, but the character generator is loads of fun, almost endless possibilities, much like CoH, but shinier That’s good, the bad point is all this shininess make  my PC struggle, even with the lowest graphics settings my poor old thing can’t refresh fast, enough, FPS is poor, only just playable. This is my old PC’s fault, not the games though. PC shopping in the near future?? Think I ought to wait for Windows 7 though. I keep saying I should get a new PC, but never do.

Right Saturday, up at 7ish (not a lot of sleep going on here) and bathe/shave etc. But don’t dress, there was a reason for this, I had a flat viewing booked for 3pm and it was in Ian’s name, as well, he will be the one buying the place, Helena doesn’t legally exist. So he had to view it and Helena time had to come later.

Play with CO a little more (creating more characters) then pop out, first stop is the nearest car accessory place, in Holloway, for paint, then, whilst I was on Holloway road I might as well pop into a few shops Get some surgical gloves in boots so I can paint without it getting on my hands and have a little peak in Newlook and PriceLess, no must haves. While on my travels, I notice a new shop being fitted out, Vivian of Holloway is opening a shop in er Holloway (their current shop is in Kilburn). I’ve looked at there stuff online, very pretty 40’s/50’s retro style dresses, but since there is going to be a shop so local I will simply have to visit.  Looks like the planned opening date is the 1st of Sept. Bit worried that nothing will be fit me though.

Back to the flat, hello land lady, new people moving into the building today? Note to self, try not to scare them. Back to finishing painting the artillery, silver them black in a spray booth made from a recycling tub, as I’ve done before. New black paint is to shinny/satin though Games Workshop stuff I used before was closer to matt (but not exactly matt) and looked far more realistic. May have to go back to GW if I have to paint like this again.

After painting and a quick bowl of soup for lunch its off out again. Its still a bit early for the flat viewing, but I want to go and scout out the local area first. Tube to Moorgate, well I have plenty of time, so have a look around that big Newlook there. Spot a couple of I likes in the wide fit shoe collection, but I can’t find any size 9’s. Helena will have to go and find some of those another day.

Head east, meandering though the city, the sun is shinning and its rather warm (what sunshine in August, is this allowed) and I’m thinking about my outfit for the evening, its mostly synthetic leather, add to that the hair and makeup and the tights, oh bugger, I’m going to melt… When it comes to club outfits, I never really consider the practicality until too late.

But the sun does have a bonus, it makes all the city buildings pretty,  I have big camera with me with the wide angle (to shoot the flat), so more than a few shots of glass and steel where taken, yeah I’ve shot most of these before, but it was to good an opportunity to pass up on.

I’m quite proud of those shots of the Lloyds building. Not that anybody cares about architecture photography anyway.

Carry on through the city towards the east end, taking a fairly roundabout route, just really to suss the area, Hrmm not to bad, but this is the weekend and it all feels pretty dead.

Still to early to visit the flat, so carry on scouting the location. Hrmm neither branch of Tesco’s nearby stock a good range of low calorie veggie ready meals, what would I eat? A minus. Keep wandering till I eventually end up in a bar on Brick Lane for a breather, a glass of Chardonnay and a couple of chapters of the book before heading back to the building. Brick Land 5 minutes away is a plus

At almost 3pm sharp a girl comes out of the building and invites me in. Hallways are totally basic and looks a little unfinished. Get shown the two flats they still have available, Oh, so this is what a 40sq metre flat looks like, small (and for the price they go for, would buy you a 3 or 4 bedroom detached in some parts of the country) No I’m not getting the vibe, normally I can decide if I like a place in 2 minutes and I’m not getting it here. Clincher is the windows, or lack of them, both the main and bedrooms have one tiny window each and the lights are on even on a bright sunny day. No I couldn’t live there, No sale.

Back home via M&S for stuff for dinner.

Right home, for a change I don’t crack open a full bottle of wine and put my feet up, cause if I did would fall asleep, as I’ve done so many times before… Nope let’s get ready, cherry crush varnish goes on the nails and a rather heavy job is done on the face, lot of shading, smokey eyes, big red lips, even a beauty mark, half the for desired look and half because I don’t want it to come off easily. Then it’s on with the hair and the outfit and let’s take a few pics

I like that, it’s a fun look, sexy too? Dunno, sort of felt it I have odd tastes though. Although someone (thanks Rachel) has pointed out I look like Ozzy Osborne… it’s the sun glasses isn’t it and er perhaps the hair, and OMG the face too Suppose this is why they haven;t been as popular as I thought they would be, Normally the Ozzy is what I get the morning after with my long lank hair, smudged eyeliner and stubble.

Couple of light wardrobe malfunctions in the shoot I only realised afterwards, the blouse popped open and the skirt (the XL one I got a couple of weeks ago) sat a bit low on the hips. Cept my hips where beige padded pants and the waist band of it was visible and rather ugly. Didn’t have time to reshoot, so fixed them in Photoshop after. But I can’t photoshop myself in the club can I? safety pins to the rescue, one to make sure the blouse doesn’t pop open and another two to attach the blouse to the skirt so it doesn’t come out and show my pants or worse, my stomach.

I feeling the heat even after the photoshoot, yikes. Disrobe and chill for a bit with a very small bottle of wine before I have to go out. So how am I going to get there? The outfit is a bit much for the tube I’m not that brave (not drank enough obviously). Compromise, put the jacket, hat and lace cuffs in a bag and wear a thin coat over my blouse and skirt. Can’t really take big camera this time (forbutten) so pack the G9.

8:45 and off we go, new neighbours aren’t around, lucky for them and tube then tube to Mornington Crescent, it’s a relief to be out side again after the stuffy train. So why are we here at 9:15 on a Saturday night in a rather silly outfit, for the Festival of Sins of course Sin for the evening is Wrath, well I call my out the Dandy Highway Woman and highway woman performs armed robbery and that’s sort of wrathful isn’t it? I know more that a bit tenuous that.

Cross the road to the Purple Turtle, security guy on the door wants to check my bag (for smuggled in booze apparently), I oblige, but he’s very nice about it and jokey, pay my fiver to get in and, oh the bands have started already, damm, am late. Quick change into my outfit, arrgg no coins for the cloakroom and they can’t split a twenty, but the guy running it doesn’t mind and lets me go get a drink and some change. Friendly bunch these sinners

First band on is The Cursors, only get to see 1 and a half numbers before they are off, pity, they sounded quite good.

Gawd I’m feeling the heat already, pop to the loo to use the mirror, face still there, relief, just brush the hair a bit, but the hat is proving useful at keeping it under control. Oh bugger one of those white ribbons I tied on the hat last week has come undone try to tie it back up in a bow but doesn’t look as good as it did before.

Its pretty busy by 9:45, almost capacity I guess, still too many lads in jeans though. See a couple of people I recognise from previous events and say hello, but its mostly just wandering, drinking and eating the sweets they left out (I liked the liquorish).  There’s also some stalls at the back selling mostly accessories and fascinators too, quite like one of the little top hats, but no, not today.

In the upper section of the bar there’s seats and it’s a good place to rest your feet, hang here for a while, and you can still see the main stage, and get a better view of the dancers platform.

The organisers have put out paper and crayons her for you to draw on, which is er different Sketch a girl standing by the balcony. It wasn’t worth keeping.

On my circuits of the club I do spot another couple of t-girls, but don’t know them personally, don’t say hello, perhaps I should of. I (think not 100%) it’s a different host this time, he/she described themselves as a tranny, and there’s certainly heels, corset, tights and makeup, but that’s also a bare male chest under the fishnet and they used a male name (which I er forgot :(), genderqueer perhaps? But he/she is rather fun and flamboyant and poses for a photo

Try to get a few pics of the more dressed up sinners, which turned out to all be g-girls, funny that

But little cam struggles in this light, plus I never seemed to get the right moment to ask a few people I wanted to shoot, so there’s only those 4 but many more deserved pics. Still there was a couple of official photogs present to capture them (check Facebook and their official website) and even my image might have been captured too Will have to write a begging letter to the organisers to ask if I can bring big camera along to the next event (Oct 10th, Sloth, be there, if you can get out of bed ).

There’s a DJ on between the acts, I don’t recognise him, must be the guest DJ, he’s well animated and jumps around in the DJ booth And the music, hey I recognise this, Billy Idol, Danced up Metallica and Bowie, New Order and other 80’s stuff I can dance too, great Have a bit of a boogie, sort of with the other girls near the stage.  Definitely very warm now and OH NO, the bar has run out of ice!!!!!!!!!!!

There a little slightly raised section in ground floor of the bar near the stage where there is normally a table and seat or two, but tonight it was roped off, inside where a couple giving an BDSM demonstration. There’s some whipping and various things with food and candle wax later in the evening, and even a suspended rope bondage thing on the main stage, but its all er I dunno, to me, very unsexy, just seems to lack a bit of passion in my eyes, but I suppose its not really a spectator sport, you have to do it. The FoS has been described as Fetish Lite, perhaps with sort of thing there they want to go a bit further?

2nd act of the night was male burlesque, boylesque? Major Suttle-tease and his all male troop. Wasn’t looking forward to this really, I’ve seen a couple of male burlesque sort of acts before, at Torture Garden who seemed to be going look at me, look at me, I’m strange, they weren’t good entertainment and semi(or even fully) naked men, ewww, not pretty. But I watched, and was very pleasantly surprised, three of them did a medical themed routine called “Gay’s Anatomy”, it wasn’t a traditional burlesque striptease by any means, but it was rather well done, the boys where great dancers and very athletic but it was the humour and characterisation that won me over, it brought a smile to my face, it was a good show.

Pics rubbish though. Check, yes, face is still there, but I’m hot hot hot and the 2nd band doesn’t help in that respect.

Takes them a while to set up but its worth it. Dirty Disco wreck the place. Metaphorically Guitar, base, keyboards, drums, two backing singers and a mad man out in front, the music is loud and fast, quite good, but its that lead singers performance that stood out, the man’s a nutter Leaping about, climbing on the bar and speakers, mediating and generally being a proper rock star. One of the best performance I’ve seen in a while, well worth seeing of you get the chance, the studio music you can hear on their myspace page doesn’t do them justice. Got a lot of photo’s mostly motion blurred mad long exposure 2nd curtain flash ones with odd light and colours, which in this case, actually seem to work they are not technically very good, but I like to think they convey the right feeling…

Overheating now, but I don’t want to take the coat off, it would spoil the look (vanity!), so get another drink (on to soft drinks now) and mostly just stand near the door (drafts) and under the air con fans. Even pop out for a bit, a non smoking break, but the night air is pretty warm. Face has finally fell victim to the heat, flakes are coming off, patch up with powder the best I can.

Crowd has thinned out a bit, but it seems like its mostly the jeans wearers who have left, leaving the more exotic creatures of the night to party on.

Get asked if I’m the girl from mars by a woman is a nautical dress, er yes, turns out she’s  Nikita Sablier, the corsetiere, I saw her in the fashion show at the last do I was at here, but didn’t realise who she actually was. Think she must of found me after googling the April FoS. Anyway, she’s nice and has a new corset with the sort of military stripes like my jacket on it, will have to pop down to the shop in Carnaby and have a look,

Next act is the return of Major Suttle-tease, this time with a routine called Brokenback Rambo, as you can guess from the title, there’s a bit of a Military theme and is just that bit gay Hrmm, another athletic performance, but dunno, not quite as good as Gay’s Anatomy.

As I’m just resting in the upper area between the acts, someone comes up to me and says they have to leave soon, but I had their favourite outfit of the night and gives me a peck on the cheek before going. Wasn’t a g-girl though, oh well can’t have everything, still it was nice to be noticed.

Last performance I saw on the night (think one went AWOL and I didn’t get to see the last one or two) was a fashion show by Boobie Trap corsetry, great show, more of a Alison in Wonderland burlesque performance than a fashion show, nice corsets too (Oh and the makeup was really good as well)

Must be gone 1 by now, I’m melting I’m melting, the face has to needs patching up, again. Tired too, its been a long day, thank goodness my feet aren’t hurting as well (big gothy boots means I can be taller than everyone else but still be comfortable :)) There was still another act to go and there was a raffle to (and I’d bought a couple of tickets), but I’d had enough sin for one night, get my bag and coat from the cloakroom.

Loose the jacket and change into the coat to go home? Er no, perhaps it was the drink, but I felt a bit brave, packed up the hat in the bag, but apart from that strode into the Camden night in the full regalia. Night air is a bit of a relief.

Right lets find a kebab shop, for chips, well you know me. Its gone 1am and Camden is still busy, there’s a big crowd outside Koko and plenty of people on the street. As I pass one lad on the pavement, he holds up his IPhone at me and asks if he can take my photo, I look away ( should be bolder when it comes to photo’s given I take so many), but he then says he took the shot anyway. Think I hear his mates further down the road tell him “That was bloke”, that will teach him.

Guy in the kebab shop are very attentive and I get my chips immediately, hrmm not bad chips. Back towards the tube, which ain’t running now, but the minicab office is there. Cab driver is pleasant and has a BMW, but he doesn’t get a tip, I mean £15 quid for about 3 miles and he has to stop for fuel halfway there.

Back home, everything off, bed.

Sunday, oh so many pictures to sort out and do much washing to do, pub lunch was my only treat. Fatigue finally gets to me around 7pm and I’m out.

Next week, and er no real plans as yet… But there’s the Magic Theatre the week after that and September and even October are getting filled in, celebrate Sloth at the FoS with me in October, if you can be arsed

Thursday, utterly hacked off with work, why is it when somebody wants something from me it has to be done immediately, but when I need something, even if its just due to company procedure and bureaucracy when, I’ve atually done the real task, do my requests get ignored. Bah, told the boss I’m working from home on Friday and took the laptop home. Swing by a building that had flats in I was interested in near the city, it’s a bit odd, very industrial/office sort of area, not really residential, but then again its affordable, and only a stones from Shoreditch and the East end, near tube stations so I can get to work and well dunno had a little something, I’m interested, will try to get a viewing.

Friday, still hacked off, but what this, an answer, from the pretty young junior admin, could move on after that and managed to work most of the day.

But knock off a bit early in the afternoon, well things to do. First was make sure all the camera stuff was ready for the weekend, put batteries on charge, and try the camera with the new lens on the tripod. I look away for a sec and then hear a clunk. OMFG!!!! The camera and the lens fell off the tripod that’s 3 grands worth of kit hitting the floor, ARRRGGGG!  I literally scream out loud. Panic Panic, is it OK, hrmm looks OK, but Oh No, it wont turn on, Panic Panic Panic, Oh the battery isn’t in it is it, its in the charger. Get battery and pop it in, camera fires up and works perfectly normally. Phew!!! Nearly had a heart attack. Only real damage is the fact the lens cap appears to have been eaten by my flat (it does that to stuff), I can’t find it anywhere. Right I’m never using that tripod again, it was only a very cheap one I got in a kit a while ago, it doesn’t appear to be able to cope with the weight of a D700 and a 24-70 2.8 in portrait mode. Better get a new one I suppose, old one is now demoted to light stand duty.

Tube to the big camera shop near Euston, get one of there own brand tripods, its heavier than the old one and the quick release head has a lock mechanism so it can’t come off accidentally, have the cam with me to make sure it works on it. Also pick up a new backdrop (dark grey, I was bored of the light grey), a new lens cap (yeah the old one will turn up eventually, but I can’t wait) and some camps to secure the backdrop better (the clothes pegs never worked well).

Walk to Camden after that, for 2 reasons. First was to see if the shop had a larger version of that “Russian” PVC bustier I have, I’m planning to wear it to the Magic Theatre in a few weeks and its always been a bit too tight. No they don’t Second reason was to scout another flat. Initially this development sounded perfect, Camden, by the canal, I like the area and its really practical for work and stuff, was just on the edge of my price range though. But latter investigation showed all the actual canal facing flats in the development had been sold already and the others are well, Meh. I don’t like the road, the flats look pokey and dark and the view is poor (over a post office depot). Gone off the idea of a flat here, especially for that money.

Saturday, up at 5, well I had to. Brighton Pride today, so it’s a trip to the seaside, but to get my face on, changed, a photo taken and a train to the coast all in time to see the parade at 11 I needed to be up early, doubly so cause the Victoria line wasn’t running today and I’d have to get the bus to the railway station.

Bathe shave, goes well, till ouch, razor bite, blood Still not a bad cut, and its on the neck not the face. Change into the outfit I had ready, jacket, white tee, ping skirt, 40d tights and pull on boots. Bit much for August at the seaside, especially since it was sunny out, but the forecast said rain, so I didn’t want to go too skimpy.

Camera doesn’t fall off the new tripod, but I’m paranoid about it now. Pack up, big cam in a bag, big handbag with the rest, don’t forget the brolly and the fully charged IPod. Also get at hat out, a red beret, it will keep my hair in place in the sea breeze and if the heavens do open, add a little protection.

2 busses go past as I leave the flat around 8:10, bah, next one take a while to get to me, get connecting bus OK, but then it crawls though town, its gone 9:15 before I get to Victoria, the train ride to Brighton will be quicker!

Get a ticket and cash at a machine near the platform, far quicker than the main ticket queues and grab an ickle bottle of wine (yes it was a bit early for that) and some twiglets for the journey.

The train to Brighton from London on Pride day is hugely popular, so you have to be crafty. Get on the platform and to the train the moment its announced and am at the head of the queue by the door. But the door won’t open, won’t open, won’t open. Have to wait nearly 10 minutes before it does But I get right into the coach the moment it does and grab a seat. Glad I did, train is only 4 carriages and people are standing, it gets worse at Clapham junction and people can’t get on at Croydon.

But I have a seat,  I sip my wine, eat my twiglets, put the IPod on and just watch the track go by bopping along to the Chemical Brothers. It’s quite blissful really, plus the sun is shinning and there’s a happy party atmosphere in the overcrowded coach.

Sun is still shining as the train rolls into Brighton bang on time, its 10:26, should make it to the parade easily. Queue for the loo at the station is epic, decide to skip it and walk down towards town with the crowds.

Have some time to spare so I detour though New Look, after a pink skirt they had, its proving elusive, last time I saw it in London they only had it in size 8. Can’t find the skirt here either No comments so far today, but I’m getting the odd odd look.

Still need the loo, anywhere near pride is going to be mad, so pop across the road to the shopping centre and use there’s.

Right lets get to the parade, go down the hill to the seafront to find a spot. Cloud is coming in Does look busier than last year though, well it’s not raining yet. Walk up and down a bit before settling on spot on the town side of the road, pretty much where I was the year before, and prime the camera.

Good show I reckon, maybe a few to many services and business had floats, but a great effort was made by all and everyone looked like they are having fun still think it was shorter than 2007’s epic, but still better than London’s . Grey cloud doesn’t make for great light and an interesting backdrop, but the pics are not a total failure, new lens does its stuff. Wish I could hold the camera straighter though, had to correct a fair bit in post.

Couple of favourites, I liked the Samba girl in the green, in the first set, she was really cute, great costume and posed nicely too. The other stand out was the guy in the white fishnet and union jack thong  leaping, a little faster shutter speed and some sunshine and it would have been an epic shot, but it still the shot that sort of sums up Pride for me.

Parades move one and its lunch time now, let go get chips on the pier. Get a few shots of the crowd and the scenery on the way

On they way a group of Chinese/Japanese (can’t tell) girls ask if they can have there photo taken with me, gawd do I look that draggy? I just point my big camera at one of them and shoot her instead, she giggles nooo.  Don’t suppose they where being malicious in the least, but I just didn’t really want to think I was pride parade photo material.

On the pier I spend a few frustrating minutes trying to get shots of seagulls flying, the camera in 3d motion tracking mode can get focus, but the lens really isn’t long enough, a few did come close enough but I was to slow to get the camera pointed at them. End up with one shot I like though.

Right that’s enough seagulls. Think about lunch, but then spot a photographer, he’s not doing much and has 2 big Nikons hanging from him (D3’s I think), so I sort of smile and ask him to take my photo, with my cam. He obliges. I have to ask people with SLRs to take my pic, you hand a D700 to someone who only uses compacts and they look at it like its from outer space.

But I dunno about that pic, but its perhaps the light. After he returns my cam, he lifts his own up and asks if he can shoot me with his. Oh erm I guess so, I would have been rude to refuse after that. He uses one of his cams with a little prime lens on it and wants to take a head shot, but he gets very close, less than a foot from my nose, too close perhaps. I’m slightly uncomfortable at that, not sure it was really necessary and surely a full body shot would been better?  Still I should be more comfortable around cameras shouldn’t I and shouldn’t fear them pointed at me as I do it to other people (just not so close)

Get my fish and chips on the pier and eat them from the box as I head back into town Fish and chips are both a tad dry, but not unpleasant. Across a little green with a fountain in it, I can see the parade again, it must of looped through town and is now heading towards the Preston park. Decide I’ll follow it up, but finish the chips first and take a shot of the fountain.

Crowd is thick and there’s no way I can get to the front so I track the parade taking pot shots when I can. Since it stops so often I’m over taking them.

Right about here there should be the pictures of this bit, but er I forgot to put them on Flickr for some reason, Doh!

As we near the park the sky has gone very grey now and the rain is spitting, but still the party mood is there and the crowd as full and as happy as ever.

Since I got here with the parade, the park is only fairly busy, not heaving and the ground is firm enough under foot (even for my boots with a modest heel) have a wander around looking for stuff and to see anyone I know. Point the camera at the odd interesting face while I’m at it.

But I can’t see anyone I really know, T-dar had been pinging more the last couple of years and there was actually a couple of people (vague acquaintances) I recognised actually in the parade, but still I can’t see anyone. Also a lot of stuff hasn’t started yet, the Cabaret tent is quiet and I don’t fancy the fun fair anyway, so instead I find a bar.

There’s a little place toward the top right of the park, not sure exactly what it was called, but it did have a lot of umbrellas and signs for Langhams Champagne and curiously a little wedding chapel, think It had a sort of Vegas theme going on (where as the main Pride theme was nautical, lots of sailors and pirates abound).  It’s not that full, and they don’t just do champagne, so have another little glass of wine and look for somewhere to sit.

Hey I think I recognise you… Yes you where are the Spectrum Picnic weren’t you. It’s the totally passable (inc voice) young TS I met at the picnic, from Peterborough, she remembers me to, though we have both forgotten each others names. After this admission, “Hi I’m Helena”, “I’m Jemma and this is Lucy”. I think it was Jemma anyway and Lucy was a friend with her I don’t think I’d met before, they’ed both driven down from Peterborough (!) that day and planned to camp overnight.

Well they had a some seats in a little tent near the bar and so I stopped to talk and finish my wine. Gawd I’m being almost sociable, what ever next. Still I’m a bit awkward and  so Jemma does most of the talking, turns out she’s a “bit” of a geek

Multitasking as we talk, I try to text Louise, as I said would when I was in the park, but perhaps I got the wrong number of something, text fails to go the first time them, I think it went out. But I get no reply, Lou told me on Facebook afterwards she didn’t receive it.

After a bit I say bye to Jemma and Lucy, well I though I would have another try at finding Louise (and Saffy) but as I start to wander, the rain starts to come down, 5 minutes later and it’s a down pour, I hide in another (very full) bar tent and pack the camera away safe. As I’m doing this I overhear a couple of lads laughing at “All the gays getting wet”. What, sad, and what are they even doing at an event like pride if they are homophobic? And er straight people get wet in the rain too you know. Actually I’d noticed and others had pointed it out that there is actually a huge straight contingent at Brighton Pride, I think its just the party atmosphere, pretty much everyone comes down for a good time, the vast majority have no problem with it all, esp teenage-20 something girls all dressed up and out to have a laugh, but then thing is and where the girls go, the beer’ed up lads follow, even if they aren’t exactly the most open minded. Canal Street in Manchester seems to have the same problem.

Rain slows a little and this beer tent is to full anyway, pop my brolly (and I’m glad I went with the jacket and hat now too) have another little loop around the stands then walk back up towards the bar I was at.

Get another glass of wine (Oh nice, the Rose is White Zinfadel, I love that stuff, it tastes of strawberries) Jemma and Lucy are still there but they have company, everyone is sheltering from the rain and a little group develops in the tent, covering the pretty much whole GBLT spectrum. We make small talk sheltering from the rain, its nice (though I’m got my usual group interaction problems). I’m offered (and gladly accepted) another glass of wine

But after Jemma and Lucy move on I feel a little awkward (the only T left), and there are people standing, so I let them have the seat and move on. But not far, from the sound of it the Cabaret tent just across the way is up and running, let pop in. Due to the rain I guess, it’s packed, I start at the back, but edge my way to the front.

Pics got better as I moved in and I get my little Abba sing along moment. Fun as it was I’m tired now, been a long day and I am a bit cold and wet. Make my way out of the tent after a half dozen acts. Rain is pretty constant now and I fear the park will become a quagmire, so that and the tiredness means its time to go.

Hunkering down under my brolly I make my way to the edge of the park and the solid pavement, I’m not the only one doing it to, there’s quite a few people leaving. Just go along with the crowd, ignore the bus and walk it back the way I came. I said people where leaving, but there seems to be an almost equal number of brave people still heading to the park, rain doesn’t stop play.

Plan one was to stop in a nearby pub to dry and warm up, can’t all the pubs are packed, everyone else had that idea to, better just carry on to the station. As I walk a man puts his arm around me and says how are you doing, I say fine, bemused and look at him, andhe moves on. But then he does it the same thing to a couple of GG’s ahead  if me, before moving on, guess he was just moving from umbrella to umbrella to get out of the rain. But I could of spooked him, guess half my make up had washed off by now. Duck into the first shop I reckon will have mirrors, Peacocks as it happens. Do have a look at a few clothes, but mostly just touch up my slap and brush my hair in a mirror. Face wasn’t as bad as I feared, just a little had come off my nose, probably rubbed off on the camera. Just using the mirrors and not buying was a little cheeky I guess, but I’ve bought loads from Peacocks over the years and was even wearing one of their tee shirts that day.

This is the turn to the station isn’t it, remember it from last year, steep hill, being turned into a stream by the rain. Am getting quite tired now. Look at one nice warm looking pub offering veggie food, no too full. But there’s a Italian cafe place nearly opposite and a nice slice of hot pizza instead helps. Finally get to the station, better pop to the loo again before the journey home. There’s still a queue, but its short and well organised, don’t have to wait long.

Right next train is in 9 minutes, just enough time, am still hungry, so pop into M&S for a snack, stuff for tea and er another little bottle of wine (that would make it 5 small glasses all day honest). By the time I’m out of there there’s only 4 minutes left, so jump on the train as quickly as I can.

No seats, full train (guess the rain has shortened many peoples day) bah, some people do seem to be using them for bags though, but I’m not brave enough to ask them to move them and just stand by the door. Karma will have to sort of those people with bags on the seats. Perhaps some will get off at Croydon, so pop in the head phones and eat my snacks.

Train moves off on time, but 30 odd minutes later and no one gets of at Croydon Finally get a seat at Clapham. For a whole 5 minutes, then the train pulls into Victoria.

Trudge wearily across the concourse to the bus station and flop into a seat on the 38. Another slow bus ride across town with a change and finally back at the flat where I eat and drink for comfort more than necessity before crashing. An exhausting day, been out for 11 hours, a lot of those on my feet, quite a few in the rain, but all in all, still enjoyable, Brighton Pride has got a great atmosphere, its one big free party which almost the whole town joins in. London feels stilted and controlled, a bit artificial and corporate with to much politicking going one behind the scenes, it just doesn’t have Brighton’s buzz and sheer glee, that’s what make Brighton Pride in the rain so much better than London Pride in the sunshine.

Sunday, sleep, sort pictures out, eat, sleep, watch telly, sleep. About the only constructive thing I did all day was sewn on some white ribbons onto a hat. Why, well I’ll tell you next week.

Monday and I’m up, not feeling to tired now, the suns out, the trains on time, there’s two friendly cats on the way to work who want a fuss and a pretty girl on a bike smiles my way (well sort of looks my way anyway) as she passes, its going to be a good day I think to my self as I walk up the stairs to my department. Then I realised I’d left my work laptop at home, Oh Bugger

Next week : The dandy highway woman rides again…