Friday, annual bonus day, good payout this year, this will be the last good annual bonus I get though. Also most of it has to go into the savings anyway, the flat fund. Still a little left aside for bit and pieces, a chance glance at a web site just after Friday lunch showed a local shop had the lens I wanted, a full frame 18-35 f3.5-4.5 zoom 2nd hand for a good saving over new, right I’m having that, been after a wide angle zoom for the D700 for landscape shots etc. And there’s still a bit left for clothes Get a pink tee shirt from Punky Fish on the way home, in the sale, great design on it, but an odd sort of zip near the shoulder I wasn’t to sure about. Get a very cheep pink tee from Watford market in case the  Punky Fish one didn’t work as well and pick up an over sized sort of top/tee/batwing/dress thingy in white with a girls face on it from the stall while I’m at it, as well, it just looked quite nice. Tried them on at home (er not really going to try them on in store  in boy mode am I), Punky fish tee shirt really works and fits well, cheap pink shirt is to small (and it was the large size, sob), can only just get into it, but white dress/top fits nicely and I think could work rather well as part of a clubbing outfit.

Saturday, right lets go and spend the rest of that bonus and the Gypsy Hotel in Dalston is on again, can do that in the evening. Up and dressed by 9:30, quick for a change, wore that Punky Fish Tee with a black suit jacket, white skinny jeans and gold ballet pumps. Line pumps with gel strips and pads to stop them rubbing and add little rose to the jacket lapel because I felt it needed a bit more something. Think outfit looks good and should be comfortable and cool, though tum shows a bit sometimes

It’s a bit early for the shops, so let’s take a quick simple photo. Quick simple photo on the stairs gets more complicated as I try to get it just right, eventually moving down to the next landing (neighbours weren’t in), rearranging furniture, setting up a speed light with a brolly and generally faffing around, so it took over an hour. But I quite liked the shots, something a little different and you could put a little story into them, so keep more than usual.

Used the new wide zoom for them, it was a little short even at its long end, so they are all cropped a bit, but it doesn’t do to badly at a full length portrait lens, not exactly razor sharp, but good enough.

Pack things to go out, decide against taking big camera, well the light doesn’t look great and its so big and heavy with that new lens, pack little G9 instead. Make sure I pack a brolly too, weather forecast says rain.

Out by 11ish, during my shopping on Friday I spotted a couple of things in New Look I liked but didn’t get, well I leave something for Saturday, so first call was to be New Look in Dalston to get them. Bus going that way wasn’t even on the indicator board so decided to walk it, well I’m in flats and the sun had actually just come out (But there are rain clouds up there too). Flats feel a touch odd, it’s the thinness of the soles especially compared to male shoes, there’s very little cushioning, it’s almost like walking barefoot.

Wander down the quite streets parallel to the railway to Dalston, hey that’s new, looks like a trendy coffee shop. Think this is a sign of the trendification of Dalston, its sort of moving down from the better bits of Stoke Newington and up from Shoreditch which has got too expensive. Articles like this just confirm the up and coming status, though I guess if its being written about now, the really cool people will of moved on elsewhere. Though I know from experience (its only the next borough over) that it has always has quite a cool area (in a run down sort of way) with an easy going, lively, multicultural vibe, one reason why I’ve never had any problems going out there. Actually I’d read a review in Metro for a bar/cafe in Dalston during the week, the Dalston Superstore, sounded achingly hip polysexual  arty farty and generally rather too cool, more of this Dalston being up and coming and all that. This was another reason I was heading to Dalston, thought I might try the Superstore for lunch, if they let a stupid looking old fart like me in.

Trip on a paving slab on the way, don’t fall, but ouch, pumps offer no protection take it off to check toe is OK, it is, but loose bit of gel strip doing so.

Shops first, little loop through Peacocks (Dalston/Kingsland Peacocks actually one of the best examples of that chain), Dotty P and the shoe shops in the shopping centre and finally into the little New Look. Find the jeggings (denim print “jean” leggings, have spotted quite a few of these about and thought I’d give them a go) and the top I fancied. Cept they only have the top in 18, I’m not that big (yet :() asks the assistant if they have a 14 , she tries to scan it with there hand held terminal, doesn’t work so she gets a colleague to run up to the stock room to check visually. No, no more size 14’s sold out, very sorry. Oh well, just buy the jeggings. Good customer service though. Find later at home I’d picked up size 8 leggings by mistake, damm, wont even go over my feet, have to take them back and exchange.

Few more shops, find a little stretchy shinny tiny black mini in Matalan that looked fun (bit risqué for Matalan that), get that, spot wig in PAK’s that’s well a maybe, but nah and get some more gel strips (shoe had started rubbing after I lost that one) and some of that new Protect and Serve (or what ever its called) Intense Serum from Boots (Supposed to give younger looking skin, doubt it will work on me, but I’m so desperate I’ll try anything) and but not much else.

Lunch time, let’s find that superstore, ah over there, smaller than I though. Ground floor seems to be a café in the day and DJ bar by night  (with a club bit is downstairs I think), looks a bit rough edged and mismatched, but that’s the urban shabby chic look. Looks pleasant enough, its not busy and the staff are friendly, order a salmon burger and a glass of wine and settle down with a new book.

Wine comes in a sort of tumbler, not a wine glass, odd. Customers look mostly youngish, arty/trendy, probably all work as something in the media and are apple worshipers. Few move on, few arrived. Two girls sit on the table next to me, they look completely natural, but there’s something in the pitch of their voices that tweaks my T-dar slightly, dunno, perhaps I’m looking to hard these days.

Food arrives, and its rather good, tuck in as daintily as I can manage. Get another glass of wine and continue with the book, the new one from Jaine Fenn (who I saw at Sci Fi London), its rather good. Nibble the last of the chips and bread, sip the wine and finish another couple of chapters, a nice long lazy lunch.

The Dalston Superstore seems a very pleasant place for lunch and its no where near as pretentious as I feared. Wonder what is like in the evening? Anyway still got to find that top from New Look, gets get on. Next nearest NewLook was Holloway, a reasonable walk from Dalston, but I needed to work off those calories, and the sun was out (where’s this rain?) so lets hoof it.

All this up and comming coolness got me thinking a little, sorry. Why can’t T girls be cool, “Looking like a tranny” is a common way to describe a badly dressed woman and the makeup, well I saw an interview with Katy Perry on the Times web site today who jokingly said she did her makeup so heavily it was “1 step below tranny” and all sorts of negative connotations like that abound. Problem is a rubbish tranny (like me) is easily spotted, we look silly and oblivious, good trannys are never spotted as trannies, cause they look just like women, so only the rubbish ones are ever seen by the public, and so thus we are all rubbish and soi an object of ridicule. But the 98% of those that do go out, I guess, do not want to be clocked, we do not want to be seen as a tranny (I certainly don’t want to), being seen as regular member of the desired gender is what its all about, so we can’t expect the good ones to out themselves just to raise the profile can we. Drag queens, genderqueer, Gay, Lesbian etc can be cool and they can be out, but us lot, well I feel a bit doomed sometimes.

As I head back I find that coffee shop again, Tina, We Salute you  odd name, but it’s packed with groovy young Dalstonites having cake and coffee. Pop in for a look, the cup cakes look too nice, get one, Thank you Darling says the guy behind the counter happily as he hands me my change Cake is good. Really have to walk off those calories now.

Tis quite a trek to Holloway, but I wanted to go to Camden after I got that top and there’s a bus from there also. Day going OK so far, feet and shoes seems to be OK now, reaction wise, virtually nothing, though it could be said I was more andro than female and the weather was holding, all feels rather good actually. Now I just had to get that top.

But the Holloway branch is even smaller than Dalston and they don’t have it. Arrggg. It’s a mission now, I have to get that top, no quitting now, so where next, hrmm, tube is nearby, 3 stops and I’m at Russell Square where there’s the bigger Brunswick branch, they must have it.

Yes they do have the top, success. Its more dress length, in grey and black with a lettering and a female face on the front, think it will work well with contrasting pink so get some pink opaque cropped tights to go with and look for a pink vest to wear under it (it could be worn off the shoulder I reckon, so needs vest underneath), can’t find the right one though. Carry on around the store.

Stop looking at jackets, look you don’t need another jacket, no not even that really cute black suit jacket, the one with the stripy lining and rolled up sleeves, yes it did look really good on the GG you saw on Friday, but no you already have to many and you would probably need a 16 anyway and they only have 14’s. But it wouldn’t hurt to try it on would it? I think in a moment of weakness. 14 Does fit, just, bit tight, but dam, it looks better than the one I had on. Oh sod it, I’ve got the bonus, buy it as well. Now I just need a bigger wardrobe.

Ok shopping mission over, let’s just go to Camden and have a browse/ There is a little food fair thingy going on at the bruswick, but I’m still full from the burger and cake, so just get some juice.

Don’t feel like walking to Camden, have walked enough, get bus.

Bus goes right through Camden, so walk back towards town, stopping at all the usual haunts. Costume shop doesn’t have the female Star Trek outfits have to keep looking for that. But a sales assistant in the shop does refer to me as Miss :)  Round and round the markets, like that, but nah, that, well maybe, that, possibly, but generally nothing has to be bought, shopping mission is complete. Well apart from a black denim mini from a vintage place. Which doesn’t fit when I get it home, well it does, but has to sit on the waist not the hips,and its really to short for that I really don’t believe its 33″ as it states, unless they have smaller inches )perhaps it shrunk in the wash?). Oh well was only a fiver.

Do get an idea for a gothic Lolita outfit with a long frock coat for the Magic Theatre though, but will put that on hold for a bit, the next event hasn’t even been announced (though the organisers have asked me to come along to the next one and take even more photos but IU was going to do that anyway) .

The construction on the stables market continues, more is open and new stalls and shops have appeared, surprised there’s enough demand from retailers to fill it all. The re-development isn’t to bad, think they have overdone the stables motif a bit, there’s huge horse statues everywhere and its still a bit to clean and modern, it should be a little more grubby and earthy IMHO.

Had a better look around the canal side market that has reopened after it burnt down (well bits of it burnt down) it is a lot cleaner and bigger now, though a couple of my favourite places haven’t returned. They have gone for a Lion and Union Jack motif with sort of half scooters as seats near the food stands, again, not sure it works 100%.

Fancy some ankle boots, there’s some new rock ones in a shop that look nearly right but they never have my size do they. Salesman asks if I need help and I say have you those in 42 or 43. To my surprise he says yes and runs off to get them. They never seem to have my size when I’m in male mode, hrrmm. But they don’t actually have my size after all, he brings back some knee length ones instead, sorry not what I was looking for.

Times been getting on and the weathers turning, do find pink vest to match the tights I got earlier n Select. Tried them all on at home later, the top, the vest and the tights and you know, I don’t think it actually works that well, its not right, perhaps It would be better all black and grey, dunno. All that effort and it doesn’t look good, oh well. But that cheep white top got from that market and Friday and the shinny little Matalan skirt rock together, so the off chance purchases work better than the planned ones, that’s how it goes sometimes.

Was just wandering around H&M, spot me self in the mirror by chance (as if) and oh, makeup doesn’t look good, shinny and there are cracks and few crumbs on it from lunch ::( Quick blot helps a little, but still am look pretty rough, that partly explains the increased number of looks I’m getting. Better head home then

Walk back to the overground station, its not sunny, but still I’m warm and tired. Stop at GU opposite the station for refreshment. Try the Bulmers/Magnors/Whateveritis pear cider for a change and cause they serve it with ice. Hits the spot nicely, settle on a sofa in the bar with my drink for another couple of chapters of the book. Another? No better get home, cross road to station. Have to wait 5 minutes for the train and the promised rain has finally arrived, hide in the little shelter until the train pull up.

But the rain has stopped by the time I get to my station and the sun is out again. Decide I don’t want the salmon meal I had in the fridge for dinner as I just had salmon (it will last until Monday), so pop into Tesco Metro on the way home, pick up bread, wine, a veggie curry, stuff for breakfast etc and pay up. Checkout guy calls me Sir, oh well, it didn’t sound malicious, guess he just said it like he saw it, I was in fairly andro clothes and failing makeup Definitely home time now.

Back home, wells its about 5:30, and didn’t have to be at the Gypsy Hotel until 9, so lets put the feet up for a bit. End up lying on my bed, still dressed, reading the book, sipping wine and eating masala peas, oh its only seven, tired, but still plenty of time, I’ll just rest my eyes for a sec and boom, out like a light.

When I wake up its 9:30, there’s a makeup stain on the pillow and I can’t find my glasses. It’s to late to spruce my self and get to Dalston again, plus go out, can’t without my glasses anyway, where the F**K are they and I’m still really tired anyway. Just clean off the makeup change into PJ’s and go to bed, lets have an early night, no clubbing for me this week.

Find my glasses in the morning, eventually. Now if I could just find my Oyster card as well. For the rest of the day do laundry, sort out photo’s, wash up, buy loo roll,  put out recycling (that’s a scary number of wine bottles you!), go out to see a film, decide I don’t want to see a film when I get there, go home and watch Battlestar Galatica and Top Gear instead. And eat and drink far too much

Next week its Corset and Diamonds again, but will have to be careful with that one, as I have to be at my parents the next day for a family do, awake, sober and completely free of makeup. And I really really must try on the outfit before Saturday this time.

I’ve been thinking about labels, TV, CD, TS, Drag Queen etc and really how useless they are, I’ve spoken to numerous trans gendered people in my time and heard most peoples stories, motivations and needs appear to be subtly different, people are individual, not clones, so a handful labels just doesn’t work.

So how do we classify ourselves if simple labels don’t work. Well since I’m much more of a visual person than a words person, how about with an image I thought. So how to visual our position in the big pink fog of transgendered, well get some raw data on the various aspects and visualise it?

One of my current tasks at work at the moment is to create visually impressive data dashboards for senior management to allow them to easily see current business positions and to react quickly if they need to. basically if thing are bad show big unhappy face and if things are good, show smiley happy face. This way if senior management see things are bad with an unhappy face they can react immediately and demand subordinates fix things right away. After that they can assume they have done there job and go back to there main occupation which is thinking up more ways to pay themselves more money.

But these tools can be put to other uses, so I created one today (it was slow afternoon) that can create a sort of radar graph to create a shape from on a number of aspects of trans gendered feelings. Its nothing serious, just a thought experiment, and it still need refining, the various categories are probably to simplistic and to few.

But have a play if you like, the link should be on the left in the pages section under Trans Shapes or click or here . It requires a shockwave flash pluggin to run.

After a week of madness alternating with boredom and eating and drinking to much I got out of work pretty early on Friday, off to the shops then Bought a battery grip and a TTL cord for big camera, the idea is the grip makes it easier to hold in portrait mode (90% of my pics are that way around), and it holds a second battery so you can shoot for even longer, also it gives the camera that real pro look The TTL cord means I can hold the flash off camera angled up, that, with a diffuser on it, should make the flash much softer but portable (unlike the CLS/Brolly/Lightstand setups I often use at home) and still use the clever automatic iTTL flash mode. Also bought some more makeup, well a bouy/girl balance has to be kept.

Saturday and er lets not change till later, as I said before (I think), The Magic Theatre has returned to the Rivoli Ballroom in Brockley, it’s a lovely quirky venue, but a bit of a pain to get to for me, so I’d booked a hotel nearby for the night. Plus a night in nice hotel is a bit of a break from my crummy flat (hello, I was in a hotel last weekend). But I don’t have a credit card with Helena on it (yet) so had to book in Ian’s name. This made me nervous about going in girl mode with a male reservation (yeah I know it doesn’t really mater, humour me), didn’t mind so much doing that at the Camp (like last week), because they must be used to it, but I wasn’t keen on doing it at the much posher and straighter 4* Novatel Greenwich. Wus.

So I was travelling in boy mode and changing there. Up to early, well I had to pack, was going with the “Contessa de Marmalade” huge burgundy/black Gothic/Marie Antoinette outfit I wore to Corset and Diamonds a few months ago, well its just the sort of thing for the Magic Theatre and given how much it all cost, it needs to get out a few more times. Going through which tights to wear with it I decided none of the (lots and lots) of pairs of black tights I had where just right (and not laddered), so quick dash to the shops was on order. Up to Holloway and the old Selby department store, these old no chain department stores are a dying breed, because, to be honest, most of them are rubbish and exist in a time warp, but this one does have a good hosiery section and its nearby. Get some 20 denier black tights, (denier over 15 is hard to find in summer), buying fem clothes in boy mode is always a slightly weird experience, but we have to do what we have to do, and to bet honest, shop staff don’t really care, a sale is a sale. Also some get some cherry red nail varnish in Boots next door (almost) as none I had appeared to work with the outfit. Sales girl on the No7 counter has great eye makeup. Walk the long way round Finsbury Park way to get home, just to look in a few more shops and get a bit of exercise.

Home, case packed, and ah that’s why it feels so heavy, it wasn’t lead bricks after all, a wheel has buckled and is now rubbing against the body, making it very stiff to rotate. Try to bend it back, no luck, so use a file and some WD40 to try and free it up a bit. Helps a bit, but only a bit, I feel my trusty old case might have to be retired to just a clothing case (actually normally it stores by belt collection when it’s at home) and a new traveling case purchased.

Right off to Greenwich, miss first bus by 10 seconds, but another turns up 2 minutes later. Get to station, train in 3 minutes, bit of a rush but make it and here we are pretty Greenwich again. Hotel has my booking and the room is ready (good cause I’m early). Nice room, crap view though, looks right at the station platform, how scenic.

Unpack, that’s a lot of stuff just for one night out! So what have I forgotten this time, hrmm hrrrm ah, hair brush, better go an get another one, well I’d lost one recently so a replacement was in order anyway. Better get something for dinner too, so off into town. Wow it is sunny, summers back? (for a couple of days anyway)

Wander around the market, just really to look at the food stalls really. Its really nice looking stuff, but for immediate consumption mostly, think I’ll go to M&S for packaged food for later.

Don’t forget the hair brush, over to Superdrug, there’s a suitable hair brush (well it will be mostly be a wig brush), oh hair grips and bands, I’d forgotten them too, better get some more (I’m always loosing them anyway, so it’s good to have a stock). I need hairgrips to hold my own hair up under a syrup. Turns into a bit of shop really, find some black rose hair accessories that will work with the outfit as well.

M&S, find some nice salad and juice, try to be healthy, what’s with the queue though? Afterwards wander over to the river and do the tourist bit for a few minutes.

Better be getting back, give my self plenty of time to change, don’t want to rush, but stop a Somerfield’s for bread and wine first (I can’t live on just salad)

Shower, shave (cut myself as I forgot to apply the Skin Difference lotion earlier), do nails with the new stuff (and remember the fast dry spray this time), change into undies (don’t want to get into the full wedding cake dress in case I spill something on it when doing makeup). Do face, very pale, new tub of NW15 Studio Fix powder got on Friday helps, red lips, minimal eyes and add a black heart beauty mark, which should be been smaller and on the left cheek. Do my period makeup to the sounds from a rock festival on Radio one, a slightly odd combination, but it appears to work

Outfit on, corset as tight as I can manage, try the skirt over it, its rather big and even done up tightly its rather to big for my waist, over the corset makes it a bit more secure, find looking at the photos later it made me look fatter on with the jacket, hard to zip up lace sleeves, lace gloves, roses, rings etc. all together its rather heavy, plus its all synthetic and a bit hot. Experiment with hair, try the blonde wigs, but nah, go back to the period one. Right, photo’s

Put grip on the camera and try to pack it all. It’s a very tight squeeze in my bag. Get it all out again, try holding it up with the flash on the cord, OMG its heavy, can I cart this around all night in a corset, a 2 ton burgundy wedding cake skirt and a bucket of lace? No I couldn’t, damm. Remove the grip to reduce the weight and size, but its still heavy but that’s all I can remove, will have to manage with it like this. Grip proved to be a slightly wasted purchase, will have to find more uses for it.

All done and have some time to kill before I want to go, relax (as best you can in a corset) and watch the Simpsons the telly. So how am I actually going to get there, I’d brought some black jeans and a coat, original thinking was I wear my usual hair, exchange the skirt for the jeans and wear a coat over the top to travel and change back when I got there. But I’d consumed 3/4 of a bottle of not so great Chardonnay whilst getting ready and now felt a bit “brave”. So the jeans and coat go in a bag and I trot down to reception in the full regalia.

Ask the receptionist for a taxi, she’s completely professional and orders me one right away, think she was fighting a smile though. Hotel guests look, but no one says a word. Barely have time to check my mail on the public web terminal (couldn’t get the room WiFi to work) and the Taxi arrives. Driver comes in to reception and I’m pointed out to him, he is ever so slightly taken a back, but recovers, leads me out to his cab, and drives me to the Rivoli. He doesn’t really chat much but he does tell me I look smart.

The driver stops just opposite the Ballroom, I pay and bid him good night. Have to cross the road, 25 metres up is a zebra crossing, better use that, so down the street, cross and back to the ballroom, in plain sight of about a dozen people and various car drivers and its only about 8:30 and still light. Not a word, a few looks, but not a word. I have a theory about going out like this, if you go totally OTT and look like you are just dressing up, like totally outrageous drag, a wonder woman costume or gothic wedding cake Marie Antoinette dress etc people will mostly accept you as you are not trying to “fool” them and they guess it’s just a costume for a party or what ever. It’s sort of the opposite of dressing down to blend in, you will get noticed, but no one will really mind much.

And we are in, pay up, park bag, check makeup, yes still on and Cinders has made it to the ball. Which is a bit empty to be honest and no one is dancing. Still the night is young, get a drink, bar prices are still shockingly cheap. Right somewhere to sit, ah there’s familiar faces, Anthea and Debe, they recognise me too. Anthea has already found a group of young GG’s to chat to (she has a gift with GG’s) and I sort of invite myself to join them all (more slightly drunken bravado here). We have a little chat and watch the fabulous people arriving.

Cameras comes out after a bit, well what do you expect. Stat touring the hall looking for victims.

Spot Lexy and introduce here to Anthea and Debe, see Susan as well, but that’s about it for the people I actually have met before. Spot some of the TV Chix crowd, and there’s a group of Boudettes in the corner and recognise a few faces from previous Theatre nights, but half the crowd are new to me. Am not brave enough to try and talk to any of them though (booze only works so much), but mange to get a few to pose for pics

Music’s getting better and the entertainment starts, there’s a sort of group on first, they play a short set and then the main band comes on for the first set, it’s the Roadhouse 5, like the first couple of Magic Theatres. Did take a few pics of the first group and chatted to them, they are, I think, called the Pink Crowbar Cabaret, and work as sort of a band/performance poets/party floorwalkers and general sort of eccentric Bon Vivant’s. Can’t get much info on google about them, but they have quite a look.

Have a bit of a boogie to the music between drinks and photo talking (stalking?) sessions. This dress is getting rather warm, and wine is swapped for drinks with lost of ice in them and as the night went on the drinks got swapped for ones with even more ice and no alcohol in them, didn’t feel like getting any drunker. Shoes didn’t hurt for a change though, cheepo low heel Mary Janes from Shoe zone are actually quite comfortable.

Mostly I dance alone, or nominally next to on of the t-girls I sort of know, but one woman (G), bit older than most (so she’s probably about my age) does have a bit a dance with me. Spot here later having a number of dances with a number of t-girls, seems we have a bit of an admirer :). Music is variable, but there’s enough to dance to and its fund to swish that big skirt around. Its had got busier now (10-11ish?) and more are dancing, but its not to crowded, glad, cause I needed room to manoeuvre in my oversized costume. Lights went further down though, it’s quite dark on the dance floor, strobes and lasers wouldn’t work here, wrong period, but a mirror ball and a few coloured lights to dance under wouldn’t go amiss. Camera struggles a bit in the poorer light too, hunts to focus and has to flash harder.

More people, more pics.

(The pic of the girl in the red military latex dress was the best of the night IMHO)

Oh hot now, retire for the bar and a sit down, find Susan, Lexy, Debe and another girl I didn’t know, have a bit of a chat and er a few more photo’s. The new girl (me, names, doesn’t happen) is a bit of a photographer and has a film (brave person) Nikon SLR. I ask her to snap me, after explaining to her how to hold the camera and flash (tis a bit awkward)

Not a bad pic,thanks er photo girl in the black and white dress. Should of put my bag down and taken off my glasses though. Make ups still on, good. One girl I saw commented that I looked like a mannequin, I’ll take that as a complement, I wanted to look pale and flawless. Had to fix the makeup on my nose a couple of times (studio fix to the rescue), must of rubbed of on the camera when I held it up.

The compare comes on later, must be around midnight now, and gets all the pretty and well dressed girls to parade around the dance floor, led by Claire the night’s organiser. OMG that’s Claire, she had a wig on and a veil and had gone from a wedding dress to a corset/stockings wedding night sort of outfit. I didn’t recognise her most of the night even though I’d been taking her pictures, oops. Decide the parade is best served my me shooting pics, not taking part. But my lens isn’t really long enough and the light hard work.

After that our compare does a little Liza Minnelli /Cabaretesque turn (she had the outfit for it) and introduces the band for there last set. The band have a T-girl singer on for a couple of numbers first, name?

To hot now, try popping outside for some fresh air, but with all the smokers outside it isn’t very fresh. Tired too, dress and heavy camera have been hard work. By about 12:30 decide to call it a night, the night only runs till 1am but I’m so tired. Anyway, going a bit early means I can beat the rush to the taxis.

It’s a good night, not as busy as it was (for II and III anyway), but worth supporting, a great venue and attitude, a place for any one of any age, race, gender, sexuality or gender presentation to have fun, dress very up and dance the night away. Should be back to the next one, which might be September, hope the word gets out about it.

Get bag, do I want to change into jeans and coat, nah, let’s go back like this. Cross road to the taxi office and order a cab. Not a problem, cab available almost immediately and the driver takes me straight back to the hotel. Calls me “Love” too. How did he know ? Anyway he got a tip for it. Guess 6′ trannies coming out of a ballroom gone midnight in enormous gothic period dresses and powdered wigs is a common occurrence around here. Well it could be? Or it’s that OTT effect in action again.

Back to the hotel, think about going into town for chips, but that would be pushing it wouldn’t it. No back in, though reception and back to my room. Right lets get out of this lot, need to cool off. I have an interesting pattern imprinted on my stomach from the lace top and corset. Clean up, bite to eat and crash.

Up at 7:30, well that’s a late in for me. Don’t have the clothes with me (or the tranny power left really) to do girl, so its scruffy old bloke again. Go into town for breaky, (cheaper than the hotel) find a cafe and have a huge veggie fry up, you pig! Back, pack, checkout, train, bus and bus and we are home. Spend the rest of the day sorting out the photo’s and eating far to much unhealthy food and drink

I have to be good now for at least two weeks, another corset night is on the 28th. There should be a few good nights out early July to, so that just leaves next weekend free, better have a quiet one (but then there’s the Gypsy Hotel…).

Got laundry and chores sorted on Friday whilst working from home, as I knew there wouldn’t be time/energy at the weekend. What kind of person sends you mail at 4:00 on Friday afternoon telling to do stuff urgently? Oh well all got sorted in the end.

Saturday up, change, makeup and dress. Makeup goes on nice with that new MAC buffer brush, pity it kept shedding hairs though, had to keep picking them out of my foundation with tweezers, for the price you would think MAC brushes would be a bit better made. Outfit was all planned on Friday, so its all goes together quickly and I’m ready by 10. Which is a bit early as my train was at 12:13. Was feeling nervous, why? dunno, I’ve done this all before.

This weekend was a return trip to Pink Punters near Milton Keynes with Louise and a few others, every thing I could think of was packed (inc the camera and assorted bits) into my case (so no piccy). Assume I’d forgotten something, I always do, but couldn’t think what it was, think I even managed to get the kitchen sink in there.

Noodle on the web for well a bit to long, and get out of the flat slightly later than planned, so it’s a bit of a rush to get to the station, get a sandwich and a ticket and board the train. Made it with 2 minutes to spare and had a carriage to myself.

Eat my sarnie and read my book, train is fast and on time and we are in Bletchley in about 40 minutes. What London Midland on time? Now I could of walked to the hotel from here, but well, I had the case and was feeling a bit lazy, so over the bridge to another platform and a noisy little train whisks me to Fenny Stratford. Nation rail enquires website said I could get this train back to Bletchley on Sunday to, but the time table outside the station doesn’t seem to agree with that, which was right?

5 minutes walk from the station in the light rain and we are back at the Camp . Takes 2 minutes for a receptionist to appear, but she’s nice and the room is available (good cause I’m technically 45 minutes early for check in), my name comes up on the booking as Mr I but she doesn’t bat and eyelid and calls me darling.

Unpack, cup of coffee and take the photo.

Outline for the day was shopping with Louise at 2, dinner around 7:30 and then over to the club at 10:30, still had a little time to kill before Lou arrived, so out with the book again.

Its getting towards 2:30 and Louise hadn’t called, was getting a bit nervous, perhaps I ‘d got the plan wrong, find what I think is her number and send a text. Relief, was right number and she’s just arrived.

Meet her in the hallway she’s chatting to a guy I don’t recognise, turned out to be Kay Denise in drab. That’s quite a change she has. Leave Lou to unpack and wait in the bar with a paper.

There she is, here we go. Public transport is a bit limited out here in car land, I guess I could of taken a train back to Bletchley station, then another to  Milton Keynes, then a bus to the shopping centre from the station, but that would of taken ages and cost a bit, so I’m glad of the lift in Louise’s car. I forget how useful they can be outside London.

Follow the signs to “Shopping”, yes the main shopping centre just appears to be called that, MK is just that bit odd, it take blandness to a higher level.

Ah yes cars, you do have to park these things afterwards don’t you, it takes a couple of laps of the car park to find a spot. Out the car, over the road into the centre, rain has stopped, but I get dripped on. Inside and first task is to find Lou a nail bar, computerised touch screen thingy doesn’t help, but nice security guard does, he says there’s one in the Market. Well I know where the market is, off we trot. The centre is busy and it’s hard to stay together have to keep dodging out of the way of people. Duo shopping, not really done much of this, I’m usually a soloist.

Get to the market quite quickly, my snowboarding came in useful here (no not because of particular board skills, its just the fact I often pop into the shopping centre after visits to the Snowdome and learnt the layout) . Does take us a bit of a search for the nail bar. Nail bar in a market, that’s unusual, was the guard right? Turns out he was, we find it, but it’s full of people, so Lou decides against it.

Back in to the centre and Louise walks back the way we came, only when we cover half the Mall do I get to ask where she wants to go. For a coffee and a bite to eat? Ahh, the nice place with the great cakes is back that way, so we turn around and walk down the same hallway, for the third time. Oops.

But that place really does do nice cakes, Louise gets one and a coffee,  I don’t fancy one now but get one for later and just have a cappuccino and there’s a free table. We talk a bit, but she seems to have a case of iPhone Twitteritis and has to Tweet a picture of here Pecan Danish to her followers. I just watch the world go by whilst this goes on, my stupid phone can’t do that sort of thing anyway.

What next? New Look and H&M, ah, that back down that way, so down that corridor for the 4th time. We must have been noticed. Well I think we are a little, I’m clocked as always, but its not comments, just a few little knowing glances from GG’s, Lou gets less (I probably got her noticed) because she looks more natural, has her own hair and is closer to average height. I was a little worried about going out here, as it’s a new town, but MK does appear to be tranny ambivalent, I guess PP (esp with the BNO once a month) has increased the number of Trans people being seen out and about in these parts.

Into the other part of the mall, Midsummer place to find New Look, it’s a big one, and very crowded, nowt takes our eye. Same in Miss Selfridge and Debenhams. But we do find another nail bar in Debenhams, but it’s busy too. Business opportunity here I think, MK needs more nail bars.

Over to H&M, we both get those Aids Charity Dita Von Tease Tee Shirts, there’s only one size 14 (Hennies can be rubbish like that) so I let Louise have that and get a 12 for myself (Checked later, it does fit, just, stitching is poor though). We do a tour of the shop, it has the haphazard feeling story based layout like all H&M’s so you have to look everywhere to find something (I suppose that’s the idea).  Find a shinny white silk (real silk!) blouse for myself (managed to resist the jackets) and Louise finds another blouse for herself.

It’s about time we where getting back so head towards the car, little detour through Price Less though, sorry Lou.

We pass the library on our way out, there’s an interesting statue of 2 girls whispering outside it. Photo opportunity.

Wrong turn and we are not sure which way is back to Fenny Stratford, I insist I know the direction and tell Louise just to go that way, which works, for a bit, but then I make the wrong call, Louise ignores me and takes the correct turn off the roundabout and we are back in Bletchley near the retail park.

Ask to be let out near Tesco’s, but this forces Louise to get off the right road, sorry Dash around Tesco’s to, get some bits and pieces, water, bread, crisps cause I know I’ll be hungry after the club and in the morning. Also get cash back, need to make sure I can pay for dinner and the club.

Walk back to the hotel with my shopping. Seem to be noticed, couple of horns biped and a guy was just staring at me out of the window of his black (with pink kiss stickers on it, hrrmm) Peugeot.

Back at the hotel, still a little time before dinner, long enough to put another coat of varnish on my nails (it had got a little chipped). It was a garish pink colour, didn’t go with my current outfit, but should go with the clubbing one. After applying it was then I discovered that I’d forgotten the spray that dry’s the nail varnish faster wave hands about for a bit and try the hair drier on them to see if that helps. Takes a while before I reckon they are dry enough, so I’m a bit late to meet the girls in the bar.

Most are already there when I get to the bar, Louise, Kay and Sophie. Louise I knew, I might of met Kay at the meal we had here in December but Sophie was new. But I did know here in away, she’s commented on so many of my (and lots of other people) pics on Flickr and the like and is very active online so I felt I knew here a bit. We where waiting for one more, Lucy, there was another for dinner, Kimberly, but she was meeting us at the restaurant.

Lucy turns up and we have a glass of wine and a chat whilst we wait for the Taxi’s. The odd picture might have been taken too, but none of mine are worth keeping. Taxi’s turn up on time this time and its back to MK for dinner. We where returning to the Orchid Lounge Thai restaurant, as  the foods good and the atmosphere nice, but the Taxi driver drives right past the it, we speak up after he passes a couple of roundabouts,  unsure where he was going, oh that Orchid Lounge he says, you should of said the Kaipur (the Indian restaurant bellow the Orchid Lounge) as we all know where that is.

Make it in the end, another glass of wine and their very good complementary crackers for a sec while we wait for the anothers (was in the 1st cab) and the table. Doesn’t take long, all here, good, let’s eat.

I’m the only veggie (ish) but the girls don’t mind ordering one of the veggie set meals as well as the meat ones, thanks. Food is good, in fact I think its better than last time, coconut vegetable curry is not my taste, but the mushroom dish is great, the Tofu very meaty and savoury and the Pak Choi really crunchy. Phew, stuffed. Don’t think anyone went hungry. Service was fast and friendly too. Think the staff recognised us from last time.

Bit of after dinner high junks and click, click, clickerty click went the camera’s we all had, well apart from Kimberly, who has a little more decorum.

 Bill was very reasonable too, good meal out that. Order a few taxi’s to take us back, but we have to wait a few minutes, more clickerty camera clicks.

On the balcony, Louise, Kay and Kim had started chatting with a group of young GG’s there, group photo’s all round. Kim and one the other girls appeared to be wearing almost the same shoes, total photo opp.

Taxi’s back to the hotel, why was it a pound cheaper? Time to change in to the clubbing outfit, platform heels, bubblegum pink leggings, a large white logoed tee-shirt (Glam Star Love Forever) and the Barbie blonde hair. Slap on a bit more makeup and take a pic or twelve.

Pic is a bit over exposed, but that was intentional, hides a few things, my face wasn’t looking good, dunno if it was due to the long day or just cause I’m old. But what the hell, I’ve come this far, no backing out now, off to the club looking rubbish, strut across the road, down the steep slope and up the stairs. No queue to get in and its pretty quiet inside, guess I’m early, its not even 11 yet. But the others where already here in the attic bar.

Didn’t recognise Kay for a sec, hair and outfit was different, Sophie had changed to, into a fair bit less. Drink and chat for a bit before going down. Ahh bit busier now.

Spend the next er well I forget how long dancing around, drinking, taking photo’s and the like. No one really wants to dance with me though, a few smile and one gives me a mini cheddar (!) but that’s about attention wise, I must be minging hard, its not like it was at Christmas.  No Abba, but most of the tunes are the usual party ones, the Time Warp goes down well

Return back upstairs later, my feet hurt, those shoes, arrg, had sent a while putting little gel pads on everywhere in them that could rub or hurt on Friday, didn’t help much. Take them off, go barefoot for a bit. Another bit of a chat, another vodka redbull and a few photo’s

Getting late now, one last turn before I go, put the nasty shoes back on. But before I have a dance use the free internet terminal, yep the National rail enquries website does say there is a train from Fenny Stratford on the 7th. Have my last few turns around the upstairs dance floor and call it a night, its about 2. Hobble back to the hotel, don’t try to cut across the grassy ditch like last time.

Slap and shoes off and have a little bite to eat, glad I went to Tesco. Think there is a business opportunity for a kebab or chicken shop next to PP. All that food though…

Sunday morning, lie in till almost 8. Didn’t bring any boy clothes with me, so it’s back into Helena mode for the journey home. Hot shower and a surprisingly easy shave on what little stubble there is. Makeup, go for minimal, do eyes, then the foundation and er where is the NW20 Studio tech, I sure I packed it, opps. Another thing I forgot, arrggg. Have to make do the NW15 is usual use for highlights and darken it a bit with powder. But it doesn’t turn out to bad. Dress, lazy safe jeans and a stretchy top. Eat that cake I got the day before for breaky with hotel room coffee. Shouldn’t of, feel and look really fat, that top does me no favours

Ready by 10, fast, triple check, yes have got everything, inc the NW20 which I found after doing the makeup. Meet Sophie on the way out, shes in Drab, take a second to recognise her, another big change there. Hi Sophie lovely to finally meet you on Saturday.

Checkout, girl on reception thinks there are trains today, so that’s 2 out of 3 for the trains, decide to risk it, walk up the hill to the station.

Train I saw listed on the web was 10:33, I was a little early so wait it out. As I wait an older gentleman walks by, he notices me and says “I don’t think there are any trains on a Sunday unless they are running a special”. Guess he must be local. Oh, I said, but the website and lady in hotel thought there was. He said he wasn’t absolutely sure, but shows me an intercom that connects to the train line’s information service (the station isn’t manned. I thank him and he goes on his way. Push the button on the intercom, wait, no reponse. Damm. But there’s another sign, if the intercom doesn’t work try this number. Try this number on my mobile, just as I’m about to hang up after it rings for 10 times a voice answers, it is the information line. “Is there a train from Fenny Stratford to Bletchley on a Sunday” I ask in my best girly voice (which was completely unnecessary being alone on a station platform talking to someone who can’t see me), “No service on that line on a Sunday” is the reply.

Oh, damm, well at least I got a definitive answer, better walk to Bletchley Station then. Half hour walk later and I’m at the station, just in time for the 11:00 train. Swear the bag is getting heavier.

Small train turns up, get a block of seats to myself and settle in with the book. By the time the trains in Watford its rush hour packed, why is everyone going to London on a Sunday?

Lunch time, I should be good, but I’m tired and my power to resist is low. Get a fruit beer and a cheese sandwich at the Rocket pub near Euston. Finish book, just on of the Mass Effect Novels, not bad, bit workman like.

Right definitely time to get home, walk to Kings cross to get the tube, bag weighs a tonne, like someone has slipped a lead brick into it. Heavens open, glad I did remember my brolly. Bang goes summer.

Tube home, the last 10 minutes from the station is hard, don’t know why, guess that joker added a couple more lead bricks to my case. Sun comes out though.

Back home, relief, jeans had become a little uncomfortable, change back to skirt and wear Uggs as slippers to slob around the flat. Spend the rest of the day sorting out photo’s, surfing the web and watching Battlestar Galactica final season. Popped to the local shop for more wine later though, me bad.

Monday and I feel I need another day off.

Next week, you must of heard, the Magic Theatre is back at the Rivoli, weeee, the Contessa de Marmalade has to make a visit. If she can get off her arse and book a hotel room pronto that is.

… LINE

Up early big day, let get ready and oh yeah it’s Thursday, have to do some work first, bah. Work from home and actually really work this time, pull out what little (natural) hair I have over a couple of problems, both solved with a Doh! Though one hint to people entering data, if you want to compare Thing A’s wotsit to Thing A’s thingamajig, make sure you spell Thing A the same in both files, computers are a bit pedantic you know.

Had defuzzed during lunch and managed to get enough work to a place where I could stop (I hate stopping when something doesn’t work) by five thirty, have to be out by 8 the latest, so probably enough time. Turned out to be plenty, doing slap to the Hives “Your new favourite Band” seemed to hurry me up no end Into black coated jeans, tee, pin strip jacket and ballet flats. Can’t find the tee shirt I wanted, but find a suitable stripy one instead. Rock chick enough? Can’t be arsed a  real photo session, so I just put the cam on the top of the stairs and used the popup flash.

Test run first to the local shops first, its still light, and arrrggg there’s about 15 teenagers just hanging around at the end of my road larking about, sort of skirt around them, head down, walking quick, think I managed not to attract attention, phew. Raid the cash machine at the post office and get a couple of bottles of beer and stuff (it’s a rock night, so beer it is :)) at the grocers. Loop the long way home around the block to avoid the kids.

Veggie pot dinner with a beer (love those Innocent veggie pots) and its just about time to go, check, yep everything still there, lets go.

Most of the kids have gone, so it’s an easy walk into Islington. I was going to the Hope and Anchor pub to meet a few friends and see Miss K’s DEATHLINE play. I think DEATHLINE has to always be written in capitals BTW ;)  The Hope and Anchor is pretty famous really, loads of big played here when they where starting out, going back to the 70’s and 80’s. Thing is I’d only ever popped in here for a couple of quick drinks before (never actually seen a band there), usually in the day (and mostly in Ian mode), I’d never actually been here in the evening when its busy, so was a little apprehensive about possible negative reactions, it’s a little rough around the edges.

The band where supposed to be on at 8:30, so I wanted to arrive at 8:20 so I didn’t have to hang around alone to long if the others haven’t arrived. Cept I’m really early, 8:05, ohhh, loop around another block to I didn’t have to hang around. Role up at 8:20, but the rather gruff doorman informs me, door to the cellar (where the bands play) will open between 8:30 and 8:45 unless you are in one of the bands. Oh. miss information. So what to do, didn’t want to loop around again, and I didn’t want to wait it out in the busy pub. Wus. In the end I nipped across the road to the much quieter “Public House” public house (which looks anything but) and wasted 20 minutes with a glass of wine and a paper.

Back to the Hope and Anchor, looks a bit more open, let’s go in. As I enter Kaoru, Miss K’s (Miss K doesn’t play live in DEATHLINE I think) alter ego rounds the corner and says Hi and informs me Stephanie and Louis where already here. Down, pay up, oh £6 not £5 and there’s Stephanie Watson and Luis Drayton. I hadn’t seen Stephanie for a few months and Luis, since, er, Pride last year I guess. When I found out about the gig I asked if they wanted to go, as they have both expressed an interest in seeing DEATHLINE live. You see, for those of you who don’t read Luis’s and K’s Blogs (shame on you) they have a connection, both where in a band together a few years ago, a raucous all drag queen punk band called The Six Inch Killaz. But they both seem so nice. Stephanie (Luis’s flatmate) also had a bit of a connection, through blogs and the fact she was here in the Hope and Anchor back in the day watching punk acts.

Say hello and just managed to grab a drink before the band starts up. Of course I had my camera.

Struggle to get pics, its very dark, lights are flashing and its hard to meter and focus. Perhaps I should of just left it on a fixed ISO instead of making the auto suffer trying to figure out the light. Various meter, focus modes, shutter speeds and apertures used,  most aren’t successful and a lot of the pics are very soft

The band on the other hand are on fine form, all earwax is completely blown away in a blast of distorted feedback. They are loud minimalist beat driven Lo Fi punk/rock/noir/heavy/digital/analogue/electro noise terror, but not taking themselves 124% seriously. Vocals, guitar, bass and mac book making more than enough volume for the small space. If you have heard their recorded stuff, it sort of lacks a bit compared to live. Do go see them.

After the band have been on we pop back up into the main pub, its got a bit quieter up here, most people are either down in the cellar or in the outside tables (well it’s a lovely evening, plus most of the musicians smoke anyway).

Chat to Stephanie, well try to, it’s a bit hard work, the pub’s music is rather loud (and they appear to have stolen my CD collection, I have every track they play). Just catching up, seeing the changes in Stephanie, I swear here face has softened over the last year. Take a pic

Stephanie didn’t like that picture I think it looks good though, very feminine. Stephanie took one of me, I looked 100x worse (it’s the subject, not the photographer) and that picture has been deleted.

After a bit we pop back down to see another band, the Jacs? from Liverpool? (that’s a long trek) They are quite good, would of liked to seen and heard more, but we where talking so long we only caught the end of their set.

Think they had more light than DEATHLINE, pic came out better.

Back up stairs then and outside to join Kaoru and band mate Jennie. Never did get to see any more bands that night. Well the drink flowed a bit and we talked and then had a little more to drink and talked some more and well you know.

Turned out there was another ex member of the Six Inch Killaz, Mona? there that night too, so it turned out to be a bit of a reunion for them, then there was Jennie, think she’d started on the beer a little early but was lots of fun and explained to us more about her native Sweden and introduced us to her friends. Actually it was really nice to just be out there, outside the pub chatting normally, nobody seemed to have any problems with trans or anything like that, a very pleasant evening really. OK I wasn’t the chattiest as usual but the others didn’t seem to mind so much.

But it was getting late, and it was, a Thursday. Bio break, snap a few last pics of the pub and say my good byes. Time to head home

Lovely to see you all, lets do it again sometime. Oh and you lot, go and see DEATHLINE play.

Walk back home, its only 15 minutes and I was in flats. Stop at a Chicken shop on the way for chips, me bad. Nice chips, freshly cooked with chilli sauce. Get to bed quite late.

Friday, up to early, but fuzzy, back to the office, all required work all done by midday, sunny pub lunch, nearly fall asleep in the afternoon, in front of the boss, oops. Home via Korean grocers and Forbidden Planet, they have the new Start Trek uniforms in, but only in male, what’s the use of that. Get a couple of novels instead

Up early big day, let get ready and yeah it’s Saturday and er no. Slow start, lie in, lazy change, no real hurry as its not really a big day, I really have nothing to do, no plans, no clubs, no dinners, didn’t even feel like shopping. But it was sunny, might just go out and see what the day brings. Shave, ouch, too soon since last one, and on with a long shirt, denim mini, belt, cropped leggings and white flats. Copied the outfit from what I saw a couple of GG’s wearing during the week, cept there shirts where long enough to cover their lower abdomen, so they didn’t bother with the skirt, whereas I’m too just to long to use my shirt as a dress and needed the skirt for a bit more  modesty. Still should be a suitable outfit for a sunny day. No fancy photo again, I was just running too late, gone 12 before I eventually get out. On with the sunnies, wow its bright. Glad I remembered the sunblock to on my arms and legs, face used the last of my studio sculpt as it has some sun protection.

Where to go then, er, not sure, must be near lunch time though, lets go eat. Walk towards Islington, where, well there’s that bar I hadn’t eaten in before. But its shut, it doesn’t open a lunch time. Try one across the road, The Vineyard?, its open, but its like a glorified Weatherspoons, ewww, leave. So where then, rack brains, er, oh, I seem to have eaten in pretty much every other bar and pub on this road now. Revisit or change road? Change road.  End up at a little place called Bar Sequence on Essex Road, its deserted, looks cool and its all been opened up to the street and the breeze at front . There’s not much of a food menu, but I don’t feel hungry, so its just a glass of wine and some bread and olives then. Its really nice, music is ambient, girl behind the bar is very friendly and helpful, Wine and food is pretty good (Olives had stones and Quince jelly is not a good substitute for butter though) . 

Like the place. Its supposed to have some sort of audio visual/multimedia/digital photo/social networking sort theme to it all with projectors and wifi and stuff, but with just me there, it was simply a nice place to sit, drink and read (one of those novels I picked up on Friday)

Where next then, er dunno, keep heading towards town, loop around a few shops casually, nowt bought keep walking. Get bored walking, get on bus to Covent Garden.

Try Forbidden planet again, there web site said the female Star Trek uniforms are in stock, they could have had a delivery, but no, no luck in store, bah. Carry on towards Covent Garden, stopping in MAC. MAC foundation is never a perfect match for me, it’s always a little too beige/yellow and I’m more pinky, especially after being in the sun. Try a few different foundations on my hand with one of the sales assistants, she recommended getting a darker Studio Tech and mixing it with my normal shade. I’m a little worried that Studio Tech doesn’t have a SPF factor, but she says its OK to wear sunblock underneath, and gives me a little sample of their new primer that does have an SPF factor. Pick up a buffing bush she recommended for cream foundations too.

Keep wandering though the Piazza, ending up in Charles Fox. More makeup, I never really had much luck with their oft recommended Kryolan TV paintstick foundation, it was very heavy and fake looking and it tended to crack after a few hours wear on me. But the colour match was good, there range is pinkier, perhaps cause its German and matches northern European skin better? They have a couple of other foundation types, wonder if they will cover enough, the colour match is good. Need to investigate them a bit first I think, leave without buying. Wasn’t that wotshis name from the Wayout in there, one of the DJ’s?.

Er well since I’m going this way, keep going this way, across the Strand down to the river, well it will have a nice breeze. Go through the little park to Embankment, get Berry Frescatto from Costa and cross the footbridge and go down by the London Eye slurping my icy drink. The river and the Eye are pretty in the sunshine, camera comes out and a tourist snap or two is taken.

It would be nice to be on the river today, boat trip? Nah the queue’s for a ticket are massive. In fact the south bank is heaving,  too many people, oh, wrong place to be, get out. Jump on bus back to the West End.

Day seems to be going OK so far, but it’s all a bit pointless I guess. Hit Oxford Street, its busy, not heaving. Circle a few stores, hrm feet are not doing well, even in flats, but these are the cheap (and pretty nasty) plastic Shoe Zone ones, I have to put a plaster on my toe to stop them rubbing, perhaps I could find some better ones? Barratts have loads, size 10, but that’s too big, size 8, but that’s too small and no size 9’s on the rack, or in the stock room, the sales assistant had a good look.

HMV, since I’ve nowt todo tonight, might as well pick up a DVD (but what about that pile of unwatched ones you have?) Find the season 5 Stargate Atlantis have been released, pick up the first 1, that will do. Heard Stargate Altantis has now been cancelled and this is the last season

Go up to pay, “Would you like a bag SIR” smirks the (male) sales assistant. Shoot him a filthy look and don’t speak or look at him after that. I fumed a bit over than, don’t like being called that and hell, this sort of thing has happened in this store before, why did I go back. Why does something so small affect when the rest of the day has been fine? Is the makeup on my top lip coming off? Am I just a ridiculous bloke in a skirt? Anyway he was a twat and I ain’t going in that branch of HMV again, ever. Seriously think about complaining to HMV. Don’t though.

Carry on down the street, bit more self conscious now, that’s when I usually loose it. Drift through Selfridges, feel a bit uncomfortable. Get some Wasbi peas from the EAT concession on the way out cause I adore them. Think it’s about time to go home, but I needed dinner, so down into M&S opposite, get wine and salad. Self service checkout is uncooperative and I need the help of the assistant, twice.

But I’m down this end of the street, there’s New Look and Primark, OK, just a quick look, don’t want to let the salad and wine get warm. Not much clothing wise is jumping out at me in New Look, but those shoes look big. They are, 9 wides and they fit. But black Stilettos, don’t need another pair of them. But if they have them in 9 wide, they might have others…. Scour the shoe isles, some more summer sandals or flats would be nice (to replace the nasty things I have on). Find a pair of gold ballet flats, leather lined in 9 wide, and they do fit, yeah, £12 too. Had to get them. Cheered me up a bit. Looking at the footwear being worn that day I estimated 2% of women where in heels, 3% in boots (mostly cowboy), 10% trainers. 40% sandals, 25% flip flops and 20% in flats like this. Estimating stats on female shoe types, I must be a tranny nerd!

Put them on in the little bit under the stairs near the entrance, its quiet there and I’ve used it for photo’s before, so I set the camera up. Snap

Not the best pic, but I don’t really want to play around taking loads of shots in public, so fix it in post. Go to Primark next, er nah, go home. Tube will be faster, Victoria line is down, so Central then Piccadilly?

Central line is baking hot :(. It’s about here I realise the little pot of Wasbi peas I’d bought had popped open and spilt them into all into my bag. Oohh and I fancied them. I really did fancy them, so instead of changing tube line I get out at Holborn, as well there’s Itsu around the corner that sell them. But it’s shut, most of the shops around where are shut walk down High Holborn looking for snack foods. I get like this, I have to find what I’mm looking for, its like a compulsion.

There’s an M&S food open, the only place that is, no Wasbi peas, but some mini poppadums suffice. Carry on, find a bus back to Angel, change bus and back home. Munching poppadums all the way, hey lunch was really light and I’ve walked miles OK?

Just one little shop before I get home, sa well I’d eaten all the snacks, greedy pig. No Wasbi pea’s, but some Indian crunchy masala peas, er worth a punt. Turned out to be slightly browner and a different spice hit than wasbi ones, but are very moreish. Why have I just written 3 paragraphs about spicy peas, is life that dull?

Home, DVD, wine, peas, lazy, sleep. Nothing sort of day really, and on balance, a good one, yeah the HMV guy was a twat, but the girl in Bar Sequence was great, and the assistants in M&S, Barratts and MAC far more polite and helpful, and the public at large barely raised an eyebrow.

Sunday, managed to do even less. Drank beer, played Fallout, Sorted out photo’s, drank a little more beer, finished the book, stroked a couple of cats and got the piss taken out of me by an old lady about my lack of hair. That’s about it.

To put a stop to the doldrums, I’ve booked a room at the Camp for next weekend and am going to spend an evening with the girls at PP