I’m going in.

 

Helena Love has gone boarding.

A grey week, felt tired and lethargic, lost the will to diet so it turned into a fat week, chips and booze are my downfall.

Feeling a little more up by Thursday, picked up some cheap white jeans in Primark cause I saw a GG wearing some with tan boots and a black coat in there and she looked great. Also pickup my freshly waxed snowboard from Snow and Rock, it’s now ready for the mountains, but was I? Had the distinct feeling I was missing a snowboarding sock, hadn’t seen all 3 pairs for ages and 2.5 pairs wasn’t enough, so trawled the outdoor shops in the Covent Garden cluster to find more. Couldn’t find them in most places, and those that did, Yikes, how much, for socks? Left sockless. But did buy another camera, that’s camera number 3, another yikes, this one isn’t a fancy one though, it’s a small 7mp obsolete compact that was on clearance (Pentax W20). It’s not a patch on the other 2, but it does have its niche, it’s waterproof enough and small enough to carry whilst boarding, and if I fall on it to hard and break it, well haven’t broken one of my good cameras and it probably won’t break me (like the other 2 would).

Nearly did that on Friday, break a good camera, the G9 fell out of my “man bag” onto concrete, yikes, but a little scratched paint was the only damage, phew, it’s a tough little thing. Ah Friday, feeling much better now (it being pay day helped too) , positively buzzing as I got out of work. Train isn’t fast enough to get me back to London.

Like this time of week, sure I’ve said this before, the whole weekend of possibilities lies ahead.

Saturday, Helena day, and oh another social Southern Angels meal in the West End, but that’s a 7pm, what to do with the rest of the day? Well I suppose I could look around the shops, there’s nothing I really need though….

Slow getting ready, plain, shopping clothes not really going out clothes, face doesn’t go well (and that’s not the right colour lippy is it), neither do pictures, use 2 flash bounced off the walls instead of brollies for a change, no flash shadow, but not really enough light on the face.

Gone 12 before I get out, where does the time go? Wander though the park in sunshine, actually been a few weeks since I’ve been out so much in the light, esp in a skirt, feeling a little self conscious (esp with the red shirts about) and its head down Tube to the Bond street.

Hungry now, though the Bond Street tube shops require a look see, get can of girlie deodorant from Superdrug. This is the 3rd can of this stuff I have bought, used once a week it lasts about a year. Food, hrrmm, something light, Sushi, yeah, get a spot at the bar in the Yo Sushi behind Boots. Not eaten at this branch before, but it’s the same as the others. Fill on veggie fried rice to save me from wolfing down to many little costly plates. Nice meal, not exactly authentic Japanese, but fills the spot and the service/reaction is all fine.

So lets look around the shops for a bit, head down the street, glancing a few places, wish those Walk discount shoe places went up to my size End up in Primark, how unusual, wandering around find a nice grey pencil skirt and matching waist coat both with a few little frills, not something I need, but oh its cute, and I can wear it them with perhaps a pink or black blouse, sort of flirty office wear (er not that I go to the office in Helena mode, but so what) and they have my size, I’ll take that. Some tiger stripe tights get purchased to, no idea what I will wear them with, Primark always seem to manage to sucker me into buying fancy tights on impulse.

Cross the road, spot a pair of size 9 boots in the Barratts sale, fit OK, but the calf is too floppy and they are sort of patent black, decide not to. Barratts are in trouble at the mo, last I head there’s going to be a management buyout, but a large number of stores (Barratts and Shoe zone) will close. Hope they survive, its ones of the best places for reasonably priced sized 9s on the high street.

Evans, grey cowboy boots in the sales, yeah wanted a pair, but the 8 is to tight, and 9 is floppy and the calf and ankle are huge, again decide not to, get a pair of bangles instead.

Continue up the street, just wandering in and out of shops, no plan, just impulse shopping, get a sort of long lumberjack type shirt in New Look cause I like how it looks on a mannequin with a denim mini and a tan jacket. Kid myself I can pull that look off.

Selfridges, just to trawl for freebies really but get a snack for later from their EAT concession. Get a fairly hard sell on some skin serum stuff, it feels nice on but don’t go for it. I use the Boots P&P stuff anyway.

Jane Normal, not my usual haunt, as their styles mostly either seems to be very low cut at the front (not great for me) or if they have a high neck, no sleeves (again not great). But there’s this pinstripe blazer on a mannequin, with black jeans and a little white print T-shirt, very rock chick (another kid myself I can pull it off look) and there it is, try one on, larger size, but it fits really well, but oh, its how much? But, but, sod it, buy it.

HMV, been listening to my 2 Ladytron (retro electro cool as F*k slightly kraftwerkish with breathy female vocals) CD’s a lot recently and wanted some more. Find what is I think their latest, 9 quid, yeah have that, take it to pay. Thanks MATE, here you go MATE, Have a nice weekend MATE goes the smarmy little git serving. Leave the shop with my CD, dejected, perhaps I should of complained or something, but I’m a wus as usual. Next time I’ll download instead.

Still down, wander though House of Frasier, “Excuse me Darling could I interest you in…” goes a more than slightly camp young man in the concessions area, wave him off, but it does raise the spirits a little. Strawberry milkshake from their branch of Nero helps with that to. Shouldn’t let silly little things like “mate” get me down.

After finishing my milkshake, its back across the road to another branch of Barratts, to see if they have any more size 9’s . They do, so black leather calf length boots with killer heels. They fit, but I can see they would be painfull if I tried to walk to far in them (But cheapo the shoe zone cowboy boots with 2″ heel I’m wearing are like slippers oddly enough). Try them on, not a great fit at the toe, but the rest is good, and they look a bit sexy. Not a boot for shopping, but clubbing, or nights out etc, they will work. But I do already have a couple pairs of boots like, but I don’t wear them, they just don’t fit properly, I could replace them with these new ones and get a better fit and more cupboard space (2 for 1), plan. Bought. The staff at the big Barratts on Oxford street are always very helpful and polite, I hope its one of the ones that survive. Shoe shop success again helps with the spirits.

Have quite a haul now, spent far more than I expected, but well strike while the iron (or the debit card) is hot. Look around a few more places, Zara, H&M, Top Shop before heading down in to Soho.

It’s really just to check I know where everything is for tonight, but I wanted to head towards Covent garden anyway and its on they way. Yep bars is still there, and the Restaurant, ah just around the corner, good.

On to Covent garden, little geek out in Forbidden plant to get a book and some DVD’s, down through Neal Street, stop in MAC, get some new Studio Sculpt? Nah not today, check face and hair, still on, but hair needs a brush.

By the time I’m at the Piazza its around 5, again where does the time go? Stop for a little breather in the church Yard. Realise the incarnation of this place in Hell Gate London wasn’t to bad (compared the rather loose interpretation of London in the rest of the game) . Less Daemons though (but do living statues and street entertainers count?).

One more shop and that’s it, Trespass, another of those snow/mountain places (I missed it on Thursday, so it was the reason I cam to Covent Garden really), but nope, no snowboard socks, dam.

Shopped out now, need a proper sit down, but it’s still a bit early for the meet up. Slowly wander back towards Soho.

Stop in an internet café to check my mail, nope noe, hope everyone’s still coming. After pop into Revolution for a glass of wine. This is not the bar we where meeting up in, as well I didn’t want to hang around alone in there for to long, so decide to wait here for a bit first instead. It’s a bit rowdy actually, busier than I thought it would be, glad we didn’t use this a place to meet actually. Find a table and settle in for a chapter or two of the book. Bunch of lads might of spotted me and exclaimed “That’s a Geezer” but can’t be 100% sure. Rowdy people makes it s tad uncomfortable, so don’t linger too long.

Back to Slug And Lettuce, its about six fifteen on a Saturday night and its pretty busy, dam, no tables free, oh perhaps I should booked, hole up against a little divider with another glass of wine and read, keeping an eye out for a table to come free. Feel a little exposed, but nothing comes of it, people just go about their business ignoring me. After 5 minutes, yes, free table, move fast and claim it.

After grabbing the table it doesn’t tale long for the others to arrive, Alina and Bob, Louise, Saffy, Carissa, Stephanie, Olga and Jess (we where worried you wouldn’t make it, you have been a bit mysterious the last few days). More wine and some olives (pity they weren’t stoned) is ordered, introductions are made to new faces and we have a nice chat. There was a little spat on the forums about all this, but the main cause of the disturbance didn’t turn up in the end, which was actually a relief to all of us. Its about 8 and we are all hungry, about time to eat, as we are leaving Kimberly turns up, hey that’s the lot (Troll excepted), on to Balans. One of the bars staff bid’s us “Good night ladies” as we leave

Balans is apparently a bit of a Soho institution (didn’t know, my first time), it looked very busy, and we didn’t have a firm booking, but they where sort of expecting us and found a table for 10 of us in just a few minutes, don’t quite know how they managed that. Wine and conversation flows, and then food arrives, quite promptly really and of course, the cameras come out

Foods not half bad, perhaps a little more bread on the Greek Platter starter to soak up the dips perhaps, but the Salmon risotto was very nice. Didn’t hear any complaints about the food from anyone else either and the service is pleasantly attentive without being obtrusive. Skip desert, go for Irish Coffee instead, well its desert, coffee and an after dinner drink all in one The bill was slightly less than I expected too, result. Can see why it’s a bit of a Soho institution now

Must be around 10, nice as the restaurant was, I need a breath of the fresh night air. Must have been a bit wobbly by now with the wine. Alina and Bob bid us farewell, nice to meet you both, but the rest head towards Covent Garden (again). A few of the more energetic want to go on clubbing down Dury Lane, so I lead the way. Spot another group of T-girls outside the theatre on Old Compton Street as we pass, don’t recognise anyone.

It’s a bit early for the club so we stop for a night cap at the White Hart, allegedly London’s oldest licensed drinking establishment on the corner of Dury Lane. But it’s only for one drink, a few now gone to the club, most settle for a Taxi home. It was lovely to see you all, let’s do this again, and Brighton when it gets warm is a must.

I’m to tidily, to tired, to underdressed and to laden with shopping bags for clubbing, so I just walk Stephanie back to the tube station and go to find a bus home.

Jump on the first one going in my direction, change at Angel. Well that was the plan. A girl and a fairly camp gay guy in a dinner jacket are having a bit of an argument on the bus, she’s homophobic, he makes bitchy comments back, dunno who started it, they where trading insults as I got on. A first it seems just fairly light hearted and merely banter, but it starts to get a little more personal. The big fat wus here doesn’t get involved, head down, try not to be noticed, but some of the other passengers try to calm things down, most are actually on the gay guys side actually (this is Islington). Bus driver decides he has had enough and stops the bus on Rosebury avenue. Decide discretion is the better part of valour and get off, several others join me, its not far to walk to Angel anyway. But 2 minutes up the street, I’m passed by the girl who was arguing, she was running, she runs off into the night, she wasn’t being chased, but I guess the rest of the bus passengers made it clear she wasn’t welcome.

Get to Angel, bus indicator says next one is 15 minutes, sod it, don’t want to wait, get chips (yeah after all that food, as I said my downfall) and walk home, but its not cold, my feet don’t kill me, and nobody appears to give me a second glance, so its OK. Nearly one when I get in.

Sleep all Sunday morning. Haven’t had a lie in like that for ages.

Do washing and sort out photo’s all afternoon, Hey there’s the missing snowboard sock

4 and a bit days and counting till the mountains…

Weekend started early with Friday off, my time in lue, but nothing exciting really, waiting for the post to come, woot, my new boobies, my ebay top and my poverty wizards all arrived. Boobs where some more bosom friends, next size up, a large C small D on me, top was a black lace shrug thing, pretty, but not quite long enough to wear with a corset as a top

(Dull camera and Ian shopping now follows, best skip forwards to the pictures of the pretty girls in their underwear towards the end)

Poverty wizard is a term occasionally used by photographers (strobists really) to describe an inexpensive brand of flash radio trigger (the professional and pretty expensive versions there are know as “pocket wizards” you see). These triggers are composed of a little transmitter thingy you mount on the camera’s hot shoe, and a receiver with a shoe you attach to the flash unit (got 3 receivers one for each flash). Build quality of the little things is poor and the only instructions that came with them where in Chinese (but they are pretty self explanatory), but they do actually work and they are a 10th of the price of the pro ones.

Got these cause, well, CLS and the pop up flash is well buggered on my D80 and this will give me remote flash back again without having to mount the SB800 on the camera (guess I need to send it back to Nikon, but that will take ages and I don’t want to be without the camera). Plus being radio not infrared, they should be a little more reliable and not need a line of sight. Bonus, the transmitter also works on my little G9 to You don’t get TLL though with these like you do with CLS, but to be honest, I never use it, I like the consistency of the manual flash and can shoot, check the histogram and the review picture and make adjustments as I need. I think really clever flashes and TLL is actually less important these days with digital, whereas with film you didn’t get the chance to review until the film was developed.

Played with the flashes and the new gels I got , find I can cut these in half, fold over 5mm at the top and cut a couple of notches then I can slip them into the flash heads easily and we have the magic of colour

Still would like another flash (or two) though, just to light up the background, just a simple (and cheap) dumb one with manual power settings I can use as a slave.

Even though its my day off still login to work to check stuff, dam another failure, kick system until it works again. Right, lets go out, though in Ian mode, could of done Helena I suppose, but decide to save my face for Saturday as I want to look my best then (best is a relative term).

Tube to Covent garden, drop off snowboard to be waxed, its going to the mountains soon (less than 2 weeks, yay) and it needs to be prepared.

Then to Angels fancy dress at Cambridge Circus, the outfit for the weekend was a period one, ad I needed a new wig, saw the perfect one on Angels website, The Ghost of Marie Antoinette, period but gothicy. But they didn’t have it in stock. Settle for a more conventional white period wig instead.

After that trawl a few camera shops, find a simple optical slave trigger in Jaccobs I can use for a flash, if I find that cheap one I want. Do find a very cheap flash in Jessops, but it’s got no manual power adjustment, only TTL, so it’s not what I need.

Walk over to Hatton Garden, London’s Jewellery quarter, grabbing some Japanese for lunch on the way. Didn’t come for sparklies, plan was to scout out the bar Saturdays event is being held in, walk through the market (small but quite cool, must come back another day in girl mode), realise I didn’t know the exact address, but find the place Clerkenwell House easy enough. Looks nice, (don’t go in though), location, well if I go up that side street, I’m back on Rosebury avenue, with the bus stop, and a bit further up is the Kebab shop and the mini cab office, good, don’t want to walk home this time.

Walk then bus then walk (what’s with the traffic?) to Camden, just for a look see (Cyberdog have a new shop, not sure I like it as much as the old one) and to pick up some last minute accessories. Find a large red ruby ring (for £3.50, I suspect it’s not a real ruby) and a really cute black rose hair thingy with beads and feathers.

Also find another cheap flashgun, but it doesn’t work with the trigger thanks for the man in Curries for letting me test it though. Back home via M&S as they are doing a Valentines promotion, main, side, starter, desert for two, bottle of bubbly and a single rose for £20. No Valentine to share it with though, Sob but there’s enough food there for 4 meals for me, can’t complain at the bubbly (ok I can, its Kiwi sparking wine and a little rough) and the rose can make useful prop for photo’s. Not a great veggie selection for mains though (winge winge winge)

Saturday, big night out Corsets and Diamonds : Dangerous Liaisons, and I have just the OTT outfit to wear, but what to do in the daytime? Photograph said OTT outfit of course Bathe and shave, ow a lump thing about Marie Antoinette, let them eat cake? (apparently this is a misquote) right I need a cake, oh and a glass for the fizzy wine. Dash to local shops, Greggs has a little Valentines cup cake and another has plastic champagne glasses, nealry 2 quid the lot, nothing but the best for my photo’s ;).

Do nails, ruby red, not very well and change into the costume. It’s really hard to tie up that corset and that skirt is just to big, even with the tie at the waist pulled all the way in its not very secure. Jacket won’t close all the way, but I like it with the corset visible. Visible zip isn’t very period though.

Do face, had been watching period makeup tutorials on You Tube, do face pale (NW15 Studio Tech) with lots of power and pink blush, pinky peachy (don’t have quite the right shade) eye shadow with a lined upper lid, red lips and a little heart shapped beauty mark on the cheekbone (done with eyeliner). Really should of drawn that on the other side shouldn’t I, mirrors can confuse my feeble brain.

That’s rather to many pics of the same outfit, but I did like them so. Use a pale red gel on one of the SB600’s to illuminate the background (the other one and the 800 are required to nuke my face) but I can only get it one half of back cloth lit with it, this is why I need another. Use the rose, the mask and fan I got ages ago, the cake and fizz (with a drop of Crème de Cassis to take the edge off it and make it into a Kir Royal) . Though I did forget the strawberries though (the desert part I picked as part of that valentine meal offer). Wig doesn’t really provide a face frame and the blokeyness shows though in the chin and jaw line pale makeup seems to work though.

Do another set, without the skirt and the jacket and higher heels showing of my best What Katie Did’s The stockings are two pairs worn over each other, one plain, one patterned.

Take this outfit into the bedroom….

Cause, well I can. And I haven’t done this sort of pic for a while. Result is a bit silly really though, sexy is not a look I have mastered, probably never will. Still the flickrites seem to like them (bunch of pervs the lot of you ;)).

About 6 now, some time to kill, load pics (what 175!) into the PC and recharge the batteries.
Now how am I going to get all of this lot to Clerkenwell on the bus? Pack the jacket, skirt, mask and fan into a rucksack and wear a plain long skirt, a black cardi, black coat and the usual blonde hair, much less conspicuous, though the period makeup might be noticed.

By the time I’ve noodled about getting everything ready, touching up the make up, polishing off the bubby (well it will just go flat), eating the cake (again it would just go stale) its about 8:30 and time to go.

There’s the bus, run, and, and, it pulls away just as I get to the stop Give the driver the finger. Next bus takes ages to come and when I’m on it it takes ages to crawls though the road works (and a badly parked police van) at Angel. But no one seems to notice me and we get there eventually.

Find the bar again, doorman opens the door and smiley girl takes my cash, then find somewhere to change. There’s not really much of a place to do this, end up in a dark corner of the basement bar, not the best location, but we have to make do with what we have. Girl helps me tighten my corset and tie it off. She does it very tight, I’m convinced GG’s get a sadistic pleasure doing up tranny’s corsets very tightly

Store by bag and coat at the cloak room, check my face in the mirror in the loo (not very big) and here we go.
Spot Louise in the main bar (The mask doesn’t fool me hun ;)) with a couple of others, get some drinks in and settle in for the evening. Cept sitting down in this corset isn’t very comfortable. And I’ve lost my mask, had it when I got here, now its gone, can’t find it, dam. Oh well, it was only joke shop tatt anyway. Philippa and Penny turn up later, all in all I spot about 5 or 6 FtM TG, (a few of the other attendees could be described as FtM but I couldn’t be 100% sure and would want to go around slapping labels on people), not as many as last time, and I think the overall attendance was a bit down (though the bar is bigger, perhaps that was an illusion). Have a feeling many couples that would would of came had alternative plans cause it was Valentines night.

Have the usual problem of trying to talk to people though, especially with all the loud music, manage a little camera nerd talk with a photographer though. But the entertainment starts up with Miss Katy comparing and my camera at the ready.

Try to balance ambient versus flash and still stop motion, but its hard with fast moving Burlesque Dancers, so a number of the pics aren’t that sharp and the strings from the red balloons get in the way, sorry. But these are just my stupid problems, the performers are great. There where 5 this time, all doing something different, I liked Miss Von Kitten’s good girl goes bad with a bit of burlesque to AC/DC the best. Burlesque to heavy metal, is that a first? Though I seem to have forgotten to process the pictures from the last act (and I’ve forgotten most of their names too, Doh! I really should take paper and pencil to these things.

Plus Miss Katy does here own effervescent comparing between the acts, and treats one young lady to a birthday lap dance. No you are not seeing those pictures. Maybe I should claim it’s my birthday next time (OK I know that wouldn’t work, I’m not exactly her type) Plus there’s a little costume contest and some comedy marriage thingys. Think the entertainment is better this time, and the bar does have a little area that works as a stage too.

Had a few drinks by now (That cocktail was rather heavy on the Vodka and light on the Champagne and Cranberry if you ask me) and have enough confidence to go around trying to snap everyone. There are some fabulous costumes, and some very skimpy costumes on fabulous bodies, but several of the gentlemen have made an effort too. Pics galore, some aren’t bad IMHO, thanks to everyone who let me snap them. A few where a little cheeky though, candid’s or grabbing a quick snap while people pose for other  photographers (one advantage of the SLR, speed, I can get a shot off in less than half the time it takes a compact).

If anyone wants a full resolution version of any of those pics get in touch quick, the RAW files tend to only live on my hard drive for a week before they are deleted to save space. If anyone doesn’t like their picture let me know to, I will delete it immediately.

After the entertainment the ground floor bar peters out a bit and no one is dancing. Investigate the downstairs to see if more is happening. Oh it is

Lots more people, dancing, and er noticeably less clothes Do manage to have a little dance, its have to lift up the skirt, but I can swish it around. Nearly tripped over it on the stairs. Take pics, drink a little more and dance a bit, mostly, sadly, by myself, but a couple of pretty girls do dance with me for a little bit, which is well, half the reason I go to these sort of things

Due to the fact a number of people (well slim attractive young women)  are showing their stockings, it was late, my skirt is rather cumbersome and warm and well I’d had a bit to much to drink, I remove my skirt and jacket and deposit them in the cloak room. Continue dancing in my pants, must of looked even more ridiculous (if that’s possible), but don’t seem to care. Pop back upstairs, Louise and the others appear to have departed, there’s not many around. Couple take my photo for me. I’m unable to coherently tell them where the Way-out club is though in return

Back downstairs and dance a little more, but after a bit the lights come up, well that’s it I guess, managed to last to the bitter end, join the scrum at the cloak room, they have a bit of trouble finding my coat but we are reunited eventually.

In the cloakroom queue as GG asks me if I sleep with girls or boys, I reply honestly, neither really, but I have a preference for girls, she’s asks if she can give me her phone number, I’m sort of non comitial and she looses interest. There where many girls at the night I would give my right arm for, but er, well she wasn’t one of them. OK that was a little mean, sorry. I really should have been nicer, I mean, a GG actually vaguely interested in me, that doesn’t happen very often (As rare as the cows coming home carrying rocking horse droppings under a blue moon really). I blame the drink.

Change back into my plain skirt and big coat, quick dash into the ladies (the only mirror I could find) to swap hair back to the blond. Don’t really make much of an effort, it was late and it would do.

Ready to go now, give my thanks to Monica and head out into the night. There was an after party going on though , they where giving out arm bands to people for it. I didn’t have one, but I suspect from some of the vague descriptions about who should come, I wouldn’t really be welcome anyway. It was also gone two by now and an old fart like me needed to sleep anyway.

Walk to Rosebury Avenue, its not too cold, get chips at the Kebab shop and pop into the Mini cab office nearby, the woman behind the desk calls me doll and beckons over a driver, hey no wait or queue, result. He asks me not to make a mess in his cab, I agree not to eat my chips, but I suspect from my general wobbliness he thought I might do something else (done that before, oops, glad I had a hat that time, though I had to bin it afterward). But apart from that he gets he home quickly. Deslap, dig myself out of the corset and bed.

Sunday, mild hangover and OMG, I have 350 pictures to sort out. Don’t manage to do much else.

Next week is the Angels meal, should be fun, there’s been a little spat on the message board but I don’t think the troll will turn up now. Snowboarding in 10 days and counting.

Yeah it was a mad week, so here’s some midnight snow pictures first.

Monday, it’s like the whole of London just went “SNOW DAY!” and gave up working, certainly all the transport did. Didn’t even try to go in, did some of my work from home, but I was nice and relinquished my connection to the system to let others on during lunch (everyone was working from home, so we didn’t have enough connections for everyone). But when I tried reconnect, no free lines, oh dear. Didn’t have much to do anyway, was just waiting for stuff to run. So I went snowboarding. In my local park Got a little stick for it from the chavs, but some wow cool from some of the kids. Pity I couldn’t actually ride, it was sort of skate a bit, then ride for a few metres and run out of steam, and skate again, there’s just not enough gradient in my park. Should of gone to Finsbury park, or Hampstead Heath or something.

That was a pleasant diversion, the rest of the week, well I have to get a system back up and running after a major upgrade, bah, mostly working stupid hours, running stuff, tracing problems, waiting, lots of waiting, Mostly from home, went into work on Wednesday, was going OK till I got some bad news and dropped a very loud F bomb in the middle of the office. A little sleep depravation was going on perhaps. It was all moving, but then I ran out of space, yeah much enhanced system going live, lots of things getting made bigger and more complex, you think they would give me more space, no. Space issues sort of held everything back, you would think a organisation that turns over several billion a year would have a problem finding the extra 20gb I needed, but ours does, and all the politics and paper work not helping one bit. Made myself useful in the mean time, stuff like optimising loads at 5am in the morning (not allowed to do it in the day, affects users to much) and weird shit like that. Wasn’t till very late Thursday until we got moving again, well not actually Thursday, 4am Friday, been up all night.

Slept Friday morning, afternoon, things where still running, ETA was 1am Saturday the fat lady hadn’t sung yet. Work didn’t need me, so what to do, I needed a break from it all, the stupid hours, the stupid politics, the being alone for hours on end in my stupid cold flat and the whole stupid mess.

Helena time and some retail therapy, that’s what I needed. Clean up and change into a basic jeans and sweater outfit, jeans where a bit shinny and purple, but the rest was just black. Not a brave outfit, but I didn’t feel like pushing it. Even couldn’t be bothered to take a proper photo

Out by three thirty and on the train to Camden, it’s Corsets and Diamonds next week, had spotted something fantastic from my fav Lip Service and the cash machine was telling me I was better off than I thought I was, so decided to hit the Goth places trying to find it. Couldn’t went to backup plan and enhance the outfit I have, the burgundy corset from last time, with a long skirt this time, but what on top? Had ordered some cheap lace thing off e-bay, but it hadn’t arrived and I wasn’t 100% sure about it anyway, but there, on a mannequin in one of those Goth shops was a jacket, perfectly colour matched, lacey with bell sleeves and ribbons, perfect. It was their last one, they only had it in large, no problem I thought. Cept it was, couldn’t do it up not even the large I was the fat lady. A weeks staring at computer screens and eating junk hadn’t helped the waist line But done up it would cover the corset, so I bought it anyway and will wear it as a bolero type jacket undone. Maybe if I shift the pounds I can wear it properly sometime in the future. Pick up some patterned stockings in another place.

Tube to the west end. Grab Korean sushi by centre point for later, then books in Forbidden Planet (stocking up for my holiday), oh look new Stephan Hunt Wander off down Covent Garden, stopping in MAC, needed some more foundation, had nearly ran out, but a sparkley “New York Apple” lippy demanded to be bought too. MAC have a new foundation Studio Sculpt, the girl in the shop extolled its qualities, build-able medium to full cover, moisturising and lifting and gave me a little free sample to take home, which is nice.

Wander through the Covent Garden now, pretty much had everything, but didn’t want to go home just yet.

That’s a pretty andro look really isn’t it, as I said not brave, still no stick came my way and a few people did use female pronouns.

Go up towards Cambridge Circus and into Soho, decide to scout out the places for the Southern Angels meal in a couple of weeks, location for the meal had been decided, but we needed somewhere for an aperitif so I checked a couple of places.

Walking up Wardour Street there’s this newish large upmarket bakery sort of place, forget the name, stop for a look. Walk out with some savoury veggie bread sort of thing that is very very tasty and some olive bread, with really large juicy olives in it, which is gorgeous. Oh think of the carbs I’m going back there. Last stop was across to Dean Street to Tesco’s for Groceries and bus home.

I’m back working by 11, things appear to be getting closer, please work, please finish, estimate that load will now finish at 2:30, set alarm and catch a few winks. 2:39, it finished, phew, can do the final little bits, shouldn’t take long. 6:50am and they are finished, they did take long, been up most of the night!. But that’s it, its all in, all the data is there, total relief, its been a hell of a week, I lost the plot a couple of times and both me and my flat are in a state. The fat lady sings a little tune.

I’m exhausted, but wired, crack open a beer and some wasabi peas to celebrate, yeah its not even 7am and I’m drinking, but I needed it. In fact I needed 2. Crawl into bed around 7:30

Should of slept all day, but I’m up at lunchtime, not sure why, guess I should try and re-establish normal sleep patterns I guess. What to do, more Helena time, why not except my flat appears to have run out of water, virtually no pressure, Bah, it does this from time to time. Too little pressure and I don’t get hot water, so can’t really shave, so can’t really do Helena. So do the unnatural and go out on Saturday in Ian mode. Been a while since I’d done that.

Decide to try and purge some fat and walk all the way in. via Tottenhamcourt Road, decide it was boy shopping time. Had an idea about my camera, the flash is playing up, won’t trigger the remote flashes with CLS, and the exposure can even be a little screwy in normal mode. Convinced my self the problem was power, the battery must have gone off and it’s not supplying the juice. The woman in the camera shop wasn’t so sure, and told me to bring the camera in to test first before spending £50 on a new battery. She was sensible, I was not, bought a battery (cheaper copy) in another shop anyway. Also managed to pick up a replacement lens cap and rubber thingy for the viewfinder to replace the ones I lost at Pink Punters. Must pick up some of those little ties that stop you loosing lens caps.

Next thing was an MP3 player, rarely use the things but they are nice to have when you are looking at a long trip, like a holiday perhaps (17 days and counting) , but my old (very cheap and basic) had given up the ghost (what is it with me and hardware?) so found a replacement in HMV. £18 quid for a absolutely tiny 4gb player, its even got a screen unlike the more expensive Apple equivalent. OK it’s not exactly the coolest piece of hardware ever made, but it does the job and doesn’t actually sounds too bad.

Guy (well not really, we are pretty much interchangeable these day, though she has better clothes) shopping done, pictures. Saw The Good, The Bad and The Weird a Korean Western. Unusual film, but I like something different every now and then, overall, not a classic, but it has some good scenes and moments. Big chase scene towards the end goes on for rather to long though. Problem is the level of silliness, its not really a total comedy, but it all gets quite daft at times and the setting isn’t exactly historically correct (pure fantasy?), stuff like this make it hard to maintain suspension of disbelief if the film isn’t totally gripping. Pleasant enough diversion for an afternoon though. Walk home.

Remember I still have a couple of bits of work todo, sort that out, but also try new battery in camera. CLS, did trigger, but only occasionally, but its not a fix will either have to use my SB800, or send the camera back to Nikon Am investigating alternative ways to use the SB800 as a master off camera with a cable or a radio trigger. Water is now working though.

It’s getting late and I’m exhausted. Get a proper sleep.

Don’t get up till late Sunday morning. Still have water, Wahey, can be girl again. Outfits a little braver, skirt, size 12 still fits thank gwad (though it is a Primark size 12, everyone else’s 14) but leggings under it for warmth and modesty.

Sun was shining and CLS was still wonky, so that’s a natural light pic.

Pleasant walk in the sun and its time for lunch, the Library (bar in Islington I mentioned before) is serving food this time and have a veggie Sunday roast on offer. Not a trad Sunday lunch, but a very tasty one, enjoyed. Coffee and a little light shopping for the rest of the day was the plan.

Bloke shouts “Awight Mate” as I pass in a smart aleck tone of voice. Git. Still I haven’t had much stick recently and the man in Starbucks calls me Madam 2 minutes later, I’ll live.

Spot bag in NewLook, Tan, with pockets, long strap, not perfect, not quite big enough and not the perfect colour, but it is the nearest thing I’ve found to what I want, will do, get it. Then 20 minutes later spot similar, but nicer and cheaper bag in Peacocks, oh well, get that too. Didn’t need two, but I suppose it will be useful to have a backup, I seem to be able to wear out these cheep bags in no time. Loop back around to the flat, only been out for a couple of hours but its enough, and its got cold anyway.

Sort pictures out and have an early night. Well try to.

Hopefully that’s the madness over with, for a few months anyway and it looks like my boss will let me have some time in lue to make up for it And next week is Corset and Diamonds week after that it’s the Angels Meal week after that MY HOLIDAY :):):):) I’ve done my penance (mostly) and things are looking up again.

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Stupid week at work and its getting worse. Only good thing is I’m managing to run more, over 15 miles I think, though Thursday night I went and blew all the good work on chips and rubbish junk food

Friday and I’m at home, had arranged to work from home. Work was relative, I really didn’t do much, didn’t feel bad about it as I’m having to make it up later, and I had more interesting things to do anyway, one night of Helena party time before another week of work madness.

It was going to be a Helena night, and a dressy up club night at that, (it’s that “StripLite” club I’d been going on about), so started getting ready around lunch time with a bath and complete defuzz. Plan for the night was to wear that Russian outfit I wore a couple of weeks ago for a photoshoot as I though it would suit the theme for the night which was “Dictators I have Loved”, I’m Stalin see, albeit in his little know early PVC and fishnet tranny period But that top is very low at the front.

Boobs, like them, don’t have them and this top really needs them. So here was the plan, use the boob glue I got last week to attach the bosom friends to my chest, then use makeup on them and my chest to match the colour and hide the join a little, so they look natural, ish under the fishnet top I was going to wear as well.

That was the plan, good in theory, but really something I should of tried it all out before hand. Doesn’t go well, boobs won’t hold, try twice to glue on but it doesn’t work, they wont hold, dunno if it’s the technique, the boobs themselves or my skin or what but they are not secure. 2nd attempt with a lot of glue just ends up with a lot of glue every where Give up on the glue.

Then there’s the makeup. Here’s a hint Este Lauder Double Wear Liquid Foundation doesn’t work very well on Bosom friends, in fact it just makes a mess (though the liquid type foundation would be better, I was wrong). Also I find no foundation will stick to the glue residue, which I’d got on the top of the forms.

Reboot time, couple of hours lost, clean the forms as best as I can with the glue remover, wow you have to be fast with that, you have to spray it on, rub and wash off the gunk immediately under a running warm tap immediately or it just makes more mess.

Well that was a learning experience, don’t try to do a prosthetic chest on the quick and the cheap. Should of remembered old IT proverb,

“Good, Fast, Cheap Pick Two”.

Well everything is cleaned up now, inc me. Find MAC full coverage does works well on clean Bosom Friends is dabbed on with a sponge and Studio Fix powder can set it. Do the same on my chest and we have a colour match.

Dress, bustier top, fishnet undershirt and the forms tackiness holds them in well enough without glue, and there is a reasonable colour match. A combination of fishnet and poor light (it had got dark by now) mostly hides the join. It will have to do. Will have to go back to the drawing board about getting a more realistic cleavage, for me, I don’t think hormones and surgery is the answer.

Change into the rest of the clothes and do makeup, makeup works OK, at least something works and I don’t look too hideous.

Well time has flown, have a little time for a chill out, glass of wine or two (had a couple at lunch as well) and a few snacks.

That was dinner. That outfit was straining around the middle (need to run more) and I didn’t want a big meal. Plus that would mess up my lipgloss No time really for the traditional photo shoot, but I’d already shot that outfit anyway. Time to go, on with a top to cover up the bustier, big coat, put hats, crop and boots and stuff in a rucksack and out we go.

The club is actually being held in a pub in the City opposite Canon street I located last week, there’s a bus that goes from nearby that will take me very close to it. But it’s a 15 minute walk to nearby, in the cold and in heels, sod that, get another bus to that stop. Cept it stops early and I have to walk some of the way anyway. So here we are, and when’s the next bus for Bank, 19 minutes, a life time and those bus indicator thingys are always optimistic anyway. But there’s a bus to Angel in 2 minutes, jump that and tube to Bank instead, bit of a palaver but I’m here. And even though I’ve I’m a leather trench coat, heeled leather boots, fishnets and heavy makeup nobody seems to notice, Londoners can be so nonchalant sometimes.

Walk to the pub and descend into the cellar bar. It’s a fiver to get in, there’s no cloak room, but pub’s kitchen is doubling as a changing room and we are free to leave out stuff in that. Take off my coat, put on hat, stuff the crop into my boots and here we go.

The pub is smaller than I thought it would be and is decorated in a sort of mad scientist/gothic/spooky type way, but the effect is really a bit cheesy, been to a similar place (thinks its part of the same chain the Eerie Pub Company or something ) just of Oxford street. Its quite busy, but not packed. Though a fair percentage of the people don’t look like they are here for Striplite, those are easy to tell, the corsets, bright red hair, uniforms and heavy makeup are all a bit of a give away, no these people are muggles, one is even propping up the bar in a tracksuit and trainers, the horror, the horror. I guess it’s a regular pub up to 9 with an after work crowd, and the punters can’t just be kicked out cause there is a club night on. Doesn’t seem to phase though, even in a micro skirt and low cut top I feel confident enough, perhaps the bit of preloading I did with wine has give me some Dutch courage.

Get a pint of beer (just felt like it) and a straw (Lip gloss again and retire to a booth in the corner to wait. Had arranged to meat 3 other t-girls here, but so far it looked like I was the only one in the place. But I’d had a text from Jane earlier saying she didn’t feel up to it and wasn’t coming. I know you are having a tough time at the mo hun, hang in there. Actually feel a little bad about coming, perhaps I should of gone to see Jane instead :(. Also this really doesn’t look like her sort of night, it’s more than a bit fetishy and I don’t think that’s really her scene. The others where Louise and Alison, and they ain’t here either. Oh.well, sure they will be along. Slurp my beer and watch the very old soviet propaganda cartoons warning of the dangers of capitalism they have running on the screens.

Something isn’t right, ah, yes I’ve forgotten my gloves, dam, go back to the kitchen to get them, chat with a young man with great makeup in there, he compliments me on my outfit and says it reminds him of character in the game “Red Alert”. I’m flattered. Find later the young man is in fact the nights host and compare, Nathan Strange?

I slink back to the booth with my gloves, tis a bit lonely and the entertainment hasn’t started yet, but the place is filling up, and hey there’s Louise. We greet and try to chat, but its hard, the music is quite loud, we move table to somewhere a little quieter, but really its not much better. Louise had been to StripLite’s sister club, Festival of Sins before, but it was the first time here for the both of us. I think she was feeling a little shy or out of place, she had a fairly outrageous PVC outfit on, but few others where dressed like that (and there where the vanilla folk too) , don’t think she liked the german uniforms either.

The entertainment comes on, there’s a couple of short films first, ones a little dark tale about a door to door sales person, the other is a spoof trailer for a sexpoltation movie, both quite amusing. After those is a singer, Frank Sanazi, the Louge Ubermeister, a cross between Frank Sinatra and Adolf Hitler, his songs are old club standards rewritten for the Third Reich. Funny, yes, and he is a good singer, but it’s a tad uncomfortable, even though it is all a definite piss take, there are some things I’m not sure I should be laughing at..

By now I’ out and about on the floor, mostly just asking people if I can take their photo’s. Eveyone is happy to oblige and there are some interesting characters, and some very pretty girls. Had another glass of wine by now and maybe slightly happy.

Special mention must go to the ladies loo. Its hidden behind secret door disguised as a book case, rather fun and fits in the pub’s theme nicely. Nobody seemed to care a bout a fairly obvious tranny using it. Either. Took a pic of the door, well tried to, a group of cute girls got in the way, oh dam, they got in the shot

Yeah I said fairly obvious tranny, we I guess that’s what I was for the night, tranny/drag queen all over made up and under dressed. Guess that’s what I am, sometimes I can almost get away with “woman”, from a distance, in poor light and even sort of feel like one, well feel “real” anyway, but its tranny to anyone who gets a good look and how I often feel Was even quizzed about my boobs by one of the “normal” folk, the bloke wanted to know what they where made of and how much they cost. A secret HPW perhaps?

Next act is a burlesque one, Chrys Colubine performed as Jessica Rabbit, you know from Who Framed Rodger Rabbit. It’s a good performance even in the limited space she had and she is a pretty young slim young thing, but it is a fairly regular fan dance, and she er doesn’t quite have the curves for a true Jessica “I’m not a bad girl I’m just drawn that way” Rabbit. Oh I’m nit picking, sorry, was a good show. Pics where a little hard to get as I wasn’t at the front and had to reach over someone to take the shots.

She seemed a little shy too, after here final reveal she was off, never to be seen again, and earlier in the night she was mostly hiding behind her fans.

Frank does a 2nd turn after this, and cup cakes are distributed. The famous cake, nice they are to, though not many are there, perhaps I should bake next time? Hrm mine aren’t so nice, better not.

After that its dancing and drinking, chatting a little and talking more photo’s, a couple of people even take mine. Alison Essex had turned up by now, in a very bold rubber dress she wore well.

Must of hard the 3rd glass by now, was ready to start dancing, music was good, technoy electroy stuff you can dance too, no cheese.

Even sort of dance with people, male and female even, there’s one girl in red who dances very close, we touch, eyes pretty much locked together. It’s very nice, sexy even, but also slightly scary, she has a very intense look to her, I break off after a couple of tracks, shy and clueless nerd mode kicks in even after all that wine and beer. Do find the courage to go and have a 2nd dance with her later though. Didn’t find out her name :(. And she dances like that with everyone else too anyway, it was just a moment. Well it was a nice moment and it’s the nearest I ever get to, well you know what.

Its about Half one when I call it a night, its been a good one, but I’m tired, was up early with work and what not. Say my good byes, pack my hat ant stuff up, coat on and off. There’s a McDonalds on the way to the bus stop that’s still open, get some chips.Bus stop, the bus to take me home should be very 15 minutes, 24 hours according to the time table. I wait.

And wait, and wait, and wait, seems like a life time. Other buses pass, and plenty of cabs with their light on, even the bus I want, but it’s out of service. Had enough waiting after a while and hailed a passing black cab to take me back to Highbury.

Cheaper than I thought it would be, but not cheap, and the driver calls me mate

Stopped early at Highbury corner, cause well that portion of chips at McD was only a small one and was still hungry, so drop into a local chicken shop for more Eat, walk home, clean up and eventually crash around three thirty.

I liked StripLite, alternative, accepting, arty, creative, fetishy (but not in the dungeon/BDSM/heavy sense, the whips where just for show (inc mine)) and fun. Not sure Louise was that impressed though. Will have to try and go again, can’t make the next one in Feb, but March is possible.

Saturday, but it felt like Sunday, had a lie in, didn’t dress, not the energy and had things to do, sort out the photo’s, did the laundry, watched a DVD (Women on the verge of a nervous Breakdown), ate Pizza, noodled. Not a Saturday really, definitely a Sunday, regardless of what the calendar says.

It was even more Sunday, cause on the real Sunday I’m up at 5:15 to start jobs remotely and have to go into work afters, Bah!, the madness I was talking about, to many things to do. Just like a Monday really I suppose. Cept longer, work by 9am, don’t leave till gone 9pm. Long day, mostly waiting around for things to happen and eating junk, the company laid on food, so I had to

Walked back to the station in the fresh snow, its was cold and I could of got a Taxi, but dunno I just like walking in the snow. When I got home gone 11, I put my bag down, got my camera and went back out to take photo’s in the local park (Pic along later) Actually the park was a little magical in the odd light and falling snow, very pretty, and there where people out still out at nearly midnight, having snowball fights, taking photo’s (I wasn’t the only one), making snow angels or just walking hand in hand. But its going to be transport chaos on Monday morning, going to work from home I think.

Most of next week will just be a lots of work, might be able to get out on Saturday, perhaps. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, finally booked my Snowboarding, off to Austria in the first week of March, just had my first taste of snow this year and now I really need the mountains, bring it on!