Long weekend, weee, out of work early on Friday, weee, trains cancelled all over the place, not weee Get home eventually with a few extra photographic bit and pieces (well it was pay day on Thursday).

Saturday, sees to take an age to get ready, not helped by a complete outfit rethink, problems with the face (I hate my skin ) and over long photo session trying to make self not look totally appalling (only way appears to be nuking my face with lots of soft light).

Outfit, a little eccentric perhaps and shortish shirt and fishnets is never the best choice for not being noticed, but it sort of is vaguely in fashion, ruffled skirt and those sort of boots are every at the mo and military style jacket that are supposed to be up and comming but perhaps the fashion isn’t to wear all of them together. Tied a little bit of black ribbon in a bow around my neck, a bit twee perhaps, but I think it worked.

Tube to Paddington, just manage to grab a snack and drink for the journey and it’s on the train. Destination was Oxford, why, well, just because I hadn’t ever been there before, and it wasn’t that far away and it could be interesting, so why not, something different. Odd outfit and different town, slight risk but I figured it would be a fairly accepting sort of place what with all the academics, students and tourists, but then I remembered it wasn’t term time.

Journey uneventful, might have been noticed and discussed, can’t be sure, but generally no problem and the train rolls into Oxford around 2, grab a map from the tourist information stand and wander towards the town (City?) centre. Sun is shinning and it’s all rather pleasant, it’s gone lunch time, so have a look at a few places to eat, but its all chains I’ve visited before, nothing seems to appeal, keep going.

Hit the shops before I get to the touristy bits, had a couple of things I wanted, but a chance look around Bay netted a very cute white leather (synthetic, cheap) jacket, me a sucker for jackets as usual. M&S and I find the black satin shirt I was looking for and a waist belt to go with, it looks like the theatre night next week is a go, albeit with a much reduced group, so I wanted something a little more dressy, than usual and that shirt should suit and go with some trousers I already have. M&S staff where very friendly and helpful.

New Look haven’t got the other shirt I want in the right size. Walking towards the shopping centre, things look like they are going a bit down market, but I’m cheap, so it suits and hey they have a big Primark, always worth a look. Nothing much appeals, but as I wander around I hear “That man’s dressed as a woman!”, well, I guess I’ve been clocked then. Think they (female, sounded young and a bit “screechy” and er “Chavy”, I didn’t look) follow me around the store a bit, repeating the phrase a couple of times. I looped around and left the shop, I don’t think they followed me out, heard nothing else. Bit of a downer that, thought I’d been doing OK up to then

Left the shopping centre feeling a bit more self conscious. Still looking for somewhere for lunch though, still can’t find anywhere, but do find the Modern Art Gallery. Worth a quick look? Not really and what’s with modern art museums, no photography? And the ropes in front of the exhibits and the attendants etc all trying to tell you some very simplistic paintings of doors are very important works of art. Guess I just don’t get it, only really clever people can.

All the clever kids at my grammer school went to Cambridge anyway (and I wasn’t one of them), basically because it was much nearer to darkest Lincolnshire. Also a trip to Cambridge also used to be a common Saturday afternoon bike ride (the 100+ motorised sort of bike ride) of mine when I lived out in the sticks, Oxford seems a bit smaller and has a different feel to it, but it’s certainly not unpleasant.

Done with the shops now and still not finding any were I fancy eating in, move on towards the colleges and touristy bits. Which are all quite nice, but sort of stuck in a bit of a time warp of idealised England (Primark, the shopping centre and loud chavy kids being the more common reality). But it’s nice to see and the punting down the river looks fun, might have to try that one day. Just a pleasant amble through the scenery in the sunshine taking photos, which tell the story better than I can

By now I really which I’d brought the big camera with the wide angle, but had decide at last minute to go with the compact, just to save weight. That’s the only real problem with big camera is it’s just to dam big.

After the river I looped around though the old town back to centre, the streets are very quite, almost no traffic, is that normal? But then again looking at the size of the bicycle parks at the station etc, it looks like 2 wheels is the preferred mode of transport around here.

By the time I’m back in town have one of those “everybody is looking at me and talking about me” moments, don’t know what brings them on, not sure they are even real, but they do occur every now and then. Duck into Debenham’s MAC concession and check my makeup to make sure it isn’t that. Feel a bit better after a minute or two preening.

Had enough by now, only really planned a flying visit anyway to take a few snaps and visit the shops anyway, head back to the station, via Staples to by some black card and Velcro tape. Hope to make some simple barn door like things to control the light direction from my speedlights a bit more, to see if I can stop them lighting up the backgrounds to much.

Train back, quiet coach virtually all to myself, get a table fix up slap, read book. Well it was all to myself, bunch of scouse lads get on at Reading (think they had been to the festival). They walk up and down the carriage and one moans “She’s taken a whole table to herself” before finding seats. I would of felt more guilty about taking up the space if they weren’t talking loudly, drinking and making phone calls in the quiet coach and did actually pay for their tickets (gave a sob story about losing their credit cards, but they still had cash for beer). The ticket inspector told them to get out at Slough.

Back to Paddington, bit late for lunch now, early evening meal? But again nowt in the station looked right, I wanted to sit down somewhere comfortable with a glass of wine and eat, not fast food or Yo Sushi for the nth time. Walk out the station and head in the rough direction of home, on the lookout for someplace appealing, perhaps my increased self consciousness and lack of courage but a conflicting desire to eat somewhere “different” was limiting me somewhat. End up on Marylebone high street, its nice there, and remember a Veggie restaurant I’d seen and liked the look of a couple of months ago. Eat and two Veg served up a respectable glass of wine and veggie burger, filled the gap. GU’s Falafel burger is still the best in town though IMHO.

Refuelled its time to go home, walk down towards Euston, interesting building wants to be photographed first though.

Grab supplies at the station and tube home. Since I got back to London, I feel less conspicuous, do London people care less or is it just the fact I’m on home turf I feel safer (or perhaps as the light is going, they can’t see me as well). But I do get clocked good on the way back from the tube. Local tart cat who sits outside his house opposite the park spots me and walks right up demanding a fuss, I oblige of course. I always stroke this cat when I see him while in Ian mode, but it seems he can recognise me even in Helena mode. Wonder if many humans can do that?

Sunday, back to Ian, do laundry and time to finally get around watching the rest of the 4400 season 4. Interesting little series, though set in the US, it sort of feels more Canadian in a hard to describe way, its more low key and less glam than an average US show I guess, plus various more shades of grey, in the plot and the weather. They do seem to finally tie up the plot threads and end it all in a fairly satisfactory way. I like long running convoluted plot threads in TV shows, but hate it when the show gets cancelled before they are able to resolve them satisfactory.

Monday bank holiday, bit of a lie in (well all that work watching the DVDs the night before you see), lazy change and makeup into a far more casual (and hopefully non attention seeking) outfit and far to long taking pictures means its gone 12 before I get out

After Saturday’s “excitement” its just going to be a lazy sort of day, have to meet someone later, but have a few hours to kill. Bus to the Brunswick centre first, just to check the shops, their branch of new New Look doesn’t have that shirt in my size either, but I’m not sure I want it now. Hobbs have satin shirts too, really bright red and a dark pink ones, look more fitted than the M&S ones, but at nearly 70 quid, er not today. Buy some shoe gel pads in Super Drug, feet are slopping around in these boots and need some grip (hadn’t worn this pair for a while, so forgot what they where like). Simple, tasty, if slightly greasy, plate of veggie noodles in Hair and Tortoise does for lunch.

Still plenty of time to waste so head towards the West End. That belt is a pain it doesn’t want to stay put, either riding up or nearly falling off, not a good choice. The fountain in Russell Square gardens warrants a photograph, a high shutter speed freezes the motion making the bubbly water appear to hang in space.

Do have big camera with me this time, well the later appointment is photo related, so I though I better bring it. And since I have it with me, anything remotely interesting gets snapped today.

Most of the camera shops around the British Museum are closed for the bank holiday, that makes my debit card is happy, OK you, no photographic more stuff till next month. Then Forbidden Plant, as I’m in the area, but nothing really demands me buy it, guess I’m not in the shopping mood.

Sort of heading for Piccadilly Circus, because later on I have to get to Arnos Grove on the Piccadilly line, but stop of at the Trocaderro first, simply because I like taking photo’s in there. Theme of the days with the photo’s does seem to be available light and wide aperture, get some interesting (well I think they are) shots. Pity there aren’t any Cos players on the Dance Dance machines to shoot though.

Quick stop to check makeup (mostly still on) look at DVD’s in Zavvi (Terminator : Sarah Connor Chronicles any good? Almost buy but, no, still have too many unwatched DVDs at home to work may way through first) and get a new eyeliner in Boots before settling for a long tube ride north.

Cept it doesn’t take as long as the guy on the information desk said, I’m early. Reason the trek out to the frozen north (OMG I’m in zone 4!) was to meet up with Vicky Martin and Diana Stone of Elephant Shelf. Definitely mentioned them before, blues band, used to play a lot in Islington, but nowadays they are play out of town quite a bit (there’s more interest apparently and London venues are a bit hard to get), so I haven’t seen them recently (since Dingwalls in Feb). Reason for meeting up was to talk about photo’s, I’ve shot them before a few times and they liked the photo’s, so they have asked if I could take some more they could use (if they turn out good enough) for their web site and maybe even their new album. I’m more than a bit worried I’ll waste there time though, being a (very) amateur snapper with little or no experience in shooting people (apart from myself), but they seem keen enough, so what the hell.

Text Vicky and she comes to collect me. While I wait for here I do get a couple of looks and a shaven headed guy approaches me, but he just wants to talk to me about Jesus, I sort of wave him off, he doesn’t feel the need to preach to me.

Vicky takes me back to her flat, where I meet her partner Ralph, he’s the guy that does the bands videos, I introduce myself to him as “Ian”, I’m getting confused in my old age. Tis a bit awkward initially, me being a bit useless at talking and all and Vicky has a few things to finish on her PC, flyers for the band and stuff and emails to venues, busy busy busy. I do admire them for following their dream and making the music they love as a life, instead of working at a boring but safe 9-5 and just playing at it on a weekend. Me, the coward, always takes the safe option (99% of the time).

Diana turns up later and we chat a bit, I get to hear some tracks off there new album (not bad ;)) We talk about photo’s they want something casual, unposed shots that shows the bands character and quirky attitude, I’m a bit short of ideas I don’t really know what I’m doing but I suggest a shoot in a pub, it seems to me their natural environment (cause that’s where I seen them play the most), that interests them and they know a suitable pub, but it could be logistically difficult. There suggestion is there local curry house, which is different, but could be good, and quite natural and spontaneous, my only reservation with that is that it lacks a musical connection, so perhaps we could put a violin on the table as well or something.

Their local curry house is the last destination of the night, Vicky and Ralph are regulars and know the manager well, so organising a shoot here could be done. But food first, gawd a 2nd restaurant meal in one day, its lettuce for you all next week. Food is pretty good, portions are large and it’s very reasonable price wise, see why they like it. Naan bread is especially good and the manager gives us desert for free Try a few test shots with the camera, hrrrmmm, do need to get the subjects not to look at the camera if they want unposed and natural. Also if I use a short depth of field, to remember to focus it on peoples faces properly. So I think the pictures might work, and if they don’t we get a good curry anyway.

Say good night and tube home. Oh, not a comment all day, few looks, but mostly just pass by, safe area and bloke with moods look probably helped. It is fun to dress more up and it is fun exploring new places, but that does carry greater risk, matter of finding a balance really I guess, but I do have to step out the comfort zone every now and then.

On call again been OK all week, but that couldn’t last, plus I’d got a bit of a cold, a streaming nose isn’t ideal when you want to coat your face with slap. Managed to get the Boss to let me work from home on Thursday, started work at 7:30 am so I could down tools and go shopping at 4 for stuff for the weekend. Got a background support frame, a proper muslin backdrop, some moisturiser and a straw boater and hockey stick My shopping lists are sometimes a bit unusual.

Saturday, photo shoot time. Cold had subsided a bit, still a bit of a sniffle though. Up early for an extensive defuzz , quick dash to the local shops for kitchen roll (doing makeup is always messy with me) and its on with the costumes. Lara Croft (using the costume I got a couple of weeks ago) first as I reckoned she would suit the least amount of make up, but still managed to get a long mark on my top during the process (told you makeup with me is mesy) it wouldn’t wipe off, just hope it will come out in the wash. Had to shop it out of the pictures. As I was aiming for the rather top heavy look from the early games, went with the E cup forms, boing don’t think I would wear these out anymore, too heavy and noticeable, but they are still fun for dress up. The pistols are pound shop toys painted black. They really should have been silver shouldn’t they. Wore thin tights with it, not exactly in character, but I need to cover up the less than perfect skin on my legs. The whole costume is actually quite comfortable and easy to move in and feels quite nice is as it’s soft and stretchy. Apart from the wig, that’s the “official” Lara Croft wig, but it’s a really cheap and nasty scratchy joke shop quality item, doesn’t fit well and the hair is shinny plain synthetic fibre that tangles very easily.

Shoot was a bit frustrating trying to get the light right, wanted to use a coloured gel to get a bit of atmosphere but that takes a bit of the power out of the lights. Learnt a bit more out about the relationship between shutter/ambient/aperture/flash, basically shutter controls ambient, aperture controls flash, so using a 1/200 shutter (the fastest my camera will sync at) it killed the ambient light and left just the flash illuminating the scene. Took about 40 shots in the end, a number where deemed useable.

Bit of post, mostly brightening and contrast adjustment, colour balance, hide the odd wrinkle (or 10) and remove some straggly hair and blot out the mark on my top. Since it’s a fantasy photo shoot I don’t mind doing a bit of extra post work, it’s not meant to be a recording of reality. Plus the amount I do is nothing compared to a real magazine shoot or advertising work. Also smoothed out the background, since its new it still has creases in it, I think it could do with a wash and iron. But it’s bigger and less creased than the old bed sheet and the frame more secure than the bamboo and duct tape job, so should serve well and the supports can double as light stands.

Next outfit was the school girl look with the skirt and jacket from Brighton New Look. Added the white stay ups, strappy shoes, a lacy, slightly see through blouse last worn at the Magic Theatre and a necktie bow adapted from a hair accessory. Tried the straw boater I mentioned above with it, but decided that didn’t work. Changed to “Sandy B” MAC lippy and the blonde Barbie wig the with pony tail for extra cuteness. Think it all looks nice and again, it’s actually an easy outfit to wear, only problem is the skirt sits on the hips when I think it would look better at the waist. Tried a little tomato ketchup on the hockey stick to make it look bloody for a sort of bad girl St Trinians look, but it didn’t work, was barely visible, made the stick greasy and dripped on the backdrop

Less post required this time (more light on the face, hides wrinkles), apart from the background which got quite a bit of blurring, but I think this helps add some “Pop”, the sharp, in focus figure is lifted off the soft blurry background. BTW a new club is opening at Kings Cross in September, and they are having a school girl theme for their opening night, I think I have my outfit ;)Next costume was a sort of Bettie Page style pinup, out with the What Katie Did undies, seemed stockings, killer (almost literally) platforms, long black wig, collar, gloves and corset. The 26″ corset, I’ve been (mostly) good the last couple of weeks and can get into it a bit better now, but still can’t do it up fully, bit more work to do in the weight department Added a lot more black around the eyes, more blusher on the cheeks and some very red, very shinny red lippy (Rimmel liquid stuff).

Didn’t get many good shots though. Tried to light the back and side with a red light, not entirely successfully. Trouble is I can’t get far enough away from the backdrop to light it separately and still fit in frame in the camera even with a 24mm lens, my studio (er kitchen) is just too small. Could of done with a hair light as well. Perhaps another strobe or two is in order, or mains powered lights. Maybe mains lights, the strobes eat batteries, had to change them twice during the day, and they came out of the flash unit hot! Did post to try and make they more dramatic, boosting the contrast, fixing the face a bit, warming skin tones a touch, this and that, even added a fake vignette to that final shot.

Disappointed in the shots I decided to move to the bedroom to get another of those lying on the bed shots. The last one of these I did has >10,000 views on Flickr and >100 favourites, an utterly ludicrous amount of attention for what is actually a pretty naff photo. Bit awkward to get the camera, tripod and a light stand in the bedroom, but manage to get a few shots.

Again the face needs some work and my pale arms warmed up a touch. Plus a couple of details of the bed and room where tided up a bit. This one seems to have gone down well on Flickr so far, not sure it will be as popular as the last one though.

Was a relief to get out of that corset and those heels, trying to look sexy (emphasise trying) always seems to involve some painful clothing. Next outfit was another Punk one, quite a contrast to the previous outfit. Top was a Ramones tee shirt, distressed with a pair of scissors and fastened back up with safety pins, with a fishnet top and red bra underneath, a collar and various bits of metal bling, some overly ripped fishnet stockings (went a bit too far there), big belt, strippy leg warmers and a pair of New Rock stompy boots I bought ages ago but actually have never worn. Hair back to my usual dirty blonde hair and makeup made a bit more frightful, with a can of Stellar as the finishing touch

I forgot the cartridge belt, doh! Made the pictures more contrasty and sharp, processed the back drops a bit to add some more shadows all try and give them a bit more of an edge. I quite like the results, flickr is less interested though.

Well that’s about it for the photo shoot. Always a learning experience these. One day I’ll get a proper model to shoot, and some more room, and some better lights and and and.. Oh well for now just have to make do with what I’ve got. Hard work though, honest.

For the evening I’d arranged with my boss for someone else to cover work, so I was free to go out. And out I was going, to Club Rub, Oh Errrrr. Had arranged to go with Jessica Hart, but we wheren’t meeting up till gone twelve so had a bit of time to kill. Take off the clothes and just pad around the flat bare foot in bra and pants and the usual wig, actually that felt quite natural and comfortable, being defuzzed sort of helped. Surf a few sites, listen to some music, upload the photo’s from the camera (over 200 taken in RAW, takes a while) drink a bit more, oh dear, where did I manage to put all that booze and not fall over? Well I needed some dutch to go to that club.

Change into the club outfit and redo the slap later on. Use that other shorter black wig I got last week.

Worn that outfit for a different photoshoot a while back, but the black hair and collar change it a bit. Cut a fringe into the wig after the photo. Think dark hair makes me look older though.

Hungry by now, nothing in the fridge appeals, want chips… usually get them after a night out, but what the hell, it will probably to late after this night, put on a coat and go to the local Chicken Shop for a pounds worth of hot fried carbohydrates, in leather bustier, micro skirt and 4′ leather thigh boots. Wore a long leather coat to cover up most of it, so it was wasn’t totally OTT, but still it wasn’t a blending in outfit. Bloke in the Chicken Shop didn’t so much as blink though, well this is London on a Saturday night. Chips hit the spot, but the little trip out made me realise I didn’t want to walk to the tube in those boots, changed into flats, took off the gloves and packed them in rucksack.

Time to go, well here goes nothing, gather up my stuff, back on with the big leather coat and off to the tube. Take the well lit main road, pass a few people on the way, but seem to be ignored, perhaps I’m wearing so much black I’m blending into the night Kings Cross by 12:15 and text Jess

Jess is stylish (and slightly late ;)) as usual, a cab is found surprisingly easily and we are off to the Barbican. Cab driver doesn’t exactly know where the club is so we are dropped off on an empty looking street in the City. But 100m up the road we find the club entrance and descend.

It’s held in cellar bar with a number of little spaces and brick arches, all quite fitting with the club theme, but its rather small, Ok perhaps intimate would be a better word. It’s also pretty full, not capacity, but reasonably full. And full of people suitable dressed, rubber, leather, PVC, uniforms, wigs, costumes, stockings, heels, corsets are all very much present, styles and coverages vary, from the man in a complete rubber cat suit, corset and gas mask (he must have been melting) to the girl in just her bra and pants (and many other with various body parts on show). But its surprising how quickly you acclimatise, after a couple of minutes it actually appears quite normal, slightly un sexy in a weird sort of way. My outfit, OTT for normal life is rather conservative by RUB standards though. There was a theme for the night, film stars, but apart from a few Marilyn’s, a Trinity, some Superheros and a Droog it wasn’t that well supported. After changing into my boots (hard work those laces in poor light) it’s on with the show.

Well there isn’t actually a show, there are a few things going on you can watch though. Kind of loose Jess after a bit, only met up with her again a couple of times briefly, Sorry for not being such good company Jess, but I’m glad you had a good time.

Me I sort of go into wallflower mode, it is a bit much for a sad nerd like me. Do go on the dance floor for a bit, its small but very busy, music isn’t bad, but sort of spend most of the night just people watching. Yeah me just watching the world go by as normal, not taking part Don’t even fancy a drink, after the first glass of wine, its water or Red Bull for the rest of the night. Plus I seem to be having problem keeping cool, my outfit is rather warm, especially after having a dance or two, and the only cooling appears to be a couple of underpowered air conditioning units and a couple of large fans. How do the rubberists manage?

People, say Hi to Karol Cross, swear I see Vanessa Upton (a fairly famous fetish model) in a cop uniform, found out later it was her, wow, I danced within 2 metre of Vanessa, my life is complete have a couple of words with some others who try to engage (special thanks to the girl who pointed out my boot zip was undone and helped me do it up, it was the nearest I got to kinky sex all night) but it was me being difficult as per usual.

Normally by now there would be pictures. But personal cameras are not allowed at Club RUB, to protect anonymity I suppose. Definitely not a tranny club this then, I mean, no cameras, no where near enough mirrors, a full dance floor and no badly dressed lurkers clutching drinks at the edge of the room staring at the girls (apart from me). Plus I feel tall here I’m tower above most people, at the Way Out I’m a short arse. There where a number of TG (or perhaps for some, Cross Dressed is a better word) people there though, but passing (and as Jess mentioned, tucking) wasn’t the aim of the day for many, it was more dress to shock, dress for a fetish for a number, quite a few where free styling too, male face, body and hair, but stockings and heels etc.

I say no camera’s but there was a couple of official photogs in attendance, one had a little booth set up so of course this camera slut went and got her picture taken. Photographer had a D3, I’m envious. Jess got hers done as well, they have been posted on the web site, pics of me are totally awfull, I must not let other people take my photo anymore, they show how I really look, other people photos are better but a number on that site are definitely NSFW.

Actually not being able to hide behind a camera and shoot away sort leaves me with little to do at club and the heat and those heels put a stop to too much dancing. One day I would like to considered a good enough event photographer to shoot at a night like this, I would love to capture some of those people and outfits. One day One day.

Had to call it a night before the bitter end and around 3:30 changed back into flats and coat, said my good byes to a rather happy looking Jess and left. Interesting night, certainly different and nice to step outside of the Tranny scene for a change, but I don’t think I’ll be a regular here or clubs like it, it just isn’t really me.

Outside I get my bearings in the thankfully cool night air, oh, well that tunnel leads to that road which goes up to Angel, so I could walk it home? Didn’t see any taxis about and was back in the flats, so yeah, lets walk, it’s all well lit main roads so should be safe enough. Half way though that big tunnel under the Barbican run into my first bunch of 3 lads, singing away after, I assume, a night on the beer. No reaction, just pass by. I think the black everything and that full strength SEP field I had on in the club was still effect. It continued like that all the way home, no trouble, no attention.

It’s a quite a pleasant walk, a little bit of rain just helps to cool things down and its nice to swish along in the big coat and little skirt. As I walk, think what do I fancy, well after a night out with leather, rubber, loud music and beautiful people, what I think I really want is… a nice cup of tea. Stop in a 24 hour shop near home for some milk. Nice man in shop calls me Miss has he gives me the change.

Home, have my nice cup of tea and a bagel and kick a computer system that needed kicking, whilst still in in leather. By the time I’m out of the outfit, cleaned up and had tidied stuff away it’s getting towards 6am, I’d been up nearly 24 hours, I’m to old for this, bed.

Sunday, should of slept like a log, but am wide awake but 10:30, so sort out the pictures from yesterday, but its nearly 4 before they are all done and posted on Flickr (as I said, some post work to do). Fancy some food, still nowt in the fridge so decide to pop to the local pub for a veggie burger. But the phone rings, work, problem need to sort stuff out Do eventually get my burger later but then its back home calling people, running loads and monitoring reports, its 1am before I can finish, dog tired by now. But I have to be up again before 6 to run another job mange that but can’t hack work, go back to bed.

When I eventually get to work at lunch time find out the problems where caused by a database load that didn’t run on time because someone had accidentally removed it from the cron schedule. Such is life, pleasure and pain.

Saturday, plan for the day was well to get things ready for next weekend, when I would be mostly staying in, yeah that’s not quite right is it, but hey, that’s me really. Ready quite quickly for a change, sort of punky look, little tartan mini like I keep saying is in, fishnets, leather boots, leg warmers worn over the knee, that’s pushing it for daylight, add a few chains and studs to make it a bit more spiky and hopefully less tarty.

Rethink the skirt after the pictures, it’s tiny to begin with, and it was riding up further when I moved, so it could get a little too short when walking about, even for me. Change into a similar but longer one. Weather forecast is for rain and wind, but the sun is shinning, wear a jacket, pack a hat and brolly in case they are right, usual deep breath, and hello, world.

Walk towards Finsbury Park, felt lazy and wanted to take the bus, but they are thin on the ground, so just walk it. Pass two lads walking down the hill, they notice me and burst in to hysterics as they pass that doesn’t make me feel so good. Bit further on I move off main street to a parallel residential side street, feel a bit nervous in that area even in boy mode, people have tried to sell me drugs on a couple of occasions, it’s not great. Sun is on my back now and clouds are few, feeling rather warm, forecast wrong perhaps? Get to the park and cross to the road leading towards Crouch End. Reason for the visit to this area is the wig shops, there’s about 4 or 5 in a little cluster (might of mentioned them before) and I was looking for new hair.

On call next weekend, have a short dispensation for a night out on Saturday, but will have to stay in most of the time, so what to do, take photo’s of course have a number of dressing up outfits that need to be shown off, but they just needs some finishing touches, had a long shopping list to for fill and the first item was black hair. Yeah I’m going to try dark hair for a change, one of the outfits is sort of Bettie Page pinup look and I wanted black hair like hers. End up with two wigs, basically spotted a better one after I had already bought the first, but both where quite cheap (£20-£25) and the quality not actually that bad. They also had human hair ones for 45, hrrmmm might need a return visit.

The shopping success, the sunshine and getting bipped by a white van driver (what is it with white van drivers and mini skirts?) cheered me up a little bit (yes I’m that shallow). Next destination was Holloway, walk via Fonthill road to look at the little fashion shops that cluster down there, a few maybes, but its only a quick glance, see a shop that’s sells large sized shoes, interesting, but it was shut, again another return visit is in order. Pretty smiley girl with an arm band asks if I want to participate in a quick survey on what worries us, well I’m a sucker for a pretty face so agree. She asks a few questions about what worries me living in London, terrorism and knife crime don’t, loneliness and depression does But then she hands me back the form and wishes me on my way, it’s actually a flyer for a big evangelical church on Seven Sisters Road, I really had been suckered, well she was nice any way. Avoid anyone else with an arm band for the rest of the day.

Pop into Peacocks on the way, always worth a look, come out with a little tan leatherette mini, can’t resist that sort of thing. Weather was turning by now, the forecast was right, cloud, wind and rain, so on with the hat. Next stop Shoe Zone for a pair of brown hiking boots.  You see another outfit I plan to wear next week is that Lara Croft one I mentioned before, it comes with some boot cover thingys which look a bit naff, so I decided to get some brown hiking style boots instead to recreate the look from the first couple of games (the boots got higher later on) and Shoe Zone is the cheapest. They only have men’s ones in my size, but I reckon they are fairly unisex (saying that I still don’t try them on in store). Last call in Holloway is a fabric stall in the Nags Head Market for a length of ribbon. Outfit stuff again, another outfit is a School girlish one, with the jacket and skirt I got last week in Brighton, but I needed some sort of neck wear, a tie, hrrmmm, a bow would look better, so got some ribbon just in case I couldn’t find a pre made one.

Rather full bus to Camden, quick trip to the bank then a tour of the shops and markets for more bits. Loads more stuff, little clip on tie (in case the bow didn’t work) and white opaque stay ups with bows for the school girl outfit, white socks for the Lara, Ramones Tee-shirt and studded collar for another punk outfit and a pair of Satin opera gloves for the pinup.

As I’m walking around the top of market, hear music (The Jam I seem to recall) coming from the Horse Hospital, this actually used to have stalls selling antiques and collectables and various junk, but it was closed last time I was up here. Seems to have reopened, and it’s now the Proud Galley, with a exhibition of photo’s of the Sex Pistols. Definitely worth a look. Certainly an interesting collections of photographs, but a Punk Art Gallery? Kind of a contradiction in terms. And what does a punky tranny with a camera do in a punk photograph exhibition, start taking photo’s of course

Hey they have a bar too, the old stables have been converted into Punk themed booths, with some great spots for photo’s (especially with the timer). Snap away with a glass of Chardonnay for company. Happy accident, I love it when a lack of plan comes together.

Think it’s quite a cool spot really, will have to use it as a watering hole on my Camden trips. On the way out a rapper has set up in one of the booths, point the camera at him and he asks for his photo taken because he needs publicity as part of his rap, which was clever, so MC Relentless, here’s your 15 milliseconds of fame.

When I’d got everything I think I can get in Camden its time to eat, still raining so skip the outside food stalls and head towards to GU where I went with Jane a month or two ago, I like their food, it’s a nice bar and its usually quiet at this time. As I walk along I hear loud male voices “I swear that woman used to be a man” and “Geezer Bird”, don’t look, keep walking quickly, the men sounded like alkies, rough and a bit slurred :(  They don’t want to make more of an issue of it than that fortunately. But hey perhaps I pass as a TS now nah can’t possibly, I’m wearing a mini skirt and fishnets in daylight for gawds sake. Round the next corner and I hear a more polite female voice say “Excuse me”, I turn to look, it’s a woman is unlocking her door, “You look hot” she says, smiles and goes into her flat Oh, that doesn’t happen every day, thank you love. Bad comment, Good comment, the balance is restored.

GU, comfy sofa in the corner, a Falafel burger and a rather extravagant Kir Royal works very nicely. A pit stop to fix the hair (the rain is causing it to frizz up) and makeup and its off to the West End. Another bus, less crowded, but it’s not quite the right one, so bit of a walk through Fitzrovia before I get to Oxford Street.  Still raining, have quite a bit of shopping by now and the boots heels are starting to make there presence felt, but spirits are still up. Find a lovely ribbon bow thing I can use in Claire’s and some more legwarmers, but I still need a couple of specialist bits and pieces, very specialist. I find one of them, a ridding crop, in Anne Summers (they really should have a Camden branch), it’s a prop for the pinup look, honest. But the branch on Oxford street doesn’t have the last item I was looking for though, a collar.

You see, in a rather rash moment (wine, I blame the wine) I sort of said on Angels I would go to Club Rub next weekend. I said I would go before I remembered I was on call, and it was my brother’s birthday. Nearly managed to get a excuse not to go (I’m genuinely apprehensive, Club Rub, if you didn’t already know, is a Fetish club). But my boss said he would over my calls for that night (not that its likely I get any calls then, it’s Sunday afternoon the problems usually start) and my brother is off to Portugal that weekend, so no getting out of it, oohh err. What to wear, well I already had an outfit, but felt it needed a leather collar, for a proper S&M look , hence my search. A tour of Ann Summers branches in Soho (avoided the hard core places due to embarrassment) and I found the collar.

That’s everything I think, phew, got a lot of bags by now. But I still needed a ticket for the club, (well I could buy one on the door, but that increases the risk of me bottling it), the web site mentioned Liberation in Covent Garden carried them. And they did, guy in the shop asked if I had been before, said no (true) and he said I would be fine.

Home now I think, well just stop a Forbidden Planet and the Supermarket before bussing home. Picked up some wine at the shop next to my bus stop and finally made it back to the flat, way to much shopping.

Just before I close the door, there’s another “Excuse me”, there’s man in a florescent jacket by the gate, it turns out to be the gas meter reader. He asks about the man who lives in the top flat, er yes I do know him (guess why), I let him in and show him to the meters (I’ve got 2 gas meters for some strange reason). I get crazy gas bills and am never usually in to get my meters read officially, so it needed doing. He’s quite chatty and pleasant, he asks if their has been a change of tenancy in the flat, I say no, I’m a “friend” of the man. Think he twigs after a couple of minutes though, when he said “Your” gas bill might go down as the readings are lower than the estimate, but he is still perfectly pleasant and seems genuinely pleased he actually managed to get this reading. Well that was sort of weird, but also very ordinary really, it was strangely enjoyable being so normal.

Had a vague plan to go somewhere in the evening but since the rain wasn’t letting up, I put a DVD in, feet up and opened the wine instead.

Sunday, sort the photo’s out, laundrette run and go and see my brother and his family for lunch. I take them out to a local bar/ restaurant and give him his birthday present, a Holga camera (picked up in Camden whilst I was accessory shopping), the sort of a random gimmicky present we give each other as we never know what to really buy  (he doesn’t know what I really like). My angelic (looking) three and a half year old nephew goes off on one in the restaurant though, decides he doesn’t like pasta any more (normally his favourite) and won’t eat, oh, well try to calm him down and feed him. My brother calls me a PUNK, Professional Uncle No Kids, bit of a coincidence. Wonder how he would react if he knew I was a PLANK (ProffesionaL Auntie No Kids) yesterday, but manage to keep my mouth shut.

Next weekend, might be different…

Well it nearly did for me, but made it in the end. Saturday, up at 5, far to early and try for a quickish change, makeup doesn’t go well and end up using to much powder and it all goes dry and heavy, so I look even more crap than usual. Black off the shoulder number, brown shorts, black cropped leggings, brown belt, hrrmm the shorts weren’t working, swap them for a brown mini that is a slightly better match for the belt, better and the leggings should keep me modest.

Used a fan to blow the hair around and a yellow orange gel on the main flash to try and get a sort of golden look. Not bad, couple of wrinkles had to be er edited out a bit though Out the house by 8 something, reason for all the rush is its Brighton Pride and I want to be there for 11 for the parade. Weather isn’t looking pretty as I walk to the station. Tube to Victoria, get there around 9, earlier than expected, make’s a change. Had sort of made a loose plan to meet with some others from Roses forum for the 10 train from Victoria, after a loop around the shops and grabbing some supplies, I texted Christina to see if she was around (met Christina at the picnic a couple of weeks ago) she was, we found each other and decided to see if we could get the half nine train instead. Though we did manage to get on the train, it was probably a bit of a mistake, packed, standing room only, and not even much standing room. Sorry I wasn’t much of a conversationist on the train Christina

It’s grey and raining in Brighton We walk down the will with the crowds from the station, we are still a bit early for the parade so I drag Christina to New Look first. I had spotted a jacket in a local branch mid week and wanted to try it on in girl mode. Size 14 just fits (bit tight, but they didn’t have a 16) , shoulders are always a problem with tailored stuff, pick up a matching skirt to go with it. Both could be described as Schoolgirl-ish , the jacket is stripy and has a couple of badges on it (one like my old Prefect Badge from 6th form, cept it says “Perfect” ) and the skirt is pleated tiered Tartan with some mesh trim. Not exactly everyday wear but it’s very cute and there might be a night out in the near future that will suit it. Have seen quite a bit of this stuff in the stores just recently, it might be a popular look in late summer/autumn .

But the time we get to the seafront the wind and rain had picked up, it was actually pretty nasty now and a bit cold, we struggled with our brollies, the wind inverting them a couple of time We find a spot in the road to watch just before the parade starts, brolly is put away and the camera comes out

The parade seemed a little shorter than last year and the crowds down (also a different route?), but it was pretty obvious why, bloody weather! It was a world away from last year’s scorcher. But the marchers didn’t let it get to them though and spirits where high, costumes bright, music loud and people energetic and friendly. Tried to get pictures, rain on the camera didn’t help, but the biggest problem was my cack handedness, shutter speed was to low on many of them and quite a few are blurry Big fancy camera but a stupid photographer means some pretty rubbish pictures, all gear and no idea Shooting live events where things move fast and are a bit unpredictable is quite an art, still have a huge amount to learn.

By the end of the parade everyone is pretty wet and cold, I’m almost shivering, overly skimpy outfit didn’t help, Christina is in more sensible denim jeans and jacket and fares better. We retire to a nearby bar to dry out and warm up. Fair bit of slap has fallen off my face, have to make repairs, manage to patch it up a bit but look even more crap for the rest of the day. Camera got a bit wet to, needs to be dried off, it’s not a weather sealed model (the more expensive Pro ones are) but a bit of rain doesn’t seem to have done it any harm.

We move on to another bar, the Amsterdam, as a couple of girls on Roses had mentioned they would be there, but they aren’t, another drink then I guess. Drier and warmer now, and the rain has stopped we decide to head towards Preston Park, where there parade finishes and the rest of the festivities are. Hungry now though, so stop to pick up some chips from Harry Ramsden’s on the way. Walking up the street, we bump into Penny and Philippa, the girls who we where going to meet in the bar!

I don’t quite know the way to the park, but Christina does, and even if she didn’t, we could of just let the crowds sweep us along, its pretty busy. The mood is jovial, especially now the rain has stopped, many are dressed up for the occasion, and there’s quite a mix of people gay straight, trans (OK not so many of those), drag, young, olds all sorts. Grab some pics on the way, again, many people are happy to pose, the big SLR effect at work, people think you’re a pro, trouble is a lot of the photos come out a bit cack again

Park looked busy, as busy as last year, not sure of the wisdom of trying to herd everyone through small gates into it. Though it would be a quagmire after that rain but it was good underfoot. The next planned meet up was at 2:45ish in the woman’s performance tent to see the Pretty Route play, it’s on the other side of the park, but we get there in plenty of time. To much time in fact, so I kind of dessert Christina and have a look around. Sorry Christina, hope you managed to hook up with Debbie and had a good day, nice to meet you again.

Spent a bit of time in the Revenge Cabaret Tent before the Pretty Route came on, saw a couple of more than a bit camp and chessy drag queen acts belting out a few old faves (singing not lip syncing) and its all rather jolly, the crowd (inc me) gets into it waving and clapping and singing along.

Back to the woman’s performance tent, meet up with a few more, there’s Chrissy, Laura’s friend and Denise and a few others. Sneak my way into the tent and bag a spot up front, right in front of a speaker, I don’t mind a bit of volume The band are on good form and get a bit more time to play than London Pride. The performance seems to go down well.

Say a few hellos to people I sort of recognise and go for a loop around the park. Its getting very busy by now, its hard to move in some places, the sun is starting to peak through the clouds too. Revisit the Cabaret tent, two girls are doing Abba numbers, join the crowd for a sing along, its all silly fun and I actually really enjoy it see another band in the performance tent, Eddie Berlitz, yeah, not bad, not bad at all, watch some line dancing in another and generally just wander around the other stalls. OK too crowded by now, the queues for food, drink and the loos are all horrendous, so don’t both with any. Last batch of pictures.

Decide to call it a day, I’m sure the party went on into the early hours, but I’d had enough, walk back to the station, stopping for snacks and a cold drink on the way (cheaper and easier than in the park). Newsagent might of called me “Sir”, but apart from that, been a good day reaction wise, being dressed in fairly plain brown and black in a sea of exotic people I didn’t really attract attention.

Back at the station decide not to rush onto the train leaving in 2 minutes (learnt from that mistake) instead bio break and get supplies, run into Penny and Philippa again and get on a train around 6 with plenty of time to get a good seat.

Back to London, tube home, takeaway, early night.

After the parade I was in half a mind just to turn around and go home, glad I didn’t. Have to say, Brighton pride is much better than London Pride, even in the rain.