Friday, pay day, Woot!, was (mostly, that corset wasn’t cheap) restrained last month to, so had a few pence burning a hole in my pocket, so rushed into town after work and bought… 3gb of RAM and a new graphics card. Ok not very girly, but the poor old PC has been struggling lately with Warhammer online and the rest, so with a little upgrade I figured it could last another year or so before its totally obsolete. But my PC is so old it still has an AGP port not PCI express, so finding a new graphics card was a challenge, but a shop in Tottenham Court road had a Sapphire one with an ATI 3850 chipset and an AGP interface, must be at least 2 generations more up to date than the one I was using. This is probably the last AGP card anyone will make though.

Deep breath, open case, remove old components, slot in new card and RAM, power up, install drivers and ….

It all worked perfectly! Given the luck I’d been having with PC’s at work recently I was most surprised. Stayed up till nearly two playing games

So the boy had his toys upgraded on Friday, girl wanted her share on Saturday. But up late and shred face shaving by the time I’m ready its gone 12, decide to forgo photo’s, was dressed in jeans, long sweater dress, coat, hat and comfy boots, all black and grey, a red scarf added a splash of colour, but the outfit was hardly something that would go down well on Flickr etc. But it was warm, which was necessary, bloody freezing it was. So out we go, tube to Hammersmith.

But don’t quite get there, jump off at Earl’s Court, had a couple of shops I wanted to look at on the way, plus I was starving, wanted lunch. First call was a fancy dress in shop near Olympia, was still looking for bits and pieces for a dressing up session.

Yeah it was near Olympia, where, funny enough, Erotica 2008 was being held, thought about it for a minute, but nah, kept going to Hammersmith instead.

Find shop, funny little thing it is, packed full of stuff and people, but only find a little choker that will suit one outfit. Pay up, nervously, the shop keeper already had 2 arguments with customers (actually I think she was in the right and they where being arsey) whilst I was there, but she was polite with me.

Hungry now, look at various bar, pubs and cafes but none seem to be right, but eventually find a place call The Fire Station (I guess cause it used to be one?) that ticked the right boxes, looked nice, not too many customers, serves food and has squashy leather sofa’s . Bar maid is cheery, takes my order and gives me the change, not much change, that’s a lot for fish and chips and a glass of wine, turns out the Pinot Grigio I was offered and accepted was the most expensive wine in the place, oops, adding it up I reckon the bar maid actually knocked about 40p off the bill. Note to self, read wine list before ordering. Food turns up quickly, and it’s rather nice, so is the expensive wine. Over all pleasant place, good service and food and no problems from the other customers.

Reason for Hammersmith was well I hadn’t been here for a while and it does have a good range of er rather cheaper shops. But don’t seem to be able to find what I need, see something nice then realise I have something similar already,. Perhaps I just have too many clothes? Even try TK Max, the store I can’t buy anything in, oh what lovely black denim biker jacket, designer? Big reduction on original price too, want, but they only have it in small and extra small, try it on just in case, but I can’t zip it up oh well. Also find a great snowboarding jacket for Ian, top spec, big reduction, looks good and they only have X Large get the TK Max duck again.

Do find sumut eventually, a hair accessory in Claire’s, but that’s all, get on tube Shepherds Bush.

Reason for coming here, well wander around the market and go to Peacocks (the only cheepy place Hammersmith doesn’t appear to have), but neither have what I’m looking for. Rubbish at shopping today, even fail to get stamps in Superdrug (they had run out).

Whilst in Shepherds Bush you can’t help noticing that big new building, you know that slightly greeny coloured one with the large Westfield sign on it, London’s newest and largest shopping centre (heard it was the largest city centre shopping mall in Europe?) . Wasn’t actually planning to go there, well I was a week ago, to meet someone for lunch, but she couldn’t make it (hope the laser went well Stephanie), so was putting off going there until she was ready, but oh sod it I’m in the area, there are still a few things I want and its probably warm inside.

Big isn’t it, same sort of size as Bluewater. Crowded to, but there’s enough space for it not to be over crowded. Of course the first thing I notice is the roof….

Me and roofs again, yeah I’m weird, but I like the geometry. Do a couple a laps, one each level and a wander around the upmarket Village section. The Village is a little empty not all the stores are complete, but the main mall has pretty much everything you would expect, and a few you wouldn’t, inc a some small hosiery and makeup specialists (inc a standalone MAC).

Finally manage to break into the shopping mood with a leatherish jacket and skirt from H&M, then get a couple of pairs of holdups, a couple of tee shirts, a CD and those stamps.

Not many good areas for photo’s though, no useful ledges and the like to rest the camera on. Eventually find a quiet bit in House of Fraser to take a couple of pics

Right have the shopping now, well most of it anyway, home time, about 7 by now, bit hungry, but even though there’s loads of nice looking places to eat, not just your usual mall fast food, after that big lunch I have to think about the waist line and will have to leave them for another day (with company perhaps?) .

Overall it’s a nice shopping mall, actually think its better than Brent Cross, Lakeside or Bluewater and less of a trek (for me anyway), if you are going to London for a shop, Westfield is well worth a visit.

Also can’t think of any negative reactions to me, shop and mall staff where all polite and helpful and the shoppers barely gave me a 2nd glance (though I was dressed very down and hiding under a hat). Actually come to think of it, I didn’t get a bad reaction I could detect all day

Tube home, open bottle of wine, feet up, fire on. Try new skirt and jacket, fit well, well they should, went for bigger sizes than usual, H&M fit is usually small (my excuse). Use this outfit for my posed pic of the day.

On call, bah, kept up all night Monday and Tuesday due to a hardware failure.

Weekend, still have to be on the end of a phone, but can escape a bit on Saturday. I’ve said I would go to a Burlesque night called Corsets and Diamonds in a couple of weeks, but needed an outfit (well not so much as needed as wanted ) and I’d been good this month and the bank balance was looking fine, so a quick(ish) Camden Shopping trip was in order.

Slice face shaving hair needs a wash too. Dress, mini is very mini, top is very thin, but add leggings and a coat makes it all more practical and warmer. It doesn’t seem to matter how short a skirt is worn with leggings, they manage to de-tart anything.

Try to take a few photo’s but the flashes aren’t firing, nearly flat batteries are found to be the cause, can’t be bothered to wait for them to charge so head out without any pictures.

Train to Camden, by the time I’m there it’s lunch time Have a not unpleasant lunch in the Hawley arms, famous celeb (well Amy Winehouse anyway) hangout, remember this place after seeing it mentioned in the paper midweek, it got damaged in the Camden fire and has only just reopened. No celebs in sight (apart from a couple of photos on the wall), but the food was fine and the service smiley.

Onto the market then, theme for the burlesque night was “Moulin Rouge” so I felt a corset was in order. Find a gorgeous burgundy silk, satin and black lace over bust corset in Burleska, probably my favourite corset place in the market. The 28″ fits well, can be done up properly without to much pain. Really would prefer to fit into a 26″ though add a matching short lacy skirt to complete the outfit. Not sure what to do with the footwear though don’t think any of my current boots or shoes will work, also being over bust it’s designed to push up the cleavage, which is a problem if you haven’t got one. Reckon if I wear my lace top underneath it will cover up my forms well enough.

Carry on around the market looking for accessories and other bits, also plan to have a dressing up session in a couple of weeks too, those costumes I’ve been buying need wearing and needed a few props for them to. Wandering around the market does tend to take me into places simply cause I like the music they have on though, so it takes a while

Step out of the Market to Chalk Farm road, the Escapade fancy dress shop has relocated up here. Wow big new place, lots of costumes Just resist a Star Wars Padme costume (the white cat suit from Attack of the Clones ) but do end up with a bull whip and an Amy Winehouse beehive wig for a laugh (guess going to the Hawley arms had an effect ;)). The bullwhip is just a cheap plastic thing for Indiana Jones costumes, I actually want it for my Cat Woman one, though hers is a black whip and Indy’s is brown, well I still have some spray paint.

Back though the markets heading back towards the centre of Camden, the Burlesque outfit really could do with gloves, long ones, but can’t find any in a matching colour, black might do, but really they would be better in burgundy. Whilst looking for gloves in one of the gothic places spot a skirt, it’s black and burgundy, very long, wide, tiered with lots of lace details, and a perfect match for the corset, identical material probably, it’s a bit special really. Well I have to try it, smallest size they have is still a little large but it has draw string to tighten it up. Step out of the changing booth and ask the opinion shop guy and a girl who just happened to be their, they both agree it really works with the corset. I buy. Well it solves the shoe problem anyway, it’s so long it doesn’t matter what’s on my feet, they can’t be seen. Outfit is a bit more gothic though now, not strictly “Moulin Rouge”, hope that’s OK.

Still search a few more shops, do get some black long gloves in the end, fingerless with laces, not perfect, maybe I can replace the black laces with burgundy ones. Think about it.

Been good so far, no comments very few looks, a few pleasant interactions, just drifting along with the crowd, but tranny power appears to be fading (being weighed down with shopping can do this), get a few calls from market traders calling me over to see their wares, they address me as lady, but there’s something mocking in their tone and I’m getting more looks now to, I think, perhaps I’m just getting paranoid.

Run out of gothy shops by now, do need food for the evening, but decide to have a quick feet up first. Stop in 55, studenty cocktail place I visited a while ago. It’s deserted, dunno why, perhaps cause it’s a little off the main street, but its reasonably priced and they really do put care into the drinks. Put feet up in a corner with a glass of wine and read a book for a while. Take a pic, but there’s enough of these me in bars pics around at the mo, so I didn’t post it.

Refreshed, it’s of to Sainsbury’s for a trolly dash, am more careful with the wine this time. Seem to have to wait ages for a train home, and when I get to my station there’s footy fans all about But its almost dark and get home without a fuss.

After the batteries charge have my little photo shoot, try illuminating the background with gelled SB600s, using both I can cover most of it, but there’s some overspill onto me, perhaps I’ll try and use some card to stop that next time.

Funny the main flash doesn’t seem to fire if I get to close, never see that happen before. For the 2nd batch of shots I lost the leggings for thin tights, boots for shoes, take coat off and add a little bling. Lower the camera a bit to. Yeah it’s a tarty attention seeking look, but my flickr streams been a bit frumpy recently…

Didn’t actually have any intention of going out like that, but as the evening progressed (sorting the pics out, playing Warhammer online, surfing the web and just general nerdy noodling) the wine bottle got emptier giving me a bit of false courage, and with that a a need for chocolate got me out of the flat again, ankle boots instead those painful shoes and a leather jacket for warmth but still an acre of leg on show. Bit daft, but it was only a dash to the off license for some Minstrels. No hassle though, guy in the offy wasn’t impressed and I got just the basic formatlites (he is usually more chatty to Ian), but the traffic stopped immediately for me on the zebra crossing

And work didn’t call again, phew.

No post last week, because no Helena time went on a Freestyle snowboarding course on the 1st of November instead, it all went, er, OK I guess, I was easily the weakest rider in the group though which didn’t help. Did manage to 50/50 the rails and ride the kicker, most of the time, did have a number of falls though, I washed out on landing from the kicker a number of times, slamming hard. Too hard, I had to give up before the end of the session and didn’t want to sit down for half an hour afterwards. Well in snowboarding, if you aren’t falling over you aren’t trying hard enough did learn a bit though, its all about progression. Did plan to do Helena on Sunday after, but was just too sore and didn’t feel up to it, so spent a whole weekend en homme, first time I’d done that for a while.

So by the time this weekend rolled around I nearly ran out of work on Friday afternoon, with a smile on my face anticipating a whole girly weekend. Leaving work on Friday is my favourite times of the week, there’s so much anticipation and possibility for the forthcoming 2 days of freedom. Often the actual reality doesn’t meet the expectations, but its just the thought of what could happen that cheers me up.

Saturday, bit slow to get ready but the makeup seems to go one easily, perhaps its cause the face has had a bit of a rest, dress in simply black jeans and top, with a red leather(ish) jacket. All the garments are size 12 (and Primark size 12) and are feeling a bit to tight really am having a problem controlling the weight at the moment.

Had my old favourite studded belt on for the photo’s, I bent over to adjust a light and it snapped!! You fat pig. Changed into another belt and some lower heeled tan boots before going out, adding a hat, scarf as well, weather was manky. Tried to find some gloves, found 4 single gloves in different colours, no pairs

Out at 11ish into the drizzle, that’s going to frizz my hair isn’t it. Get a crowded bus to Dalston, spot nice looking pub/bar/kitchen thingy near Newington Green on the way. A wander around the shops in Dalston nets some new gloves in Peacocks and some berry (purple really) opaque tights in New Look. Security Guard in Peacocks might of complemented me as I left. Reason for coming hear was actually go to PriceLess, they have some nice boots on the website and I though I’d check them in store. But they don’t have any size 9’s, that branch never seems to, dunno why I go there.

By the time I’m done with the shops it’s 10 past lunch time and the rain is coming down a bit, decide to walk back to that pub I spotted earlier, The Edinburgh Cellars. Rain gets heavier and heavier, bit of a downpour by now, even with a hat and brolly I’m a bit bedraggled by the time I get there. Inside and its pleasant and airy, not too many people and no TV (Until I got there ;)). There appeared to be an Arsenal match going on and most of the other places I passed had large groups of people in red shirts glued to the plasmas. Order food, find a nice squashy sofa in the corner of the big dinning room and settle in with my book and a glass of wine. Food arrives quickly, it’s hot and tasty, but not exactly haute cuisine, a fish finger sandwich is just that, when you order one of those at somewhere a bit more upmarket they are trying to be a bit ironic and you actually get the likes of fish goujons on ciabatta bread with rocket, but not here, hot bright orange old fashioned fish fingers (like mother used to get from the freezer) in a burger bun Fills me up nicely.

As I finish my food a cat walks up to me and demands a fuss, I oblige of course, try to get a picture, winning eventually (I bribed it with some Tartar sauce) but cat wants to play with my camera’s strap most of the time.

As the barmaid clears my plates and fetches me another glass of wine (good service, calls me “Love” too :)) I ask the cat’s name, it turns out to be “Lady”, well isn’t she just, the barmaid explains the cat actually lives in the flat upstairs and shouldn’t be down here and she’s just snuck out (cats always want to be on the other side of a door). Lady gets bored with me eventually and wanders off, barmaid catches her and carries her back upstairs. There should be more cats in pubs and bars if you ask me.

Two chapters of the book, fish fingers, chunky chips, two glasses of wine and the rain has stopped lovely way to spend lunch, but have to be getting on. Sun is shinning a bit now, everything is looks pretty when its all still damp from the rain.

Have the nice warm feeling by now, food, wine, cat, book sunshine and acceptance all coming together, so decide to walk to Holloway, in the sun, kicking through leaves and smiling to myself.

But by the time I’m on Holloway road, things are looking a bit dodgier, it looks like the football has finished and the red shirts are pouring out of the Stadium onto Holloway road looking for beer and fast food. Head down, walk quickly, I’m not overdressed, fairly androgynous in fact, so hope fully won’t attract attention. Get to my next destination with no hassle, phew. And we are in PriceLess again but the Holloway branch isn’t like most PriceLess’s, it seems to operate like a regular shoe shop, they don’t just have the entire stock on racks in store, there’s just samples on display and you have to ask if they have your size, but they often do have size 9’s. And they do today, end up with a pair of coyboyish tan boots and a pair of grey suede (ish) shoe boots (shoots?). Yey, disapointing first half, but in the 2nd, two pairs in the back of the bag, result, why do people watch football when they can go shoe shopping?

Have several other things todo, but decide to quickly dash home to drop off the shopping. Have to run the gauntlet though, by now the red shirts where outside virtually every pub smoking, drinking and talking about balls and stuff. Manage to pass a few groups without attracting attention, but hear “That’s a Bloke” as I get to another group, damm except some follow-up attention as I walk past, but just then a coach passes, full of, I assume, supporters of the other team (Manchester?) and the pub crowd felt the need to jeer them far more than jeer me, so I slip away without another word, I guess Arsenal won then.

Closer to home another man stops me in the street,. But he just was asking directions, I oblige, he thanks me and gives me a thumbs up. Back home, drop off shopping, tidy slap and hair, change into new boots and head to the tube station. Next stop is the London Transgendered Film Festival at the Ritzy Cinema in Brixton. Brixton, it has a reputation doesn’t it, so brave? Dunno, might be, never been there in girl mode before, so a bit apprehensive. Doesn’t help that the Cinema’s address is Coldharbour Lane, or Crackharbour lane as it’s sometimes known… yikes. Not my first choice of location for a TG film festival if you ask me.

Out the tube and into Brixton, was nearly dark by now, so that helped the confidence a bit, and I still had my hat on to hide under. Turn down Electric Avenue, through the market as it seemed the right way to go.

Electric avenue, another of those places I didn’t know was actually a real place (in case any ypung people reading don;t realise what I’m on about, I’m referring to an old song by Eddie Grant here) until one day, a few years back I found it by accident wandering though Brixton. Left turn down by the railway arches, and then onto Coldharbour lane, so far so good. Turn right to where I think the cinema is and follow the road up, up right to the end, the cinema is practically on the main street, oh, worried about nothing again. Buy my ticket, get popcorn and wait till the films start. Do spot a few faces I’ve seen before at the Picnic for Change, does seem to be the FTM/Genderqueer/Press for change trans activist type people here, its not the Way-out club type crowd. In fact I appear to be the only obviously MTF person about (if the other women about where TG then they pass really well) As usual, unsociable girl sits alone, waiting for the screen to be opened.

The seats fill up, not a big screen but I estimate about 85% full, good turn out if you ask me, spot another couple of MTF, but it’s not a great showing from our side of the spectrum really:(

I only stay for the first part of the program, a number of short films. 7 I think, all but 1 where worth watching if you ask me, I especially like the spoof 50’s style information film on TG “Playing with Gender” and the positivity in the San Francisco Trans march film  ”Thorn in your side”, the film about Intersexed “One in two Thousand” was saddening and postiver in a way and the description of some of the procedures that have been done to them to make them “normal” was harrowing. A film about the two sprit native American tradition was interesting, if a little long. The only bad one of the bunch was, I think, called “Dive”, a very “arty” weird sort of journey through a tunnel with a male? face superimposed on the walls using a cheap special effect. No dialogue and as far as I could see, no point (or one I didn’t get) it and even though it was rather short, it was still tedious.

Left before the main feature (well there was an hour gap before it started anyway). Showed a bit of support I hope and although the films where interesting, but I needed something a bit lighter. Head back out into the night.

Nice cinema, indie I guess. Back on the tube, not a peep, Brixton proved far tolerant than I thought it would, OK it was a quick dash through after dark, but I really was worried about nothing. Tube to Angel

Decided I wanted to try that comedy club near Angel I missed a few weeks ago, get there in plenty of time, to much time in fact, the bar the club is in did food, but somehow don’t fancy that, so grab a veggie burrito and an interesting looking (hadn’t been there before) little Mexican, Mucho Mas nearby. The Burrito is better than I though it would be, pretty darn good in fact and the medium sauce is spicy enough, slightly pricy though since its really only one step up from a takeaway. Burrito, popcorn and a fish finger sandwich in one day! Especially a day I snapped a belt, wibble, I’m really am weak aren’t I.

Back to the Bar, with a flyer for the club I’d been given, says two for one entry on it, well I’m just one but they let me in half price anyway Get a drink and find a seat. Am not directed to the front like the last comedy club I went too (sit anywear you likr they said) , so decide to hide a few rows back in the dark. Didn’t want the attention I could end up getting up the front.

The show comprises of 3 turns and a compare, Matt Green, who mostly quizzes the audience, glad I didn’t sit in the front row. First act is Carl Donnelly, 20 something bloke, ramblly stories about young men doing stupid things, funny yes, not exactly side splitting though, laid back perhaps (apparently this is how he gets described in the listings mags). Can only relate to some of the material though, never was any good a being a bit of a lad. 2nd was Danielle Ward, again personal stories, but a little closer to the knuckle than Carl, and very much a female angle on things, again can’t relate to all of it, not so good at being a girl either. Funny though. Last act was Gary Delaney, and he told jokes, yes jokes, a comic telling jokes, is that still allowed Fast one liners was his forte and he knew how to tell em, actually turned out to be the funniest act of the night. Material went decidedly un PC for a bit, got the biggest laughs of the night (inc from me, even at the Tranny joke). Nobody got on stage and snogged a marine though.

Not a bad night out, a good laugh is always a tonic. Though I got a few of those looks, people in the bar gave me no trouble (it was a fairly mixed crowd, not just Islington trendy liberals) and the staff where friendly. Even the row of very large, bullet headed blokes out on a stag do in the row in front of me didn’t say a thing.

There was a disco, DJ and reduced price drinks after the show, but decided to call it a night and walked home. Crowds where still in force outside Islington’s many bars and pubs, its not usually any trouble down here, but as pass one group a man shouts “Geezer Geezer Geezer” at me and reaches out and touched my arm as I pass, as if to show who he is shouting at (like anyone else doesn’t realise. He repeats his little chant, but I walk off. Wanker, doesn’t put me a good mood, buy some chocolate to help calm down. Perhaps some of the knuckle draggers from the football where still hanging around making a night of it

Home, phew, sort out the pictures and retire, long day.

Sunday, well since last weekend was all boy, lets make this one all girl. A lie in and whats seems like spend ages working out what to wear (doesn’t look like it does it) takes up time. End up with those berry tights, black skirt and sweater, black boots, a body warmer and a scarf. Think those tights are pretty in at the moment, the rest, not really but its Sunday morning, don’t want to look like I’m trying to hard. It’s 11 before I’m ready, time to go out, skip photo’s.

Bus to West End and a scoot around a few shops, in Zavvi, what used to be the big Virgin mega store near Tottenham court road, I spot an interesting mannequin.

It’s a Witch Hunter from Warhammer online. Interesting cause I’m playing it at the mo, have a 23rd level High Elf Sword Master. I usually play DPS classes but an trying tanking for a change. The last sentence will be meaningless if you don’t play MMORPG.

I guess the camera’s flash got me noticed, I’m approached by a youngish man, shop staff I guess by his ID tag on a lanyard, oops, photo’s not allowed? But then he asks “Are you a man” double oops I mumble something non committal and turn away, he replies “Sorry I wasn’t trying to be funny or anything and I think you look good” . That was a bit odd, a compliment? Was he just curious, an admirer, TG? I dunno. He leaves me alone after that. I still don’t really ever now how to react in situations like that.

Put that down to experience and continue around the shops, get a couple more books in Forbidden Planet as I’m near the end of my current one and drift thoug covent garden towards Leicester square via China town.

Film time again I think, hrmm colleague at work said he wasn’t impressed by Quantum of Solace, so look at others, Burn After Reading, Coen brothers comedy, on at the Empire, yeah that will do, hour till its on, so lunch.

Try to be a bit more diet conscious this time, get a pot of Lentil Dahl soup from EAT. And nice it is too. Still a bit of time so wander through the Trocadero (there again, didn’t take photo’s this time), find a studded belt in Claire’s Accessories to replace the one I broke and get some pick an mix as it’s cheaper here than in the pictures.

Film isn’t bad, not really laugh out loud funny, and a bit of a slow burn before it goes crazy towards the end. Brad Pitt is good as the not to bright personal Trainer and Tilda Switon and John Malkovich are quite scary. Not a bad film really, but not a classic.

Still have a few hours to waster after the film finishes, but its raining so more shopping doesn’t appeal so wander around Soho for a bit looking for somewhere to lurk for the rest of the afternoon.

End up in Revolution again, well its quiet, has squashy sofa’s and booze, no cat though, oh well I’ll survive. Continue with the book.

While a way an hour or so, then its time to go home, supermarket, nah get a takeaway, me bad. Bus crawls home, through the dark and the rain, grab my takeaway and sidle home. Food, Web, photo’s, Top Gear and finish with a soak in the tub.

Did quite a few things in the girl time, and had a few nice moments, but getting clocked and heckled on the street seems to be affecting me more these days, dunno why, perhaps I think I should be better at this by now or something, or just used to it.

On call all next week, Oh joy.