Work actually have me doing work, how outrageous, had to even work late a couple of evenings. But as usual its people making life too complicated for themselves, they have a nut to crack, and unlike most businesses, who would simply use a sledge hammer, mine are using a sledge hammer, an angle grinder, a hand grenade and a chainsaw (with a HGV to carry all the tools around in) to open an undersized pistachio. I work in the Business Intelligence department, Business Intelligence is a contradiction in terms? Suppose it’s apt in a way.

Then Saturday comes, had plans to get out early and go off deer hunting (with a camera, honest) in deepest Richmond, but can I get out of bed? That and a big long lazy soak in the tub, the eternal question of what to wear (which turned out to be jeans after all that) and the usual slow slap job and I ain’t decent till 12. Do I want to spend the next hour on a train and then a long hike around the deer park in hot weather (in full makeup and a syrup) trying to photograph Bambie?, nah can’t be arsed.

Tis a lovely day though, shame to be indoors and I don’t fancy a trawl around the shops, so hey lets have a picnic. Get wine, bread, cheese and nibbles from the local shops, make sarnies and take them and my blanket to the local park. Couple of lads commented as I walked in, grumble, but apart from that its nice, had a book, but don’t read much, and just lie in the sun instead for a couple of hours. Said it was a lazy weekend.

Back home and noodle a bit and wow it’s nearly 4, where has the day gone? Better pop out and do something. Bus ride to Angel and have a little wander around the shops, nothing serious, just a browse, just a wander in the sunshine. Keep heading towards town. Oh nice car (and I don’t even drive).

Drift through Bloomsbury towards the Brunswick, well they have more shops. Wasn’t really intending to buy, but well this a pair of bubble pink shinny leggings and a retro Visage tee in New Look plead to be bought. I give in and get them Tried them on later, they work well together, add a black vest underneath and some accessories and we have a clubbing outfit.

Still aimless wandering, light is getting longer and more interesting so I shoot a few shots, but not many are keepers though.

End up in the British Museum, for no other reason than I like the roof. More meh photo’s are taken (cadge a tourist into taking mine, but its not great, don’t people know how to hold a camera in portrait? they hold it landscape and put the centre focus on your face, which results in your feet getting cut off feet and most of the frame filled with the background, its all in the composition people).

American girl asks me to take her photo on the way out, I oblige of course, and don’t cut her feet off. She was nice, made up for the big issue seller who earlier asked me “Big Issue Sir”, so no I didn’t buy one, mean?

Is that the time, actually did have something to do this evening, Bus home.

Change, since I was going out, decide to swap jeans for a skirt, but since it was an unknown, not the shortest skirt in the world, and add thin tights as my legs aren’t that great. Add a little more makeup and do the photo of the day.

Bus it off back to Angel, not late for a change. Gig tonight, the Delta Ladies are playing a pub in Islington called the Grande. The Delta Ladies are Vicky and Diana from Elephant shelf who playing as a duo instead of a full band. They said the music direction was a little quieter. Hadn’t seem them recently (The Shelf seem to play out of town most of time these days) so though it would be good to catch up with them again, and a couple of others had indicating they where coming down to see them as well, so could be a good night.

Walk into the Grande at 9ish. It’s had a few names over the years, but I’d never been in it before in any of its incarnations, so didn’t know what to expect, was a little nervous, it is just a regular (and a little shabby looking) pub. Inside I spot Vicky and Diana right away, they are still setting up their instruments, phew right place at least. But then there’s the pub crowd, which is er about 3 older blokes and that’s it. An Islington pub on Saturday night with just 3 blokes in it (oh and me and the Delta ladies), that’s, er, weird, most places are heaving, I know this place is a little off the main strip, but just 3 blokes?

Chat to Vicky and Di as they setup and sound check, looks like its going to be a late start (always is with them, then they play for hours afterwards). From what I hear the pub used to have a reputation as a rough one, with fights and stuff, then it tried to be a restaurant and now is trying to rebuild its rep as a new pub (The Delta Ladies knew the landlady from another venue) under new management and as a live music venue. Its not attracting the 20 something (and the 30 and 40 something’s who dress like 20 something’s (er like me)) trendyish Islington crowd yet though, I guess it to get a better reputation, hope it manages it, might take a little time though. Might need a little work on the décor, its sort of got the shabby chic look that’s popular around here, but dunno its not quite right, perhaps the shabby bit is just the original old pub showing through.

Leave the ladies to finish plugging things in and twiddling knobs for a bit, oh the crowd of 3 had gone down to 1 and he’s approaching me, yikes. He tries to engage, smiles, shakes my hand, looks a bit pissed, but I shy away quite rapidly, he makes me nervous. Go back to Vicky and Di.

They start to play, even though there’s only two of us there, they don’t seem to care and dive into their set. Though lacking the bass and drums of the shelf, they ain’t exactly quiet no they are on good (and loud and fast) form, it’s been a while since I saw them last, had forgotten just how well the can really play and I can actually hear the violin properly this time.

A few more come into the pub during the set, inc Laura Handbag. Hi Laura, its been a while, Juliette arrives too, think I’ve seen her before at the picnics last year. Hey we have a crowd, though the TG element seem to make up 40% of the audience I’m glad it’s more than one man and a tranny.

We have a chat during the interval, this and that. Yes I will download the Sparkle song Laura. Actually the whole Sparkle/tranny scene thing and its relation to the Elephant Shelf comes up and um well for a sec I thought people could fall out, but sense prevails. An older chap who turned up during the set introduces himself to the band, says he’s was in a band in the 60’s that had a hit (which Vicky remembered). He seems to have enjoyed the set a lot. Dave, the bloke who tried to talk to me earlier, who is now a bit more drunk, seems to have found Laura, poor Laura. The whole pub doesn’t seem to care about our TG status much and most seem to like the band.

2nd set is a rocking as the first, we even have a little encore. Juliette has to leave during to catch her train though, nice to meet you again. Must be gone midnight now, originally I’d planned to just stay for an hour or two and then go one to the Way out, where, coincidently, there was another TG band playing, but well the Delta Ladies where on form and played 2 long sets, so now it was too late for the tube and I’m to tight for a taxi, so decided to head home instead, had my fill of live music for the night anyway. Nice to see you all again, hope you manage to get to North London more often.

Walk home, its not worth trying to get on a bus, grab chips in pita on the way as I skipped dinner earlier. One lad whispers (not quietly enough) to his mate “that’s a bloke” as I pass, but that’s about it really, the Islington Saturday night crowd are mostly to drunk to notice me.

Sunday, wow its warm, just mange to gather enough energy to sort out the photos, do my washing and play Fallout 3 (really getting into that). Also try to watch that new Flash Gordon series, but bah, its pants.

Monday, duty calls, not work, parents this time. Trek up to Lincolnshire to try show my mum how to use a DSLR (I’m lending her my D80). Spend a lot of time chasing dogs and cats around trying to get a photo. Will probably upload a batch of these later on.

Well that’s probably the least I’ve done on a bank holiday for a while. Next week, well mid week I should be experiencing the sonic assault that is Rock Noir, join us? but the weekend is currently unplanned. Will try not to make it a quiet one.

Tuesday, argg work, in a 8 out at 7:30, seem to have to work for people who are very good at saying when they want something, but are very poor at describing what exactly they want. Is being an aggressive moron an essential qualification to work in middle management?

Tedious week of mostly non work and trying to look busy, might pick up next week, work from home on Friday. Actual work consisted of sending 1 email, well the boss was on a jolly that day anyway. But I had plenty to do, tidy the flat, take out recycling, washing up, painting my nails and of course getting ready for the evening.

Also had to pop to the post office, boots I ordered got delivered on Thursday, I wasn’t in so they left it at the post office for me to collect instead. Get it back home and rip open the packaging (I’m a big kid really), yep they are the boots I ordered, oh they look a bit small, hope they fit. Yes they fit, in fact they fit rather easily, perhaps they are a tad large, well that’s a surprise. Yeah, outfit it ready for Saturday, try on some of the other bits as well, hey I can get the corset almost fully done, I must have been good this week, Woot wasn’t good (foodwise) after that unfortunately. Parade around my flat in the boots, they do look right, tighten up the buckles and they even fit my calves, only down side was the synthetic leather material, it’s a little poor and plasticy.

Down tools early on Friday afternoon and pop to Camden, in Ian mode but with fingernails painted gold, feel a little self conscious about that and hide my hands a bit. Reason for trip, well I’d decided my outfit for Saturday would work better with a hat. I had already bought one, a leatherette cap, from Honour, but when I got it home and had I good look, I realised it was pretty naff. Trip to Camden was to find a better one, a peaked cap in shinny black, military style. I checked the military surplus places, no joy, nothing black, found a chauffeurs cap in a costume shop that was a maybe, but it was almost as naff as the previous one, left empty (gold) handed. Pick up wine and stuff for breakfast on the way back.

On with makeup and my Cop.Copine dress and leggings and for the photo’s, the strappy shoes. Oh I’m wearing cropped leggings and those shoes just like last weeks photo But I think I’ll be wearing cropped leggings quite a bit this summer, it’s a comfortable, practical and anonymous look that I think works for me.

Not bad pics IMHO, red gel on one light adds a little. I find that a light gel in a warm colour (red, orange, pink, gold etc) is flattering, it reduces the contrast a bit and hides flaws, yet makes the photo a little more interesting. After the pics I put those shoes in my bag and changed back into flats, well they are not walking shoes and I needed to get to town.

8:15 and out we go, oh it’s a bit rainy, decide to get the bus to Piccadilly. Out on a Friday again, meal with Jessica and Carissa and some others, Jess is in town and since it was her birthday recently this was going to be a birthday do. I made a slightly less than serious suggestion I made about going to the Ivy a few months ago, I wanted to go somehwerr posh, but felt it would never really happen, but Jess called my bluff and so tonight we where dinning at Le Caprice. No it’s not the Ivy, but it’s actually in the same group and is of a similar in nature. Why le Caprice, well the Ivy was booked up that night, that’s all. So that’s why I had my (only) designer dress on, I say designer, to be honest, it looks like it could of come from New Look, tis a bit sack like, that and the leggings (also Cop.Copine though) and the flats and I look a little down market Arriving at the posh restaurant on the bus doesn’t help the image either.

Bus gets to Piccadilly promptly and I’m at the restaurant at 9 when we agreed to meet for a pre dinner drink. And nobodies here, yikes, and the restaurant is packed, you can’t even sit at the bar, people are eating at the bar. And the people all are very smart, an aura of money permeates. But they take my coat and check the reservation, the table won’t be ready till 9:30 (when it’s supposed to be) but they are fine with me waiting. I fire off a couple of texts and try not to look to conspicuous (who am I kidding) in the corner by the piano. The piano player is pretty good. Decide not to bother changing into my strappy shoes, stay in the flats for comfort and I don’t want to tower.

Clarissa calls, can’t hear her, step outside, she’s off the tube and walking down the street, ahh there she is. C is in a much more dramatic red dress, that’s a different look for you hun, suits you. I’m informed that it’s only going to be the 3 of us, the other two I didn’t know couldn’t make it. Hope I didn’t scare them off.

The restaurant staff are being terribly polite to us and ask if we would like a drink whilst we are waiting, why not. Wine list is a bit scary, pick the 2nd least expensive one available by the glass, didn’t want to look too cheap. Turns out to be a good glass of wine, but I guess there’s really no rubbish on the wine list at a place like this. Jess had text saying she was in a cab and nearby.

Tables ready, the Maître D’ leads us on, he offers to carry my bag, I let him, he gets a shock at the weight (well it had my usual stuff, plus a pair of shoes and the D700 in it) Not sure if he noticed it as a fake Dolce and Gabbana, its not a very good copy. Tables in the corner at the back, but I don’t think that was deliberate, the restaurant is full and all the other tables where taken. The restaurant is surprisingly small.

We eat bread, drink wine and chat, Jess arrives soon and we order. Food is surprisingly “normal”, its not foodie, there’s no foams, fusion, reductions or drizzles going on, it’s more British comfort food really. In the end I order a deep fried battered haddock fillet with pureed peas and French fried potatoes accomplied by tartar sauce, yeah that’s right, fish and chips, well I am a half arsed pescatarian (phrase copyright Giles Coren, The Times restaurant critic). Food is good, well it should be, but it’s not exactly special, and the tartar sauce doesn’t arrive. Wine is nice though, the others order it cause like I implied above, I’m useless with wine lists (I usually just order the cheapest Chardonnay or Pinot Grigo with anything) and Jess is ABC positive (Anything But Chardonnay). 3 bottles are ordered, think Jess drinks most of the 2nd bottle of white, not that I’m complaining, I’d had most of that bottle I bought earlier before I came out, I think we both ended up a little merry

I did have a little birthday present for Jess, but since I’m a muppet I’d forgotten it, Doh.

I had a camera with me on the off chance, but had heard photography was discouraged at places like this, but hey some one on another table is taking pics, so out it comes.

Don’t those two look good.

All that wine goes through me, have to visit the ladies, cept there isn’t one, it closed due to refurbishment, the gents had been converted to unisex. I think I prefer unisex loos anyway, less potential hassle. Loo is downstairs, returning to the table I pass an older gentleman on the stairs, Oh, is this the ladies? he says, no its unisex I reply, don’t think he approved unisex as much as I did.

Dessert, do I, don’t I, the others do, (Clarissa is such a skinny thing she need feeding up) I resist, but then spot the cheese board, hrrrrmm cheese, order that. The soft goat’s cheese that’s on it is bordering on sublime.

It’s a long lazy boozy dinner, staff are most courteous and don’t rush us, but it’s late and all the wine has been drunk, time for the bill. Yikes, it’s how much, that’s the most expensive fish and chips ever. I pay my share in cash, but I’m a little short, the others make it up. Sorry about that, I’ll make it up to you.

Time to go, Clarissa is going for the tube, me the bus and Jess a cab (the restaurant orders one for her), she’s looking a little wobbly too, but she suggested going on clubbing, I turn down the offer, I’m feeling a little sleepy. Suggest Jess sleeps it off too, she says she will think about it. Got a text later saying she went out clubbing after all and was out till 4am, now that’s stamina. Lovely to meet you two again, let’s do it again, but perhaps somewhere a little cheap and cheerful next time, curry night as suggested on Angels in July?

It’s a bit damp on Piccadilly, think I spot my bus and rush to the stop, but its not it. Wait, wait, ah there’s a bendy bus that will get me most of the way home, jump on that. An annoying bloke plonks himself on the seat next to me and sits with his legs as far apart as they will go, forcing me right into the corner to stop him touching hate it when they do that.

Bus trundles along slowly, I’m a little tired, I’ll just rest my eyes a sec and OMFG where am I? I’d fallen asleep and missed my stop and now was somewhere between Stoke Newington and Hackney, arrrgggg. Next stop is the end of the route, all change please. Didn’t exactly recognise the street, so I back track down the way it came, it’s a bit cold (rain had stopped mindst) and I only have a small jacket on, its about 1am and I really don’t want to walk all the way home.

5 minutes back down the road and there’s a bus stop, relief, girl waiting at the stop asks me where I’m going, I reply Highbury corner and she says this is the right stop The indicator board says a bus is only 4 minutes away, thank gawd. I sit and wait, but after a couple of minutes, the girl who spoke to me before approaches, “Have you any credit on your phone” she asks and then explains she’d just broken up with her boyfriend and needed to make a call. She was clutching a phone but I guess she’d ran out of credit. I lend her mine, not something I would normally do, but well she looked really unhappy and I guess tiredness and alcohol had blunted my normal urban paranoia. My phone is the worlds cheapest Nokia anyway, so if she ran off with it its no worry. She didn’t of course, she just called someone and asked them to pick here up, then I guess the person she called asked who’s phone it was as they didn’t recognise the number, she replied “Just some girl at the bus stop”, then she spotted my bus coming and finished her call and gave me my phone back. I’m “just some girl at the bus stop”, wow, you know it actually felt really really good to be called that, just so very normal, ordinary and real, given what I actually am. That made up for missing my stop and more.

Bus ride towards home, it doesn’t take me all the way, but close enough, walk the rest of the way (glad I stayed in the flats) back home, bed.

Saturday, bit of a lie in and don’t change right away, its going to be a long night and I need to rest the face and body. Get up eventually and sort out the Friday pics. So what next, well this evening the plan was (as I mentioned last week) Torture Garden, but I didn’t know exactly where it was, well lets pop out and find it then (I’d abandoned the hat search). There was also reports of a burst water main and flooding in the area, had to make sure it was all still OK. Out in Ian mode and jump on the bus to London Bridge. Felt less self conscious about the (still gold) nails for some reason.

Off at London bridge, make a note of bus times, the bus home is 24 hour, but at that time in the morning there’s only 2 an hour and what’s the change of them keeping to the time table anyway, nil, might have to wait a bit.

Lets find the club. Had a little map, out the station, right, then 2nd right, hey it’s a tunnel under the station, sure this is the street? Oh it is, there’s the club, looks a little odd, and there are all sort of regulations out side about compulsory searches and metal detectors and so on. Yikes. But it is only 2 minutes from the station.

Club found, what to do, well there’s Borough Market, nearby, why not, grab some free samples. But this odd donut shaped loaf of crusty artisan bread has my name on it, had to be bought. Nibble at it for the rest of the day, boy its good.

Wander back through the city to Bank, tube to Angel and pick up a little light something for dinner, I’m trying to be good, but keep eating that bread, doh.

Time to change, bathe and shave everywhere, not to much blood. Do the makeup, it’s a heavy job, lots of everything, foundation, eyeshadow, mascara, lippy (MAC Dark side, well I had to), power, blush etc. takes a while, think it looks OK. On with the outfit and decide to go with the ultra blonde curly Barbie wig, as a complete contrast to the dark black leather. Hope it’s enough for Torture Garden, there where threads on the web site about the dress code and an indication people not trying hard enough wouldn’t be let in. Boobs would be on show in this top, they where the bosom friends forms, I’d washed and powdered them earlier in the week to try and match my skin better, think they look OK under the fishnet, join isn’t totally obvious, didn’t get the positioning quite right though.

Well it’s a fancy outfit that should be popular on Flickr (cause its well tarty), so it deserves a good photo, I’d planned an hour for this, but it takes longer, have to keep messing with the lights to get a flattering look. One light doesn’t seem to be kicking out much juice, think the batteries need recharging. Get something that works in the end, getting useable pics with and without the hat. Very little post was required, just adjusting contrast, levels and the hiding of bags under the eyes and the odd wrinkle. I’m old and vain.

That first one has gone down well on Flickr, bunch of pervs aren’t they

Running a bit late now, pack small bag as I can’t take a camera with me (club rules) and put on my big leather coat to cover up the outfit. Even remember to pack Jess’s present this time. Off to the tube, boots are OK on the pavement, had put in gel pads before hand to try and avoid discomfort, I was going to be in them for a while. See my fave white and black cat is hanging around outside his house on the way, stop to give him a fuss.

Little self conscious on the tube, try to cover my fishnetted legs with the coat and bag. I do look daft, but there’s no trouble, a few looks perhaps. Spot some other quite dressed up people, maybe they are going to Torture garden. Its 10 past 10 when I get to Marble Arch, said I would meet her at 10:30 so I was a little early (was allowing time for tube delays, but there weren’t any), but still I had to find here hotel.

Ah it’s just there, I am really early, damm. Text Jess and wait outside the Hotel at a smokers table. Well I look far too ridiculous to go and wait in the bar of a nice hotel. But its cold even in the coat, cold beats embarrassment and I go in. Order a glass of wine (price, yikes it is a nice hotel isn’t it) and wait it out in the corner. No hostile reactions as far as I could tell.

Jessica doesn’t keep me waiting long, she looks far more elegant than me, no OTT hair and makeup and her club dress is well concealed by her coat. But then she would, she’s not a tranny.

Out and into a cab, give Jess her present, just a little box of chocolate, well I have to make sure she doesn’t get thinner than me We discuss the ID requirements for the club and the tickets. This is when I realise I’d forgotten something, the bloody ticket for the club! Arrrgggggg, stupid stupid stupid, resign myself to get another one on the door, reports indicated it wasn’t a sell out anyway (hey that ID thing scaring people away had a silver lining)

Taxi crawls through the traffic, why is there so much traffic at nearly 11 on a Saturday night? As we approach London Bridge I ask to be let out, if I need to buy another ticket I could do with more cash and the station has cash machines. Wanted to have some spare cash in case I needed to get a cab home, having some reserve makes me feel safer you see. There was some misunderstanding though, found out later Jess waited for me for a bit till the cabbie got arsey, but I wasn’t expecting her to wait so I didn’t rush, Doh, sorry Jess.

Find a cash machine and get some reserve and head towards the club, glad I’d located it earlier. As a leave the station some wag points at me and says “Hey Steve Mate, good to see you” and laughs, his girlfriend finds this hilarious too, I’m less amused, twat.

Round the corner and into the tunnel, looks like more TG type people around, undo my coat, and strut along in my mini and corset, coat flowing in the wind, cause, well I can Have lost Jess by now, assume she’s in the club already. There’s two queues, a short one and a long one to get in. Ask, ah, I need the long queue as I don’t have a ticket. Damm.

The long queue doesn’t appear to move very fast. As I wait a couple walks by asking anyone if they need a ticket, I do I say, and offer her £40 quid for it (the door price), she won’t accept that, saying she felt bad about accepting that much, she actually only wants 35, but I don’t have a fiver, she says 30 is fine. I pay up gladly. Nice lady, complements me on my outfit too. Right now I have a ticket so I can use the short queue? Yes apparently, and it’s now completely empty. Have to show ID though, I produce my passport, the picture barely resembles Ian these days, never mind Helena, but they aren’t fussy, barely looking at it, they scan it in the slot and wave me in. So Ian is recorded as going to Torture Garden, and that will be kept on record for 31 days. Tis a little bit of an invasion of privacy, but not a huge one, my oyster card stores more about my movements than that.

Next the metal detector (Corset busk doesn’t set it off) and a cursory bag search (I’m directed to a woman who does it) and I’m in (No search or frisk required apparently). Where’s the cloak room, I ask, oh you shouldn’t of used this entrance if you needed the cloak room they said, it’s the rapid entrance, they tell me where it is but inform me there might be an issue me using it. Well I have to ditch my heavy coat so I risk it. Cross the club to the other entrance. There was no issues at the cloakroom in the end, just join the queue and deposit my coat . Think I just skipped an epic queue to get in, me bad.

Right now we are in Torture Garden. First job, find Jess. Well 2nd job actually, first job sort out the corset, I’d loosened it for the journey, Tighten it up and get a young lady to assist me tying it up (its hard to reach around), she’s rather thorough, thank you miss. Right back to 2nd job, find Jess.

Cept I can’t find her, loop the club twice looking, perhaps I missed her, its dark. Try the phone, no signal. Eventually I find a spot where I cam get a signal, get texts indicating there was a misunderstanding about waiting for me, also perhaps she think I ran away back home on the tube. Try to send one saying I’m in the club. Couple more laps of the club, I can’t really relax and enjoy till I’m sure she’s here and the misunderstandings have been resolved.

Eventually she finds me, relief. She had to use the long queue even though she had a ticket and the wait was epic But after that I don’t see that much more of her. Mine and Jess’s interests at the club where different (I just wanted to dress up silly and see the entertainment) and I didn’t want to embarrass her by hanging around or attracting the wrong kind of attention. Do run into her a few more times in the night but I gather she wasn’t that impressed by Torture Garden, there was to many poseurs (true, there was me for a start). She said she might leave early, get a text later saying she left at 3:40. Lovely to meet you again Jess, sorry I was useless company.

Initially I’m impressed by the club, they had really gone to town with décor and lights, and it’s all set in the railway arches, spooky and atmospheric. There are several rooms with various themes, a couple are dance floors with different music, a dungeon or two (one was medical themed), a room with seats and tables for the shows and a number of bars. Get a drink early on, range is limited but the prices aren’t bad for a club.

As the night went on the club began to irritate me more, basically it just got too full (and they said it wasn’t a sell out) it got hard to move at time and people just stood around in awkward places, and even when I stopped to dance or take in a show or something, even when I was out of the way people pushed passed a bit rudely. Then there was the bars, early on not bad as I said, but as it filled up the queues to get a drink got horrendous, there must of only been a dozen bar staff in the place, for over two thousand thirsty people, they worked hard, but couldn’t really cope. Couple of times I just gave up trying to get a drink, life is just to short.

It was an event with a definite dress code, you where really encouraged to dress up and be creative, and many did. Most where pretty good and there where a few awesome outfits, very creative, some proper work went into them. A few went right into kink, head to foot rubber with a masks and everything, how did they manage in the heat? And some didn’t, a few people where mostly naked (male and female), some where just fancy dress and some even had little more than street clothing on, what’s all that about the strict dress code? OK pretty girls in just their bra and pants isn’t a bad thing really, but even then, more effort could be made. OK my outfit wasn’t exactly the most creative and wild either I suppose.

TG in TG, as in Transgendered, there where quite a few men wearing women’s clothes, mostly basques, corsets and stockings etc, as a fetish/submissive thing, but they weren’t as I would term, presenting as female, that was much rarer. Think I spotted a few though, doing it well, wasn’t always sure, but there was just something about the facial features about a couple of those girls.

Tried to dance a bit, but wasn’t really feeling it, dunno if it was the music not being right, lack of booze, tiredness or just the embarrassment of dancing alone. Some of the shows where good, caught a really good singer in the Cabaret room, Frank Sanazi was a little uncomfortable but fun and I did see the end of the Vivid Angels performance, but a few of the acts where, IMHO, well, just people going hey look at me, I’m strange. I didn’t participate or really even see much of the S&M type stuff (well it is a fetish club), but from what I could tell and what I heard, there wasn’t much of this going on anyway.

Not having a camera limited me a bit, I do like to hide behind it, and it gives me something to do, plus it works as an ice breaker, I can ask people if I can take their picture and start a little conversation that way, even if its only a few words it’s better than nothing. Without a camera I’m a bit lost, and apart from Jess I barely spoke to anyone all night, there was a couple of hellos to people I recognised (Karol, Monica, The Vivid Angel) but that was about it, they all where with their own friends anyway.

Back to cameras, although there must have been a dozen photographers around none pointed their camera’s my way, but relatively I’m old and dowdy here and my outfit verging on the plain, there where far more pretty young things to shoot. OK I lie, there was a few shots of me taken, well you see there was this photo booth with a vintage Harley to pose on and a backdrop of an American highway. Well I had to didn’t I, a nice girl took several pics of me in various poses (she guided me on poses) on the bike (used a D300 tethered to a Mac light with hot lights through softboxes). You had to pay to get the picture sent to you though, I coughed up for one of the better ones. It has arrived and looks, well not bad actually, I’ll include it in next weeks flickr batch.

Crowd was thinning by 4 (so I could actually get a drink), but the entertainment had finished, tried to dance a bit, but really was getting tired now. The club went on till 6 but I couldn’t last that long, not sure I wanted to either, remember the next bus was at 4:55, bit early yet, but there was a long queue (another one) for the cloak room. Decide to go.

Not sure about Torture Garden, on one had there’s the whole scale and décor, the exotic people and crazy shows, but against that I found it a bit cold, lonely and not exactly me. Not sure I’ll go back, I really prefer the smaller friendlier alternative places like The Festival of Sins, and they have bands not just performers.

By the time I’d got my coat and faffed around a bit it was 4:35, lets go home. No I don’t want a taxi, especially if you call me man. Back to the station as sun is coming up, past a fast food place, dam its shut, I’m hungry now. Find the bus stop, and the right bus rolls up and it stops and the driver gets off. Typical. But he comes back 5 minutes later and moves up to the stop at 4:55 exactly. Wow, a bus on time! A few people get on the bus with me, they don’t look like TG people, they look like they are coming home from work, London never really sleeps I guess.

As the bus rolls back towards home I started nodding a bit, No! wake up silly cow, don’t fall asleep on the bus again. There’s a cloud burst, heavy rain for 5 minutes, but it stops as suddenly as it started.

My stop, almost home, suns risen by now, hey I’ve been out all night again Kebab shops are all shut, well its gone 5am, even they close some time, still hungry, get something cold at the 24 hour, maybe, hrrmm, what’s this, lights on at MacDonalds, can they still be open? No they weren’t still open, they had just opened up for the morning, wow my local Maccdy D opens at 5 on a Sunday morning, didn’t know that. Its not deserted either, 2 lads come in just after me, almost ecstatic McD was open, praising the glory of a double sausage McMuffin, guess they had been out all night too. Get my egg McMuffin and coffee, it fills a welcome spot.

Walk home through the park, have it to myself, its strangely pleasant feeling. Spot white and black cat by his door again and give him another fuss, Have you been a dirty stop out like me Mr Pussy cat?

Back home, camera is still on the tripod, pop a shot.

Removing the corset and boots is a bit of a relief, been in them for quite a while. So lomn in fact the the fishnet top pressed by the corset has left an impression on my tummy.  Bed now, don’t sleep as well as I should, up again a few hours later for a lazy boozy Sunday in Ian mode. Tiredness only really has hit home today.

Work do on Thursday night reminded me who much I dislike large social gatherings, especially work ones. Free bar, free food, free entertainment and I just had to leave after an hour, couldn’t cope. My work colleagues came in late on Friday looking a “little” rough, apparently they drank the bar out of expensive champagne and didn’t remember how they got home, whilst I got in early with a clear head.

Saturday, what to do, well kind of had a plan for the evening but the rest of the day had to be worked out, had a few ideas. Earlier in the week a friend has asked if I wanted to go to Torture Garden next week, I had a look, it’s their birthday do and looks HUGE, much bigger than any fetish/alternative night I’ve ever been to, and even though I just said I can’t cope with large socials, well, I decided to go anyway. These things are a little easier in Helena mode, plus I hope there’s more to see and do, I can watch the shows and dance a bit and don’t have to try and make small talk with people I barely know. Can’t do my usual trick of hiding behind a camera all night though cameras are not allowed, one of these day I should look into trying to get a photo pass for events like this, I would love to shoot all the fantastic outfits.

Back to the plot, what to wear, well its going to be a long night, and I know from experience I tend to overheat in fetishy type stuff and high heels are usually killing me by 2am (and it goes on till 6!), so decided to wear less, just a leather corset and skirt, with fishnet (top and tights) underneath for a little modesty and coverage, but what about the feet, not one of my pairs of boots or shoes (and I have “quite” a large collections) seemed appropriate, either to painful or not looking right. Big gothy boots would work, and with a chunky heel and a platform so they shouldn’t be that uncomfortable and really I’ve wanted a pair like that for ages anyway. But where to get then? They have them in Camden, but never in my size, so decide to risk the web, find some I like that are available in large sizes, but their web sites don’t list if they are in stock or not (so many web shops never seem to have much stock), so I wanted to call them, but the phone line wasn’t open till later, had to find something to do in the mean time. Well I suppose I could get dressed,

Dressing on Saturday went quite quickly, leggings, flats, black vest, grey oversized tee and a leather jacket, should be fairly contemporary, skipped the photo (would take them later) and I’m ready by half 9, wow. Phone line for those boots didn’t open till 11. But there’s an early showing of the new Star Trek film locally, if I shift I can make it, wanted to see it and getting it out of the way early will save time later, so I shift and jump on the bus.

Woman on the concessions stand in the pictures is initially smiley, then I think she realised who she was talking to and became a little more business like while she got my popcorn (child’s portion, but still a bit big). Guy taking the tickets is also smiley, but I guess he’s not quite as observant and was borderline flirting.

Cinema fills up, its busy for a early showing, mostly 20-30’s blokes though, there’s a surprise. So this is the new Star Trek, technically is a 1 again, so that’s odd numbered, but no it wasn’t bad at all. It manages to reboot the whole Star Trek thing and change an awful lot, but yet actually fit in with the established (though not always that consistent) canon in a way, but you will have to see the film to see how. There are numerous references back to the originals though, catch phrases, nicknames, stuff for a Trekie/er to notice (so I probably got 73.2% of them ). Plus it seems you can solve almost any problem by ejecting the warp core. Performances, good mostly, Chris Pine as Kirk and Anton Yelchin as Chekov feel just a bit caricatured, Simon Pegg doesn’t really get to do much as Scotty, but Karl Urban as Doctor McCoy really gets it right IMHO. Effects are as good as any recent Hollywood blockbuster, but in places they have really gone for a grubbier and dirty look instead of the usual clean, smooth and minimalist federation look of old. What I didn’t like was the engineering decks of the Enterprise, they just looked like the inside of a large factory, not like a space ship to me. Not that I’ve ever been on the engineering deck of a interstellar Starship, but well, it just didn’t feel right.

Long film too, its gone 12 when I get out. Long film so I need the loo. Attempt to use the ladies near the screen, but as I walk in I see a man in one of the stalls, peeing standing up! No that’s not right, he didn’t even close the door. I know there was probably a queue in the gents opposite as the M to F ratio in the audience was at least 20 to 1 but that’s still not right. Yeah I know I’m not exactly 100% female, but I when I do the ladies I’m presenting as female the best I can and try to be as quick and discrete as possible. Use the other ladies loo.

Right, back on to the street, times getting on, but hey its turned out nice, was cold early and I felt underdressed, but now its just right. Was lunch time, but felt I didn’t have enough time to do my usual sit down pub/bar lunch, wasn’t really hungry anyway, all that popcorn.

Did have a couple of things to buy, first was another pair of leggings. I did mention that fancy meal I was going to, well, I decide to wear my (only) designer dress, from Cop-Copine, when I first saw it in the shop window (over a year ago, wow time flies when you are old) it was displayed with 3/4 leggings and hand made boots. I knew the boots would never fit me, but decided to get some posh leggings to go with it, like it was on the mannequin, so back to Cop-Copine. They now have 2 shops in Islington (that’s just greedy) and the first one was on Upper street, just up from the pictures, easy. They did have leggings, this seasons ones where not the same last years, but they are close enough. How much for leggings? Yikes, buy them anyway. Decline the offer to try them on from the shop assistant, assume they will stretch. Tried them on at home later, fitted perfectly, and quality wise are two steps up from the normal, but they should be at that price.

Time, still got plenty, right, next thing was actually getting a ticket for Torture Garden, rumour has it the event might not sell out due to a requirement to show ID to get in the club, but then I got a message on face book that they where selling fast… Did enquire about getting a ticket from Facebook, someone was selling one, but she said her ex had the ticket and gave me the phone number. Yikes, calling a complete stranger, who was the ex of someone who I only barely know to buy a ticket for a fetish club. No I couldn’t do it, wimped out, decided to get one retail. The website showed a number of specialist fetish and rubber wear dealers carried the tickets and well, there are, oh, on;y about 4 of them in walking distance

Kept walking towards Holloway to go to House of Harlot was wearing flats (which I’d put in some fleecy stuff in to stop them rubbing and causing blisters) and the weather was nice. Buzzed in to House of Harlet (don’t like that in shops) had a look around, their rubber collection is really nice, but it’s even more expensive than Cop-Copine, plus the majority is designed to show and accentuate a cleavage I haven’t got, no sale. But they do have the tickets, ka ching.

Oh plenty of time, stroll back towards home, but have a little browse though the other two fetish shops on Holloway road nearby, Fettered pleasures mostly just has male stuff, but the staff are nice and tell me House of Harlot and Showgirls have much better ladies wear ranges. Showgirls do have a nice ladies wear range, Atsuko Kudo, some of which I could possibly wear, but it’s only a look see, still going to wear my leather stuff.

Well that’s the kinky stuff over with, back to normality, next stop is Tesco’s for food and then back home. Pleasant little trip around the neighbourhood and apart from a few odd looks (which isn’t really a problem is it), without incident.

Make my call to Alternative Footwear, yes they do have size 10 in stock and can deliver by next week, result.

Put feet up, ate bread and cheese, drank wine and watched the rest of Being Human for the rest of the afternoon, lazy or what. Is there going to be another series of Being Human?

Change later, swap plain leggings into another pair, shiny cropped ones this time, put on belt, add a bit more makeup and put on those shoes from Matalan that shouldn’t fit but do. To take pics of course

Pink light went a bit odd. That tee doesn’t do my waist line any favours either.

Time was getting on, and bugger, bit of a make up disaster, some of has gone a bit funny, go emergency touch up with a lot of powder. By the time I was ready it was quarter to 9, dam and I wanted to be in Camden for 9.

Back out into the world, brisk walk (which would of een faster but there was this cat that had to be stroked) to tube station (had changed back into the flats for comfort) and tube to Mornington Crescent. Was going back to the Purple Turtle, this time for a night called Bedsitland

They said the acts (there where 3 bands on the bill) started at 9 and it was 9:15 when I got there, but these clubs never run on time do they. The first band was halfway through their set when I got in, oh well, digital precision I guess.

First act is called Madison, really it’s just the guy, he sings and the backing track is sequence, the girl in the American Apparel high waist shinny shorts was a dancer, the other girl in the half see through top and grey skirt was a singer from another band, but she joined for a few numbers. Like it, good sound, your basic synth pop really, but good synth pop.

Have big new camera with me, there doesn’t appear to be any photo restrictions at this night, so I can shoot with impunity. There are a couple of proper photographers there with big canons, I keep out of there way. Think I got a few nice shots and don’t have to use a flash all night

2nd act is called Fascination (Human league reference?), 2 guys this time, one plays one sings. Again good stuff, singer can sing and has the look and the moves, keyboard player know which buttons to press and I guess their Macbook was doing the drumming.

Another good set, I’m enjoying this. Yes I am out clubbing alone and am probably the only TG person in the room, but well I can enjoy the music and hide behind my camera. Though a brave girl in a leopard skin dress does try to spark up a conversation with me, I’m hard work though turns out she’s a friend of one of the DJ’s and has come down from Wolverhampton for the night! She said she fancies the lead singer of the 3rd band, I tell her to go for it.

The 3rd band, the headline act, Scarlet Soho. Nope never heard of them before, but they 2 guys, one girl, keyboards and guitars, drum machine, vocals, feet on monitors and lots and lots of energy.

Great set, really like, buy a copy of their latest CD “Warpaint” off them afterwards (CD not bad, but they are better live). 3 good bands, no hassle, my outfit isn’t killing me, I’m not drunk, it’s fairly cheap and local, so good night Would like to go again.

Ask one of the photographers to take my pic with my cam, he kindly obliges.

After the bands another DJ comes on, he plays more stuff I recognise and I dance practically inside the speakers to Goldfrapp and the Eurythmics. Reckon not many of the other people in the club remeber Sweet Dreams when it was first in charted like I did, I’m old aren’t I. But not many are dancing, a few girls are swaying a bit, but their boyfriends seem more interested in their pints. Pity, it felt a bit silly (sillier than normal) dancing alone. Its just gone midnight when I called it a night, basically cause the dance floor wasn’t moving and I would just have to lurk alone for the rest of the night if I stayed, me and socials Ok the dance floor may of picked up later, dunno, but I just didn’t want to be Billie no mates waiting to find out.

Left the club and found a different place for chips (that one near the Turtle wasn’t great last time). Cooked fresh and they had mayo, much better. And they called me Madam. Get last tube home. Getting out of the club early did save me a taxi fare I guess.

Take well lit route back from the tube, its still busy and shops are open, so I grab a couple of bits. Walk back is mostly OK . Mostly, as I walk along a car pulls alongside me for a couple of seconds, I look, it’s a chavy lad in a baseball cap driving a “customised” hatchback, yewwww. He doesn’t like what he sees either and drives off.

Ahhh home, Ahhh bed.

Sunday, sort out the photos. WTF, none of my photo conversion software works, what’s happened? A reinstall fixes Capture NX2, but the one I want to use, Capture one, won’t, try reinstalls, registry repairs, and follow all the help docs on the web site, nowt. Just doesn’t start, no error messages or logs, just nothing, bah!!! Process photo’s in NX2, slowly. Its late afternoon till that and all the laundry is done. Want a quite read in the local pub to chill out, but tis full of lads in red shirts, guess there’s a kick about going on.

Next week I am mostly wearing black.

Work sucks and my job security has taken a hit, thought I’d got lucky missing the first round of redundancies but no, they are calling in a 3rd party to do a report on the viability of my department. This 3rd party is an outsourcer and they are doing the report for free, hhrrrmm so expect it to be fair and balanced …. Bah! At least I managed to get out of work early on Friday.

Bank holiday weekend and it wasn’t raining. Yet. Saturday, usual change and photo routine.

Got my Colonial fleet dog tags on and my “Omni Consumer Products” tee shirt (The title for the pic is “You have 20 seconds to comply”), bit geeky? I hope so, I was off to the Sci Fi London Festival, though it’s a bit different this year, less emphasis on films and there a literature panels and the like.

Out just before 11 and wander to the other tube station. Piccadilly Circus, raid cash machine then round the corner to the Apollo Cinema to get my tickets for the events. Inside the cinema there’s a little info stand for the festival, Oh free chocolate, and free books too Pity I’d already read the only interesting looking one, took a little choccy though But you can’t actually buy ticket here, over to the main desk to book (took a little explaining) “Party Like its 1899″, “Recon 2032″ and “Stingray Sam”.

Nearly 12 now and the first even is “Party like it 1899″ panel discussion in half an hour. Original plan was to pop to Forbidden planet for a book signing first, but time was getting on, and I’d decided to wear impractical boots (they just went with the outfit OK) today so I didn’t think I would make it there and back in time, so what do, Lunch?

Yeah lunch, a veggie burger in Ed’s Easy Dinner at the Troccadero.

The staff are very nice, veggie burger merely average (it’s really more of a carnivorous sort of place anyway) and there’s Lulu on the jukebox. Leave a tip even though there’s a service charge.

Have a few more minute to kill after that, to end up in the Troc, taking pics.

I’ve shot it before, but not with new big camera (which I’d packed today), so that’s my excuse. Still I like photographing it, the contrast, the colours, the neon, the verticals etc.

Back into the cinema, oh they have a book stall set up, there’s that new Tony Ballantyne book I wanted to get (He was the one doing the signing) , grab that and find a seat towards the back in the panel discussion . The panel’s title was, as I said before, “Party like its 1899″ and it was about the rise of Steampunk Literature, a genre I do have a passing interest in.

There are 4 people on the panel plus a chair, didn’t recognise most of them, but there was Stephen Hunt, I really like his Kingdom of Jackals novels, he was really the reason I turned up. But there was another name I recognise, Bryan Talbot, the comic artist and writer, hey I used to read his stuff in 2000 AD, wow

It’s a lively panel, the original plan was I think to try and define Steam punk but it goes off at several tangents and they discuss its appeal, of which there’s a large visual element, its about the look But there’s also a romantic idealism, the timelessness of its retro setting, the appeal of the large tactile macro technology (even though it often plays fast and loose with actual physics) and perhaps even the “Britishness” of it. Audience participation was encouraged and many asked questions. But even though I had a few though my self (linking the Steam Punk fashion movement to Burlesque and others) I kept quiet, I was at the back and would have to speak up, I can’t do Helena voice loudly and didn’t want to make (an even bigger than normal) fool of myself.

Do get my copy of “The Rise of the Iron Moon” signed by Stephen Hunt afterwards and grab a picture. Think he was a little uncertain of me though.

I enjoyed the panel, its actually quite rare to hear these sort of books I enjoy so much being discussed. Glad they introduced the literature stream to the event.

But it only took a hour or so, now I had the rest of the afternoon to waste, next thing I wanted to see was a film at 6:15, but I’d actually arranged to meet up with someone at 5, but that still left a few hours to kill.

Just went for a wander, up through Soho, then down, through Regents Street, then across Saville Row, and back round to Haymarket.

Browsed a few shops, A definite maybe on a brocade corset and matching skirt in Nikita Sabier, was less impressed by H&M spring summer offerings, MAC, nah nothing I need and the Apple store, oh look the expensive shinny white stuff, no not my thing, but its got free email access

But it was getting warm in the sunshine and that leatherish jacket and those boots where hutting now, ow, it all started to feel distinctly uncomfortable and I’d had enough by 4, a group of young (early teens I guess) erupted into laughter as I passed them on Haymarket didn’t help (Been a fairly good day reaction wise other than that though).

So I holed up in Tiger Tiger, big chain bar that’s not busy this afternoon, get a large class of Rose, find a sofa at the back, discretely kick off my boots and sink into a book for an while to recharge.

Feeling better, its back across to the Apollo, was meeting Clarissa at 5, still was a bit early, read another half chapter in their bar then go look for her at 5. She was sitting out side of the pictures, with her own book, waiting for me. She’d texted me of course, but muppet features had forgotten her pack my mobile, Doh, Sorry.

We walk back Tiger Tiger, plan was to get a bite before the film, and well, it’s nearby (my fancy boots are still giving me pain, Clarissa is much more sensibly shod) they do do food and it should be Happy Hour by now

Cep’t they do don’t do food in the bar at Happy Hour (which is 3 hours long and wasn’t looking that jolly), oh, over to the restaurant then. They can fit us in if we are quick and we get happy hour price on a reasonable bottle of red. Service is good and the staff are very polite, food, not to bad, but nothing special.

Dinner and talk, mostly geeky stuff really. With most trans people the usual subjects come up, the difficulties, the practicalities, the reactions, the clothes, the hair, the make up etc. these subjects come up because often they are the only thing we have in common,. But I guess since Clarissa both work in IT and well how can I say this nicely, er both just that little bit nerdy we can cover some broader subjects, which is nice.

Back over to the pictures for the film, we sit at the back. Not recommended at Sci Fi London though, they tend to throw out freebies before the start of the film and we where too far back to get them.

The film is Recon 2032, a low budget sci fi actionner, there where a couple of Recon films before this but we where informed it could be enjoyed stand alone. Well it was a low budget B movie, shot very quickly and it had its moments, both visually and verbally, but really it could have been better. Script was the main thing, it needed to flow much better, not introduce random elements with explanation and perhaps not be quite so silly? Not the greatest film really, bit of a disappointment actually.

The director did stand up and answer a few questions about it afterwards, he was good humoured and explained some of what went on in the shoot and the cheesyness, for instance the distributors for a B movie actually required nudity in the at 20 minutes, so a 70’s style exploitation pic type dream sequence was added early on purely to get some boobage on screen.

Perhaps it was the sitting in a dark room, the heat, the boots or the wine (mostly likely all of that and more) but I wasn’t feeling great afterwards, nit of a headache. Decided to skip the next film and get the bus home, say my goodbyes to Clarissa and go find a bus.

Miss one (couldn’t find my oyster card in my enormous bag in time), but get home eventually, as always, snapping pics on the way.

The festival continued on Sunday, but I couldn’t, you know the face doesn’t like it, there was a couple of films and panels I perhaps would of liked to see, but nothing was a must. So basically stayed in, what a slob (Did pop out for some razors later though). Started watching the BBC’s “Being Human” was surprised how seriously they took it, rather liked it, still have 3 episodes to work through. Also started Fallout 3 on my PC, its been on the shelf for a bit, but since I’d given up on my last RPG game I needed a new distraction, its well done very detailed and although there is some humour, it does feel quite bleak though (But it is set in a post apocalypse world, so I guess it should be bleak). Also ate and drank to much, me bad

Monday, bank holiday and look at those dark clouds they know don’t they. Face cleans up OK without too much blood, but what to wear, hadn’t panned. End up with a tee shirt, pin stripe jacket, denim shorts and grey boots. Bit miss mash, but hopefully should be fashionable, comfortable but anonymous enough for everyday wear. Those boots fit really well and I can walk miles in them, ain’t making the same mistake I made on Saturday (no I have different ones to make).

Out, 11ish as usual, only small bag, little cam and just one book this time. Bus then tube to Marble Arch.

Didn’t have that much to do really, only thing arranged was meeting up with Clarissa at 5ish to see another film, well that’s a bit long to just hang around, but C did mention she was hitting a panel at 3:45 on the festivals last day I wasn’t so sure about it, but well I didn’t have anything better to do, so why not.

But that still left me a few hours, well I’m on Oxford street, might just have to force my self to have lunch out and do some shopping Was still looking for a black denim mini, but none could be found, its all white and blue. Other than that, not a lot took my eye, some shoes in Evan perhaps (and s sales assistant who was almost my height) but I did notice places like Primark and New Look, Top Shop and even River Island etc. getting in with a sort of American Apparel look, a lot leggings and some skirts, really tight fitting, bold colours and often shinny materials. I was tempted, really was (me like tarty shinny ;)), but resisted, well I don’t really have many occasions to go to where I could get away with wearing that sort of stuff, and I already had some from American Apparel anyway.

Stinky bishop madam? don’t mind if I do I smiled. They where offering cheese samples in Selfridges food hall you see (Stinky bishop is a cheese, honest) and this had got me back on the cheese thing again, so that was what I was looking for for lunch. Tried one pub, was almost ready to order, but then realised I had no cash, oops, out to a cash machine. Then I decided I didn’t like that pub anyway. Ended up at a much nicer one in Cavendish square, behind Oxford circus called “The Phoenix”, glass wine, grilled goats cheese sarnie, sofa and book, happy Pub is nice, big and comfy, good music and a laid with a back atmosphere, unlike a lot of tiny traditional west end places that have virtually no seats and are a bit too blokey.

Right back to the shops, still got an hour or two. Had covered most of the west half of the street and was in Zara just looking, not my usual haunt, but a white tuxedo jacket caught my eye, had to go to Xtra large to get one that fitted right but it did fit and I think it looked good, idea’s popped into my head about what to wear with it and that clinched the deal, sold. Have a posh dinner coming up week after next, this might do as I have to look smart.

Decided to wander back towards Marble arch after that, remember something in River Island I was interested in. Main branch hasn’t got them in my size, keep going to other branch. Ah they do, but decided against that oversized union jack themed (spotted a few of this sort of look bout in Top Shop etc) tee shirt (I’d seen it in the London Paper) and that black shinny stretchy mid calf skirt (that AA look again) was a bit much, but I spotted this little cropped retro “Chelsea girl” tee shirt, had to get that Chelsea Girl in River Island, that’s a retail industry in joke

Shopping done and have just enough time for a lazy walk back through Mayfair to Piccadilly in the light drizzle. Find this little park/garden I hadn’t seen before. Guess not many others know it either as it was deserted. Hey photo opportunity

So far the day had been going OK, a few looks, but no male pronouns, even got biped at by a lorry driver, his passenger was almost leaning out to get a better look as they passed. But I am wearing shorts, I always seem to get comments and stuff when I’m out wearing shorts, is it the amount of leg on display getting more attention, or the fact they fit a bit to tight around the crotch or what? So the inevitable happened, shop assistant in Pret on Piccadilly was a little unsure, but managed to be polite if a little cold, oh dear I’m loosing it, then as I walk out and a man with a Northern accent exclaims “Look at that” to his wife. Guess he wasm’t local, or from Manchester even and doesn’t see many T-girls about normally.

Do a scouting run the restaurant for the posh do as I’m in the area, well I think I’m in the area, ask a Doorman outside the Ritz for directions, he gives me them, but quite abruptly. Down the street to the end, ah I can see it, but on the way I’m bid “Good morning” loudly by two blokes outside a pub on the other side of the road, which is odd, doubly odd cause its mid afternoon. The restaurant isn’t far though and the menu isn’t quiet as scary as I first thought it would be, phew. Plus it’s in tottering (uncomfortable shoes are looking quite likely for this evening) of Green Park tube and a suitable bus stop. Looks good.

Right lets get to the Apollo, it looks like the shields are down and so I better go hide in a dark cinema. The panel discussion as a women led one “Woman in a man’s world”, with female authors discussing how they find the male dominated world of Hard Science Fiction. To be honest I was a little nervous about it, me er only being part sort of womanish perhaps on weekends and all, doesn’t feel like its my place. But there where some men in the auditorium though, so I guess there’s a mix. Get a seat towards the back, in the dark, spot Clarissa as she comes in and wave her up.

It’s another good panel, I’d read books by two of the authors there, Pat Cadigan and Jainne Fenn, might have to look for novels by the other, Liz Williams. As before it sort of went of tangent, with the authors indicating they do not feel discriminated against as female Sci Fi authors these days (the publishing industry is predominantly female anyway), but the discussions moved on to feminism and diversity and science in general. They did touch on diversity and yes, Sci Fi fans are predominantly teen and older white males and so was the majority of the attendees and the guests of the festival. Well I don’t quite put myself in that group really (but I can associate with them), so there was a little diversity there, but I think the big problem with SF is its still seen as “Sad” and Sad is mostly the realm of white male nerds.

Hard SF is slightly below train spotting on the cool charts, so people won’t go near it, or if they do, wouldn’t admit it if they are not already nerdy. Perhaps it will get better and more diverse, does SF needs a pride movement so people can come out of the closet? It has its some small parallel to the T world doesn’t it? Perhaps this is why I’m in both and am not the only one. Guess It has got better in the recent years, well with lighter SF and fantasy based TV and films gaining popularity, look at the success of the likes of Doctor Who, Harry Potter and lot of the special effects laden blockbuster Hollywood movies we get etc, but I think SF novels and cool or even general acceptance (and thus probably gain some diversity) has a long way to go.

After the talk and questions (again I keep quiet) I try to get a picture (they complained all the pics from the festival where of men) and say hi, but I fail. Perhaps it’s me, but did I sense some unease with me? Oh I’m getting paranoid.

Clarissa and I go on anfterwards to the next film. Its not actually one at the festival, the program was coming to a halt anyway, no we actually went over to Leicester square and got tickets for Wolverine, we’re a bit early, so we do a couple of loops around the block. On the way Clarissa explains what she was up to at the festival on Sunday, seems she did wel, attended some more talks, saw another film and made some friends, she was a pretty single girl in a short skirt at a Sci Fi convention after all.

Back to the cinema, busy isn’t it. In the sub genre of big budget Hollywood superhero flics, it’s one of the better ones I think, not the best, but much better than say Daredevil or the Fantastic four. Bit silly though in parts, even for a superhero film and I think the effects weren’t looking quite so seamless towards the end. Over all, a solid popcorn muncher. Don’t think the leaked early version has hit the sales much, it appears to be doing great business.

After the film, we both take it in turns to go the wrong way out the cinema. Tired and hungry, that’s the problem, so we found somewhere for dinner. I suggested somewhere cheap and cheerful in Soho, Clarissa didn’t mind so we wandered over. Coming towards old Compton Street a group of girls struggling with a map ask for help, I turn and say Yes and they get a good look at me. Suddenly they decide they don’t need help

Also get a WTF from a bloke in the restaurant (must be another tourist, this is Old Compton Street FFS), not doing well am I. But we manage, a basic but not unpleasant diner at the Soho Stockpot with a bottle of the house red rounds off the weekend nicely. I try to be good and don’t have desert.

Walk Clarissa to the tube station afterwards, lovely to see you again, hope I didn’t bore you senseless and cya in a couple of weeks. Brrr got cold by now, glad the bus doesn’t take long to turn up. Ah my stop, “Hey sexy” a man says as I get off the top deck, he didn’t see my face, out on to the street, round the corner and home.

Next weekend, well I might just go dancing, you never know, but there’s this little film ypu probably haven;t heard of called “Star Trek” being released, I might just be able to find the time to see it

BTW

The title for this entry means “Get a life”

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In Klingon