Started running more during in the week, surprised I could, only a slow jog, and not much more than 2 miles at a go, but must of totalled over 12 miles. Will try to keep it up, need try and get some strength for boarding and some fat round the middle burnt off.

Popped into Primark mid week, actually to pick up some tracksuit bottoms to run in, but got some girl denim shorts as well, was thinking about wearing some at the weekend with leggings or thick tights. So when I read the fashion pages in the London Paper (or was it Lite) on the train home all about shorts being in this winter, it raised a smile, definitely wearing them now

Saturday, social and shopping, so up before the larks, lots to do (or so I thought). Defuzz easily for a change and the face is surprisingly not yuk, which is nice, makeup goes on easily too, as do shorts, two pairs of tights (it’s still January) grey sweater (that didn’t work so well) and red jacket, hat scarf, gloves etc. Bit of a miss mash, but find that sort of helps blend, its like urban camo, it disrupts your silhouette. I’ve said all that before haven’t I. Quick pic with just a flash on camera..

Looks a bit flat really with just 1 light.

Get out by 10 something and it’s on the tube north to Walthamstow. Doreen’s for breast form glue first, also remember to get the remover and pick up a lacy top as well. Not cheap is it that glue, hope it works, it looks all very medical.

Wander back up to Walthamstow shopping centre, appear to be getting a few double takes, but not much more. Haven’t had any stick during the last few trips out, must be due for some soon.

Not a serious shop in Walthamstow, well it wasn’t planned to be, but did want to visit New Look and Boots. End up with a sweater dress from Apple Snow, over sized print Tee (Has words “Look, but don’t touch” on it, ideal for the Tranny clubs ) from New Look, leg warmers to match the tee off the market, and various bits of makeup, cleansers and some new cuticle scissors from Boots and Superdrug. Can’t find blue lip liner, but they have blue eyeliner, is it OK to use that on lips anyway? It’s all skin and eyes are more sensitive?

Hear a man exclaiming “Your Gorgeous” behind me in Superdrug. Don’t hang around to see if it was (unlikely I know) aimed at me.

Well that’s everything I wanted, and still plenty of time back over to the station. Get the overland train into Liverpool Street, buy a ticket as wasn’t sure if Oyster worked on that line. Little wait before the train, so take a picture.

Train arrives on time! Well it isn’t London Midland. Plenty of room, well there is until a couple of rough looking blokes in hoodies and baseball caps get on at the next stop and plonk themselves in the next block of seats to me, one facing me and the other next to two young GG’s. They didn’t have to do that, there was plenty of space. They do give me and the GG’s a few looks, but mostly have a slightly slurred conversation about money and they get off before Liverpool Street, relief.

Next stop is London Stone, the location for that Striplight club on Friday, wanted to just make sure I knew where it was before hand (as I always do, one of these I will just go somewhere off the cuff). Wander through the mostly deserted city, it’s normally quiet at the weekend, but dunno seemed even more deserted than usual. Find a few spots for photo’s on the way.

Pass Bank, down the street and round the corner, ah there’s Canon Street Station, and there’s the place opposite. Easy. What’s it like inside, dunno, it’s closed. It’s lunch time by now and I’m hungry, but All Bar one next to it is also closed, in fact every place down the street is closed for the weekend. Except McDonald’s, which appears to be doing a roaring trade. Don’t fancy that though.

Ah there’s a bus that will take me back to Islington, I can get lunch there, run for it (in two inch heels :)), but it doesn’t stop at the next stop, dam But two minutes another turns up, empty, hey seat on the top deck at the front for me

Photo opp at Old Street roundabout, sun glinting off a building looks cool, but the blue tint at the top of the buses widow makes the sky go all a bit freaky. Think its one of my best photo’s ever.

Turn the camera on me to, the light works and it’s a nice version of the oft taken “me on a bus” shot.

Left it full res and didn’t retouch (OK a couple of spots went), every pore and wrinkle is visible, so I guess it’s a more honest photo than usual.

There’s some gas pipe works and detours but we get to Islington eventually. Try the Library (it’s a bar) but they are not serving food till 5, hey but the sign outside said, but then again there’s no menus out and no one is eating, so I guess its not just me. Down the street and round the corner to Public House.

Little place that takes its eccentricity a touch to far if you ask me (They bid me Good Morning as I enter, its 2, but they explain after its morning in Mexico), but it has its charm. I’m the only customer initially, another turns up later, but I think it gets busier in the evening. Glass of wine and scrambled eggs goes down easily, though the Riesling they recommended (well had open) is a touch acidic for my taste.

So that’s shopping, recon and lunch done and its not even 3, what to do with the rest of the day? It normally doesn’t all happen so easily. Wander around a couple of shops and end up in Starbucks with a skinny cappuccino and a chapter of my book (another Torchwood one).

Back home after my coffee, its a bit cold anyway. Hell that was easy, everything pretty much worked out fine. I must be due some grief by now.

Noodle around a bit then change into the evening outfit, remove one layer of tights, different boots, swap short for a tiny skirt, that new New Look top, and a vest under it, accessorised with pink Yeah dressing like a 15 year old the from 1980’s again, oh well, it’s a tranny night, so I can live a little and dress silly. Paint nails pink.

Another one flash pic. Drop big camera while I’m at it panic, but it seems to work afterwards. Pack everything up in a big bag, put on a big coat and head out just before six.

Tube to Kings cross and off to Papillion. It looked like a group from Roses was going down, so it might not be so lonely, and they where eating in the Restaurant up stairs, so I said I would join them.

Find a group at the bar, we sit and chat and wait for the others to turn up, I’d met Christina, Dawn  and Tara before, but it was nice to meet Jules , Dawn, Petrina, Clare, Vicky, Emma, Sarah and Becky (I think). Do get a little confused over hugging and air kissing etiquette though. Takes a while for people to turn up, we move upstairs to the restaurant, looks like we have it to ourselves and after another drink and more chin wagging before we eat. Do manage a little chin wagging myself, a few glasses of wine helped as did the company, though I do look a little silly in my daft outfit.

Foods good, a notch above the standard pup/bar fare, and a reasonable veggie selection, had a Stilton and spinach tart (well I had to in that skirt:)) with new potatoes. I’ll eat there again.

After dinner we move down to the club. A few more have turned up, but its not like we are packing the place out and nobodies dancing. Talking is harder in the club, to loud, having to stand, flashing lights, different people, doesn’t seem to work for me. Try taking a few pics too, lasers come out OK, but the smoke and dark don’t help me getting good pics of the people, though the long exposure rear flash one of Tara is quite psychedelic.

It’s a struggle by now, been since 5:45 too and all that camera gear seems to be weighing me down, so I duck out at about 10, me lightweight. Thought about going to the Way-Out, for a dance, but no, too tired, tube home, only stopping at the 24 hour shop for sweats.

For me Papillion as a club isn’t working, sorry Christina, Tara, Debbie et all, not enough people, no one dancing, no atmosphere. But the drink, chat and meal was much nicer, far more pleasurable. Perhaps this is where the much missed Trans-Mission club got it right, lots of seating area with music volume low enough to talk and just a small dance floor for those who wanted it. Perhaps if I go again to Papillion I’ll just go for a drink and a meal, as a social, PP is better for a banging club night

Lazy Sunday, should of done some chores, but didn’t. Didn’t do much really. Apart from eat andrink to much, undoing all the work I did running

Back to work today, and work for the next to weeks is going to be stressful and long Perhaps this is the grief I’m due.

But there are things to look forward to, Striplight on Friday, Corsets and Diamonds on the 14th and I’ve finally booked Snowboarding, first week in March I’m'off to Austria, YEY!!! Rock me Amadeus (again).

Another week on call, Oh joy, decided to stay in, save some cash for the snowboarding holiday and have a dressing up sessions with some of my latest outfits. Late night socials where out of the question anyway. I said save cash, some slightly frantic shopping sessions where had to be done before hand to finalise the outfits though, so more money spent on non essentials that may only be used once, what am I like.

Saturday then slow start getting changed, but well wasn’t in a huge rush. Chest hair had to go, but shaving it always results in a days of spots and yuk afterwards (why do you think I wear polo necks so often), thinking I might actually get to go out in one of these outfits in a couple of weeks decide just to use clippers and gave my chest a No 1. Doesn’t completely remove it all, but the hair is fine and especially under a sheer or net top you can’t really see it. Would do I guess, but it will grow back without the nastiness. Again I have moved in to the realm of to much information haven’t I.

First outfit was “The Leather Goddess of Phobos”, got the name from an old Infocom Text adventure game “The Leather Goddesses Of Phobos” from the 8 bit years, quite notorious in its day for its “Suggestive” content option, but its really just a funny/naughty take on 30’s & 40’s s Sci Fi b movies, comics and film serials like Flash Gordon and Buck Rodgers. Though I have played some Infocom games in my time, I actually missed this one. But I liked the name and though I could put together something that fitted the theme as I already had that leather corset, boots, gloves etc, so gave it a go. Plus Phobos being a moon of Mars sort of links it back to the Girl From Mars theme, I like little connections like that.

Original plan was to wear a leather(ish) mini as bottoms, but decided leather pants (pants in the UK sense not the American ) could work if I could find the right pair. After a few not rights, Ann Summers branch on Oxford street provided a leatherette bra and briefs set, on sale for £2, yes £2! But they weren’t perfect, the only size available was 18-20, they had buckles so I could adjust but they where still to big really and I wasn’t sold on the metal detailing on the edge. But at that price, can’t complain.

Also needed to accessorise, what every self respecting Leather Goddess from Phobos needs is an atomic space ray gun to disintegrate her puny foes. Wanted something really retro looking, in silver or chrome, but most toy ray guns I could find looked to modern looking (It appears the really old ones are collectors items these days and go for big money), but I did eventually find this water pistol in Hamleys, wrong colour, but I have paint and it looked retro enough. Another sale bargain, £2.45. Used silver and black spray paint in my trusty recycling bin spay booth to get a better colour. Ended up as “It will do”, some further customisation, longer barrel with a flared muzzle and better paint detailing would be better, another day perhaps. Making my own props from cheap stuff is part of the fun of these shoots.

On with outfit, sheer body got off Ebay on the top, had laddered it already, bah, can’t do anything about that now, Honour leather corset, those big leather pants (with some small pants underneath to keep everything in), 30 denier black tights got from Westfield the previous week(they are back seemed, didn’t realise that when I bough them), my thigh boots, Ann Summers leather collar and the long Honour gloves. Yeah, like it, those pants keep needing hitching up though. Makeup heavy, lots of eyeliner and pink glitter shadow, bold brows and cheeks, dark glittery red lippy and to finish off one of my older blonde wigs I rediscovered. It’s a bit “Big Hair” for normal use, but it worked for this one. Boobs where the bosom friends, held on by their tackiness, the top and corset. Under the sheer top they where not totally unrealistic and the join was still visible, a bit of make up on them could of helped though.

Didn’t trust the popup flash on the camera to trigger the remote flashes, still haven’t found why this has stopped working, so use the SB800 on camera as a trigger and a fill light (diffused with a dome), and the SB600s bounced off brollies left and right for the main illumination, one with a red gel (well acetate actually, though found this site that sells gels for flash guns, must to put in a order) and on some shots, a green on the other. Hrmm perhaps I can get a cable so I can use the SB800 off camera but still use it as a controller for the 600’s, better do some research.

It’s quite fun to shoot, and the flashes recycled fast allowing a me to get a lot of shots in, though quite a number had to be discarded, the corset did no favours to flabby flesh around my underarms sometimes it folded and looked nasty, sorry. Also the boobs rode up a bit, exposing (false) nipples, not what I wanted for this shoot, shopped them out if they showed.

Overall, pretty good I think. Things to improve are, better fitting pants, better boob attachment, better ray gun, tighter gloves, better body, better face, better everything really a sort of cavern’s of Phobos back drop would work too, real or virtual, instead of the sheet. Noticed afterwards some of the later photo’s where soft, focus was slightly off, hrrrm why did that happen? on the plus side I really like this Corset though, it fits really well and gives even me a great figure, appears well made, and even though I can do it right up, it’s actual quite comfortable. Need to find a night out I can wear it to, return to Rub?

Next outfit, well I had done Leather Goddess of Phobos, so staying on the Sci-fi tip, I did girl from Mars. Outfit I had, the silver Lycra cat suit, the chrome ray gun and leatherette under bust clincher I got before Xmas. The silver cat suit look is a Sci Fi classic Problem with the catsuit, though I can get in it, my over long body stretched it too much and a seem under the crotch rode up, so er OK I won’t go into nasty details, you have enough of those, it didn’t look good, or feminine what ever I did. But a trip to New Look during the sorted this. Those shinny leggings that where so right now are now so yesterday and are on sale (£7) and they have silver ones, that where an exact match to the catsuit (made from the same material I think). So I sighed and took some scissors to the catsuit, cutting off the bottoms and just wore the catsuit top and the leggings, using the corset to hide the join. A leatherette thong from Harmony gave a bit more form in that area, though it could of done with being high waisted.

Re-did makeup, still heavy, but with sparkly blue eye shadow and lippy. That blue lippy is rather fun, was surprised how much I liked it. Eye shadow could of done with being darker electric blue to match and I didn’t have a blue lip pencil either, made do with purple. Might have to go makeup shopping to get matching liner and shadow, it’s a cool look. Used extra large boobs and hair was a little black bob wig I got from a joke shop before Xmas.

Gelled the lights orange (for a Martian look) and took the loads of pictures. And didn’t like any of them. The hair was just wrong, as I’ve realised before I need more of a face frame and it didn’t provide it, was too short. The other was the clincher I had it done up the back, and it wouldn’t stay laced up, I couldn’t get it tight enough and tie a good knot behind my back, so the laces kept slipping. I guess since it’s not really a tight lacer it isn’t really designed for the sort of pressure you can get with a proper corset.

Slightly dejected, planning to try and make do with the pictures, I went back to my bedroom. As I was taking the corset off I had an idea, turn it around, this was I could get a better pull on the laces and tie them off in a reef knot. That worked, it stayed put, the laces weren’t quite the Sci Fi look I wanted (clean and retro futuristic) but it gave me a better figure. Also I changed wig to a black shoulder length one, last used for Rub, a little work with the scissors to improve the fringe I had cut into it and that’s better, much better. Back to the kitchen for more pictures

Photoshopped in a Martian landscape into one of the pics for effect. Better than before, focus is still soft though, Doh! Having the outfit as a two piece isn’t great, leggings kept needing pulling up and those pants really should be high waist or attached to the corset. Boots not perfect either, and I couldn’t get the camera to expose the lights in the ray gun (it lights up and makes noises yuo see). I think I’m really going to have to get a made to measure catsuit one day, probably latex, I do like them. Really should get a proper tight lacing leather under bust as well (another one of these one of these day things), but I can make the clincher work now and have another outfit idea for it, laces need replacing though, they are fraying with all the tension I put them under.

3rd outfit is the one I got a couple of weeks ago in Camden. It’s a Communist themed bodice and mini skirt by Lip Service. I added a fishnet top and tights top cover my nasty skin, bosom friends to fill the cups, my old faithful Next leather boots, long leather gloves from Primark, a studded collar and top it off with a genuine Red Army Officers cap (got from an Army surplus place in Camden). To finish the Russian Dom look I found my ridding crop. whip crack away Hat was too small for my fat head though and the shop didn’t have any bigger ones, so I cut slit in the back of its band so I could ram it down on my head further.

Makeup still heavy, but use more red and purple eye shadow and MAC Russian Red (what else) lipstick, with some gloss. Hair was my normal one.

Red gel on one light (again what else could I use :)) and its shoot away

These worked well (Focus still soft though, grrr) and where fun to do, snapping the crop around light was quite flattering to, though that bodice just proves how tubby I have become, its very hard to get on Perhaps I could of shopped in an old Soviet propaganda poster or something as a backdrop?

The fishnet covered the forms quite well, but I figure gluing them on (Note to self :Need to go glue boob glue shopping next week, ah my shopping lists, as surreal as ever) and using some foundation and powder I can make them look more natural, well quite natural, in poor light, under a fishnet top, from a distance, after a few drinks, perhaps anyway.

Since I think the outfit works and its even reasonably comfortable, I going to wear it again, out. There’s that Striplight club at the end of Jan I mentioned before and this is what I plan to wear to it, should I take the ridding crop to? If I can go that is, my there maybe something at work, a project go live that could scupper any plans I have for a few weekends Will just have to see how it goes.

Its dark by now, do I want to do another outfit, had made rough plans to redo my lady Marmalade Burlesque look, sans skirt, but hadn’t prepared it really. Decided to leave that for another day, was tired and photo’ed out by now, change into something a bit more normal, a black polo neck and a mini and made dinner.

Back to normal, sorting photo’s out, drinking wine, playing more Mass Effect, wandering around web sites etc for the rest of the night. Hadn’t been outside or spoken to anyone all day though.

Sunday, laundry, Mass Effect and work past midnight Monday I overslept.

Next week I might be able to get back into the social scene, it looks like there is a crowd from Roses going down Papillion on Saturday night, hope to be able to join them.

Odd sort week, usual work stuff, two steps forward, two steps back, but then the journeys proved slightly less usual (but not by much), like the car crash, not involving me though. Just walking along and hear the screech and a crump behind me. Turn and see two cars hit head on, low speed collision, no one hurt but a lot of shouting going on, leave them to it. How exactly they hit each other at that point is some what of a mystery.

Also spot an urban fox, twice actually, around the canal, it doesn’t look afraid, it’s a very urban fox, it just sort of glares at me as it passes with a “wot u lookin at” expression.

Surfing around I find Honour have a new warehouse, OK a new warehouse isn’ta biggy, but the surprise is where, wow that’s close to where I work, In fact I virtually pass it on my journey in. Their warehouse is on a little commercial estate in Watford and there is a public show room attached to it. I had to have a look didn’t I. It’s a only small showroom, not much in it, but they have all the stock out back and can go and fetch anything they have. Bought a leather overbust corset, good value for real leather, steel boned proper tight lacer. Nice girl in the shop is helpful and offers to lace it for me, I decline, was in a hurry. Should of taken here up on the offer, it takes me 3 attempts and half an hour to get it laced right when I get home.

Ran to work one day, well to Kings Cross anyway, it was so cold I started running, and didn’t stop. Must of ran 2 miles, at a slow plodding pace minds’t , but still didn’t think I could run that far. Must do it more often.

Wore tights to work on day. Not cause of some TV fetish thingy, I don’t really do the wearing feminine undergarments under my male clothes thing, that doesn’t do anything for me. But its was as cold, it was just to keep warm. Honest.

Yeah not really that interesting was it, but well little things like those can break the routine up a bit.

So Saturday is Helena day, up change and er what next? Face has flared up and is yucky, add to that I cut myself shaving, its not nice, cover it up the best I can with concealer and powder, but coverups like that don’t tend to last. Clothes, cream sweater with a another polo under it, denim mini with thick grey ribbed tights, black coat, brown short boots, hope it will be warm enough, add cream hat, gloves and legwarmers to help. It’s not over coordinated, but that’s good I find, I like highly coordinated outfits with splashes of bold colour, but they stand out a mile, and very few GG’s dress like that for Saturday afternoon down the shops. A more casual, slightly mismatching outfit in neutral colours blends better, its sort of urban camouflage. Skirt sits high, too high perhaps, weight gain again more on this later.

New Bosom Friend forms arrived in the week, Saturday was their first road test. That famous marshmallow smell they have is very much in evidence, so much so I’m keeping them in ziplock bags when not in use. They are firmer than the silicone forms and have less bounce, but they are still quite soft and some how have a slightly better “part of me” feel than the silicone ones, don’t ask me how. The matt finish on them is nicer than the shinny one on the silicones as well. Its been noted the sizes they come in are a tad optimistic, and the ones I got that where listed as a C cup fit quite nicely into my B cup bras.

Right ready to go, not sure where though, no plans, no idea, no socials, just have to make it up as I go along. Whilst getting ready I dig out my big brown bag that matches the boots. Oh yeah I broke the zip on the outside pocket (where I out my purse) of that bag when I used it last clumsy oaf. Can’t really use it now. It’s a nice bag, in some respects, though the lack of a zip to close the top unsettles me, doesn’t feel secure, even less now with a broken pocket. Well then we have a mission, get a new bag, it has to be large, tan, have a long strap so it can be worn over the body and an outside pockets. Has to be over the body, bags feel so much more secure than way, no one can snatch it and if you are negotiating the stairs on a moving bus with two shopping bags in heels (this happens about once a week in my life) you simply don’t have a spare hand to hold a handbag.

Out we go, colddddd, bus stop is nearer than the tube, so get bus to West End. Notice several GG wearing skirts whilst I;m on the bus, so I;m not the only nutter and some are even wearing thinner tights, brave or what.

Get to town Hit a few shops, but there’s nowt, pass Zaavi, they are closing down aren’t they, victim of the credit crunch and Woolies folding, but their Oxford street store is still open, worth a look for bargains? Was, definitely, find a copy of Mass Effect for PC for a fiver, result. I like Bioware’s stuff, esp Knights of the Old Republic, so this should be good, though I had heard the DRM on it is pretty draconian. Plenty of DVD’s on offer as well so get a couple. Get it while it lasts, thinking about it any business that mostly sells digital content on physical media that could be downloaded instead isn’t a good long term proposition these days.

After that little find, it’s back to bag shopping down Oxford Street. Cept I can’t find the right one, seems the sort of bag I want isn’t in fashion any more bother, get to Oxford circus bagless and detour down towards Carnaby street. Chugger calls me Miss as I pass, but even that can’t make me want to talk to him.

Not many bag shops down here, but there is something else. A poster of a burlesque forum I lurk in (mostly for fashion and event info) had said there was a shop in Kingly court selling corsets very cheaply, a couple of laps around and I find it Nikita Sabkier. Cute shop, nice stuff if you like corsets and the like, good Juke box too. And yes there’s a sale rail full of proper overbust corsets for around thirty quid, bargain really. But none of them tickle my fancy, so leave empty handed, had already bought one corset this week anyway.

Hungry now, find cosy little pub called the Blue Post nearby for a bit, a glass of wine and a read. Manage to resist the temptation of a side of chips. Barman pours of red instead of white, correct him. Is my Helena voice so quiet that people can’t tell if I said red from white? Nice food anyway and the pub is warming. Like eating in bars and pubs, its informal, relaxing and you can often get a sofa instead of a hard seat, but the menu’s tend to be a bit generic and limited if you ain’t eating meat. Tis Relaxing, could settle down here for the afternoon, no can’t do that, must get on.

So what next, rest of Oxford street looking for a bag? Not sure I want to do that, feel the cold again, hrmm, wouldn’t it be nicer to shop undercover? Yes it would, so jump on the tube to Shepherd’s Bush and Westfield.

Westfield isn’t as busy as it was before Christmas, but it’s not quiet either, but it is warmer. Pass through the Village area, several new shops have opened, but decide Prada is not really the best place to look for a new bag as they are just that a little out of my price range

Criss crossing the shops look at bags and other stuff, do find a pair of tights, but no bags. Hey there’s one of those milkshake places, the ones who will blend milk, ice cream and sweets cake or cholcolate or almost anything else into a shake, get one made with a Wispa bar Oh its nice, too nice, must have half a million calories in it

Have a little moment just standing around on the bit over looking the entrance, watching the people go by, smiling to myself, slurping my milkshake and humming along to the Wham track they are playing on the PA. A little thing, but it made me happyl.

Back to shopping, Next have an almost for the bag, but its not quite right, New Look, no bags, but remember seeing some shiny pewter leggings mid week I liked the look of mid week. But this branch doesn’t have any Hrmm the whole shinny leggings thing seems to be fading, several shops have them on the sale rails, and I only saw the black being worn out and about (and that was rare, saw more on mannequins), the other colours, a fashion to far perhaps. Its like this in fashion, the shops latch on to a trend, then quickly add as many variations as they can, throwing mud at the wall to see what sticks. In this case only the black stuck it seems, and then not for long. Think there’s a rockabilly thing coming along for Spring/Summer 2009.

Pit stop, touch up make up in the loo, Yuk on face is showing a bit, knew makeup doesn’t last on this, cover it up again with powder.

Carry on around the stores, still looking for bags, but other things catch my eye, play with an LX3 in Jessops, get vitamins a some vegi pâté in Holland and Barrat’s (guy serving asks how you eat it, with bread I supposed), try on a cute Jacket in Next (they have really clever mirrors in the Next changing rooms, they are angled so you can get a front and a rear view), find a gorgeous high waist leather pencil in COS, but wince at the price and the tiny waist on the size 14.

As I’m leaving River Island a woman taps me on the shoulder, Yikes jump a little, but she smiles and tells me my skirt is ridding up. OOPPS!, Sorry, red face, Thank her, pull it down and spend the rest of the day trying to make sure it stays down. Glad I had the thick opaque tights on. Sigh, another sign of too much weigh gained.

Last shop checked was Debenhams, nope, no bags, but as I leave woman on a concession stall spots me and does a quick change over to a pink perfume bottle (she had a clear one out as a man passed by) and “Madam, would like to try some”. That always works get my wrist sprayed, actually it smells quite nice, (YSL Elle) and she gives me a little sample bottle of it. Another little girlie moment

Well that’s Westfield done and no bag pop over the road to the other little shopping centre in Shepherds Bush, it’s looking a bit forlorn since Westfield moved in, but it does have a branch of Peacocks (but no Prada). Nope no bags I like in Peacocks either, but as I’m there a girl turns around to look at me holding up two bags and asks which one would suit her better. I point to a black one, because, well it did (IMHO), she was less sure though. Asked for an opinion on fashion, now that’s acceptance Yet another little girlie moment to brighten up the day.

So no bag and no leggings, so well back to Oxford street I guess, jump on the tube, its busy but there’s a seat. But that doesn’t last, give it up to an elderly woman a couple of stops later, she thanks me.

Oxford street, nope no suitable bags in Primark, but New Look opposite have the leggings, ah only in large though and its medium I want carry on up the street, John Lewis have a bag just like the Next one that was nearly right, cept its real leather and 5x the price, doubt the Next one was an original design.

Divert through the Wig Studio in House of Fraser, just for a look really, wig found last week seems to be working well enough (though had forgot to pack a hair brush and it was looking a bit wild by then) so don’t need a replacement, but its a look can’t hurt. Sales girls are very helpful and show me a couple of styles that could work and give me a catalogue.

Nope not even a bag in BHS. So here we are back at Oxford Circus, bag shopping looks like a bust, but those leggings, engage T-GPS, next nearest New Look is er er er ah the Brunswick centre (the other Oxford street branch had a fire and never reopened). That’s not to far, I can walk it. Half way up the Eastern half of Oxford street I realise I can’t, its too cold and dark now and my feet are staring to hurt, bus? Yes, there’s one, jump on.

Quick bus ride to Russell Square and wander over to the shopping centre, girl asks me for directions to the University of London as I passs the tube station, but I didn’t know exactly. Some of the shops are shut now, it’s gone 6 and the ones that are open don’t have the right bag. New Look is open but has few bags and even fewer leggings (

So that’s a shopping failure, almost, did get some tights and Mass Effect cheap I suppose. But I was in a good mood, it was a good day, nobody seemed to take offence at me, in fact acceptance was high and the little girlie moments made it all worthwhile, its cold and dark by now but I’m still smiling.

Dinner time now, eat out? for the sake of the waist line I decide no, pop into Waitrose instead and get healthy low fat veggie curry and some not so healthy wine and snacks. Home, tube? No its got really cold now, bus is less walking, get to stop, bus turns up in two minutes and there a pair of seats left for me, the positive Kama earnt from giving up me seat on the tube in effect I think

Eat healthy curry, drink wine, wine causes me to dance around to 80’s tunes and eat the unhealthy snacks

Sunday was spent mostly in Citadel Space

No photo’s this week, sorry, but the outfit wasn’t special, neither was the locations, not really worth a picture. And the little camera’s battery was flat.

On call next week, Oh Joy, might just stay in, but hey I have all these corsets to wear, dressing up session might be in order, so there should be photos.

Monday, find leggings in Watford New Look, it would be ironic if I found the right bag there too, but I don’t, the quest continues.

Blue, well perhaps a bit more cyan or more sort of Turq. Christmas then, not really that exciting when you are old and single. Managed to get another day off work just before to sort stuff then up to parents on Christmas Eve, Kings Cross was Bedlam, just managed to get on train. Note to self: If you want to travel at Xmas, get ticket before hand.

Christmas was really just sitting around, watching TV, reading, eating, drinking, eating more, drinking more, eating just a bit more and so on. Visits from and too various family members, feel odd at these, the grown ups sit around and talk, mostly about kids, and I sort of spend time with the cats, dogs and/or kids. My number 2 nephew has just learnt to walk and is making the most of it. No exciting presents, did get the toaster I wanted, slight twinge of “I would of liked that” as my Mum opened here present from my Dad, a bottle of Chanel No. 5 (OK it would of been very wierd if I got that from my Dad).

Photo’s, some of family (not for public consumption), some of scenery, some of cats. Mostly cats really.

By Saturday, well that’s enough lazing around and gluttony, back to London. Christmas over for another year. Don’t feel like being Helena that weekend, perhaps I had my fill from the previous one, or but I just felt fat and lazy and watch Battlestar Galactica instead. Gawd this is exciting.

Back to work Monday, didn’t want to, but some things had to be done. Odd going to work in Christmas week, very quiet, lots of stuff closed. Try to get stuff done, but its slow going, its Tuesday lunch before I get to where I needed to be Monday morning looks like I’ll have to work new year. But a chance conversation and a quick clarification, and Oh, I don’t need to rush after all, I can have my holiday practically run out of work on Tuesday afternoon with a huge smile on my face, weeeeeeee, proper time off. Buy (Helena) a jacket in the Next sale on the way home, but it’s a little on the small side.

New years Eve, no plans, was kind of hopping someone would post something on one of the messages boards about going out on New Years Eve in London, but no (I suppose I could of tried harder and suggested it myself….)  so it was going to be a lonely one as usual.

Took my snowboard up to Milton Keynes in the morning, though London Midland trains did there best  to stop me, train starts up, moves 5 metres and stops,  it’s a 20 minute wait before decide they can’t move the train and open the doors to let us out. I don’t like London Midland, I have to suffer them 5 days a week to get to work and they’re very reliably unreliable. And after all that it wasn’t really worth it, big crowds, big queues, unreliable lifts, and they still close off a quarter for tobogganing, bah, why do I bother. Need a real mountain, looks like that will be first of week of March though Buy (Helena) some boots on the way home for consolation.

Back home couldn’t even be bothered staying up till midnight, bed early. That’s me, total excitement. Spent New Years day mostly watching Torchwood and eating and drinking too much. Did manage to get out to the pictures for a bit though, saw The Spirit. Yeah quite fun, though a few people didn’t seem to like it and walked out the cinema. Its based on a actually fairly obscure (In the UK anyway) comic by Will Eisner from the 40’s . I guess Eisner is perhaps best known for “Comics and Sequential Art”, one of the very few books that could be considered standard texts for creating and understanding comic art and story telling (do actually have a copy myself, read it in my fanzine days). Back to the film, very stylised, mostly highly desaturated colour and contrasty (but with a red tie) sort of like Sin City (Frank Miller directed, so understandable), trying to get that old comic look, setting is stylised too, 40’s/50’s style cars, buildings and outfits, but with mobile phones and PC’s, bit odd (and some obtrusive product placement going on as well) most of the set’s where done with CG and green screen. Like Sin City, in a way, but much more light hearted and retro, it’s not really trying to be serious or dark or moody. Samuel L Jackson puts in a good turn as the OTT villain “Octopus” and Eva Mendes, Paz Vega and Scarlett Johansson are delicious as the fem fatales . I liked the film, but I guess it won’t appeal to everyone, don’t go if you want a regular action/superhero pic.

Along the way I made some new years resolutions.

* Loose enough weight to make size 12 comfortable again, so it’s back on the diet. Look into Spin classes at the local Gym or get the bicycle out.
* At least try contacts, daily disposables, not for full time wear, but just for boarding and nights out.
* At least try to get a test laser test patch done, my facial hair is a mess and it’s a mare to remove, but on the other had a growth sort of suits Ian, hrmmm
* Be to be more sociable, online, use Facebook more, comment on others blogs and photos and talk to people and IRL try to make friends and go out with or meet up with groups.
* Go abroad twice, certainly once for boarding, but once a Helena as well, Paris again? Or maybe Amsterdam or perhpas Berlin or maybe even New York
* Get a credit card in Helena’s name
* Explore alternative nightlife, outside the TG scene
* Drink less, especially mid week
* Get another job, but in the current climate this may be hard
* Buy a flat, but the much banded about fall in house prices doesn’t seem to be happening in areas I would like to live in

Some of these will be hard to keep/achieve probably won’t manage many of them.

Back home and checked the Flickr stats, as its pretty much my stream’s 2nd birthday, view on my stream now about 530k views, up 330k from last year, that’s growth and I’m on 1303 peoples contact lists, again some growth and even my list has grown, got a whole 40 on mine now! Dunno how people manage 100’s of contacts. Its also odd what the stats throw up as popular search criteria for my pictures, amongst the expect tgirl, etc ones “old tranny” appears to be supprisingly popular as are “lolipop”, “flashdance” and “Rocket queen” , what are people like.
                           
Still a bit of a game Flickr, people are getting bored of my regular shots and the scenery and architecture never caught on, but show plenty of leg and wear a tarty outfit and the views and comments still flow, as previous set of shots from the Camp have shown. Oh well, I’ll have to force myself to take more of them

Finally manage to break out of the doldrums on Friday, Helena day, shopping day, let’s hit the sales. Most of my clothes feel tight, been porking out haven’t I, end up just wearing mostly black stretchy stuff. it feels cold, wear purple leggings over thick tights with leg warmers just in case. Can’t find one black leg warmer, use other pair, bit sparkly, not quite right. Hair feels stringy and nasty, needs a wash, in fact probably needs replacing, add get new hair to resolutions. Cover it up with a beret, purple, doesn’t match the leggings, should of worn a black one. Finish up with some boots I hadn’t worn out before, heels are a bit high for shopping.

No proper photo’s no time, and the camera is playing up. Well the lights are, the triggering of the remote flashes has become unreliable, it’s been getting dodgier and dodgier and now they won’t trigger at all. I’ve tried replacing all the batteries, resetting the flashes and camera and all sorts, no luck I think the problem lies with the camera’s onboard popup flash as a commander, as using the SB800 Speedlight as a commander instead works fine. Not sure what to do about this, don’t want to have to use the SB800 as a commander as then I can’t use it as a remote. hrrmmm, more research is required.

Back to the plot, so we are back in the saddle, looking a bit silly (no change there), but the boots aren’t to hard work, its not as cold as I thought it was and no one seems to be looking at me much, so far so good, tube to Oxford Circus.

First stop is Top Shop Oxford circus, because well this is girly central (apparently there is a men’s wear department on the top floor, never been), join the grand melee around the sale racks, hrmm a lot of shorts of sale, OK a few brave girls are wearing denim ones even in January, bit shinny silver denim hot pants Top Shop what where you thinking? No wonder there’s loads of them on the sale rails. Don’t find anything I want, but its fun never the less, lifts my spirits and make me feel a lot more Helenaish, this shop always seems to help with that . Not being looked at much or commented on (in a language I understand anyroad) seems to help with that too.

After that crisscross the street, following the sales, find a black jacket in River Island that’s almost too cool, 50% off and they do actually have it in a size I can get into, woot, bought. Next have the next size up for the jacket I bought on Tuesday, swap it, no problems. All is going well; don’t find much more in the sales I want or need (have too many clothes anyway) but its nice just wandering and browsing. Worked up an appetite by now (not hard) so lunch, wander in to Soho looking for somewhere different.

End up at in the busy Hummus Brothers on Wardour Street, which, as you might expect by the name, specialise in Hummus (infact this is pretty much all they serve), big portion with salad and bread for a fiver on the shared table fills me up. Not sure what the man opposite though of me, but he was too polite to mention.

Opposite the little hummus restaurant (café?) is Hammer House.

Always have been curious about that building, was it connected to Hammer films? Wardour Street was always a centre for the UK film industry. Bit of research later proves it was their original office.

After lunch stroll around Soho and towards Covent Garden.

But stop in Forbidden Planet first, get a Torchwood book “Almost Perfect”, got into to it again watching the 2nd series on DVD, this ones got a little cross gender body swapping going on, hrmmm could be interesting.

Continue with the sales through Covent Garden, but well sort of shopped out by now, have to think of the finances (and storage) and my heels are starting to make their presence felt. Do find a spot for a photo though.

Hair is proving a mess, it never stays neat and lots of hairs are falling out, on its last legs really. And that berret is just wrong. Back to Charring Cross Road, stop at the supermarket and bus it home.

Ordinary Helena day really, not particularly exciting, but also not really noticed much, just a (rather tall and badly dressed) face in the crowd. It’s nice to be ordinary sometimes. Finish off Torchwood series 2 in the evening, bit of a sad ending, I liked Toshiko (Yeah spoiler, but everyone else who cares must of seen this by now).

Saturday, clean up and shave, ouch, messy. Then er what, not sure I wanted to do Helena mode, didn’t feel right, plus I had no idea what to do if I did, been shopping, been to the pictures etc have nowhere really to go out to, bored. Also its really cold and my bathroom where I do makeup isn’t heated. Decide in the end I couldn’t be bothered, decide to have a dressing up session in the evening and wear a pair of Helena’s soft boots in Ian mode during the day instead. Instead do washing up, laundry, wash wigs, tidy up, put stuff away, find missing stuff, cooking and general domestic chores, Sunday stuff , the time off and going out on Friday had upset the routine, my body firmly believed it was Sunday anyway.

Did have a dressing up sess in the evening though, it got a bit silly, with corsets and thigh boots and stuff. No photo’s though as wasn’t in makeup and really looked ridiculous, but having a face full of slap isn’t great when you are constant changing clothes ain’t a good idea, it gets everywhere. Did find another blonde wig I hadn’t worn in ages, still not sure I like it but it was in better nick than the main one.

Cooked dinner in whilst wearing those thigh boots and corset, which was a bit surreal and then settled down with a DVD.

Sunday, er its Sunday, Saturday was Sunday, so what is today? Was a bit confused, face felt bad, didn’t want to drag a razor across it again. Still no idea what I wanted to do and had even ran out of domestic chores. Went out in Ian mode just to get something to eat. Hrm not enough cash, stop at machine, Oh, I have more money that I thought I did, enough for something expensive, hrmmm. Hop on train to Camden.

There’s a club night coming up at the end of Jan called Striplight its an alternative Fetishy Burlesquey sort of thing, a couple of T-girls I know might be going and I’ve made noises about possibly going as well (I’m read there is free cake you see). But what to wear? Well I’d spotted some stuff in Camden I liked the look of, but its rather expensive, but what the hell. Get it, details of it will be revealed later, Comrades…  If I can wear it properly, it’s very very tight (and it’s the large size, sob), can just get it on, but if I can loose a kilo or so in the next month, it will be better.

Back home, trying it on, dam my silicone boob forms are leaking a little, repair with tape, try another pair, dam they are leaking a bit too! Repair them as well, both pairs are still useable (and I have a 3rd pair), but I guess they are on there way out, like the wig. Order some new ones, Bosom Friends worth a try I thought, many recommend them (but not everyone) and they are reasonably priced.

While putting stuff away I come across a bag, hey it’s my old main wig, same model as the current one, I replaced it when it was wearing out. But it doesn’t look that worn, in fact it looks pretty good, better than the main one, did I get the two mixed up sometime? Might not have to get a new one for a while after all.

Monday, cold, snowy, grey, trains delayed, boring work. Back to the usual routine.