Managed to snaffle Friday off work, negotiations to be able to use all my holiday days over Christmas are on going, but will have a few days off. Anyway back to Friday, just been paid, have a full day to myself, shopping, xmas shopping was mostly done, so me shopping instead

Don;t manage to get changed particularly quickly, makeups a bit heavy, and the outfit, oh dear, all black, leather(ish) jeans, boots, long polo neck, furry (synthetic of course) coat, hat. Its all a bit OTT, sort of going for the over pampered look bond street look, but it probably ended up looking like a very camp bloke. Should of tamed it down a tad, swap the leather boots for furry ones or worn denim jeans instead of plastic ones or something and definitely used less lip liner. Also wore the bigger boobs, but on relfection this didn’t suit the look and caused problems later.

Ok that Pic was taken after I got back, but it’s the same outfit I wore out, honest. No proper pic before, as I said running late and wanted to make most use of the day light. Did manage to snap a quick snap in the hallway though.

Tube to Marble Arch, nobodies looking at me, much, I think, perhaps they are trying to avoid me. Sun is shinning and its warm, feeling a bit over dressed actually, esp in those jeans. Still its the west end, sales are on, and lets shop

Plan for shopping was to hit the West End for a bit, to get some clothes, was going out at the weekend and needed one or two bits more for an outfit I had in mind in black and gold, get lunch, go to Forbidden Planet for books and then move on to Camden for some dressing up stuff.

Evans first, want gold bangles, ooh 20% off today, and yes gold (and black) bangles that actually fit (Evans do bangles in large), result. Check out the shoes and boots, on sale, but nothings perfect. Their boots always have calf fittings for small elephants anyway.

Dotty P, not on the list but those purple jeans on sale had to be got, plus some of their nice coloured tights.

New Look, some wet look leggings, all the rage, actually had a pair from a couple of years ago, but they didn’t fit so well (too baggy would you believe). The new ones fit much better, they should look sprayed on.

Primark, was just in for a cardi, belt and a bra, but it turned into a bit of a raid, got the grey cardi (not perfect), gold bra, two black on gold waist belts (couldn’t decide) but impulse purchased a very cheap leather(ish) jacket (I couldn’t resist at a fiver), black/leopard skin corset type thingy, some purple foil leggings (actually rather nice, honest), mini skirt, pencil skirt, long leather gloves ,various pairs of tights etc. Big bag full really. Girl on the till wanted to know if they had more of those jackets, she could spot a bargain too.

Well that’s pretty much every thing I needed, lunch time, wander up Oxford Street, browsing a few stores, and looking for somewhere to eat. Branch off in to Mayfair down South Moulton Street, Big Issue seller refers to me as Ma’am as I pass, do I look like a posh bond street Ma’am, no not really, buttering me up trying to get a sale.

Fancy lunch in a bar or a pub, but every one I see seems to be colonised by “dodgy geezers” (what are they doing in Mayfair?), don’t fancy braving them in this silly outfit, so carry on to Soho.

Find a nice looking bar that’s pretty empty, called Red just off Carnaby. Sit down, only to get moved to to another table by the bar staff, They where reserved he said (no one turns up for them the whole time I’m their). He calls me Sir too But I’m here and hungry. Order fish and chips and some wine. Read my book, drink the wine, quite comfortable really now, food arrives, takes a bit, but its actually pretty good, generous portion to, get 2nd glass of wine. Man is taking photo’s in the bar, not sure why, not sure if he takes my photo. Pay up, 18 quid!, bit over priced, they where small glasses of wine. Not a horrible experience but wouldn’t return.

Wander up through Soho to Forbidden Planet to pick up a couple of books. Will be visiting my folks over Christmas, will need books for that, just for something to do. Get a picture on a side street in Covent Garden

Its 3 now, where’s the time gone, jump on a bus to Camden.

Locate a new black lace top on sale at one of the gothic places, was very tempted by some Russian themed PVC (jacket, skirt, bustier) in another, but no another day. Find leatherette under bust corset in my size (not a real tight lacer, just a fashion item) hiding in a rack in Burleska, was cheap, flouncy black lace gloves with big cuffs in a Gothic Lolita place, ray gun in Cyberdog. Last bits where a Venetian mask, black bob wig and blue lippy in Escapade. An odd mix of stuff, certainly, but have a Sci-Fi outfit in mind (the corset, ray gun, wig and lippy are for that) and the lace and mask for a more “Dangerous Lasion” Period (ish) outfit for the Next Corsets and Diamonds.

Dark now, and I’m struggling to carry the shopping, but in a good mood, found every thing I was after, As I get to the platform at Camden Road station my train home roles in, perfect timings. Good mood continues.

Home, via local shop for food, sort out pictures, try on the clothes, plan outfits, eat, drink, fall asleep.

Saturday, big day planned. You see last week I figured this would be the last weekend I go really go out this year, and well just wanted a big blow out party all night in a tarty outfit sort of thing. But really it was going to be a tube down to the Way Out and dance around my handbag for a bit.

But a post by Louise Connolly and Jane Maybe ealier in the week change that, they where putting together for a night out in Milton Keynes, meal out followed by a night in the well know Pink Punters night club and had put out an open invitation on Roses forum. They had dozen or so going, though, could be a fun night, and I’d been meaning to go to PP for ages.

Check the hotel they where planning to use, the very well know, the Campanile in Fenny Stratford, well known to T folk any road, it’s known as “The Camp”, and its well known cause its directly opposite the club, and Pink Punters runs probably the biggest tranny night in the UK, Big Night Out (or is it Girls Night Out now, there was some politicking going on), so its had er one or two T* visitors before. So many in fact it’s booked out a month in advance on BNO nights. But you all probably knew that.

But this wasn’t a BNO, just a regular Saturday, and the hotel had free rooms, at a discount to, £35 quid a night. Can’t say no to that, said I’ll see them all at the club, No problem they replied. And we have space at the meal too.

Actually the hotel and club are not in Milton Keynes, they are in Bletchley the town next door (they sort of run into each other though), and checking the map, technically its Fenny Stratford. Bletchley was just a stop on the train to MK, but wait a minute, isn’t that where Bletchley Park is, you know Station X, the WWII code breaking centre where Alan Turing worked and they had the first computer. Checked web, yes it is, and its open that day, and its even close to the station. That could be interesting.
(another thing that inspired this visit was Penny Morris’s blog from June)

So the plan was, Train to Bletchley, check in, visit Bletchley Park in afternoon, back to hotel change into Restaurant outfit, meet girls in hotel bar, meal out, back to hotel to change into club outfit, over the road to the club and dance till I drop, then crawl back to the hotel.

Good plan I thought. Timings going to be tricky though, and thinking about it, it would be most practical to do it all in Helena mode, could be a challanage,

So that’s all set, the big xmas blow out in MK. Just have to get packed and get there now ….

Should of packed Friday night shouldn’t I. Bit of a mad rush around Saturday morning, quick change, minimal makeup and plain jeans and jacket daytime outfit, was heading into the unknown so decided to play it safe. Pack everything, slightly more than everything actually I thought (still actually missed a few things), end up with a full suitcase, a camera bag and a hand bag, yikes, all that for just one night? And were have my ballet flats gone? Pack kittens instead as restaurant shoes.

No shower gel though, better get some, and I was wearing knew highs, knew these didn’t work with the shinny leggings (the band at the top shows though) and kittens, use ankle highs? (couldn’t bare going bare legged), but don’t have any, right dash to local shops & cash machine, get gel, no ankles highs in my local shops though, damm.

Time getting on, time getting on, check web, yes train I can get if I leave now. Leave now, get 2 minutes down the road and get the nagging feeling I’d left the fire on. Keep going for 2 more minutes, can’t ignore the nag and I won’t be happy if I don’t check. Dash back home and check, er no it was off, I was fine, just totally paranoid I guess.

Right I’m late now, quick to the tube station, on tube, 1 minute delay at KX, argg, Euston, up escalators, yes, just enough time to get a ticket and get train. Run, get ticket, guy is slow, but just enough time and er where’s the 10:43??? There isn’t one, I’d misread, the next train to Bletchley is 10:54, I have 12 minutes, few. One of several lucky breaks this weekend. Find some ankle highs in boots, grab a coffee and muffin and settle into my seat in plenty of time.

Feels odd going towards MK on a Saturday with tart clothes instead of a snowboard. Read snowboard magazine on train to readdress normality.

Trains on time (for a change…) and I’m in Bletchley before 12. Woman a station pings T-dar 6′, big furry coat, flesh tone tights, heavy makeup, strong features, wig? and glitery silver courts. Before lunch in Bletchley, has to be. But there’s no sisterly recognition when I look at her.

Get out map, had printed off maps and directions at work on Thursday. Only takes half an hour to get to the Hotel, not a hard walk, but aren’t we in car land now. And aren’t the flats cheap. Unseasonally warm too, girl mode, hat, scarf, jacket and that walk with the luggage had left me warm too.

Hotels doesn’t look bad, right on the edge of the country and there’s the club as promised, right opposite, with big rainbow signs with Lesbian, Gay & Transgender written on them. Can’t mistake that.

Deep breath, this my first time ever checking in in girl mode, but it is “The Camp”, shouldn’t phase them should it. It doesn’t, not an eyelid bashed (receptionist is a bit camp too :)), even though the reservation has Mr on it cause of my debit card. I try to avoid pronouns and stick to initials. But I’m really to early to check in, 12:15 and normal check in is 2, oh dear, but the receptionist goes to check, yes the room is ready, phew and I’m in. Woot, 1st stage complete.

Freshen up in the room and take a picture or two

Room isn’t bad, clean and functional, even has tea and coffee, and Biscuits good value. Right Bletchley park next, ask reception about Bus Stops (don’t fancy the walk again) he isn’t sure (out here in car land busses are somewhat of a novelty item only used by old people) but thinks there might be one at Tesco’s further down the road.

Find Tesco’s, hard to miss its ones of those enormo ones and a whole retail park. Hey they have a Barranto (is that how you spell it?) shoes, they do big sizes, no not enough time, just grab sarnie and coke in Tesco’s and find the bus stop.

Bus roles up immediately, heading to the bus station, which is in the right direction, and there’s no charge, hey result. Another piece of luck this weekend.

At Bus Station, get map out and follow. Spot sign to Bletchley park pointing towards the road the station is on, but the map (off Google) says another way. Well the map is a walking map, and the sign is for cars, so logically I should follow the map and not the sigh, cars are sometime sent around long routes.

Proves a bit further than I’d though, and its not looking good, er I appear to be in the middle of a housing estate, not a country house, er, er not good. I ask for directions but the woman says I’m the 2nd person to ask her today, but she’s sorry she doesn’t know where Bletchley park is Follow map to the end, it’s a cul-de-sac. Not right, but I think I can see a big house in the distance, right back er in the direction of the station. Map has sent me to the right postcode, but not to the entrance to the site, which is on the other side, bloody computers. Follow road around and loop back, and eventually find the site, its 2 minutes from the station. Lost 20 minutes or more on that little tour of Bletchley, Doh.

Walk up to the park, doesn’t look busy, ask for a ticket from security guy on the gate, “You go over to Hut B to get a ticket, Mate” he replies, hmmpphh! Find hut B and get my ticket, people in their (and in fact the rest of the site) are far more polite. It’s a tenner to get in, pricey but it allows you to go back anytime for free for a year after. Might have to take them up on that, time is short and this is going to be a flyer.

Wander around hut B first, there’s an exhibition of the Bombe (electro mechanical code breaker) and the various encryption machines (it’s not just the famous Enigma) in the basement. Start taking pics, curse the camera when they don’t come out. Until I realise I still had the flash on Commander mode from the Hotel shots with remote flash, switch to TTL, Ahhhh much better.

There’s a statue of Alan Turing also. Actually did know quite a bit about him and his work from my Comp-Sci degree. His death was a tragedy of the highest order.

Upstairs there’s a more general WWII exhibit with a section, both military and for the home Front, with a rather curious (in modern eyes) set of propaganda photo’s

Interesting exhibits but perhaps not quite totally gripping. Had seen on the map in the reception there was actually a Computer museum with a replica Colossus, well that had to be the next stop.

It was on the over side of the site though. Walk through taking photo’s. The site is a crusty, which is good, photographically, little sad really, I guess they don’t have the cash to keep it in tip top condition. But then again most of it is just wooden huts put up in the forties, they weren’t designed to last forever.

They had a harrier parked on a field near the computer exhibit, not sure why, I guess it’s an old one. It likes having its picture taken.

I catch the guided tour as it goes into the colossus exhibit and get the run down. Quite fascinating really, both how it was ran (very laborious and rigorous) and how the replica was built. It’s a very important machine, although its only semi programmable, and doesn’t really have much in the way of memory, it really was the first actual hardware implementation of a form of Turing machine, which Alan Turing designed as a theoretical machine that could perform any calculation a human being could, the basis of computation. Though it was actually designed by a telephone engineer called Tommy Flowers who realised the possibility of building a computing machine based on the switches he built for automatic telephone exchanges.. It is really the great great great (and a few more greats) grandfather of the machine I wrote this blog on, the one that hosts it and the one you are reading it with. Though it has to be said the average phone these days has more raw computer power (and far more memory), but it could crack the rotor combinations of the best Axis code machines in under 12 hours, which was a incredible achievement on encryption methods that where considered unbreakable. I’m glad they have a dedicated team preserving its memory. I pop a donation in the tin. Sad something so important to today’s life as computing history is in a few sheds in Bletchley, old shards of pottery gets treated better.

Tour the rest of the museum, its quite small and not yet complete. Main frame room, lots of big old tape drives and disk platters, man pops out, work there and enthusiastically explains to me what they are and did. Which was nice. This sort of thing is a bit before my time though (though I have written code on mainframes over the years)

Check the other rooms, ohh a PDP 11, that’s the box ATT  enginneers at Bell Labs first implemented Unix on.

And the PC room, hey a Spectrum, ZX81, Amiga and Atari ST and all sorts of 8 bit kit (no Vic 20 though) Have a bit of a geek out. On a shelf they even have a Commodore 2001 PET, 8bit 6502, 8k RAM, tape drive, mono monitor, I wrote my very first programs on one of these in school in 1981, Wow. Ok that’s Wow for me, you lot are probably nodding off, but I am a proud member of the 8bit generation, sorry.

See the lot, fun, fun for me, computers has been a part of my daily life for the last 27 years, so that’s why this stuff is important.

Get one of the sites curators (he was having a cig outside) to take my picture by the sign. It’s a very rare smiling one

Getting late now, back through the site, tour a couple more of the huts. Interesting, you realise just how many of the staff here in its heyday where women.

Last stop at the gift shop, well you have to. Couple of bits of logo’ed tat, some sweets and a book on recreating 50’s fashion (for Burlesque nights you see) go in the bag.

Good trip, educational and not your average tranny trip, pity I had to compress it, probably missed a lot, didn’t even go in the main house. But I can return, for free, will do.

Back to the bus station, bus turns up right on queue, don’t have to pay and I’m back at Tesco’s. Well other side of the road. One of the abandoned shopping trolleys of Milton lies forlorn in the under pass.

Get some supplies in Tesco’s, hrmm no chilled wine, well I suppose we are in car land. Water, wine, pastries, crisp, the essentials, go in the basket. They are playing Xmas tunes in the store, Band aid’s “Do they know its Christmas” comes on as I pass the bakery section and a guy working there starts to sign along. Hearing that I suddenly come over all “Christmassy” for the first time this season, and wander around the store all happy and smiley, life’s good.

Back to the hotel, its 3:45, had arrange to meet Louise in the bar at 5:45, so that’s 2 hours to redo makeup to convert it to evening mode, change into the first outfit and do my nails and take pics. I’ll have to be fast.

Eat a few snacks and drink the little (25cl) bottle of wine, room has no mini fridge like the Novatel, pity, still it’s a 3rd of the price, so its warm.

Change into gold bra, add a bit more padding, black off the shoulder top, gold heart pendant, black & gold bangles, the wet look leggings, those ankle high I managed to grab and the kitten heels. Have to makeup the body quite a bit, shaved chest day before and it was coming out spots already, plus wearing the big boobs on Friday and a bra all day today had left a bit of a red mark Face gets a treatment too, much more shading on the cheeks, big red heavily lined lips, black smokey eyes with gold glitter on the lids, top off with blonde Barbie wig, rock on. Hopefully it’s modest enough for the restaurant, Louise did state LDB’s for the night, but I don’t have one, they don’t work with my shoulders anyway (I can show one, but not both, all goes blokey if I do)

Get camera out, look out the window. Hey out, now that’s a sunset. Lights been good to me all day so far.

But do get a few pics of me too. Lights not quite as kind, or is it just my face is nasty. Hide the wrinkles afterwards. Also it’s the 2nd day in a row in Helena mode, shaving and makeup are starting to take their tole. The club should be dark and hopefully the restaurant has “mood” lighting so fingers crossed no one will see me properly.

Finally read, change camera to little 35 lens (smaller), pack mini makeup bag and stuff it all in my hang bag, Only a couple of minutes late phew, leave room to run into Jane Maybe as she’s leaving hers, one of the nights organisers, she’s in the room opposite, coincidence

Bar, and there’s Louise and a number of T-girls I don’t know, sit, chat, drink, take pictures (of course) and fail to remember anyones’s name Camera played up for a bit, EE errors, oops whats that, take back to room, swap lenses a couple of times and it goes away, yikes.

Return to the bar.

What’s with the jeans Louise, you said little black dresses, I don’t know you looked great, I’ll let you off this time. A number of the girls had travelled a fair way to get here, most are from the frozen north, shows what a big draw PP is if it can bring people from Manchester all the way here.

Time passes, we get the call a few of the party are already at the restaurant, so taxi’s are ordered. They take a while to turn up, but they get there eventually. Taxi driver is chatty and friendly, MK by night is even weirder, just sodium lit dual carriageways and roundabout floating in black space, there don’t appear to be any land marks. But the driver knows the place and it doesn’t take long. Hey I’ve seen this pkace before, well a traditionally styled Indian building among MK’s rectangles stands out, its quite near the centre, a place called Jaipur, it’s an Indian Restaurant, on the ground floor, but our destination is the Orchid Lounge, the Thai restaurant on the 1st floor. It’s all rather opulent and grand, adding to the sense of occasion and the staff are totally polite, they also even remember some of the girls who went here a year ago. We meet the others in the restaurant bar, sit, talk, drink (not me, pacing self till at least when the food comes) eat the very good complementary crackers until everyone turns up and the table is ready.

Quite a mix of people, TS, TV,. T whatever, some familiar, some new, young, young at heart, passable, not so passable (that’s me) from the south, the midlands and the north. About 12 turned up in all.

We order, most go for the set menu, always a good choice for variety and quantity, but there’s always one awkward one who insists on ordering something different and confusing things. The awkward one was me this time, sorry, was trying to stick to the veggie path, so I ordered veggie starter and main.

Food arrives quite fast, think there was a little confusion about the starters, to little arrives, its mentioned, then a load more arrive, to much perhaps, oops. I eat mine then grab some of the veggie bits of their mixed hors d’oeuvres . Me bad, me was hungry though.

Mains come, I just stick to my mushrooms, pleasant, spicy but not overpowering, nice. We talk and chat, discoing travel, motorcycles, trans and all sorts. Oh and the camera’s come out again, what are we like.

Good coffee and a bill sorted we make out way out, Indian gentleman down stairs in traditional dress helps us with our coats and shows us their new bicycles. Even more photo’s are taken by the big elephant and those new bikes. Very friendly place, and seemed very happy to have us there, recommended. Would like to try the Indian restaurant on the ground floor too.

Get lift back to the hotel with the lovely er and er and er…. sorry. Last outfit of the night then, swap the leggings for thin tights and a really tiny shiny and very tight American Apparel micro skirt and swap the kittens for the terminator 5″ platforms. Fix makeup, and loose the pony tail from the hair as it had been pulling back at the restaurant, felt it might come off when I’m dancing. Take pictures, what me?

That’s a lot of leg. Could of done with slightly thicker tights to hide my manky skin though, and my the knee I grazed earlier in the week (slipped on some ice on the way to work and it hadn’t heeled fully yet)

Right party time, must be around 11, not sure lost track, no coat, brave the cold, and totter around towards the club, avoiding the shorter route across the carpark as there’s a tricky looking grass verge in between that and the path. The road is quiet, pity wanted to shock a few passing cars So here we are Pink Punters, how do you get in, there? Oops, steep ramp down is hard in these heels (actually so is just walking, this is doubly hard), join queue, queue at this time of night, but it moves fast and joke with one of the girls from the restaurant, up some stairs and we are in, and there’s Abba being played, weeeee.

Quick glass of wine and a tour of the place, ground floor, big bar, dance floor, pool table (why?), internet, DJ playing cheese and hands in the air dance (Put your hands up for detroit, Only love can set you free etc. :)) , downstairs, loo’s mirrors and another dance floor, much heavier pounding dance, less light, more smoke, poles (need a few more drinks before I try them) . Up stairs, little cellar bar, smaller than I thought (seen about a 1000 t-girl pictures taken here), seats, bricks and beam, cosy, no music (a little come through the floor) and a roaring log fire. Cosy but perhaps a little warm. Can’t find anyone I know, so loop back down to the ground floor and have a little dance and take a few pics.

Place is filling up, not over crowded, you can still move, but enough to make it feel busy, mixed to, gay guys and girls, t-girls, gangs of what, I presume are, straight girls and what looks like several straight couples, a nice mix. T-girls are a minority, its not technically a tranny night (er well it might be, the “Angelic” night, but that seems to have fallen by the way side, probably cause every one goes to BNO) but there are enough of us about. Atmosphere is very friendly, every one is up for a party, some have Christmassy outfits, no attitude and hostility detected.

Cause t-girls are a minority, especially ones in micro skirts and killer heels, I’m noticed. And noticed by the 20 something GG’s, doesn’t take long until I’m dancing with them and being pulled into photo’s On offers me her phone to type my name into so she can look me up on facebook after (she hasn’t, oh yeah I’m not on Facebook now, warning, I don’t accept friend requests from anyone I’ve never met in person, sorry) . Also looks smiles, shock, and comments, “You look fabulous”, “Look at those legs”, “I have that dress, it looks better on you, Bitch:)”

Some of the girls are even a little er hands on, OK there’s some down right groping going on, especially from one girl with a huge tattoo on her back, she seems all over every T-girl on the dance floor. It’s nice to get attention from girls, something Ian never experiences, but it’s really cause I’m the OTT drag queen, and I’m safe cause I’m obviously gay. But I’m not really. Does confuse me a bit, not used to it, slightly scary even, shy nerd mode kicks in and I sort of disentangle myself from them after a few minutes, worried my hands might wander to far or I might say the wrong thing and it all would go horribly wrong. Quit while your ahead I guess and don’t make a fool of yourself with girls young enough to be your daughter just out for a laugh. Still quite an experience. And one I’ll probably try to repeat (naughty!).

Do find some of the t-girls I was with later on. Try to take photo’s but camera’s playing up again with that Error, fiddle a bit and it goes away.

Continue a few laps of the club, dancing, drinking, picture taking, before ending up upstairs. Getting tired now, feet are on their way out and warm, very warm, even in that tiny outfit. Find the others and a few more I recognise from roses. Rest up, chat take photo’s, fluff photo’s , realise flash is in the wrong mode again, take better photo’s.

Put feet up near the fire and do sort of mange to keep a conversation going, OK she was doing most of the talking

It’s about half 2 by now, time has flow and I’m flagging, been a long day, decide one more lap then back to the hotel. Lap takes a bit longer than expected and I’m on the dance floor again and taking pics, but EE again.
Investigate, could that be it, the aperture ring on the lens isn’t locked and it gets moved from the high setting when it gets put in my bag, and when it isn’t at the highest setting, the camera can’t interface properly (its an old design lens primarily for film camera’s), put the aperture setting back, lock the ring, and EE goes away, phew, problem sorted.

Downstairs on more time, well I had to try the poles. But I’m rubbish on them (can you get lessons), but another GG grabs me for a dance. Back upstairs, try to last till 3, few more dances, some of the other t-girls have come down, Abba’s on again

By 10 to 3 my feet where agony and I’m very tired and hungry (even after all that Thai food) right, that’s it enough. Great night though, one of the best ever, proper Christmas blow out, many thanks to Louise and Jane for putting it all together.

Outside, nice and cool, hrm there’s no handy kebab shop is there, still have some pastries at the hotel. Climb up the ramp carefully. Nice tree.

Cross road, want to get back to my room NOW, booze and befuddlement affect my judgement and I decide to cross that grassy ditch, bad mistake, nearly fall over, heals dig in and get dirty and I look very silly. Have to hang on to a tree. But get across eventually (it’s only like a metre and a bit, hardy epic) and back to my room.

Get out of those shoes after the photo sharpish, deslap and wig (oh forgot wipes) and loose the outfit. It was great fun and got me so much attention, but so much hard work it’s a relief to be out of it really. Eat, drink water, bed, ahhhhhhh.

But I don’t sleep well, unfamiliar beds are always like that, even when I’m really tired. Finally nod off for a bit but wake about 8.

Now I need to get home, and I really should check out by 10. Had Ian’s shoes and jeans with me, and a neutral top, but I would have to wear girl coat. But I have the most of the complete makeup kit with me (filled a shoe box full) and a razor, yes I can do Helena, whole long weekend as girl, even checking in and out of a hotel, aren’t we pushing it these days .

Shaving is a bloody mess, with emphasis on the blood, yeah that’s why I don’t do consecutive girls days that often, change back into girl jeans and boots, but have clean underwear and that neutral black polo neck. Makeup is done fast, a totally minimal job, just enough to cover the shadow, hope its enough. People probably will think I’m a bloke anyway. Back to normal hair, its straw like and needs a wash. It’s getting a bit tired really and needs replacing, but they ain’t selling this model anymore a quandary.

Ready and packed by 10 to 10, a lens cap (from the long lens I used at Bletchley park not the club lens oddly enough) and the little rubber bit over the view finder has gone missing look high and low, can’t find. Clean up hotel room, don’t like to leave a mess and make sure I find everything I brought with me.

Am checked out by 10, no problems and its back to the station, walk seems quicker cause I know the way. And there’s a train in 2 minutes, run with the huge case over the foot bridge to platform 4. Cept the train doesn’t turn up, its 15 minutes late, they didn’t go and get the carriages or something. London Midland trains are particularly useless and I have to suffer them nearly every day.

Ride back to London, hungry and thinking about dinner mostly. Must have a roast dinner, don’t know why but I must, need to drop off the luggage though, tube home, brush straw hair, out again, towards the local, still tired don’t want to walk anywhere. But they don’t do veggie roasts, shall I eat meat? Order something else oh there’s the bus. Ride bus to Islington and Keston Lodge, they do veggie roasts and wine, and have comfy seats and a relaxed atmosphere.

Food comes quickly, that’s what I needed, ends off the weekend a treat, feel so relaxed and happy. After dinner I could stay with my book and another glass of wine, but I would definitely fall asleep, can’t do that in a bar, in girl mode. Plus I snore anyway. Force my self to get up and head home. I can sleep there

Pick up some stuff for tea from Budgens, a cardboard fire engine for my parents cats (yes really, they make them for cats, they make cardboard tanks and planes too) and stop at Starbucks for caffeine and sugar.

Home, start sorting out the pictures, OMG there’s bearly 250 of them, it takes a while. Fall asleep halfway though.

Been quite a weekend, probably won’t be able to have much Helena time until new year though cause of work and family Find today work have cancelled my time off between the 29th-31st, lots of unprintable words!!!!, but at least I’ve got the rest of this week off.

Happy Christmas Everybody

Love
  Helena

Friday, Office Xmas party at a swanky hotel in Mayfair and as usual, boring old bloke doesn’t go. Well I don’t really like parties, was on call, and well had better things to do, but mostly ’cause I’m an unsociable git. Plus it was a formal do with penguin suits and evening gowns, perhaps if I would of gone if I could of worn a gown

Actually worked from home on Friday, boss did, so if he can I can And since everyone was knocking off at 3 for the party, I could down tools early too and have some quality Helena time.

Change into rather nondescript chunky sweater and jeans combo with furry boots and coat, to stop it being to androgynous go large up top. Later realise the mistake later, chunky sweater and D cup make doing up the coat a bit difficult.

Add hat and coat and am out by half six. Make my way to the tube and text Jane. A number of girls from UK Angels had planned a meal out on Sunday in London, but my family had since decided to have a family get together that day, so I really had to go to that (it was “optional” according to my mum, but these things never really are) instead. But the upshot of that Sunday meal was a few girls where in town all weekend, so have some company for a change.

Find Jane’s hotel and decide to wait for her in the bar, try the attached public bar, but its too busy, so duck around though the hotel lobby to get into the hotel bar itself, which is deserted, suits me. Order (eventually) a glass of wine, get red (sure I asked for white) and wait for Jane. She’s not late (by T-girl standards).

Both of us are hungry, so its off to find somewhere to eat. We end up nearby at a place called Kitchin-n1. Big place, sort of a buffet thing, all you can eat for a fixed price, food is a mixture, Indian, Chinese, Thai and Italian (and Christmass dinner) etc. It takes them a little while to find us a table (the place is pretty busy, looks like a few groups are having Christmas meals and there is a bit of a party atmosphere going), then get plates and tuck in. Well greedy girl here does, Jane is more selective and restrained. Trouble with all you can eat, is well I feel I have to, having a rather large capacity for food also doesn’t help. 4 plates full later and I’m stuffed. Food is pretty good, a step up from your usual cheep buffets around town (a couple of Chinese ones I’ve been to have been dreadful) and a good choice is available even for people not eating meat. Reaction wise from staff and other customers seemed mostly OK, (GG tried to talk to me before saying “Oh I thought you where someone else”) though I think one of the waiters did address me as “Sir” once He didn’t get a big tip, but apart from that, good meal.

After we walk up towards Islington, we’d agreed to go to the pictures, so I’d booked Quantum of Solace at the nearby Vue. Neither one of us needs any popcorn after that dinner, so into the film. Which isn’t bad, very different sort of feel to it, quite a change from the norm, even a bit different to Casino Royal and nothing like the rather sillier later Roger Moore pics. I’ve heard it described as “James Bourne”, yeah a bit of similarity to the Bourne films. Daniel Craig come isn’t a gadget and quip wielding gentleman, more of an cold angry hit man. Bond girl Olga Kurylenko is cool and Gemma Arterton is as cute as a button, pity she doesn’t get more screen time.

But Jane had seen the film before, she said she didn’t mind seeing it again, oh dam, sorry hun but well you could of told me ?

It’s pretty late by the time its over, so we walk back towards Kings Cross and Jane’s Hotel, but decide to stop at the Lexington on Pentonville road for a night cap. The Lexington used to be Clockwork, which I’ve mentioned before and liked, décor has been improved a bit and there are more comfy chairs, range of cocktails much reduced (are their any?) though just loads of nasty whiskey stuff, still there’s always wine (but by this time I’m on diet coke). But the casual, accepting, easy going attitude is still the same. It’s not busy when we got there, but it does fill up with a young, slightly bohemian crowd, after a bit 

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Couple of drinks, and a chat for a bit before heading back, wave goodbye to Jane and tube home. Thanks for your company Jane isn’t it nice to just have a normal night out, causally dressed, nice restaurant, trip to the pictures and a night cap in a cool bar, no TG scene and no problems (apart from that “Sir”, but I’ll survive that)

Saturday, usual Helena day, usual problems shaving when doing two Helena days in a row, there’s blood. New year’s resolution has to be to at least try Laser. Late starting (late night Friday you see) but get ready eventually, another chunky sweater, longish khaki skirt I’d had for ages but don’t think I’d worn before, woolly tights, leather jacket and boots. Weather looked rubbish, rain and more rain, forecast said it would stop later, but was still chucking it down then, so add a beret.

Out by nearly twelve and bus to Angel in the miserable weather. Still had a little Christmas shopping to do, pop into the big art shop to get a few things for my mother, as there are apparently a few art materials she doesn’t yet have (she is actually an artist, but has a rather oversized collection of materials). Find the right ones, then yeah its lunch time, still raining so just pop into a local gastroish bar called The Winchester (Minder?) . Food menu looks good, but realise they aren’t serving it, they don’t serve mains till 4pm, before that its breakfast. That’s pretty laid back even for Islington. Service is pretty laid back too, but I eventually get the waitress’s attention. Simple omelette and some wine I think. Red wine arrives, I’m sure I ordered white, again, perhaps its cause Helena voice is pretty quiet and they don’t hear me properly. Chef must be laid back also, food takes a while, but its perfectly respectable when it does come (could of done with ketchup though ;))

After lunch, rain doesn’t like its stopping anytime soon, but still have stuff to do, pop across the road to Diva, a cute card shop, to get cards, wrapping papper and bags and stuff. Wince at the price. All goes in a big carrier bag with Diva written on it, so I can be a Diva for the day

Bus over to Camden, one last present to get, one of my brothers is difficult to buy for and had decided you to get him an “amusing” tee shirt and Camden’s the best place around here for that.

Rain isn’t stopping. Forecast was wrong

Tramp around the tee shirt places and the usual haunts in the wet. Have to tell myself No its not a shopping trip for you, lacy gloves, ray guns and corsets have to stay un-bought (well till next week anyway) but eventually find a tee shirt that will do, Han Solo doing the vacuuming with R2D2 as the hoover, he’ll get it.

After the shop and stand trawl, drop into a branch of Nero for a Latte, to dry out, to have a little read and to decide what to do next. No it’s too cold and wet and I have all the stuff I need, so no more shopping, tube home instead.

Feet up sort out pictures, fix make up (a bit) and er go out again. That’s different, quick dash to the station (still raining!) and tube to Kings Cross, again, the Angels are still in town and although Jess and Jane where going clubbing that night but they had agreed to meet me for a drink and dinner first.

Sit by the Champagne bar in St Pancras Station (Jess’s suggestion) with a glass of fizz (the cheap one (£7.50!), but I reckon its pretty good, but what do I know about champagne) waiting for them and watching the world go by. The girls are fashionably late, but turn up eventually. Jess is still having problem with her foot (read her blog for the details) but the good news is it looks like it is now healing.

We move to a booth and fix the worlds problems over a glass or two of slightly better champagne and some nibbles.

It’s to cold and still too wet to go outside, so after the fizz we just move across the platform to the local branch of Carluccios’s for bread, pasta and another glass of wine or two. St Pancras can be a good destination just to go out in, you don’t even need to catch a train.

Food, wine, bread, service and conversation is all good, lovely to see you again Jess, like the new hair and glad to hear your leg is getting better. After dinner Jess and Jane return to their hotel to change into their clubbing clothes and I tube it home for the final time. It’s still raining. Hope the meal went well on Sunday.

Another day of, well, normal stuff, no hostile reactions, ordinary really, but dressed down ,hiding under a brolly and hat tramping around a rainy Islington and Camden is playing it rather safe.

Sunday, when I should be having a meal out with the Angels I’m Ian again, doing my duty, wrap presents (oh dear I really am a bloke aren’t I, doesn’t go well) on a train up north with armfuls of those Christmas and birthday presents. Full Family do, my parents, my 2 brothers, sister, 2 sisters in laws, sisters boyfriend, 3 nephews and the sado singleton. As usual I’m a bit left to one side with conversations mostly about the kids talk to cats and dogs instead. Newphew seesm to like his Btaman costume. Still they feed us well. Bloody hell, 3 restaurant meals and a big family dinner in three days, you fat pig. 

Lie in on Saturday, needed it, lazy change, takes ages just to figure out what to wear, end up with a rather basic black sweater (how unusual) denim skirt (how unusual) combo, with a big jacket, thick woolly opaque’s and low heel tan boots combo. Not exactly exciting, but hopefully warm and practical, forecast said it would be cold today. Skirt was a nice mid thigh length Benetton one that was cut like a pencil skirt, although rather tight and restrictive, it actually felt good. Hadn’t worn that skirt for ages, should get it out more. Makeup takes less than one CD (Republica) to do, which is actually quite fast for me. Find little lump on face, oh no not another in growing hair doesn’t show after makeup.

By now its half eleven, can’t be bothered to take proper photo’s and its not like the outfit isn’t very er Flickr friendly anyway, so just take an arm out snap and out we go.

Sun is shinning, its not that cold after all, in fact it’s rather pleasant for December. Walk to Islington via a cash machine towards a restaurant I spotted earlier in the week. It’s nice to wander along in the sunshine, happy and carefree, occasionally dipping into the odd shop or two for a look.

Get to the restaurant by about 5 past lunch time, looks open, but there’s nobody in it, and it’s a bit dark, eventually get attention of a staff member and ask for a table for one. Sorry can’t they reply technical problems, Oh, Ok then, fair doos. Guess that’s why it’s dark and empty, electrical problem?. Did fancy their brunch menu though.

So go to the bar round the corner, “The Bull” and have a not at unpleasant veggie burger and glass of wine with my new book, the latest Justina Robson .

All warm and happy now, but can’t stay here all day, have Christmas shopping to do, in Clapham, which is a fair old trek. Walk to Kings Cross via Angel (Wow what a dress in Karen Millen, I want, oh its £200, oh, I don’t want it that much) and jump on the tube to Victoria

No tube to Clapham Junction, but half the trains from Victoria go there. Since I can get almost any train, decide to get a coffee and wander around a bit first. Reckon the Amaretto Latte from Nero is one of the best Xmas coffee offerings this year, tad sweet, but flavoured coffees usually are. Get two free biscuits with it too

As I wander around the shops in the little upstairs mall, a woman calls me “Miss” and beckons me over to see the products she was promoting, just wave her off. Double result though being called Miss at my age is always a buzz (especially when its in good light) and the product she was selling was heated hair curling tongs, I guess she didn’t realise my hair was synthetic Ok she was only being nice and angling for a sale, but the ego was stroked.

Finish my coffee and jump on the next train to Clapham Junction, only takes 5 minutes or so. Buy some fun xmas cards for my siblings in the branch of JoY at the Station. Note to self, check prices on cards first, I know he’s your brother, but 4.75 for a card!

Reason for this trek was to go to Party Party, that big fancy dress shop here, (I’ve mentioned this place before haven’t I). Talking to my brother mid week, it turns out my soon to be 4 year old nephew has recently gone mad on Superhero’s for some reason, so I’d decided to buy him a batman costume for Christmas (get the lad dressing up at an early age….) and according to the website, this shop had them. Find it eventually, shop is rather busy and full of fun stuff. Also drop a silver catsuit into the bag, not for the little one, for me

My nephew is really the only fun person in my family to buy presents for at the moment (but just wait till his cousins get older). But the less interesting ones need presents too.

Wander around a few more shops, TK Maxx shopping failure as usual, and not much else appeals, do spot some nice boots, but in my size, not likely, and some funky party outfits, but I really don’t go to enough (any) parties to warrant them. Eventually find a couple of books for a brother and sister in Law in Waterstones, oh what’s this 3 for 2 offer, have to find another one for me then. Pay but then realise that’s rather a lot, check receipt, not 3 to 2, all full price decide to make a little fuss about it, normally try to limit interaction to the bear minimum when in girl mode, just in case, but well was in a positive mood, so very politely point this out to the woman on the till. She’s very apologetic, rescans all the items and gives me a refund on my card. Have to fill in a form for a refund though, oops, probably have to use my given name as it’s the one on the card, can’t bring myself to sign Ian “My family name” though, settle for I. “My family name” and its accepted. Guess its worth not being totally timid all the time, a little bravery saved me seven quid.

Need to get some DVD’s as presents too, well if Nephew has a Batman outfit, he needs a Batman film doesn’t he. No big HMV or Zaavi or the like around I can see, so jump on a bus back into town.

Change bus at Vauxhall for one to Oxford Circus. But it doesn’t make it. It stops early near Parliament square. Normally this sort of thing annoys, but today, well the good mood was continuing, so no worries, I’ll just walk the rest of the way.

Take a round about route past allsorts of government? offices, Green Park, the Mall (drop into the ICA for a look around) and up to Piccadilly Circus. It’s getting dark now, but find a couple of interesting (to me) sights in the twilight for photo’s.

Piccadilly Circus, hey it’s got that big Zaavi hasn’t it, find a Batman DVD for nephew, the recent batman pics are to dark and wouldn’t really suit a 4 year old, but the wonderfully silly U rated 1966 original with Adam West will do a treat. Throw in a few episodes of Bob the builder for him and a copy of Woman on the edge of a nervous breakdown (Ok that last one was for me) .

Think I have all the Xmas shopping I can get today, but don’t want to go home. Remembered to check the football today, they where playing at 3 so it’s best to not head home before 7. So where next? Drift around the Trocadero, then up through Soho, to Carnaby.

Stop for a drink, nah, wander around the vintage shops instead in Kingsly Court, then on to MAC. Well you have to, though it’s mainly to check the face though, yep its still there. Spot someone having a foundation test, hrmm male? Maybe a T girl in drab?

Leave Soho and on to Regent street, wait a minute, all the traffics gone, oh right they must be having a pedestrian day like they did last year (wait that was a year ago! time flies….) Join the throng wandering down the street.

Spend the next couple of hours wandering down Regents street and Oxford street, well I was in the area might as well make use of the special offers Sparkly jacket from French Connection, nah to expensive and of limited use, great boots in Barratts and the staff practically jumped me asking if I need help, but they don’t go up to my size in that style

Do manage to get a top and pair of gloves from H&M and some fancy undies in La Senza though. Well its 40% off in La Senza on the glam stuff, so get a sort of girdle/basque type thingy in black and gold, my Xmas pressy to me Bunch of hoody gangsta wanabe’s come into La Senza whilst I’m there, no idea why, but they make a nuisance of themselves, sort of hide behind some clothing racks at the rear of the store, don’t wish to be spotted by them. After a few minutes the manageress comes out with the security guard and tells them all to leave. They verbally abuse the security guard as he escorts them out. Not nice types.

Do Selfridges, M&S and Primark and I’m at the end of the street. Shopping done, Getting a bit tired now, and have several bags, getting more of the “looks” as well, guess cause I stoop more when tired and laden (have mentioned this phenomenon before as well haven’t I). Need a break, hey its dinner time, but where? Suddenly have a hankering for fishy pasta, don’t know why. Head back towards Soho (bus home is that sort of that way you see) trawling around loads of places, none look just right, either been there before, don’t have want I want, are too full, are too empty, are to casual are to formal, are too swanky, are too cool, are too grotty, are too expensive etc.

Miss picky picky picky ends up on Old Compton Street, quite a few restaurants here, no not that one, not that one, ahhhh this one, The Soho Stockpot, cheap and cheerful, busy but not full, should be accepting around here and hey tagliatelle with salmon and spinach on the menu, just what I fancy get a little table in the corner. It’s rather tight space wise but not uncomfortable. Food and wine comes fast, big portion, hot and tasty, not haute cuisine but nice comfort food. Waitress is friendly to and calls me Madam, leave tip.

 Seated around me appears to be 2 gay guys, 2 lesbians, and what I thought by the voice to be a gay guy and a GG, but spot them as I leave, not a guy, girl, TS? No hint of sisterly recognition though. Thinking about it we probably had the whole LGBT spectrum in that little corner of the restaurant for half an hour. Anyway, Soho Stockpot, definitely recommended for cheep eats in the west end.

Is that the time, home I think, via supermarket. Was feeling recharged by dinner (the wine might of helped relax me to ) and sauntered around Sainsbury’s like I owned it, with a hint of a smile.

Bus home, again it stops early, but who cares, just walk the rest of the way, home by 10ish. Happy easy sort of day, not one negative comment I could detect, was treated well infact, got the stuff I was looking for, and some I wasn’t, nice eats too. It’s good to be a girl on day like that, it just felt right.

Next day that bloody spot got its revenge, the left hand side of my chin had inflamed and my chin was now the size of Desperate Dans It better go down by next week! Do laundry, in boy mode, but wearing Uggs, cause I can.

Sounds like the opening to a fairly surreal joke, but it did happen, sort of and my life is a fairly surreal joke anyway.

Friday, day off work, these are hard to get at the moment, bloody work, won’t be able to have long over Xmas off this year and I can’t go snowboarding till late Feb won’t even be able to use up al my holiday days this year, sob. So back to Friday, since I won’t get proper snow for a while it’s another trip to Milton Keynes to use the nearest alternative. But its not a very good alternative, left slope full of roped off freestyle toys, right slope half closed for tobogganing and their are loads of beginner skiers and boarders on the slopes. This means everyone is funnelled through small areas, so ice patches form as the snow is scraped off, ice is not fun and with the beginners everywhere you really have to be constantly on your guard to stop collisions too (someone even ran into me in the lift queue). So no fun really, no room to play Really should stop going on Saturdays and Fridays, it’s just no worth it. Go shopping in MK before going home, find some inexpensive boots and shoes in Shoe Zone (grab the size 9’s when you can get em) and some shorts and a gold belt in NewLook (on sale, 4 quid each).

Afternoon spent shopping in town, bit of a dash around (in Ian mode) to grab some bits and pieces for the weekend. Pick up a black photo backdrop, but when I got it home it turns out to be the wrong thing hope I can exchange it. Do get a few other bits though, new 35mm F2 lens, wanted a small (makes the camera handbagable) fast (better for poor light) prime for gig and club shooting, the 50 I have is a bit long, acetate to use a coloured gel for the lights, some stockings and a cake. Can’t find any purple acetate anywhere, wanted purple for a particular photo, but can’t find it, get some other polypropylene stuff that’s purple ish, but it turns out to be unsuitable, just not an intense enough colour.

Take a roundabout route home via Itsu (very filling noodles) and Clerkenwell. Go for a bit of a scout for a particular bar, The Priory. Good reason for this, was intending to go to a Burlesque night on Saturday at this location and decided to make sure I knew where it was first, didn’t want to be wandering around lost down cold dark streets in heels. Not hard to find after all, looks cool from outside, not to far from my bus routes either, good. Aching trendy area of Clerkenwell though, it looks to me like every one around here is either an architect or works in the media and they all live in lofts. Oops, maybe I’ll be too scummy for them, though it should be fairly safe. Note to self, next time you scout a location for a night out, check out parking, not for you, but many go by car and need to know if they can park.

Spend rest of the evening sorting out outfits for Saturday, was planning a little photo shoot during the day as well you see.

Princess Leia costume was OK, had a new bangle that worked OK with it, boots not such a good match though, wrong colour and lacking trim. Really haven’t got the figure to pull off this outfit properly either

Catwoman again, this outfit is fun, got some very cheap (Primark, what else) sparkly “diamond” necklace and earrings to use as a prop (cat burglar you see), but can’t find the toy bullwhip I got a couple of weeks ago. You see I’d painted it black a couple of days ago to go with the costume, but it had disappeared (I think I put it somewhere “safe” out of sight, but forgot where). Turned flat upside down trying to find it, mange to find it eventually, (was in a bag with all my belts) along with a shoe and a skirt I’d thought I had lost.

Other outfit was “Tranny Winehouse” an Amy Winehouse pastiche with the wig I got a couple of weeks ago. Couldn’t find a signature outfit for Amy so just went with a simple one I saw her in a few pictures, white vest, black bra, shorts and gold belt (reason for my purchase from Newlook). Copy her tatts from photo’s on to paper and practice drawing them on my arms in eyeliner pencil and lipstick, using a mirror (spot the upcoming mistake) Again its not really a very successful costume.

For the night out its self, plan was a Moulin Rouge/Burlesque/Saloon girl type thing with the corset and skirts I got a couple of weeks ago. Decided to go with the short skirt in the end, more in theme and practical. Gloves I eBayed had arrived on time (and the seller threw in a little extra tassle thingy too) and they turn out to be a fairly good colour match to the corset and skirt, but needed dressing up, lace fingerless under them helped, and a fabric rose hair accessory on worn the wrist really worked, but the tops need tarting up a bit. Figure I could cut the tops off stay ups to add some lace to the top of the gloves, but the only ones I had that would suit was the ones I was planning to wear, hrmm.

All this faffing around took ages, don’t get to bed till two.

Up early ish (7am, actually thats a lie in for me) , bathe, shave (everywhere) and start to get ready. But no, I really liked the rose on the wrist thing on the last outfit, it went so well, but I would need 2 more, one for the other wrist and the hair. Plus I still wanted some purple acetate or gel and could get some new stay ups to covert, so yes, must, with quick dash to Angel I could get the stuff and not delay me to much. Dash for the bus in Ian mode and get into central Islington by 10 as the shops opened. But the big art shop doesn’t have any purple either, Accessorise doesn’t have any black roses and but there does appear to be one last pair of black stay ups in M&S.

I have to have those roses by now, I get obsessive about these little things, want everything to be perfect however tiny, its irrational and noone else really cares, its just one of my (many) odd traits. Get bus to West End, must be able to get stuff there.

Still no purple acetate or gels in the West End I could find, end up with some coloured film stuff and clear purple slip case thingy, hope one of them will work. Claire’s accessories does have the roses, no match to the one I had, end up buying 4 (2 different designs) as I can’t choose, have to sent the guy in shop to the stock room for find more.

Tube back home, its half 11 by the time I’m done. I’ve lost nearly 2 hours, today is going to be against the clock.

De-bob and do makeup for Princess Leia. Wig is the Tomb Raider one from an ealier shoot (with the fringe pinned up) as the pony tail and colour is right. That wig doesn’t do me any favours though, hair that frames my face is far more flattering, and it’s cheap and nasty as well.

Princes Leia’s slave girl out fit has to be in the top ten nerd fantasies doesn’t it and it’s a personal fave, but on me in it doesn’t work so well, I just don’t have the figure for it and my face is all wrong and blokey. Have to shop the results a little to make it acceptable. Use orange acetate on two lights at floor level to get a warm “Tatooine” look to the back light and a white flash bounced off a brolly for the key light.

2nd outfit is Catwoman, the PVC (or is it coated Lycra, I can’t tell) catsuit feels nice on, though I my waist line isn’t really slim enough, I’ve been trying to be good the last few weeks to crunch down, but its hard, very hard Mask is like the other wig, no frame to the face, so again, not that flattering. This is the outfit I wanted the purple light for, try the film, the polypropylene and the slip case, none work, and in fact the heat from the flash melts the film a bit, oops. Go back to red and blue acetate instead.

Take pics at smaller aperture and boost the levels in post to make it all look darker, contrastier and comic book ish. Have to say again, I really like wearing that cat suit

Next outfit is Amy, clothes are simple but the makeup takes time, got to do the signature eye makeup flips and copy the tatts again using a mirror, hrm the lettering proves harder than the drawing, why do you think that is …

Open the aperture to try over expose a little and hide a few wrinkles, use an orange acetate on the lower light to add some warmth to my pasty legs. As in the Leia photo’s, legs are natural, no tights, not look I can really pull off, my skin isn’t good enough.

Again not great, arms and figure is too male and the wig silly, oh well it’s just a jokey picture. Use a chocolate ciggy and a pint of beer as props, seemed to suit Cig, as I said, was chocolate, can’t abide the real things, but I couldn’t find a substitute for the beer, so had to just use the real stuff and drink it too, Oh how I suffer for these pictures

Reviewing the pictures I see the tattoos are backwards. Doh! Of course I did them in a mirror, they are the wrong way around, that’s why doing the lettering was so hard. Don’t keep any shots that show this.

Last outfit was the party outfit, Coset and skirt from Burleska as mentioned in a previous post, extra extra large boobs (the corset was quite generous around the chest and need them to fill it, honest), What Katie Did undies, stockings (well stay ups actually but used as stockings), Drag Barbie wig and patent Mary Janes. Little rose hair accessories on the wrist do work, thankfully. Using stay up tops cut off and tape up to fit on the tops of the gloves is less successful, the lace is not the right type.

The boobs are huge (I call them “Shock” and “Awe”) and very heavy, I don’t use them often as wearing them supported by just a bra leaves red marks on my shoulders after an hour and they are rather, er obvious, but the corset supports them well in this outfit and it suits the theme. They are shinny and fake looking, but the lace tops covers up most of it. Yes very OTT, but it’s a dressing up night (and day).

Reboot makeup, try to match eye shadow and lips to the outfit, do nails, smudge nails, redo nails and take a few photo’s, use a little bit of red light to accent.

Probably the best pics (and outfit) of the day if you ask me. Corset can be fully done up, it’s bearable, but again, it’s only a 28″ one.

Original plan for the day involved me now having a bite to eat, glass of wine and watching Moulin Rouge on DVD (actually I haven’t seen it) before going out. But with the extra faffing around in town earlier I’m running late. Just have enough time to pack the bag with everything to go out, find a big coat to hide under and lockup.

Decide to save cash and bus it there instead of a cab. Bad mistake, it’s bloody freezing, shiver at the bus stop waiting for the bus, readout says it will be here in 5 minutes. Those 5 minutes last at least 10. Warm up on the bus a bit, and no one gives me a 2nd glance, its Islington on a Saturday night, weirder things have been seen.

Spot many GG’s at Angel in shorter coats and skirts and regular tights, how do they manage in the cold? They must be young (or from Newcastle).

Jump off at Mount Pleasant and walk the 10-15 minutes to the bar. Walk quickly to try and keep warm, doesn’t really work, am glad when I get there.

The place is The Priory as mentioned before and the night is Corsets and Diamonds. It’s described as Burlesque party where the females are the stars. It doesn’t spell it out loud, but its really a Lesbian night, the fact it gets mentioned in the Gay sections of the listing mags and appears to have been sponsored by the Gaydar girls web site/radio station thingy and the womans sex shop Shi sort of confirms it. But Tgirls are apparently welcome, as are even men, but they have to be appropriately dressed and accompanied by a woman. But it’s not quite like the last lesbian night I went to, nope no jeans and tee shirts, the Moulin Rouge theme (the theme changes for each event) is in full effect and its corsets and fishnets everywhere, Wa-hey Though I reckon quite a number of the girls where straight though, having a male partner with them sort of gave this away Nice to see the gentlemen making an effort too, top hats and tails very much in evidence.

It’s not busy when I get there near 9, check makeup and try to tighten the corset, struggle, so a GG helps me, which is nice. I think GG’s like lacing up Tgirl’s corsets up tight

Spot two t-girls, Debe who I’d seen before at the Magic theatres and her friend (called, er, er, erm, forgot, doh). Was looking for Louise Connolly, I’d met her at the Magic Theatre as well a few times and she was the one who had been championing this night and had found out it was t-girl friendly, turns out she was here, was just getting ready. Louise, and Alison Essex (who live in Kent) find us in a couple of minutes and we go and grab some seats.

Though corsets and skimpy underclothes can make sitting a little difficult and occasionally immodest, but we try We chat, take photo’s, get drinks and circulate, in fact this is the pattern for most of the night.

The bar does start to fill up later, in fact it just about gets to capacity, and a few more T-girls show up, including Claire and her TG partner er, er names, sorry, and the Sissy Princess herself Miss Michaela Marbella, the TG scene has arrived. Ok there wasn’t really more than a dozen of us, but we made up for in costume outrageousness (and height). Nice to have a few t-girls here, but didn’t want too many, I wouldn’t want this to turn into another tranny night (which the Magic Theatre was in danger of).

Do manage to circulate a bit, the camera helps break the ice, ask to take a photo and exchange a few words, getting a little better at this, but still not up to average human level. A few girls are corset designers and the like and I get a couple of cards. Acceptance level appears to be very high, nobody seems to mind us being there and a few (mainly MMM and Debe, but even yours truly once or twice) get pulled into group photo’s. In fact I think the general atmosphere was friendlier than some Tranny clubs I’ve been too, less attitude and testosterone.

Lots of cameras are about and plenty of pictures where taken, no one seems to mind and no one refuses to let me shoot then. I guess all these pictures will be appearing all over Flickr and Facebook and what ever in the next few days. Think I lost the lens cap on my new lens though

Drinks, well you have to don’t you, wine is good, Raspberry Collins is lovely, but too easy to drink but the Cosmopolitan was mearly OK. Prices not outrageous for a trendy central London bar on a Saturday night. 4 drinks and I’m a bit wobbly, glad I only went with the mild heels. Drink probably affected the memory too.

Later on the entertainment starts. There’s a corset fashion show, looks good but I have bad position and get mostly pictures of people backs. But they are nice backs.

There’s a comedy duo doing the comparing, a little bawdy perhaps, but nowt wrong with that, I enjoyed them (otheres didn’t). They did a little lap dance thingy as well though one girl had a bit of a wardrobe malfunction with her pasties, oops.

Then there was two Burlesque acts, They didn’t have much room to perform or good lights but they managed, good show. The first was Miss Golden Delicious, er I think but I’m not 100% sure, but especially liked the story telling in the 2nd one Burlesque performer Kitten Von Strumpet (again I think) with the Absinthe theme, Burlesque should IMHO have a story or theme, good costumes and music and have a saucy/naughty/teasing atmosphere, perhaps some comedy or social comment as well, it’s a little bit of theatre, not tits out for the lads.

Music comes up after and the dance floor gets going, have a little jig about to, but its getting late. If I have to criticise (what me?) the night it’s the music, the DJ was competent and the music was danceable, but it was all obscure/underground house and dance tracks, all a bit to cool for school, a few tracks more in theme of the night, a few floor fillers and some crowd pleasers wouldn’t of hurt. The Magic Theatre was much better in this respect. No room in this bar for a big live band though.

By 2, I’m flagging, been a long day and didn’t get much sleep before as well, decide to call it a night. Say my good byes and thank Monica, the night’s organiser and head off into the night. It’s a good night out, I’ll be back, next one is February I think and the theme is Dangerous Liaisons.

Was kind of hoping there would be mini cabs, like the WOC, or at least a local mini cab office, can’t see any, so its Shank’s pony to the bus stop at least, Brrrr cold. Head back to Mount Pleasant, stopping for chips in a Kebab shop (hadn’t eaten dinner and the only food available at the bar was crisps, plus they where hot, needed hot). Customers and staff at the Kebab house are friendly. Pass a mini cab office with my chips, decide to continue up the avenue to a bus stop eating them, bad mistake.

No busses seen by the time I’m at Angel, big queue at the bus stop, readout says the bus is 16 minutes away and mini cab office here has another big queue, guess I’ve hit prime bar closing time, everyone wants to get home.

Decide to keep walking, the readout on every bus stop I pass doesn’t seem to be going down much, and the bus will be rammed anyway, I didn’t hold out much hope for powered transport to get home on by then.

Pass several groups of people, wrap coat around me, head down, walk quick, no trouble so far, pass last group I reckon, in Highbury, but they do spot me, exclaiming “it’s a bloke”, walk past fast, they should after me “Hey mate, You’ve got balls” which I guess is a sort of compliment in a weird aort of way.

Get home by 3, cold and very tired, turn to look at the road as I put the key in the lock to see the bus going by. Have hot coffee and cake before going to bed.

Sunday, lie in, scrambled eggs and smoked salmon brunch, do laundry, check camera, 350 pictures to process, yikes, that takes the rest of the day. But I do find the lens cap at the bottom of my bag.