Got what will probably be my last ever big bonus from work during the week, it put my savings up to the point where I always said I would start looking for a flat. Well I have, sort of, hoping to see if I can get one of those part buy/part rent places, as the other options are a huge mortgage (and now I’m over 40 I can’t get a 25 year one anymore) or a shoebox in an urban warzone, if I want to stay in London. But I do want to stay in London and live somewhere cool to boot, but not pay a fortune, but the reality is I’ll probably have to pick 2 out of those 3.

But I had a little over from the bonus for stuff, and blew it on a lens. I really perhaps should of bought a PC instead, but the lens called to me, a Nikon 24-70 f2.8, OK I have a Sigma 24-70 2.8 already, but that’s never impressed me that much and its pretty soft wide open. The Nikon is a full pro spec lens (with the price tag to match) that has the reputation of being absolutely razor sharp even wide open, is built like an artillery piece and focuses faster than a speeding bullet. So I now have the full pro spec kit, the D700, the grip, the 24-70, trouble is now I can never blame the camera for a poor image can I. Also the other down side if the weight, OMFG that lot is heavy, feels like a couple of kilos, I dunno how I’m going to mange shooting for any period of time with it and my scrawny arms. Since I have all the kit now, anyone need an event or wedding photographer Also anyone want to buy a Sigma 24-70mm f2.8 and a Sigma 24mm f1.8, going cheep ?

But that’s was the week, this is the weekend and er nothing is on, oh, I suppose after the last 3 weeks I could do with a little rest but well no, I felt a little bit of a loss of what to do. Shopping I suppose, there’s a few things I need (need being subjective), oh and there’s that new film Moon I want to see, and I could have a peek at a flat or something, yeah that’s enough I suppose, might be a bit lonely though.

Since it wasn’t a plan with strict timings, I had a bit of lie in on Saturday, then a long bathe and shave, mange not to cut myself for a change. Got dressed as far as underwear (all black) and went to look for outerwear, but as I was sorting through, well not quite sure what came over me, on went some stay ups, then some heels and then a corset and the big hair and just sort of had a bit of me time in my flat, because, er I don’t know, but it felt nice (as nice as a fully done up corset can be anyway), I can be such a TV at times. Had no makeup on and no pictures where taken, but I feel a proper lingerie photoshoot isn’t that far off.

After that little moment, change into day clothes, greeny grey tee got last week, with a black cardi, denim shorts (bit too tight), cropped leggings and gold flats with a touch of bling. Bit teenage, but should be warm/cool (rain and sun was forecast) and not to attention seeking (leggings and cardi’s have strange powers). Did cardi up as it made it look like my waist was more nipped than it actually is.

Make up goes on easily and I’m ready. Should of really done a shoot with the new lens and all, but the flat was a bit of a mess and time was getting on, so just made do with a hand held shot with the G9.

Hair was the neatest it was all day. Pack up, decide to take G9 instead of the bazooka and off into oh sunshine

Walk over to Dalston in the sun, well I wanted some tee shirts, plus there was a flat in the area I wanted to see. It’s nice in the sunshine, perhaps I should of put sunblock on? But the wind, the hair won’t stay out of my face, I really need to look into hair accessories and/or hair spray to keep it under control.

Find a pink tee in Peacocks, good, but want a red one as well, but they don’t have one. They do have a white one with a girl on the front with the lettering “Love Rocks” all over it, well of course she does have to get that to.

Over the road to the shopping centre, look around a few places, nothing grabs, no red tee shirts either. As I leave Shoe Zone a large man gets a good look at my face and exclaims “What the Fuck!” loudly, he wanders off muttering, about that being a bloke Damm thought I was doing OK up to that.

What next then, well there was that flat, and its lunch time, plus I a small rather weird shopping list of things that I could probably only find in Camden to buy. But one of the stalls in the shopping centre caught my eye, it was selling cheep costume jewellery and a large sliver(coloured) and black(plastic) ring stood out, it was just right for an outfit I’m planning (fitted to), yes I’ll have that. Five pounds says the stall holder (bit over priced me thinks), I give him the cash and he packs the ring in a little bag and says “Thank you Darling”. A Darling made up for the WTF earlier.

Right just find that flat now, well er not exactly a flat, more like a large block of them, the new Dalston square development, I spot it, but with all the construction and closed roads around there due to the construction of the new tube station, I can’t see how to get to it, keep walking down the road to see if I can loop around. But down the road is the is the other place I wanted to see, the Haggerston pub, as its got a bit of a reputation as a cool venue, like the Superstore, and wondered if it did food. No I don’t think it did food, didn’t actually look up to much and I wasn’t even sure it was open, so I decided to look elsewhere. But the road it was on the corner off did look like it would take me back to the flats.

It did and there was an open marketing suite in the development.

But when I asked about part buy part rent the estate agent said that scheme had finished for them and what was left was being handled by a third party. Checking the 3rd parties web site it looked like they only have 3 & 4 bedroom places left Still in half a mind whether I would want to live there anyway, its is still bit of a building site, and the tube station won’t be open for a year or two and Dalston although up and coming is still rather rough and do I want to live in a tower block? But then it is getting better and living a stones through from a tube station is always handy (and great for property prices) when its built. Hrmmm, keep looking I think.

Leave the block and head back to the overground station, finding I actually could of got though from this side. But on the way I found a couple of odd little places. The first was the “Dalston Mill”, which as far as the interweb tells me is “EXYZT are putting the finishing touches to their latest London project, The Dalston Mill, an off-site extension of the Barbican’s Radical Nature exhibition.” With an actual Mill, a bakery, small wheatfield (yes a field of wheat growing in Hackney) and a bar. Its some sort of art installation come creative space come bar thingy. Interesting, for about 5 minutes if you aren’t drinking.

Round the next corner on side street and there’s a café of sorts, Café Oto. Its in what looks like the ground floor of an old factory, with just a counter, a kitchen and some tables and chairs. Bit rough and ready, but sort of arty cool too. Its about half full of youngish people, some eating and drinking, others hunched over Mac Books, others with young children. I’m hungry by now, the food range isn’t great, but ah ha a huge cheese and piccalilli sandwich, looks lovely (I really like piccalilli), and they have cold beer on tap too right lunch here.

Interesting place, looks like them have bands on the evening too, could do with some more sofa’s though IMHO. Another sign of the hip young things moving in to the area too, at the rate its going it will get too cool for old farts like me.

Right lunch and flat hunting done, lets get to Camden. Shopping list included a pair of circular mirrored sunglasses, a fishnet body stocking, white lace cuffs, a tricorn hat and if I could find them, a pair of MAC-10’s (or perhaps Desert Eagles). Hrrmm need loo roll too. Normal everyday stuff, for me Well with the Festival of Sins coming up I wanted to get out that highway woman outfit again, think I mentioned that last week. Well the larger skirt I ordered arrived and it fits easily (so much so perhaps I could of gone with large instead of xtra large) but thinking about the out it I reckoned it could do with more accessorising, a traditional highwayman’s (womans?) tricon hat, counter pointed with mirrored sunglasses was the idea and since I was going to wear a short sleeve blouse underneath the lace cuffs would add some extra flounce The black and silver ring got earlier was also part of the design. The MAC-10’s, well a highway woman needs weapons to do hold ups doesn’t she and I thought little the smg’s would look right, but only if I could find some really cheap toy ones, if not I could fall back on the toy pistols I used in my Laura croft shoot.

The fishnet body stocking wasn’t for this out fit, that’s for the Magic Theatre, to go with that “Russian” outfit I wore at the Festival of sins, you see I was never happy with the separate fishnet stop and tights, the gauge of the net didn’t match and it looked odd. I figured if I got a one piece it would all match better. Am I going to be able to fit into a one piece bodysuit designed for the average female frame though?

Get to Camden, first stop bank (why do people queue outside when there are machines inside?) then the Cinema. Next showing of moon is on a 3:40, that gives me an hour and a half, right lets get shopping.

Do my usual tour of the markets and fancy dress places, even more bits have opened since the last time I was here, which is nice, but the sunshine has brought out the crowds, not so nice, can be hard to move at any reasonable pace, hey move it, T-girl on a mission against a deadline here people.

There’s a body stocking, hrmm not sure, maybe a little low at the front. Hrm’s there’s a hat, no don’t like the red ribbons and gold trim, 1st Gothic Lolita place hasn’t got any white lace and there are 537 shops that are selling sun glasses but no circular ones i sight, could I go with aviators?

Need the loo, new bit of market has new loos, wasn’t expecting much but no its clean and modern, and gives me another opportunity to try and tame my hair. Don’t appear to get a 2nd glance.

Another place with sun glasses, but whats this, yes, circular mirrored sun glasses, £5 and another Darling, result and the next Gothic Lolita place has the perfect white lace cuff glove thingy’s too. Have a little tour of the new bits of the market before heading towards the fancy dress shop, the dancers in Cyber Dog are cute today.

Hair is starting to be a pain now, it won’t stay in place and my feet are protesting, but I’m only wearing flats, what gives feet? Yes they have a tricon in the fancy dress shop and it’s cheap to. But it is pretty nasty, doesn’t fit well and I don’t like the trim, um er, leave shop, then go back, try on again and er, no, not right. Also no MAC-10’s either, they do have Uzi’s though, but they are not pound shop cheap and aren’t quite right. Leave unarmed and hatless.

Time is getting on, come one people, move. Go back to the stall where I saw the first hat, hrm, more expensive, but its so much better made (It’s actually a Leg Avenue “Sexy Pirate” hat) and first properly. But still has gold trim and red ribbons which don’t match the outfit, well I could photoshop the trim and remove the ribbons. But actually when I tried it on at home with the outfit later, the trim works and I like the ribbons, but they have to be white, so better get to the market and get some then.

Head back to the first stall with the body stocking, but remember another place on the way, just check and oh ues, that’s the one, a high neckline crotchless fishnet catsuit, just the ticket, and cheaper too (fits too as I found out at home, fishnet has a lot of stretch). Right shopping done, work my way though the throng to the cinema with a minute to spare and settle in to watch the film (after another loo stop to try and get the hair out of my face).

Moon is a fairly small, lowish budget SF film, with a distinctly retro feel (it’s a sort of homage to 70-80’s SF films) , with a very small cast, low budget (5 million) mostly practical effects and no explosions. Its got a bit of the same sort of feeling as Silent Running, with perhaps some 2001, and perhaps Outland and even Alien thrown in, it doesn’t feel cheap and low budget either, the effects are mostly believable (except the lack of lunar gravity inside the base) and the performances top notch. Yeah I liked it a lot, the simple and clean but also claustrophobic and paranoid, the plot twist is a bit easy to spot for a Sci fi fan I suppose, but never the less just let it carry you along. Recommended for sci fi nerds and film fans in general, but if you want a summer action block buster, look elsewhere.

After the cinema it’s another loo break, mostly to sort out the hair though.

It getting on for dinner time, suppose I better get to the supermarket, go to M&S as they have the £10 deal on again, but there’s not a lot left of that by then, oh, so just get veggie ready meals and some Sangria instead (and forgot the loo roll) and then back to the station. The train pulls in to the platform the minute I arrive and there’s even a free seat.

Back home with my dinner and wine, so put the feet up and watch a DVD. No, I feel a bit lonely actually and it’s a lovely evening. Check the forums, hrmm Papillion is on tonight, its never made it as a proper dancy night club night has it, not enough people turning up, but its sort of morphed into an informal gathering in the restaurant above the Central Station bar, better for talking and chatting, plus its free now as they don’t have to rent the basement club. I’ve eaten, but I could go along for a drink and a chat I suppose and there’s a cabaret in the main bar to watch later. Hey they usually go on the to Way Out afterward as well it seems, could be plan?

Touch up face, turns into a major repowdering job, end up overdoing the shading a bit change shoes to, those gold flats have left blisters on my toes cover them with plasters and change into my more comfortable black flats.

Back into the world, it is a nice warm summers evening, tube isn’t running, but even with the blisters the walk down Upper Street towards Kings Cross is pleasant, the suns going down and the Saturday night party crowds are coming out to play. Young man tells me “Be happy Honey” as I pass him, guess I have my usual scowl on my face, but no I wasn’t actually feeling that bad really, honest.

Sun sets over Chapel market, not the most scenic of locations, but worth a photo.

The downstairs bar of Central Station is pretty empty, doesn’t look good, but I get a drink a head up stairs, ah there’s a few familiar faces, the Cheerleader girl (who I finally learn is called Emma), that girl from the Priscilla night (who is also an Emma), think I recognise her as well, not sure of the name and there’s Christina (hey I have that top) out on the terrace. They have found a couple of guys to talk too as well, seems they came up cause downstairs was so quiet. A few people do recognise me and don’t seem to mind me pulling up a chair.

Most people where just finishing dinner as I arrived, had already eaten myself, but when the desert menu came around I was tempted, home made ice cream you see, rum and raison and very nice it was too

We move inside after desert, well it was getting colder. Cameras come out, my pictures aren’t worth keeping though (and everyone’s pictures of me had to be deleted, I looked awful). Think Papillion works better this way, a sit down, a chat and a meal with a small group is better than a mostly empty night club with no one dancing.

The Cabaret act arrives and so we have to go back to the main bar, the upstairs was now her dressing room. Downstairs had filled up a bit by now but we find a table and two more t-girls.

Our performer for the night is Miss Lola Lasagne, a Drag Queen from Brighton who has been in the business for 20 years. She’s good, mixture of comedy and singing, proper singing, not lip sync and funny too, goes down well with everyone. Need to shave the arms though (meow-bitch). She’ll be at Brighton Pride.

Worth the walk I think But getting towards midnight now, and I don’t think I can make the Way Out, say my good byes and head home. No tube and no direct bus, so walking again. Need to walk off the ice cream anyway.

Walk off the ice cream? Well I suppose I might of, but calorie management was ruined cause I stopped at a Kebab shop for chips on Pentonville road Guy behind the counter says it will be 3 minutes for chips as he has to start a fresh batch, so I find a table and read a paper that was lying there. There’s a bit of a geezer in the place, well a young wannabee geezer who thinks he’s all that and boasts of his earnings (10k a week, yeah right kid), think he spots me and goes off in a piss take of some sort, something about being a real man in a sarcastic tone of voice, which he finds hilarious. Again I’m not sure if I’m even the target, just keep my head down. Chips are ready, I pay up and the kebab shop man wishes me good night, he was perfectly polite.

Walk home with no hassle apart from that, well I ha a guy leaning out of passing van giving me the thumbs up and two girls who wanted directions to the Elbow Room (it’s a pool club in Islington). Thought about dropping into Club de Fromage for a moment, but no, get home, tired.

For a quiet one it was actually a pretty full day and it was nice to see and talk for a bit instead of just shopping.

Sunday, back to Ian, lie in a bit as I have a bit of a headache (hangover?), manage to do the laundry and pop into the West End for some blot powder (replace the shattered compact from last week) in the spitting rain. Helena comedown felt worse than usual, don’t know why

Next week is Brighton pride, the best pride, I’m going, you?

Short week, off on Friday again, but hey that’s my summer holiday - a few long weekends, and now it’s all gone

Only thing planned for Friday was a meal in evening, so took it easy, took ages to get ready, played with a few outfits, dressing up ones and finding the right one to go out in. Found I really don’t fit that highway woman PVC thingy properly anymore well I can still wear the jacket, just, though buttoning it up over boobs ain’t going to work, but the matching skirt is just too small and that s a problem, I can get it on, and pull it down as far as I can, but even then it only just covers the bits and it would ride up immediately if I moved, plus it wasn’t at all comfortable But even though it’s a fairly specialist item from a 2007 collection, the Google fairy tells me there’s a shop in Scotland which claims to still have it in stock in bigger sizes. I’ll just have to place an order and see, I do so want to wear that outfit to the festival of Sins in August.

Back to the plot, ended up in a black tee, black leggings, denim mini and a new taupe cardi (Primark), thought about going with cropped leggings and flats, but then the rain started, so full length leggings and boots it is. Hair, OK lets try the new hair again, hrrm seems to work, even for daylight, but I dunno, it won’t stay like that will it, and a lot of it finds its way into my face. Did makeup, as minimal as possible as an experiment, think it looked OK, to start with…

Took a while to get the lights right for that one. Must of gone 12 before I’m out, plan for the rest of the day, er lunch, and the cinema I think, found a cinema that I haven’t been to before so decided to go an have a look, but it’s a while before the film starts. Cinema is near Brick lane, so tube it to Old Street and decided to drift around Shoreditch for a bit to pass the time.

Out the tube station, slightly disorientated, get wrong exit, back into the station to the right one, passing interesting looking soup place on the way Nin Com Soup. I was hungry, it was way past lunch time and the menu sounded interesting, so instead of going to a bar and ordering wine and something with chips like I usually do, I had soup. Well that skirt no longer fitting reminded me I wasn’t as thin as I used to be Actually I rather liked it, had a sort of vegetable chilli cheese soup, which with a little (still warm) bread, was quite filling too.

Right souped up now lets get on, out the right exit and into Shoreditch. Sun had come out and I wandered out just going where the wind took me, pointing the camera at anything interesting looking. I had the wide angle lens on it so the perspectives are a little freaky.

Around a few shops, mostly ludicrously trendy and expensive shoes and clothes shops, not to buy, just to gawp. They wouldn’t have my size anyway, especially in shoes. Check face in the mirror, oh that’s not good

Make my way around to Bethnal Green Road abd the cinema with plenty of time. Actually it doesn’t look like a trad cinema, and it’s not a chain, its more like a sort of Art space, with a cinema, stage, café, bar, exhibition area etc called RichMix

Kinda interesting place, so what was I going to see, so edgy alternative thought provoking piece of experimental art cinema? Nah, the new Harry Potter. The films on where all mainstream really. Was a few minutes early, so had a coffee and a cookie in the café first.

It’s a long film, but then again it’s a long book. I think the 1st four harry Potter Films weren’t as good as the books, but as the books go down hill esp 6 & 7, the films have, curiously, got better, I liked 5, but this was probably the best. Does suffer a few odd moments where things are not explained that well as they have tried to shove in as much as they can in the runtime, but apart from that I think it’s the best in series. It’s shot almost like a horror movie, all gothic and shadowy, but with a good deal of teen angst and awkwardness thrown in. The big ending would be a bigger shock if you hadn’t read the books though. Essential film if you are following the series.

Not a bad cinema really, price isn’t bad, neither is the location, screens OK, but perhaps the seats could do with a little more legroom.

Film was long, past 4 when I got out, have to use the ladies, but there’s no problem. In fact so far so good today, seems I’m almost invisible even though I don’t look my best.

Had arranged to meet at 7-7:30 in a pub in Stoke Newington before the meal, so still had some time to kill. Brick Lane, yeah why not. Amble along looking at what’s to be seen and usually pointing my camera at it.

Some say Shoreditch is a bit over trendy wise, hrrmm I’m not sure, perhaps it just got to popular and expensive for the young, achingly hip and usually penniless types. Still there’s enough to see. There’s a lot more vintage clothing shops here than I remember. They are often interesting to browse in, but well I never seem to be able to find buy in them, plus they usually smell slightly musty. Business doesn’t appear to be booming for them though, I reckon the market is slightly over supplied. I don’t see that many people wearing vintage clothes on a regular basis, even around here.

But there’s this and that, James Dean look-a-like lighting a cig in front of a shop called “This shop rocks” (pic didn’t come out), aching trendy guy long boarding down the street, jazz band playing under the bridge, all sorts really.

Though one person didn’t like me taking photo’s, inside a little indoor market, there’s various clothing/record/art/junk stalls. One junk (very random junk) stall catches my eye and I line a up a shot, but before I take it a man approaches me, “Excuse me photography person”. Basically he didn’t like the idea of me taking a picture of his stall, and felt I should of asked permission before even attempting to point a camera at it. I left the market immediately, not wanting to cause a fuss. In my defence, the stuff was out in the open, there where no “No Photography” signs and it was just junk, nothing really of any value, hey on a Sunday there’s a 100 people selling this sort of stuff in the street markets anwyay, so its not like it’s a new and original idea that needs guarding. Some people just get very anal about photo’s, but in my (possibly a minority one) view if something’s out in public, it can be seen by all, so what harms a photo? Anyway that left me feeling a little sour, but then again at least he didn’t use male pronouns.

Moved on towards Spittlefields, which was mostly closing by now, so carried on towards the city, still taking snaps.

Must have been getting on towards 6 now, so went to find a bus towards Stoke Newington, as it will take a while to get there. It doesn’t, by the time I’m in Dalston, its only 6:15, far too early. So I jump off and hit the shops.

Get 2 basic tees and Peacocks (white and grey/brown ish, should of got a pink one) and over the road to the little shopping centre. Most of that was closing, but Matalan was still open, so I waste some time in there. Nothing is grabbing me in the clothes section, but some of the shoes are maybes, but maybe not, bit tight.

Catch a view of my face in a mirror, oh, not good. Makeup was fading and my chin and lip where starting to show some blue grey shadow, yikes How can I meet the other looking this awful. Think about finding a loo I can use to fix my face in, but oh of course, the ladies changing rooms, grab something that looks like I could wear and walk towards them. 1 Item to try on I say and the bored looking sales assistant waves me in.

Don’t try the item on, but do make good use of the privacy and the nice big well lit mirror. Touch up face with the powder I have on me, its just an emergency repair, result is er not great, but at least my chin isn’t blue/grey anymore. Brush hair too, never miss an opportunity to brush your hair. Finish up and start to pack the stuff away, but as I do sort of knock something and my makeup goes flying, blot power compact hits the floor and the pressed powder shatters and goes all over the floor and my mirror and studio fix powder is no where to be seen Well the blot was 75% used anyway, clean up the mess a bit and recover the container. But where’s the other bits? Find them in the next cubicle (which is fortunately empty) and they are still in one piece, phew. Leave Matalan sharpish.

Well that did waste a little time, as I leave the shopping centre the rain starts up. Remembered the brolly this time though. Visit a cash machine then go find a bus up to Stokie, I wasn’t walking in the rain and my right foot was starting to hurt to, ouch, these boots are usually comfortable.

Off bus just before the pub, might of got a comment from some people in a shop as I passed, dunno, maybe, but well its been a good day so far. Pub is busy, bit too busy and oh there’s a band setting up, normally a like band in a pub, but if you want to chat, it’s not ideal. Busy, well yes it was full of the people, but none I was planning to meet, guess I was early. Barmaid is very cheery and smiley and serves me a glass of wine with a Darling and I manage to bag a table. Table is a bit close to the band though and the lights poor, since I was alone in the pub I felt I had to look busy, lucky I had a book with me, poor light made it a bit hard to read though, but on the other hand, it made me harder to see, manky face and silly hair and what with.

Send texts, drink my wine and read my book. Get replies people are on there way, but its still quite a while before I see anyone in the bar, have to nurse the rosé. But then I spot them, all at once, Jess, Clarissa, Mercia and a couple of people I haven’t met before. We move away from the band which has started playing.

The reason for the meet up and stuff was just a suggestion on a thread in Angels, possible curry night, well we do meals out, but it was felt we should leave Soho and the west end behind and go somewhere a little more, er, ordinary. Someone else recommended an Indian chain called Rasa and since there was one in Stoke Newington , which definitely isn’t in Soho, (though the rate the area is gentrifying it might be like it in a few years) I put its name forward. The fact that this was in walking distance of my flat had nothing to do with it We arranged to meet at the nearby pub (the 3 Crowns, because it was nearby, and I’d been here before) at 7:30 and eat at 8. Well it was nearly 8 now, so lets go, but well it turns out we had booked the wrong restaurant. You see there are actually 2 Rasa’s in Stoke Newington, opposite each other, one is pure veggie and the other does meat as well. We planned to go to the meat one, as the rest of the gang eat meat, but there was a booking mix up and we ended up at the veggie one. No worries for me, but the others where a touch disappointed (no I wasn’t doing the booking, honest).

We leave the pub and huddle under brollies to get to the Restaurant. The meat one opposite looks half empty so we ask if we can change the booking. We can’t and get shown a small table in the back. It’s a bit of a squeeze, but the place is pretty full.

Rasa is definitely not your standard flock wallpaper piped sitar music chicken tikka masala curry house. most of the group (Sophia, Clarissa, Jess, Merica and Vicky) don’t really know what to eat and even I’m struggling a little, trying to avoid dishes with coconut (90% of them) so in the end we all order the set “Feast” set meal to simplify it all.

We talk, we eat, we drink. I’m left to order the wine (there’s only 2 of us drinking it anyway), waiter calls me “Sir” twice in the process, so I tell him “It’s not Sir” (am not usually confident enough to do this, but I had backup with me this time), he is a little bemused by this but doesn’t sir me again.

Actually I quite like the food, the coconut is present but subtle and the spicing not overpowering. Bread is good too. But I’m easily pleased, bread and curry sauce and I’m happy. The others are not as impressed, either with the quality or the quantity, Clarrisa intended to get a sandwich on the way home. We won’t be returning. The service doesn’t impress the others either, when we get the bill, they cross out the service charge, we put down cash for the rest and leave sharpish. I’ve never had the courage to not pay a service charge before, in fact I wasn’t sure you even could refuse it. We definitely won’t be coming back, but they probably wouldn’t let us in even if we wanted to.

Well, restaurant aside, I thought it was a good night, lovely to meet friends old and new, lets do it again next month, but perhaps somewhere else. Point the others towards the buses and head home through the night, there’s a couple of pubs to pass by, with crowds of smokers outside, but head down, walk fast and there’s no trouble. Ah home, boots off, feet up. Ooohhhh I’ve got two blisters on my right foot

Saturday, usual girl day, so I’m doing girl as usual. Bathe and shave (not to painful) but don’t go further. Today was the Spectrum Picnic in Hyde Park, so I wanted to do some baking before hand, that could get messy so probably best done in Ian mode. Bought most of everything I needed on Thursday night, but had to pop out for fresh bread and salad on Saturday. Cept the shops hadn’t opened yet (wot its like 8:20 am, what are you playing at shops), back to the flat and put the first lot of muffins (blueberry) in instead. Only after I’d put them in did I look at the packet the stuff came in and found out I should of added 30mil of oil to the mixture. Doh! Not a lot I could do about it now, go out and get the fresh bread.

Should of perhaps taken them out a minute earlier, but they look mostly OK. After they cool a bit it’s the moment of truth…. Ohhh nice, sweet, warm and moist, didn’t need that oil after all. Don’t you just love fresh baked muffins. Mix up the stuff for the chocolate ones, which don’t need oil and pop them in. Tested them afterwards as well, just as good as the blueberry ones, Bettie Crocker FTW.

Dress and makeup, go with the denim mini (different one from Friday), cropped leggings and flats this time, there is some sunshine, but rain was forecast for latter, decide to hell with it, dress for sunshine. Put on a tee and a shirt over the top, tee is the wrong colour, should be pink, haven’t go a plain pink tee, dam, improvise, find a pink vest and wear it backwards so the neck line is high, my chest hasn’t heeled enough from the last time to do low cut. Guess it works OK. Do makeup heavier this time and back on with the usual hair. fasten the overshirt at the waist to try and make it look more nipped, but it doesn’t help much, I look pretty straight up and down

Still have more picnic stuff to do, make sandwiches with the new Lily Allen CD on in the background, feeling oh so girly. So how am I going to get this all to the picnic, I’ve got loads of sarnies, 10 muffins, crisps, two bottles of wine, paper plates, blanket and all sorts. Look for my Tupperware, but can’t find the big one and the muffins won’t fit in the little ones I manage to locate. Right off to the shops again, well it will road test the outfit as well. Find some Tupperware type boxes and some plastic glasses in a local shop, no one appears to look twice at me, but I guess they know me around here by now.

Pack it all up, I’m a bit early, so just waste a little time on facebook, suppose I could of done photo’s, but figure I enough will be taken at the picnic.

Get the Piccadilly line to South Ken, its rather warm on the tube and walk to the park is not that easy since the bag is heavy, but It will hopefully be lighter on the journey home.

Pass someone I don’t recognise going into the park who pings the T-Dar, not sure if she’s here for the event or what (She joined us later but I didn’t get a name). But there’s the spot, and there’s Denise, Mercia Christina and Jess already they and the sun is just peaking through the clouds. Spread out my blanket and open the wine, picnic on

More and more people turn up, a few I recognise and recognised me, Dawn, Diana, Mair, Jenny, Lexy, Chrissie, Stephanie etc. Lovely to meet you all again. Do actually manage to talk to a few people, inc new ones, don’t clam up as much as usual. In the end 50 people turned up, which is a good turn out I think, a few more than last year to. But I have too note, though Spectrum is technically supports the whole TG “Spectrum”, 90% of the people who did turn up where MtF Transsexual. When the conversation turned to surgery, hormones, appointments, funding etc. (as it usually does when there are 2 or more TS in one place) I was unable to contribute. Did feel a little in the minority at times, so come on weekend princesses, join us next time?

Food, well I made to many sandwiches, plus crisps, muffins etc so was quite full, but everyone seemed to bring too much food too (including about a thousand packets of Jaffa Cakes) we all where stuffed. Managed to force my muffins down a few peoples throats, only had to take a couple home. And I did bring 2 bottles of wine, some was shared but most found its way into me, was a touch wobbly by mid afternoon.

And as usual at a TG gathering, the cameras came out

I’ve seen some of the pics of me that other people took on Face book, sob, I’m a) always looking at my camera, b) twice the size of everybody else

Other bad sides to the picnic, well I did find out my leggings and my blanket where incompatible, leggings had loads of bits of fluff on them by the end of the day.

Time went, quite quickly really, must have been having fun, and the sun managed to shine for most of it, but by about 6 people where saying good bye and moving on, home, to the cinema or the more cultured among us, to the Proms. But there was a small hardcore who wanted to carry on. But not in the park, as it was just starting to rain and get colder. So where, er a pub we agreed was probably the best place, but where’s the nearest pub. People look at me, cause I’m local. But er I’m not that local and to be honest, didn’t have a clue. There certainly wasn’t any in the immediate vicinity, but I guess there must be one near the tube station, there’s always a pub near a tube station, isn’t there? Knew there where shops and restaurants and stuff near South Kensington station, so I hoped there would be a pub. So about a dozen of us packed up and marched off down exhibition road under brollies, with me in front. Yikes.

Young female tourist stops me and asks directions to the tube, I tell her its back the way she came and she heads back towards it. She runs. Don’t know if it was me or rain.

But we all appear to be in good spirits (wine had been flowing) and the rain stops too. Get to the tube station, er no pubs in sight, oh dear, er round this corner? Can’t see one, ask a woman working in a sandwich bar if there’s a pub nearby, round the corner she says. So we turn another corner, and relief, there’s a pub. Looks OK, but by then I would of probably walked into a Weatherspoons by then. Think it was called the Hoop & Toy.

Get my round in, tables are a little scarce but we manage to grab one or two and settle in. And settle in we do, more drinks and more talking later and hey where’s the sun’s gone? Bunch of old women we are nattering away, conversation does vary from the light to the quite heavy at times though, both TG and non TG subjects, there are some strong personalities around the table (But I’m not one of them). I eventually leave around 10, but there’s still a group going strong left. Nice pub that and made better by the company. Hope you managed to get to your club OK Jess.

I did sort of have an idea about going to the Gypsy Hotel after the picnic, scratch that, was nearly 11 by the time I got in and well was just that little bit drunk Just went to bed. I had a good day, from what I can tell, others did too.

So that was an Angels dinner, an afternnon in the park and a night out, OMFG its just like Sparkle all over again…

Sunday, well Sparkle nearly 2 weeks on the trot and birthday madness the week before that, I just had about enough energy to watch telly.

Next week should be a quiet one, I need it.

Friday off work, needed it just to sort out stuff, washing, house work, packing etc. Well I suppose I could had a half day, had managed to get the outfits decided on Wednesday night and did the shopping on Thursday after work, bought a new case, some tights and an iPod. Well I always need spare tights, by old case has a wonky wheel and I wanted a bigger one anyway (Helena mode always requires more stuff) and the iPod, well I’ve broken 2 cheap MP3 players over the last 2 years and there shuffle function never worked very well on them either (they always played the songs in the same order) so I though I would get a good one for a change, an 8gb iPod Touch. So I guess I’ve now joined to Pod people and will be wandering along like them, gassy eyed and distracted with white wires coming from the head. Idea was it could be used for email and web browsing as well, and perhaps I can rip a DVD or two down too it as well. But it won’t talk to my PC, arrrgggg, bloody useless USB ports. It does talk to my Netbook though phew, so managed to get a few tunes on to it. Really do need a new PC. Also the iPod headphones don’t fit my left ear, right is fine, but it falls out the left all the time. I must have asymmetrical ear holes (along with the rest of my broken body), so went out and bought new head phones on Friday as well. It’s weird walking around with music on though, its like having a film sound track to your everyday life. Yes I am a bit late to this personal stereo lark.

Forgot to print out my travel details and hotel booking at work before I left, doh, well I’ll just write them down on paper then. This was a mistake.

Broke back molar on a sweet on Thursday night, a chunk of it fell out, urrggg, Not nice, not a good sign either.

Saturday morning, up, 5:30, usual routine, bathe, shave, slap etc. Ready by 9, not bad, just enough to finish packing (well I couldn’t pack my makeup until I’d used it on Saturday morning could I). Check self with final outfit in the mirror. No it’s wrong. It’s that new hair, its well I dunno, too much, to brash, to big and it sits high at the back, not sure I like it, not sure I can go out in it. Change back into old one (which I had washed on Thursday just in case). That’s better, that’s me. Pack new one as a spare. Two loops around the flat have I got everything, ahh yes that, open case, put in, check again, ahh that etc. etc.

But by 10:05 I’m pretty sure I’m done, packed everything inc a small kitchen sink and money, little camera, travel details, keys, Oyster, book, tissues, brolly etc etc. etc. in the new hand bag, last check in the mirror, not looking too hideous, right lets go, let’s go Sparkle!!!!!!!!

Yes that’s what all the fuss was about, Sparkle, the annual TG gathering (i.e. piss up) in Manchester, had been before, 2 years ago, but this time it was a bit different, I’m doing it all girl, no boy time, not even any spare boy clothes packed.

Dam that case is heavy.

Train is at 11, so nearly an hour to get 2 and a half miles to the station, yes about that long, you see the tube was down all weekend and there’s no direct bus. First bus rolls up in 4 minutes, and the connection is waiting for me at the other end, traffic is heavy and the bus packed, but we are going to get there on time As the 73 rolls up to Euston I move towards the door lugging my case an older gentleman offers to help me with it, which is nice, but I decline, figure I’m stronger than him anyway.

Right station, we have plenty of time, just pick up the tickets, I have first class booked and pre paid, woot Insert card into the machine and then it says “Enter booking number”, er what booking number? I don’t remember seeing a booking number, I thought it knew who you where from your credit card?

Oh double shit

The machine won’t give me a ticket without the booking no, which looks like a 10 digit alpha numeric, unguessable. I’m sure I didn’t see the reference on the email receipt. Decide to try to human staff instead, see if they can get me my tickets, walk around to the counter, OMFG the queue is 4 miles long and the train goes in 15 minutes. No way I will even see a member of staff by then and there’s probably nothing they can do anyway. Sod it, go back to the machine and buy a new ticket, that’s £60, £60 down the drain and no first class, sob On the plus side now I suppose my ticket is open off peak return, so I can return any time on Sunday. But still sixty quid is sixty quid. When I was back home on Sunday I checked the email I got from Virgin, and low and behold, there’s the booking number, in BOLD This wouldn’t of been a problem if I’d printed off the email at work.

Grab a sarnie and go find my train. No reserved seat now either, but luck out, there’s a pair in the direction of travel unreserved, mine. Settle in and eat my sandwich spilling cheese on my skirt.

Train departs on time, well we are on our way, thank goodness for small mercies. Train ride isn’t bad really, coach is half empty and the train fast and smooth, helped along by my book, my iPod and a glass of wine from the buffet. Bit warm though, take my jacket off which exposes my blokey shoulders (tee shirt underneath is cap sleeve you see), that makes me more self conscious. But no one seems to notice, no reaction as far as I could tell.

Manchester, 2 minutes early and its not raining, good sign.

Lets find the hotel then, have a little hand drawn map (again I should of printed off a map at work) but street names don’t seem to match up, cross little footbridge which looks like it’s the right way, turn a couple of corners trusting my sense of direction, and ah I recognise that, that’s Canal street, know where I am now.

Couple more streets, passed a group of fairly OTT T-girls and there’s Tranny Towers, Ibis Charles Street. OK nervous now, checking in, as Miss Helena Love, for the first time ever and after the fuck up with the train who knows what could go wrong this time. No worries, nothing does, they have my reservation and its all smooth and smiles. Guy behind the desk is a rather camp, given the location and reputation of this place, I should of expected that.

Room, phew made it at last, in one piece, slightly warm, bit poorer, but one piece. Unpack a little clean up a little and take the obligatory picture.

Room is less suited to photo’s than the Novatel and its hard to get the light right. Perhaps I should of brought a light stand or two? Ok we are getting silly now.

Stuff big cam in the bag and lets go Sparkle proper. New black bag is cavernous and swallows it all, even big cam with the 24-70 f2.8 fitted.

Walk up to Canal street, its nearer than I thought, seeing groups of T-girls on the way, one person says hello, she recognised me from my blog, flickr or something. Urm hello, nice to meet you, stranger, er , it’s all a bit awkward, me having problem interacting with new people et all. This sort of thing happened half a dozen times over the weekend

Wander up canal street, ah someone I recognise, Lucy outside a bar, Churchills I think, stop for a chat. Warm isn’t it, weather forecast was for cold and rain but its turning out sunny, go into the bar for a cold cider, not allowed to take the bottle outside so they poor into in to 2 plastic glasses.

We chat a bit then go our separate ways, I go for a wander in the park looking for photographic targets.

Circulate, do meet several people I’ve met before, a few I’ve only know from forums and again a few people who recognised me from the web. But don’t stay long with many of them, make pleasantries, snap a photo, move one, saves me having to try and make awkward conversation, my usual problem with mouth flapping in large social situations. Hope I didn’t bore anyone to much.

Tis warm isn’t it, sun keeps poking its head out the clouds and the forecasted rain stays away, hooray But the heat gets to me and I wander back over to Canal Street for another drink. Man shouts “You have got more balls than me” from a car as I cross the bridge over the canal, it’s a compliment in an odd way. Thirsty now in the heat, but the bartender in one bar is to busy chatting up a hen party to serve me, so I move on to another one.

What next, well erm, I think I have make sure I know where the restaurant is to for tonight, have been there before, but that was 2 years ago, so I might not find it again in the dark. Also tights, those again, since its warm what I really want is a pair of really thin sheer 7 denier ones to go with my evening outfit, pref sandal toe and sheer to waist and I don’t think any I have with me are quite like that, hrmm Primark? Could do with a packet of Jaffa cakes as well.

Of on my travels, leaving the village into the big bad world in what is a rather short skirt. Find the restaurant, yes that’s where it was 2 years ago. Find a couple of things to point a camera at while I’m here.

Keep on in that direction as I seem to remember, yes there it is, Sainsbury’s, get the Jaffa cakes. Security guy in the store is very polite. Reason for Jaffa cakes, is well because I’d met Dawn earlier, who always seems to bring packet of them to every picnic and the like, but here she didn’t have any as she didn’t bring her cash card with her so I thought I’d buy her a packet.

So I Right so if I follow the tram lines (boarded up under construction tram lines) that way I get to the city centre from here? Yes actually, turns out I remember Manchester city centre quite well. My geographical memory works OK, its people I have problems with. Male trait

Primark is just there, go for a browse and to get the tights, new range, exactly what I wanted, less than 2 quid (well I’ll end up laddering them anyway, so no reason to buy expensive ones). Think I get one or two “That’s a bloke” whispers as I wander around. Apart from that I didn’t hear a thing during my travels around town. After Primark I have a little look around the market before heading back to the Village. Do detour around China town on the way back, grabbing a spring onion fritter/bun type thing from a bakery as I’m hungry, only had that little sandwich hours ago. Spring onion fritter/bun type thing is very nice.

Back to the village and continue my photo tour

Also catch a few of the bands on, all look like TG ones this time. Not bad, some a little self indulgent with the guitar solos.

Find a few more people, I recognise, Lucy, Louise, Sophie, Saffy. Plus Justine from Angels, who doesn’t want her photo taken any more (see the thread) don’t recognise her initially, have only see an old avatar before and it doesn’t do her justice.

Little chat, few more pictures, another drink, Pimms it’s labelled, is Pimms supposed to be muddy brown?

Dinner was at 8:30 and now it was getting on for 6, nice day so far, but I was getting a little warm and tired. Would of liked to pop back to the hotel to have a leisurely change befor dinner, but well I had to stay. Laura Handbag, Chrissie, Jenny and Sally where here in Treacle form and where due on (the headline act infact) at about 6:30-7, so I had to stay and see them, but first I had to get a bit of toty.

T.O.T.Y, Tranny Of The Year, the replacement for the Miss Sparkle contest with apparently less emphasise on looks and more on “Tranny” ish categories (most passable etc). Think this is because previous winners of Miss Sparkle mostly seemed to be young pre-op TS (not 100% sure) and a few feathers where ruffled by this, as a 30-40 year old TV with heavy makeup, wig, padding etc doesn’t stand a chance against a 20-30 year old TS with who has had a few treatments in a straight up beauty contest. But hey a beauty contest, the most beautiful should win IMHO and not many of us can say our looks are totally natural can we anyway. Anyway this year it was restricted to T.V.s . Not sure if I agree with all this, in fact I’m not sure I really like beauty contests how ever they are presented.

But I was here and had to wait it out before the band was one (most people I knew had left though) and so I took a few pictures, tried to get one reasonable pictures of everyone, not sure I did it though.

OK I was being mean about the contest, most put a lot of effort into it, and it does take some courage to stand up there and be judged.

Met with Jo from Angels whilst this was going on, with her friend Val from Finland (now that’s a trek to get here), hi Jo lovely to finally meet you after all these years.

That was the first round of TOTY, there was going to be a final one after the band. I saw Treacle’s Mk I quite a while ago, and although Treacle’s Mk II are a little more er “mature” (please don’t kill me for saying that) they seem a bit more together and put in a good set. Little less ankle gazing from you Miss Handbag though please.

But it was a rather short set, they where cut short as they had to get the 2nd round of TOTY all finished before 8. I gather the band where a bit disappointed by this.

After the band finished left the park and got back to the hotel sharpish, had to change. Never did find out who won Tranny of the year. But did stop in the SPA get a bottle of water on the way back to, it might be heavy night.

What I really wanted now was a shower, a total makeup reboot, a leisurely change and a proper photo session. But I only had about half an hour, bugger. So just have time to clean up a bit (dam forgot girly deodorant, make do with boy stuff that was in the wash bag), touch up my slap, on with new tights and the outfit and into the little shoes. Also changed back into the new hair, well I think it suited the outfit more this time, being a bit big and brassy, and I was going to be in a mostly TG environment so I thought I’d risk it. Plus I bought the thing so wanted to get some wear out of it. Quick snap in the mirror had to do as the photo, but that turned out quite nice.

Just before I leave I decided tp rearrange the bag, figure I might be going dancing afterward so decide to ditch excess weight, this included my brolly, as well the weather looked like it would hold. Fatal mistake.

Outfit, all shinny and black, satin M&S blouse and American Apparel tight shiny skirt that had a tendency to ride up, Smart and Sexy was the idea, bit slutty was the result. Oh well here we go.

Lift down from the 6th floor, stops a couple down and who walks in, Louise, Sophie, Saffy and Justine, who where all going to the planned meal as well, Hello girls nice coincidence that. Felt a bit better as I didn’t have to walk there alone. We met Jo and Val on the way to and had a little posse trouping up to china town, though our different heel heights and leg lengths meant we all walked at different speeds. I must off stood out a bit from the group though, all the others only seemed to come up to my shoulder (come on my heels weren’t that high). I think it would be nice to be around average female height sometimes, like the others, it would make blending in easier and think of all the leg room you would have on public transport.

We ending up taking the long way around China town as the sun sets, but we find the restaurant again. As I near it I hear a couple of wolf whistles, might not have been directed at me (I was slightly ahead of the group), might of been ironic or they might not of clearly seen my face in the gloom and only seen a tall blonde in a very short (It had ridden up a bit) shinny skirt. I’ll take the later option please

Little Ying Sang and the Angels, just like 2007. I sort of just snuck into the meal at the last minute, due to my slowness are getting organised, so the food was going to be what ever that was brought out. Actually the food was a bit hit and miss and the mid course salmon was much poorer than the crispy duck (which I’ve given up haven’t I) , the Dim Sum starters was OJ (meaty though) but very hard to eat with chopsticks and the main veggie course a little uninspiring. But the company and atmosphere made up for it, had a few chats, with people new and old and it was nice to see a few couples there. Of course the camera came out.

Jo from Angels took a video using the Lazy Susan to pan it round on the other table (there so was so many of us we had 2 pushed together), its rather good, see it here, the choice of the Vision On Gallery music she added was inspired

Many Thanks to Mary for letting me join the party at the last minute.After the meal it was definitely time to go dancing, I had another outfit to go clubbing in back at the hotel, but the meal took a while and it would of taken to long to go change, so I went as is, well a shinny little skirt is clubby enough. The group sort of split up now, I tagged along with Justine, Saffy (just Saffy, Louise had called it a night) and went to find some night life, Justine (LINKY possibly) was local and lead the way.First call was at New York New York, I think the TV-Chix site where having there do here, but I couldn’t really tell, it seemed packed with Hen parties and the like, could barely move or dance.

We didn’t stay to long. Next place was erm well I don’t remember the name, we went around down the street and turned right and down to a basement (this having clubs and shops and things in basements seems to be a feature of this area of Manchester) and there’s a club, apparently its usually a fiver to get in, but we where waved though, possibly cause of Sparkle or was it just because of the way we looked.

I liked this club, good lights, good music, room to move and an area to sit and chat around the back. Only problem it was a bit empty and nobody seemed to be dancing, so we sort of sat around and chatted instead. Apparently it was unusually quite for this time on a Saturday. I would like to see this club (what ever its called) in full swing. Still made for interesting (well interesting to me) photo’s with the lights and all.

We moved on, it was raining by now, and I really regretted not bringing my brolly. Also I’d had enough of heels, and had slipped on the my flats instead. New bag seems to be able to swallow the camera, heels, makeup and all sorts no problem, think there’s a small Tardis sown into the lining

We went back to Canal Street, to VIA I think and where lead down into the basement (again) to the dance floor. Again it wasn’t hugely busy, but there where a few people dancing, so we joined in and a bit of a boogie was had.

But it was getting towards two and it had been a long long day, tired now, there was another quieter area with seats just off the bar and we found another couple of T-girls, inc Lucy again. Another bit of a chat then. Smaller groups are easier than bigger ones, but still I’m quite hard work

But the day had taken its toll, I’d had enough, just didn’t have the energy to dance till dawn (and it wasn’t the booze, was still fairly sober), I said good be to the girls and went back into the rain. Many thanks for the tour Justine.

Well it was going to be a night, but I had a couple of things to do first. Napoleons “Naps” is a pretty infamous club just off Canal Street, for T-girls anyway, its has a reputation a unashamed T-girl/admirer pick up joint. But everyone says you have to go there, but probably only once. So I did. It was jammed, lots of T* and lots of admirers, you could barely move, sort of edged my way in, then up the stairs to see, and eventually found the little dance floor (small dance floor, large sit/stand around area is a good combo for a busy tranny club, we just don’t dance much) and had a boogie to 1 number. But only one and an admirer who sidled up to me had to give the brush off during. Left after that, probably only stayed 5 minutes, but I well I’ve been there once now.

Rain is coming down quite heavily by now and to be honest I’m looking a bit worse for wear. Buttons on my blouse had popped open to, do them up. Pass fast food place on the way, Mc Tucky’s ? or something like that, Oh lets have the end of night chips then. It’s very busy in there, take a while to get served. Chips are a pound, but the portion is miserly, the chips quite flavourless and I’m sure the man behind the counter called me Sir

Back to the hotel in the rain, I’m pretty wet by the time get there.

Nearly there, up the lift to the room, get that end of the night pic, clean up and crash. Glad I had some water and juice in the room.

Don’t sleep as well as I should of and can’t lie in too much. Up at 8, shower/shave/makeup doesn’t go to badly. Outfit was simple black tee, black coated jeans from Top Shop and white jacket from Zara. Had planned to wear my strappy platform shoes with it, but well after a few minutes I seemed to have a premature (it usual happens on Monday) case of Sparkle foot, so back into the flats.

Its hard to get good light in that room. Pop down for breakfast, had it in the hotel, just a continental style buffet affair, so its bread, cheese, juice and cofffee, ohh coffee. Another T girl joins me at my table (the breakfast area is quite full), but I’m unsociable and don’t even find out her name Back to the room to pack.

Usual twice around the room to make sure I had everything, then down to check out. Hrmm not a bad hotel, very friendly and not a bad location, but could do with better air con (it was a grey morning, but still rather warm and close) it’s hard to light the rooms for photo’s (OK not a big deal for most) and it’s a pity they where charging an event rate for the rooms not the normal weekend one. No problems with checkout, bill already paid and they let me stash my case there till later, so lets go and have a bit more of a Sparkle

Took some pics outside the hotel, hey I like distressed brick work.

Up to Canal street then, its getting towards 11 but its still almost empty. Sit by a table for a sec, take a couple of snaps, as I sit a lad carrying 3 pints approaches me, he sort of explains he bought them for his mates but is walking away from them to see if they react, so far they hadn’t. Er Ok son, guess his mates must still be hung over from Saturday. Odd encounter

Move further up the street, and there’s Lucy again, having a morning coffee on an outside table. Get a glass of Rose (hey I wasn’t driving) and stop to chat. We exchange stories, seems Lucy got a great deal for a night at the University, a fraction of what the Ibis cost via an Italian travel agent.

Rain interrupts our chat so we move into the Bar opposite (simply named “Queer” ) . A couple more girls, er me bad names, you know, join us in the bar and light conversation is made till lunch.

Its getting close to 12 and both Lucy and I had arranged to go to the Sunday Lunch at Villagio, organised by Bea on Roses. Sun and the T-girls had come back out, there’s a crowd waiting outside the Restaurant.

Restaurant opens up a little late, but it does eventually and the T* hoard piles in. Later I heard 98 of us turned up for Sunday Lunch. I’d lost most people I knew by now, so I just plonked myself on a corner of one table alone, but I was soon joined by a few people I knew, Christina and Dawn, Nina ( know of her through Roses) and one of there other friends. Got more wine and settled in for a long boozy lunch. My original food order got lost also, which was a blessing as I got to change my mind, the Salmon turned out to be excellent (unlike Saturday night). Food was pretty good, took a while to come though, but the place was packed. 2nd bottle turned up of wine turned up and I’m a bit relaxed Do wander around taking photo’s though.

Was a good lunch and a long lunch, if I was still booked on my original choice of train, the 14:55 I would have had to cut it short, so perhaps the failure to collect my train tickets has a small silver lining. Good company too, mostly….

After lunch I wander back to the hotel, was time to go now, that’s enough Sparkle for me (others where parting all Sunday night though), get my case and drag it back to the station (Feels very heavy) getting a few last snaps of Manchester for this year.

Train isn’t that busy again and I have a double seat in direction of travel to myself again, don’t bother with book or music this time, was just too dozy, rested my eye’s at Crewe and woke up in Watford. Train gets into London 3 minutes early.

Awkwardly pull bag around M&S to get food for tea and then to the bus stop (tube still down), 2 buses, near grid lock in Islington and another walk and I’m home around 7, very tired. Sort photo’s around for a bit in front of Top Gear before getting to a much needed bed.

Monday, up and no, down again, email work saying I’m not coming in, originally I had the day off, but had told work I wouldn’t need it on Thursday. Well I did, slept till 11, and then sorted photo’s out until I realised I was ravenously hungry. Pop to Angel for a pub lunch and to get the latest Torchwood on DVD. Back and finally mange to sort out the rest of the pictures. Needed that, yes I go out a lot, but so much was compressed to the Sparkle weekend, plus booze and long days I needed some time to unwind, recover, decompress.

Tuesday, work, had to, didn’t want to.

Been an exhausting couple of weeks, but its not over, I ain’t working this Friday either, girly day in town I think, then there’s a curry (we are going down market for a change) with the Angels (different Angels) in the evening, followed by the Spectrum picnic on Saturday afternoon, followed by, I dunno, will see what the evening brings. Glad I have Sunday to recover this time.

Thursday, sleep a bit, get out of bed about lunchtime, this was probably a mistake. Should of slept longer. Sort a few of the pictures out before going out en bob for lunch. Try the local pub, but there’s loads and loads of red shirts around, not sure what is going on, hasn’t the football season finished? They appear to be doing a photo shoot outside the pub, there’s a dozen arsenal fans jumping around manically, a cannon, a guy in a sort of Napoleonic type army uniform, blue smoke, reflectors, hot lights and a photographer with a Hassleblad, so I guess its some sort of publicity shoot. Decide to give my local a miss and go somewhere else. Bit further I find a quite place where I can eat a pizza, have a beer and continue my current book, Lauren Beukes Moxyland. Well I promised my self a pizza for my birthday. Back home, finish the picture sorting and post them, and jump in the bath.

Was Elephant Shelf’s Album launch do tonight in Vauxhall and I’d said I would come along, 2 girlie nights out on the trot eh. Out the bath and shave, ouch, bloody, messy, loads of razor burn too many shaves in too short a time period. Moisturise a lot afterwards to try and calm it down. This was probably a mistake.

Take ages trying to figure out what to wear, ends up with a tee shirt, that new New Look jacket, denim mini, thin flesh tone tight and flats. Wasn’t a great combination, perhaps a different skirt, or top or boots or something would of worked better.

Right slap time, doesn’t go well, foundation won’t stay on certain bits of my top lip and chin, argggg, wipe it off, try again, use less, but it still doesn’t hold, bits flake off nooooo…. Think about not going out

Think the combo of the heat, the razor burn and cuts and the over moisturised face was the problem. In the end wipe it all off. My face was going red and feeling raw with all that so decide to leave it for a while to rest.

Time was getting on, I reckoned I had to leave the flat at 8 to get there, and having to reboot the face meant I guess there won’t be a photoshoot tonight. Give the face 45 minutes to recover, reapply lightly with no primer, it sticks better, but it’s not perfect, so over do the powdering to try and cover it up. Its not the best makeup job in the world, just hope the venue is dark.

Do mange to get out the house at 8, have the camera and a different, undamaged bag this time. Tube to Vauxhall is rather hot, but apart from that OK, and er oh I’m a bit early, it’s like 8:35. The cool evening air is a relief after the tube and the bus station looks good in the sunset. Pop a couple of snaps

That wastes a little time, sashay down the pedestrian tunnel under the rail tracks and cross the road to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Have sort of heard of this place before, there does appear to be a number of (mostly gay) clubs and stuff around Vauxhall which this is part of, the “Vauxhall Gay Village” as its know, but to be honest I haven’t seen much sign of it, its not obvious like Old Compton Street or Canal Street in Manchester. Spot Diana from Elephant shelf outside the pub chatting, must be the right place, so in we go.

I’m a bit early really, and the place is a bit empty, but spot (or get spotted) by Chrissie of the Treacle’s, Laura Handbag’s band mate, I was actually meant to be meeting Laura here again but it looks like she wasn’t there yet. Get a drink (wot no pear cider) order some food and try to chat to Chrisse and Jenny from the Treacle’s and Diana and Vicky from Elephant Shelf. Food arrives, veggie platter for under a fiver is quite substantial, cheese stuff is very hot though.

More people arrive, a coach party of Shelf fans from St Albans has turned up. The thing starts up just gone 9, the band have a rather camp friend acting has host for the evening, he has dressed for the occasion in sparkly black leggings and Perspex stripper heels (OK I was jealous) there’s a support act on first, just one man with a piano singing well er some er rather eccentric songs about garden gnomes and the like. OK he isn’t to bad.

After that the band starts up proper and the play a long, even by their standards, set of album tracks and old favourites.

I have my camera out and am trying to do my photog bit by know, though they do have a videographer and what looks like a pro photographer with a big Canon, big lens and big flashgun. I’m just shooting with the D700, a fast prime and no flash. It’s a struggle to get ISO down, DOF up and shutter fast enough in the pub light. A few shots are deemed worth keeping.

The pro would of got better and much tighter shots with his longer lens and flash. I suppose I could of brought the full artillery kit if I wanted to. While the band is playing Laura and Lexy turn up, mange to have a little chat afterwards.

The band play on, put the camera down eventually, to have a little shimmy and enjoy the music, only snapping occasionally. It’s a good set, but rather loud, they have a big PA for the little club. And I have to say, I’ve heard most of Elephant Shelf’s repertoire a few times before.

They have some copies of the album on sale, feel I ought to get one. There’s some pictures of the band on the back, hey I recognise that one, and that one, and that one, I took some them! Looking down at the bottom of the back cover, it small lettering they have credited the photographers, and yey, my name’s there, I have an album credit Many thanks Vicky and Diana.

Its gone 11 and people are leaving, Laura says Jenny can offer me a life back to Islington as she is taking her back that way anyway. I suppose I could of got the tube, but hey I don’t get to ride in cars that often

Jenny also kindly gives Lexy a life back to Waterloo before taking Laura and myself back to Islington, the talk is all of music, the other 3 all being musicians. Back in north London (being south of the river for so long is disorientating ;)) Laura invites us into her new studio for a look around, oh rather nice isn’t it, well it should be the amount of work she’s put in. I’m offered a lift for the rest of the way home, but I don’t want to take Jenny out of her way, so I decided to walk it. Well its another lovely cool night and its not to far.

Home, at last, been a mad couple of days, and whoa now I’m feeling it, so tired, undress, clean up and bed sharpish. Sleep for at least 11 hours.

Friday, was really planning a boys day, you know to compensate for all the flouncing, snowboarding, beer, film with lots of explosions in it etc. But unfortunately It’s really to late to go boarding by the time I’m fully awake and dressed, and I’m still to tired anyway. Decide to just go for the film, pop to Angel to have a quick pub lunch, just a sarnie, appetite appears to have got tired too and go and watch Transformers II. It’s a film about big robots fighting each other, with explosions and Megan Fox bending over. Some of the attempts at comedy are a bit week, but apart from that, it does what it says on the tin, some critics have panned it, others can’t understand it (because if they did understand it they would be “sad”) but really its exactly what I was expecting, popcorn entertainment. I like the look of the trailer for the new Taurentino flic.

Stop by the supermarket for bits and pieces and bus it home, lazy I know. Finish the evening with the final parts of Battlestar Galactica slightly unexpected ending, but it sort of ties things up, yeah, good stuff. It’s a great series, try watching it if you haven’t already, even if you normally don’t life Sci Fi.

Saturday the 4th, Independence Day from us for the Americanians, Pride Day for Londoners, but neither of that for me. Today I am going Snowboarding I told myself, get the board out and run a gummy stone over the edges, Zardoz the base, locate all my safety kit and pack up. Just will check the Hemel Snow Centres website to see if there’s anything on today. Huh? They are all booked out all morning? Can’t see an event or anything, what’s up? Can’t be that popular in July, something most be going on. According to the website its back to normal at 2, so well might as well go then.

Fill in the morning doing the interesting task of updating my spyware software. Don’t trust entering my credit card details into my PC unless its had a check immediately before hand with a full up to date scanner. After that’s done I book my boarding on line. Well the cards out and the PC’s clean, so, Oh yes Sparkle, of course, its next week and I haven’t organised a thing. Check the hotels, obviously the popular Charles street Ibis near to Canal street is going to be full, isn’t it? No actually, get a room for Saturday night, result, I’m in Tranny Towers. On a role here, lets book a train so I can get a seat, not a cheap ticket, but it’s a fast train and they upgrade to first is only a few quid more, hey lets travel in style, Love is going first class for a change.

So that’s Sparkle sorted, I’ll be up there Saturday lunch time, check in, the its an afternoon/evening in the park then I have to find something to do in the evening, I suppose there might be a party or club night going one somewhere do you think? Then next day there’s time for a lie in, Sunday lunch and back home to London will be an all girl weekend I’ve decided, manged to even book the train and hotel as Miss Helena Love. Now I just have to figure out what to wear. So see you at Sparkle then, say hello if you want, I don’t bite, no not even if you ask me to.

Back to the plot, its about time to go so I cart the board off to Euston and jump on the fast train to Hemel with another sandwich, corned beef, yeah meat, this is the last time (for now), well it’s a birthday treat see, the only meat I think I really missed going veggie was actually corned beef, yeah not fine steak or roast chicken or hamburgers or anything, just simple corned beef. You know I’m weird.

Train is fast, 24 minutes to Hemel Hempstead, actually this is the first time I’d ever been there. Now to get to the Snow Centre, to far to walk with a heavy board, bus, there’s no direct bus, so Taxi it is. Hemel is a lot greener than I expected.

Factored in a tonne of contingency into my journey, so by the time I get there its only 1, and I’m on snow at 2. Wait it out in the bar for a bit and have a look around Snow and Rock. Find out why it was booked up all morning, there’s a prize giving for some sort of ski race meeting going on in the bar. Ski racing inside a snowdome? They really should put events like this on the website. Get see the slope too, there’s a balcony you can get to from the bar to observe. Slope looks, erm a little short, oh.

Start changing around one thirty five.

Good point: the cubicles are big and the locks work (unlike MK) and the lockers are free

Bad point: the lockers aren’t big enough for a snowboard bag (unlike MK), the staff on the rental desk allow me to stow my bag behind the counter though.

Right on to the snow, no idea what the time is actually, but no one appears to be checking. Right hand, Poma, the get on is a little scrappy, I’m rusty and its not quite laid out to help boarders. Right we are at the top, doesn’t look that short from up here, lets go.

Good point : quality snow, its all a bit cut up and bumpy from the traffic, but that makes it very much like a popular blue run in a resort.

Bad point: Its is short, doesn’t feel very long at al.,

Good Point: It is wide enough to put in some long carved turns though.

Bad point: I’ve almost completely forgotten who to ride switch, bumpity bump ouch.

Bad point: The left hand Poma is quite fast and very awkward for goofy riders, takes a couple of goes to get the knack of riding it.

Good point: they appear to be totally relaxed about time and general behaviour on the slope.

Bad point they are so relaxed about behaviour on the slope that they let people who really should be on the learner slope up there, in particular there’s a large group with numerous people who barely snow plow and have trouble with the lifts makes it a bit of an obstacle course going down sometimes.

Good point: some of the lumps and bumps in the snow make natural hits to try and get a little air off, one of these days I am going to have to work up the courage to try a 180 off one.

Bad points my 180’s on the flat or gentle slops are still hit and miss.

Bad point, not enough staff, lifts stop far to often and the lifty is often elsewhere, in one case they didn’t stop when they should, someone got stuck at the top of a life, causing a traffic jam, people where having to bail out, including me, I had to let go of the pole, I shouted a warning, but it sprung forwards after I released it and it hit a woman on the elbow. I apologised, but she said she was OK and it wasn’t my fault, the lift should have been stopped, but I could see she wasn’t happy.

Good point: Nobody checks the time, but by the time it was 4 I was tiring, decided to call it a day anyway, but I guess I could of rode longer if I wanted to.

Change back, come down beer in the bar and another taxi ride back to the station, just in time for the fast train back to London. Hrmmm not convinced its better than MK, even costs more per hour and having to take Taxi’s doesn’t help.

Get bottle of wine on way home, try to watch Black Book on DVD but fall asleep half way though.

Sunday, Sunday, normally my lazy day or my washing day depending, but not this Sunday, I was breaking with form and having another Helena day. You see going shopping the week before on Oxford Street in boy mode was a bit frustrating, wanted to do it properly, so its back on with the makeup and syrup. Again agonise over what to wear, ends up with a slightly scruffy look, grey off the shoulder top, baggy denim mini, grey leggings and black flats. Scruffy yeah, but comfortable and non attention seeking, had enough of that on Wednesday.

Slow getting on, so no really photo’s instead get the G9 out and take that with me, popping a few shots on the way.

I look really unhappy don’t I. I wasn’t honest. Out late, but the shops open late on a Sunday, so no problem. Stop to fuss white and black cat on the way to the station, but curiously he isn’t interested.

As I snap him (to make up for the blurry shot from Wednesday) the cats owner, who is outside the basement flat, start speaking to me, she explains the cat (”Casper” I find out after all of these years of fussing him) is tired, he’d been out all night and had just eaten, that and the sun made him sleepy. We ended up having a little chat about him. Which was really really nice, normal and warm, there’s acceptance for you.

Tube to Marble Arch and did my usual trek down Oxford street. Highlights include finding size 7 pumps in Evans that fit (Evans sizes are outrageous) and having the Sales girl tell me all about there event there this Thursday for the new Beth Ditto range. Going a bit mad in New Look, 2 skirts, pink leggings, leatherette jeans, necklace, smiley girl on the checkout. Being asked if a jacket was real leather in Primark (at £17 hun, not a chance) and then asked by the same woman if I thought it fitted her right (it did). I bought the same jacket too, leatherette is a military style with 2 rows of buttons, just my thing, plus more leggings (grey and zebra!) a shirt and another necklace. Lunch in all bar one, being over charged for a drink then point out the till didn’t match the menu and getting the cheaper price. Nearly buying a DNKY bag in Debenhams, well I had to replace the one that I broke, it was big, black, had a shoulder strap and was in the sale, but it was still £70 and I dunno didn’t look quite right, that contrasting stitching didn’t work. New hair in House of Frasier wig studio, tried on half a dozen, sales woman was very patient, and helpful, let me use a private cubicle and didn’t say a word about my trans status. Ended with a long dark blonde one from Hot Hair, its not 100% perfect, but I think it will grow on me (so to speak).

By the time I was at Oxford Circus I was nearly shopped out and had spent far to much. Didn’t have a replacement bag either. Cheap nearly black tights in Debenhams, it’s OK we are not in queue says a woman near the checkout and lets me past. No suitable bags or tee shirts (decided I needed more) in H&M, though some interesting merchandising going on.

Over the road to Top Shop, there’s the bag, big, bigger than the old one, looks quite well made and strong, lots of pockets and the essential long shoulder strap. Its not perfect, not 100% keen on the detailing, but it better (and cheaper) than the DNKY, so it will have to do. Bought. Continue round the store a few times, still looking for Tee shirts (have to be crew cut I decide, I have to many off the shoulder ones), again nothing else grabs, but as in H&M they have some great visual merchandising going on.

Right that’s the lot, just go up the other half of the street to Forbidden planet and the bus home. Cept I stop in HMV looking at MP3 players, Ipod Touch maybe? Not today, look for large bangles in the other Evans and browse around UNIQLO for tee’s. Nope, no tee’s that work, but there’s this pink denim mini, so cute and I don’t have a pink one. Try it on in the changing room as it says on the label size 14, but waist 30″ and I’m think I’m bigger than that now. Nah it fits fine, use the changing cubicle for a pit stop while I’m there, take a pic and even dance around a little to the music on the store PA. I was just having fun. Buy the skirt.

That’s it no more clothes, just check FP, nope no Star Trek uniforms (web site says they are out of stock till end of July now :() lets get the bus home.

Get some wine and some tonic water just before home, hoping to stretch it out a bit with spritzers and not fall asleep early. Which works. Sort pics out, clean up and bed again.

Back to work Monday. Well its been a mad week or so, but technically that was my summer holiday, got to enjoy it while it lasts. Next week, hello Manchester we love you

Wednesday 1st of July 2009 and I’m 41.

 Bugger

Older, but no further along any kind of path, I’m still extremely single, living in a rented flat and dressing up in silly clothes at the weekend and making rather poor attempts at socialising. I’m also am fatter that I was last year

But no mopping around this birthday, nope actually had a big night out planned for a change and the day off work to get ready. Reckoned I needed fresh tights for the evening as thin tights are generally a one use item with me, plus there was a couple of photographic bits and pieces I wanted so another trip to town in boy mode.

Tube to the exciting and bustling West End? Not quite, Euston station, but there is method in my madness. First stop was Calumet photographic, which is just next to Euston, for a SC-29 TTL cable, my birthday present to me Exciting huh, yeah it’s a bit of wire basically, an rather expensive bit of wire and I already had a TTL cable, a cheap 3rd party Nikon knock off that does work. So why this, well I’d noticed on a number of the C&D and Magic Theatre pics the focus was off, the camera was struggling to get an autofocus lock in the poor light, the focus assist light on the flash didn’t come on and focus assist light on the cam is weak (and often blocked by the strap). This cord has a built in focus assist light that sits on the hot shoe (apparently having a one on the flash when its used off camera can lead to focus inaccuracy too). Hopefully this will help the focusing when I’m using off camera flash, plus it’s the latest Nikon model and should be totally compatible with my speedlights and camera. Gosh that was interesting.

Got my new toy and the sun was shinning, next stop St Pancras for some tights. Thought M&S or La Senza would have plenty but the choice is poor, eventually find some large Aristoc barely black ones with a sheer toe (needed that) in Boots, Barely Black, oh, usually get black, wonder if these will be OK.

Lunch, birthday lunch, so treat my self to Yo Sushi (tastes nice, but low fat :)), pleasant as always, but I have to say that new marinated Mackerel sushi is gorgeous, extremely fishy, but still gorgeous.

Right get back home, lets change. Face has recovered just enough from Saturday to there’s not oo much blood and the slap goes on OK. Outfit is the oversized white tee with the girl face on it from Watford market with the shinny little mini from Matalan, those new tights and the Matalan strappy heels. Those heels will kill me, I know it from experience at PP, pack flats to change into. With the flats, the camera, makeup, hair brush, money etc the bag is full to bursting, so slip in a plastic carrier bag in to pocket just in case. Tights don’t do on well, all sorts of little snags and stuff, look a bit rough close up, but from a distance, hey I like that, barely black is my new favourite colour, they give a sort of deep tanned look to my legs (which helps cause I botched an application of fake tan earlier and left my legs looking streaky)

Pics work well I think had to faff around taking 1 pic at a time before I had the lights just right, but I think the results where worth it. Flickr seems to like them too.

Time for a little chill out before I head out to. This was to be a proper birthday blow out, so the plan was, meet up with several others at the Spice of Life pub in Soho for a drink, bite to eat and a chat, then Priscilla Queen of Desert at the Palace Theatre, followed by Lola’s for another drink, then Tranny Shack till it closes, chips and finally watch the sun come up sitting outside bar Italia with a coffee. Like I was going to be able to actually mange all of that, but well it doesn’t hurt to be a little ambitious.

Out the flat around 5, still very light and early and I’m in quite a OTT tarty outfit with an acre of leg on display, yikes, and its still quite hot, can’t hide under a coat. Shouldn’t of been worried, trip was uneventful, 5 minute wait at the stop, bus to the west end and walk across Cambridge circus to the pub, not a word

In the pub I spotted Denise Anderson, plus a few others I didn’t recognise (but where fairly obviously trans, sorry, but I guess I’m I the same boat), get a drink and plonk my self with them.

Bit of history, on the Roses forum there was a thread about a trip to the Priscilla Queen of the Desert Musical, didn’t really interest me at first, but I perused the thread one day and found they had go a freebie, it turns out a couple of girls (Susan and Dawn) had met the shows producer in Lola’s and he had offered them free tickets for a TG group. Well the group was organised and the tickets collected and everyone had a great time, such a good time they got some more tickets and organised a 2nd night. And this 2nd night was to be on the first of July, hey that’s my birthday I lucked out and manage to get the last spare ticket for the 2nd trip. I’m not the biggest fan of musical theatre really and I probably wouldn’t of gone if it wasn’t a freebie, so I was possibly being a bit cheeky asking for a ticket, but well a night out with a group on my birthday can’t be missed and as I found out later, it was well worth it. This pub I was in was next door to the theatre, so it was (after some kitten herding) agreed as the meet up point.

I try to chat in the pub to Lisa and Jamie, but its hard going, to many people, to many new people and I clam up a bit, sorry.  But its not long before we have to go and collect the tickets. This being a freebie, the tickets weren’t going to be the best in the house, we where really just filling up unused seats, but hey even poor seats for this show aren’t cheap, so I can’t complain. Get given a ticket for Row E seat 28 in the stalls, that’s near the front so should get a good view. Meet up with some more people in the group outside the theatre and well the camera has to come out.

There’s the phone, can’t find it in my bag fast enough before it rings off. But missed call thingy shows it was from Laura, Miss Handbag was supposed to be coming to the show as well, but hasn’t made it yet. Call her back, she has problems, running late, make sure she gets a ticket kept. Sort it out with Susan.

Showtime, thread my way down through the theatre to my seat, looks like I’m on my own (the group had been scattered across the theatre), seat not bad, view a little restricted perhaps, if no one else turns up I’ll move a seat or two across.

Curtain up, no one else is there, so move one seat, un strap the shoes for comfort and enjoy the show. Spoke too soon, there’s Laura, she made it in the end, think I just grabbed here seat, oops.

I wasn’t expecting much from the show to be honest, apart from a few Campy Draggy lipsyncs (I haven’t seen the film) but was very pleasantly surprised, yep there are drag lipsyncs, but even these are done cleverly with a live singer suspended above the stage doing the actual singing.  The tunes are fun and very well performed (the funeral to “Don’t leave me this way” was my favourite), costumes fabulous Darhling (and the costume changes so fast) the dancing is good, but what surprised me was the plot, it was deeper and more touching that I expected, with non stereotypical characters, prejudice and acceptance and an positive sympathetic view of the whole TS-Drag-TG thing. I have to admit a slightly moistening of the eye occurred towards the end, I must of got a little something in there…  It is a really good show, probably better than Spam a Lot (erm the only other stage musical I’ve seen). As a freebie it was a fantastic birthday treat, but now I know, I would actually pay to see it, I really would. Go and see it.

During the interval we retired to the bar to regroup and have a drink, cept I had to spend ages doing up shoes again before I could get there, Doh! Get there in time to have a little mini bottle of Champagne, matched the occasion

After the show we moved on to Lola’s just up the way into Soho. Its maybe not as busy as it was before, but it fills up when out lot gets there. Trouble is I er seem to have completely forgotten how to talk to people (again), large groups, most of whom are strangers and I’m tongue tied and awkward, sorry. Get a soft drink or two, but the bar closes at 11, they are having some licensing issues. But as usual the camera came out and a few shots where taken.

I’m not really doing very at Lola, so decide to move on, at Tranny shack I can dance and watch the Cabaret, don’t have to talk. Strutting across Soho late on a Wednesday night in this tiny skirt and high heels was slightly scary but also in a way a bit exciting (you tart), don’t get any negative (or in fact any) attention really though. Plus the cool night air is a relief.

So here it is Tranny Shack at Madam Jo Jo’s a year (-1 day) since I went before (but last year it was in the Revue bar around the corner) . How much, free for trannies hun is the reply, guess I don’t pass then, then down the stairs into the club wihtout paying.

Busy but not packed, and there actually aren’t that many T girls about, and the ones that are, are mostly draggy, so well pretty much like last time. Venue looks slightly larger than the revue, but not much, with a bar area and some seating overlooking the sunken dance floor and the stage. I’m a bit early for the Cabaret so get a drink first. Vodka Redbull, actually only my 3rd or 4th alcoholic drink of the night, and the redbull was just so I could keep going. Man offers to buy it for me at the bar, I ignore, actually he looks rather rough, can he afford it? That and another guy who tries to talk to me as I sit down, before I wave him off are the only admirers desperate enough to try and approach me.

Nurse my drink and people watch for a bit, clutching my bag. Had a problem with the bag, all the weight (mostly big camera) in there had caused some damage, the material had torn around one end of the strap and so it was just hanging on by a few threads, damm. I didn’t trust the strap any more and didn’t want it to break with the DLSR in there so I was carry it around under my arm. Can’t dance like that though New bag is on the shopping list, well this old thing has served me well and was only a cheap one from New Look anyway. Must of worn out about 3 or 4 bags since I started going out in Helena mode.

Go down to the dance floor eventually, music ain’t great but there’s the odd tune I can dance to. Plonk the bag in the corner and dance next to it, being very careful, I didn’t want to get it pinched. I danced alone, admirers don’t really dance and the gay guys and drag queens pretty much ignored me. There where a few GG’s down there dancing away to, would of liked to have a dance with them, but it didn’t happen, they usually stuck together in a group or danced with the drag queens who to their merit, could actually dance really well and where generally having lots of fun.

Dance a bit, sit around a bit, stand overlooking the dance floor a bit, get another drink (water only, oh its SPA, urrg, brackish) until the cabaret comes on and I get the camera out.

Mix of acts from the not bad Lulu lip sync, the er fairly cringe worthy I’m a little tea pot lip sync, the actually pretty good singer, the quite interesting 40’s period lip sync, and the other person. I say person, dress, hair makeup yes, no boobs, moustache and er unfortunatly no underwear, Miss something suppository I think she called here self. Yes the no underwear thing was completely visible at times with bits flopping around, I tended to look away at this point. She did a sort of lip sync act (I think) to a comedy routine about anal sex…. with actions. Not really my cup of tea.

Also they where running a raffle, to support there float for Pride (which was only a few days away, they had left it a bit late). I relented and bought a couple of tickets, there where some prizes, some quite good and some er ironic :)  When the went though the prize draw it seems a lot of the people who had bough tickets where outside smoking or had left, so those of us that stayed had a good chance, and yes my number (233) came up I clattered down the stairs inelegantly, went up to the stage, produced the tickets and collected the my prize, a bottle of “Tramp” body spray/perfume/stuff by Yardely, the scent of cheapness as they described it Yes it was one of the ironic prizes (but possibly appropriate given my outfit) , but it made me really happy, I never win anything, so this was a huge surprise, I’ll treasure it forever (even if I never wear it :)).

A few more dances, and actually mange to talk to some people, on t-girl who wanted her photo taken, so I obliged and another who knew my name as she had recognised me (after I got the camera out), turns out actually reads this drivel, poor lass. It would be good if s**t for brains here could remember her name., sorry hun. She’s the one in the bottom left of the picture bellow

Not sure who the bloke was. Well its getting late, pit stop in the loo for a bio break and to make sure face is still on (needed blot). The ladies is tinny and there’s no light in the cubicle. Most people where using the gents though.

Right its 2:45, think the place closes at 3 but not sure, but I’d had enough. Feet where not in total agony, surprisingly, perhaps I’m getting better at heels, but it would be good get into flats. Security guy wouldn’t let me change my shoes sitting on the stairs, so I just decided to do it outside. This was probably a mistake. As I changed my shoes leaning against a wall out side a couple of “geezers” took the piss fairly relentlessly, I didn’t look to see where they where or who they where, but they made loads of loud comments like “struggling in the heels JOHN” “changing into the flats JOHN” “Going for a run JOHN” and laughing to themselves at their absolute wit and powers of observation at spotting a tranny outside a tranny club. Wankers. What where they tourist or something, tranny shack has been running here on a Wednesday for years. I didn’t look or show any reaction to them. Nobody else did either. But after I changed I popped back in the club, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have to walk past them.  I put the shoes in that hand carrier bag I brought (see planning),  gathered my strength, pulled my skirt down and lifted my top up back on top of my shoulder and marched out. But they didn’t actually harass me any further. No instead they had found another target, a GG and her boyfriend (I think) where walking away from Tranny Shack (I’d seen them in there) and I could hear the blokes talking to them, you see the GG was quite curvy and wearing corset and thong and the blokes where asking to grope her arse, repeatedly. I ask you, men at their lowest.  As I said I’m pretty sure she had here boyfriend with her, so I left them be and departed in a hurry. Should have I stepped in to her aid?

Round the corner and on to Old Compton Street, I was rather underdressed to be walking around at this hour alone and felt a little insecure, though the hot day had translated into a pleasantly warm night so wasn’t to bad. A lot of police where about though, that helped. I was looking for a somewhere to get chips, Old Compton Street was mostly closed, Charing Cross had a place that was open, but it only did pizza and sandwiches, no chips. Right where does chips that could be open, hrmmm, ah near Leicester square tube, not far.

There’s still quite a few people about, a few look, a few laugh and I get a comment or two. People are less polite after a few drinks, but I get to where I think the place is. Yep its there, they do do chips and the price isn’t silly. No salt though. Chips are OK, but they are more tradition than hunger, but they all get eaten this time.

Back to Soho, Bar Italia for coffee and to see the sunrise? Nah it was only just gone 3  and sunrise was gone 4, I couldn’t nurse a coffee that long. But it would be nice to stop here for a bit, so I get a large cappuccino and sit out on a table out front. Get one last piss take for the night, as I sip a coffee a passing man says to me is that you Susan, I look up shaking my head, then he goes oh no its Steve, hahhahahah. Sigh, but that was the last of it.

Actually it didn’t feel unsafe or exposed in front of Bar Italia, it was a barmy night and there was about 5 police cars parked opposite, half the Met appeared to be getting coffee there. A woman approaches me and asks if she can join me, ah I recognise her from earlier in the club and Lola’s I think, she looks OK, so I agree. She goes to get a coffee, takes a while, for a sec I though she’d done a runner, but she returns and we chat. Actually manage to chat this time, its easier in small groups and we swap stories, she’s pre-op and full time and quite passable, lives in London and knew some people I knew, Antonia I think her name was (usual disclaimer when it comes to names). I do falter after a bit but it was nice to finally have a bit of a chat to finish off the evening. We finish our coffee, say night good night and go to find our respective night buses.

Walk toward Piccadilly circus, feeling quite good now, its about 3:45 but I’m not really tired. Indicator on the bus stop says the bus that will get me halfway home was 4 minutes away, the bus that will take me all the way home was 14, don’t want to hang around so I get the first one.

The N38 takes me to Angel, no hassle, buses, even night buses are generally pretty safe. So do I wait for the next one to get me home or, well the suns coming up, still not tired, its warm and it looks like I have Upper Street to myself, lets walk a bit. As I walk the camera comes out, the light and the general lack of people and traffic gives the normally bustling street a slightly surreal air here in the twilight zone of 4-5am where last night really becomes this morning, after the revellers have finally gone to bed and the early morning workers have to get up.

Decide not to bother with the bus at all and just walk it, pick up some chocolate from the 24 hour place on the way. Its light by the time I’m at the park, continue along, got the place to myself apart from a mini cab driver and a cat, stop to fuss friendly cat, try to take his picture to, but focus is off.

Mini cab driver (well something like that), with a silver Merc is the only other human around, he attempts to say hello and engage, but I ignore, he cruises past me in his car a minute or two later and says something, I don’t even look, he gets the message and drives off.

Couple more streets and I’m home, its about 4:15, been a dirty stop out again haven’t I still a bit wired though, upload the pics in to the computer and noodle a bit, finally getting to bed at around 5:30, when I normally get up on a Thursday, just because.

Overall not a disastrous night, good show, got to have a little dance, did get a little stick and was mostly socially useless, but all in all yeah not a bad way to spend your birthday, and I won the smellies didn’t I

Lucky I had Thursday off work too isn’t it. Had Friday off too, then there’s the weekend. It’s not over till the fat tranny (me) sings (badly) so see you in part III.

Yes this is a bit late sorry, I’ve been busy, honest. So busy this week its going to be a three parter. 

Work went quite quickly, thankfully and its Saturday, weee Up and bathe/shave and er leave it like that, well I had a night out and it was blazingly hot, decided to save to face for later, so it ugly bloke mode in huge baggy shorts and tee, hair free arms and legs and the necessary factor 30 sun block.

Had made sure the outfit for the evening did fit this properly this time and had even got a couple of pairs of new tights to just in case, so didn’t really have to even dash out for last minute bits and pieces. But perhaps I did, the shoes, black 3″ stilettos I was planning that worked with the outfit, where not comfortable, I wore them to a Magic Theatre night the previous year, and they where ow ow ow after an hour or so. So how about a little light shoe shopping, in ugly bloke mode, yeah why not.

Tube to Marble arch and Evans, its still pretty early and they have just opened and yeah the sale is on. Find a few maybes in the size 8 rack, I’m an 8 in Evans, 9 or 10 everywhere else, its quite, oh sod it lets try them on in bloke mode. Just try one and don’t walk around though. Discard one or two pairs, but like this sort of black shoe/boot thingy with a 3″ heel, its cute, but not exactly right for tonight’s outfit, but then again, they where reduced to £20, real leather and fitted nicely, sure I can find something to wear them with, sold. Evans Marble Arch staff don’t even bat an eyelid at a man buying high heels.

Over the road to Primark and start to feel I want to be in Helena mode shopping, its not so much fun this way, I could of tried the shoes on properly and hey I like that jacket, and that skirt and and and…. Leave the store empty handed, will have a proper shopping trip another day.

Back across the road to New Look. There shoe racks are very confusing, and there’s frustrating few styles in wide fittings, but ah, what’s that, black leather 3″ stilettos with a thin double strap in 9 wide, they could work for this evening and those other 9 wide flats I have from New Look fit properly, so yep having them. Am not brave enough to try them on here, but guess they will fit, going on form and the eyeball sizeometer. Find a black Denim mini, size 14 also, ah been looking for one of those, get as well. Manage to resist the jackets for a change.

Duck through M&S into Selfridges, needed some Studio Tech NW15 and a new Kohl pencil from MAC to replace ones I’d used up. Staff are friendly, but don’t ask me if I’m registered at MAC when I pay, they always do when I’m in girl mode, suppose they think I’m buying for someone else.

So that’s 2 pairs of shoes, a skirt and makeup, not a bad haul for a man. Around 11 now, decide to get on home, but fancy sushi for lunch, but the Sushi shop hasn’t opened yet, well if I carry on down the street I guess by the time I get to the other branch it will of. And it is, well it should be its lunch time by the time I get there, well I had to go and have a look around Top Shop didn’t I.

Get veggie sushi and a cold diet coke, phew warm now and keep on down the street to the bus stops. Bus to Islington, remembered I needed some wrapping paper so pop into this odd little shop next to Waitrose, they have wrapping, but they also have present bags, get bags instead, am useless at wrapping presents (male trait) and had 3 to sort out for Sunday, felt bags would be so much easier.

As I pay up a man pushes past me with “Excuse me Luv”. Er Luv, in male mode? Well I guess he only saw me from behind, I have long hair on the back of my head, hairless arms/legs and an Evans bag I suppose, but no I didn’t think I looked the slightest bit fem. Odd, suppose you can pass sometimes without even trying.

See a film, nah have a DVD at home and there’s the bus, back home, put film on, open sushi and uncork a bottle of wine.

DVD is Cabaret, I’d picked up a copy during the week cheap, and the reason for watching it, was well, tonight’s night out was to Corsets and Diamonds and the chosen theme was Cabaret/Berlin in the 30’s etc, so I thought I would try and get in the mood. Was enjoying the film, nicely shot, quite an atmosphere and some great numbers, oh and Liza Minnelli is virtually a drag queen But I was drinking the wine, and there may have been a beer as well and I had plenty of time before I had to get ready and it was hot even in my new skirt and heels (I was breaking them in you see) and I’d thought I’d just rest my head for a bit…. Classic mistake, I did it again, I fell asleep! I should know what wine does to me by now.

Wake at 6:30, OMFG I’m not even made up and I’m supposed to meet Louise at 7, arrrggg. Plan was to get ready in plenty of time, have a photo shoot and then tube it down to Kings Cross to meet Louise and some girls from Roses for Dinner at 7. Well that’s a not going to happen no, thank gawd I’d shaved already. Send apology texts and so a double quick makeup job. It goes on all right, might not of had as much coverage as I needed, and I don’t think I got the shading quite right though. But couldn’t trowel it on, esp on the eye’s cause I really had to be makeup free on Sunday. On with the clothes, black satin pencil skirt, white satin blouse, black satin under bust corset worn rather high, large boobs (no bra, tacky bosom friends, corset and blouse held then all in), seemed tights and the new heels, topped off with blondie wig with a fascinator. Think it worked and was on theme, but still was practical (ish) and modest (ish).

No time for a photo shoot, just pack up big cam with the grip and a flashgun in my new bag (camera bag not a hand bag that I got in the week as well). Bag can fit the full camera kit, and makeup and bits and pieces, essential for nights out like this, does look a bit plain though. Pack flats to, don’t trust be feet lasting in these shoes, also get a thin coat, helps cover me up and it looks like there had been a thunderstorm while I was asleep.

Its nearly 20 to 8 before I get out the house, but I’m an hour late and don’t have any photo’s Neighbour spots me as I leave the house, she’s having a cigarette outside, should be no worries though, she’s seen me in Helena mode before. Wasn’t, she complements me on my outfit

2 minutes down the path to the tube and I change into the flats, shoes where’nt hurting, but they are slow going, pencil skirt and stilettos doesn’t suit fast movement and I’m late already.

Tube to KX, I’m just part of the Saturday night anything goes thing, noone looks. Out and up towards Central Station. That’s the bar the Papillion club was running in (still running?) and we had a meal in a few months a go. A post on Roses indicated there would be a crowd coming down for a meal tonight, so I arranged with Louise to meet here before Corsets and Diamonds for dinner.

T dar pings I walk up the street, hey that’s Christina with a friend, catch up with them. Turns out they’re late to, they got stuck in traffic. To the bar and find Lou, she’s there with Philippa and Penny. The post on rose did indicate a crowd was coming, but apart from another girl (think I’d met her at the Magic Theatre before, she was the one with the Film Nikon) that’s it, oh well, bloody useless trannies. Get a nice cool Pear Cider and lots of ice to cool off, outfit is all synthetic and quite warm.

Yeah a few pictures where taken, not great ones though. Find out I’d laddered my new tights, arrggg, don’t have a spare pair with me either We where up stairs in the restaurant, order fishcakes, but they’re off, so have a Stilton Tart instead, cause well you know. Food arrives promptly, I like mine, but Louise is not impressed by her lamb and rice risotto thingy. Since it’s a quick meal we are back on plan, better get to C&D. Only Louise and I where going there though, think the others where staying for the Cabaret they have at central station and then going on to the Way Out.

We walk back to the station, looking for a cab, slowly as I’d changed back into the heels for the photo’s, as usual anything goes around here on Saturday night and its pretty much no bother, even looking as silly as I do, though one GG rushes up to Louise and congratulates here on her outfit.

Have to walk almost all the way round to the Taxi rank before we find one with its light on (hey it’s a long way if you are in heels) and a rather quiet Taxi drivers whisks us to Clerkenwell, dropping us off opposite the bar.

So where we are, Corsets & Diamonds : Cabaret and oh it’s a little quiet, sure it will fill up later. Down stairs to hand in the coat (er when does a guy running the cloak room have to run and find someone to ask how much it costs?) check my makeup is still there (is mostly) tighten up the corset (ouch), get a passing GG to tie it off, put on my gloves and get out the cigarette holder. Just a cheap joke shop thing with a candy cig in the end, but it sort of suits the outfit. Make my way upstairs to make my entrance, not exactly a huge entrance, but I am relatively plain, Monica complements me my corsets tightness though

Cig lasts about 5 minutes before it falls out, holder another 5 before I put it away, gloves don’t last much longer. Well I needed my hands to work the Camera Tis quiet, it does fill up a bit later, but this must be the quietest C&D I’ve been to, probably was just cause its summer, people are on Holiday and the like. Its also a poor show on the TG front, there’s me and Lou and er that’s about it. Well not quite, there is someone else I think might be and there was er this other person, little mini dress, but the rest male, and not a young guy either, no hair/makeup, just a flat cap! The effect was a little surreal, but I guess gender bending was part of the theme.

After a glass of wine and some awkward sitting around (corset and conversational skills combined) I start doing the round with the camera. Before the entertainment starts Miss Katy, the usual compare has a bit of a pose in a great black outfit.

I got a lot of pictures of Katy that night (I try not to stalk, honest), the camera really liked her (I didn’t complain either). Think they came out rather well, she has good skin (there’s no photoshop required) and knows how to pose.

First act is Red Sarah, doing a queen of hearts number. She has the moves and a lot of work has gone into the props, costume and character, she might not be er exactly size zero, but she proves you don’t need a stereotypically perfect body to create good Burlesque.

They are not going boom boom boom with the acts this time, they are spreading them out, so there’s time for a few more photo’s, the vast majority are quite willing to pose, only one girl is shy.

Next performer is Roise…er not a trad burlesque, but a singer. Good voice, she does some tad burlsequey show tunes and finishes with a bit Gladys Night.

Show, pics, show pics this is sort of how the evening panned out for me, limited the amount of talking I had to struggle with.

After that the C&D regular World Mistress did a little gender twist performance going from soldier to show girl, nice routine and the camera managed to grab a few good shots. Try to move around more this time at C&D and get more angles, being not so busy makes this easier.

The downstairs part isn’t kicking off when I go down, but I do find a few more photo victims. A couple of girls (well one of them mostly, Isabelle facebook tells me, her friend doesn’t want to look at the camera) get into it and there’s almost a mini photo shoot by the pool table and we take 7 or 8 shots, a few turn out rather well.

Oh dam, forgot those cards again! A few people take my email down in there iPhones instead.
After that we had the usual little costume contest and Miss Katy did a lap dance for a lucky girl who had her birthday that day. Thought or a second about mentioning its my birthday soon, but decided against it, I don’t think I would of got a lap dance as I’m not her type. I just continued snapping people.

After that we had more burlesque, there was quite a few this night Miss Violet Crumble did fun and quite topical Wimbledon themed routine, odd facial expressions mindst, though perhaps they where accurate, tennis players can get like that. The tennis ball pasties where a nice touch

After here a pole was erected (Oh Er Missus) for the next performer, Miss Glory Pearl. winner in the recent burlesque new comers competition and in a very much Cabaret themed costume did a rather athletic pole dance for us. She’s a strong lass.

Another girl ran up to the pole after she finished, and did a couple rather good moves, for fun. Had a little chat with her afterward as I’d grabbed a picture and she wanted a copy, Andrea turned out to have done it before Perhaps I should have a go with a pole some time, I’ve tried in a couple places but do little more that swing round on one, not sure I’m strong enough to do anything more exciting.

Last act of the night was Red Sarah again, doing a gender switch routine, starting as a man, performed the worlds fastest GRS and ended up all woman, with twirling tassels of fire.

More acts and more space between them meant it was past midnight by now and I had to go. Had to be up earlyish in makeup free boy mode on Sunday so couldn’t stay late. Get my coat, loosen my corset and change into my flats for the journey home, but actually my feet are not killing me and I’d been in those 3″ heels for the last 4 or 5 hours, though I can’t walk quickly in them they are far more comfortable than they ought to be, I like these shoes. Say my good byes and off into the night, taxi tout calls after me as I leave a few times, but I’m not interested.

Another good Corset & Diamonds, though it has to be said, one of the quieter ones, numbers where well down on the last one, summer the cause? To hot for corsets, too many people on holiday or at festivals or just having laid back barbecues and stuff? Or was it a ridiculous looking t-girl pointing a camera at everyone scaring people off? Dunno, we will see at the next one, which I hear might be at the end of August and might have a Cinderella theme, oh that makes me one of the ugly sisters then.

Walk to the kebab shop on Rosebury Avenue, it’s a nice night, get some chips but to be honest, don’t feel that hungry, the food earlier, the lack of dancing and being laced up all night probably the cause. Pop into the cab office next door with my chips, 5 minutes they say, but spot a bus out of the corner of my eye, hey it’s the one that will take me right home, tell the cab office sorry, I’ll get the bus instead and make a dash for the stop. Make it and get taken home. Can’t finish the chips and a quarter of them go in the bin.

Home, clean up and bed. Next day, only a little lie in then clean every last scrap of makeup off, change the memory card on the camera, pack the birthday presents and its off to Lincolnshire to see the family. Can’t get a seat on the train, can’t even sit in the corridor, totally packed, where’s everyone going Sunday lunchtime?

It’s a long, very hot and tiring day where I feel an outsider, my 3 nephews are there and there parents and grand parents and family friends are all talking nappies, I can’t really join in, not my world, just eat (meat, sorry), drink, play with the dogs, cats and make sure the kids stay out of trouble (nephew M isn’t 2 yet, but he’s the most active little one I’ve ever seen, he was practically running around all day). Do learn I have a niece on the way too though. I’m not sure what they think of me, they don’t as far as I know, know about Helena, so I guess they think my life is rather simple and dull.

Glad to get home really, done my family duty for another few months. Accidentally deleted all the family and animal pictures I took a day or two later, Doh!

Work Monday and Tuesday is a little rushed, wanted to kick back a bit and just update the blog, but well things happened that needed sorting out. That and all the photo’s from Saturday to process as well. Get new bra from M&S on Tuesday lunchtime and get out of work at a reasonable time, only to find massive train problems, endure sweat box stopping train as far as Hampstead, then get out and walk home in the barmy summer evening. Turned out rather nice, time to gather though, get an ice cream in Camden, spot a Heron by the canal and finish with a veggie curry in Islington.

Didn’t manage to finish writing the blog due to work and have only really got around to completing it today, sorry for the delay, but work got in the way Monday and Tuesday and after that things went a little mad for a bit, see part II.