Well it the first Magic Theatre event at the Rivloi Ballroom was a big enough success for them to run another, the Magic Theatre Act II, so ob Saturday cinders got to go to the ball again :). Outfit was a “Gothic Lolita” styled outfit, a curious Japanese style that combines Gothic imagery (lots of black, crucifixes etc) with more girlish elements (white lace, ribbons etc) with a bit of Victoriana and punk thrown in. It’s not my usual sort of think, both goth and the whole sissy lacy little girl thing isn’t really me, but I thought it looked cute, was different and still had a bit an edge. I reused the lacy blouse I wore last time, adding to it a waist coat, a sort of tie thing and a lacy skirt. All came from a little place in Camden Stables Market, all Gothic Lolita&Punk brand. Had to go for the large size though, these outfits are definitely designed for petite Asian girls.

Problem was the footwear, usual for this look is a sort of platform Mary Jane, worn with socks, but I couldn’t find any in my size, not even regular Mary Jane’s. Tried Goth boots, but no one seemed to stock the feminine ones in my size (they do seem to be available on the web though, but I hate buying shoes without trying them on, plus getting stuff delivered is such a pain when you are single and are out at work during the week). Did buy a pair of more unisex Goth ones with a slight heel, but then when I tried them on at home with the outfit they where just far to clumpy, save them for another outfit. Ended up just using a pair of kitten heels I already had, the little buckle on them seemed to suit, with socks, initial plan was for stockings, but it didn’t seem to work. Plain socks wouldn’t do though, so I customised some, take one pair of black knee socks, cut the lacy top of a pair of white stay ups and sew onto the top of the socks, sew on a white ribbon around the top and then finish a white bow on the side. I was quite proud of them really, the first bit of clothing I’ve “made” myself.

Used the Novatel in Greenwich again, the cheaper Ibis was fully booked I suppose it might be possible to get a taxi all the way home, but I didn’t want to risk it, so the local hotel seemed a safer option. Packed on Saturday morning, how does one night as Helena fill a case that can hold Ian’s needs for a week?  Well I suppose the 2 cameras (and the tripod!) take up space, plus there’s the bucket load of makeup required, also went for the D cups forms for fun

Bus, Bus and train and I’m actually get to the hotel a bit early, but they are fine with me checking in before the appointed time. Don’t have to get changed immediately so go for a wander around the local Markets (Greenwich and Deptford) first, but just get some food and snacks (Wasabi peas FTW) and a cheeky bottle of wine.

Bathe, shave, dress and makeup, and well I’m ready to early, so open the wine and watch TV. And take a few pictures Had a new lens on the SLR I wanted to try. Had to trawl around eight camera shops before I found that lens, a 24mm f1.8 Sigma wide angle prime lens with macro capability. Basically I wanted a lens that can take full length portraits in limited space and light. Taking pics with a tripod and remote is more fun and allows for more interesting setups, but I was disappointed with the results this time, especially on the shots I took against the window. The focus is off, I think the auto focus was picking up on a chair in the room instead of me this is the problem when you are using the remote not the view finder. Plus I think I was using too wide an aperture and getting to much depth of field affect. All part of the learning curve I guess, one day I’ll take a good picture. Anyway, here are the pics that could be rescued.

The last one was actually taken with the compact, as a backup, it has an odd yellowy tint that if I tried to remove seemed to kill the picture, so I left it in. I left the SLR in the Hotel and took the compact to the event instead, the Nikon is just to big to go in the handbag and I didn’t want to try dancing around with a huge camera bag. Hotel orders me a taxi and I’m there by 8:45. Taxi driver seemed to think the Rivoli was a singles club for some reason?

It was definitely busier than before, some good word of mouth must of got out after the last one. Get a glass of wine, still cheap at £2 (but the entrance fee had gone up) and find a few Roses (Lulu, Anthea and others) to sit with. Dance floor is a bit empty as the band plays the first set, but a few are stepping up to dance. Another glass or two of wine where required before I joined them. Then band where the same one as last time, but they had gone from the Roadhouse 4 to the Roadhouse 5, they had gained a Sax player. I approve of bands with a horns section. After the band, a DJ, better one this time, a few more tunes you could dance to. Alternated having a dance, having a drink and pointing my camera at anyone who would let me. Actually my silly outfit helped with this a bit, I think, it disarmed a few people, but not all the time, not everyone wanted their picture taken. Also a good tactic was to sit at table in the bar with a drink and pounce on people as they queued up for service.

Framing is a bit off, kept cutting off people’s feet, must of been the wine. Had dialled the flash down a bit to try and prevent over blowing the highlights, but it didn’t always word and a few pictures didn’t come out. Again it’s that photography learning curve thing, still got a long way to go. I like to think I get a good shot every now and then, but that’s more by accident by design, a proper photographer is one (IMHO) who can get the shot they want 99% of the time, by skill and knowledge, not luck. Didn’t get around to getting a picture of me at the event though, but a couple of other peoples cameras where pointed in my general direction during the night, so a pic of me might surface at some point.

A few people tried to chat with me, but, especially with people I don’t know, I went over all deer in headlights as usual and couldn’t really hold a conversation, sorry all I keep complaining about being lonely, but people actually do try to talk to me and it’s me who fails to connect A few people also said some nice things about the outfit, Thank you all (no one noticed the socks though)

Bit more entertainment this time, 2 singers and a drag queen all put in rather good turns and the band played a 2nd set. By then everyone was warmed up and then the dance floor was getting full. But the bands 2nd set was rather short, then the DJ came on again for a bit, but then, boom, lights up at 1am. All went too quick, I thought it was going on till 2, oh well. I heard a rumour that the gentleman who owns and lives at the Rivoli isn’t well, so doesn’t like events running too late as he needs his sleep. Well I suppose it was good thing ending early, my feet where killing me by then anyway, those shoes where slightly too small. Getting good footwear is so difficult when you are a size 9 and a half wide.

Change into pain black jeans, coat, hat and a pair of slouchy boots for the trip home to try and attract less attention if I have to walk or take the bus. But as I walked out, I overheard someone saying they where going to the cab office on the other side of the road, so I followed them, and there it was, a minicab office less than 50m from the Ballroom, why didn’t I find that last time? 5 minutes later and I’m in cab going back to Greenwich. Central Greenwich, not the hotel direct, had to get my chips and that’s a proper end to a fine evening.

Popped out in the morning before checkout to get a paper, some breakfast and point my SLR and some things. Oh wow they still have a Wimpy in Greenwich, haven’t been to one for years. When I was about 10 going to the Wimpy was the best treat ever (for any young people out there, this was several years before McDonald’s came to the UK) So it a Wimpy jumbo breakfast with tea and toast it was After I remembered to close the aperture a few stops (I think that’s the technical term for it), managed to get a few OKish pics of the local brickwork.

Checkout, train and bus home. See you all at Act III

Well back from holiday now, in one piece physically, a few nicks and bruises and my knees feels a bit stiff, but nothing that won’t heal, mind still seems to be detached though, its still floating around the mountains.

Holiday was good overall, 3 hour delay at Gatwick on the flight out didn’t set it up well though. I find delays like that a bit sole destroying, just hanging around, wasting precious time. Have to fight the urge to eat and drink too much in the terminal. But we get to Austria eventually and the hotel is still serving dinner and they produce a rather good steak. First day, turn up for snowboard school a bit early and put some shaky runs down the rather solid bunny hill to warm up. I’m the only “intermediate” (their term for someone who can link a couple of turns together) who turns up (Don’t envy the beginners on that bullet proof learner piste, hope they all had impact shorts), so instead of 3 half days of group lessons I’d paid for (I thought it was full days when I booked, oh well) the school offers me a full day (4 or so hours really) of private lessons. I take it and board instructor dude Miles leads me up the mountain. Gentle warm up on the foggy blue run and he falls, not me (blames his knackered board ;)) but then he turns it up a notch and gets me to do stuff I wouldn’t of attempted on my own, cat tracks, red runs, black runs and even off piste! Yikes. All went surprisingly well, even a bumpy black run (OK it was an easy black, instructor reckoned it should be rebranded a red), apart from the off piste in deep pow, not so good. Trying to turn seemed impossible, I just ended up face planting and getting a powder bath.

It appears my technique isn’t too bad, but I really need to bend the knees more and loosen up, ridding stiff is possible on smooth and shallow runs, but on the steep and bumpy, Bend ze Knee’s is mandatory if you don’t want to end up on your arse. Spend most of the rest of the week trying to get those knees bendier and improve my technique on the reds.

Without that lesson I would of probably spent most of the week on the blue runs, so it was well worth it. Didn’t try off piste again, but did try to get some piste edge powder when I could find it for practice. Also tried the mini half pipe, quite fun, no air though, fell on the first turn but after that go used to it a bit. I think I progressed a bit during the week, better technique and less fear, once totally scary gradients don’t seem that scary after all, but I’m still a fairly nervous rider, speed, especially on narrow ski ways with sheer drop offs down the side still scares me. But then I seem to need to scare myself and push myself, if I don’t I’m afraid I’ll just turn into a zombie spaced out in front of the telly. In away it’s a bit like going out dressed, its not entirely logical or safe, or “normal” and I don’t always enjoy it, but I seem to need to do it and it gives me a great sense of achievement afterwards, it just feels like living. adrenaline junkie? Well if you can be a timid adrenaline junkie perhaps. Another reason to add to the long list of why?

Only real disadvantage of the lack of group lessons, was social, for most of the rest of the week I was riding on my own, a group can hook you up with people to maybe ride and have a drink with. Yeah, bit lonely, did chat to a couple of people on lifts etc, but that was about it Ian’s social skills are even worse then Helena’s. Didn’t really worry when I’m ridding as my attention is solely focused on that, but in the evenings, well, I’m glad I brought a few books along.

But that’s perhaps one reason I took up snowboarding, you can do it alone, and ridding can completely absorb you, take your mind of everything else, work, social life, even transgender. Not that riding on the mountain was “male” it wasn’t (there where plenty of female skiers and boarders anyway) it was sort of gender neutral, the snow doesn’t care either way, clothing is fairly unisex waterproofs anyway Only in the evenings wandering around town, I would look across to a shop window and think, that jacket (saw this gorgeous red leather one, but at €299, bit much) or those boots are nice, and the feminine feelings would resurface. Note: Helena didn’t go to Austria, I have enough problem getting the snowboard kit and Ian’s clothes for a week under the airline baggage weight limit (and carrying it), never mind a packing a female wardrobe (and the necessary 2 tonnes of makeup) as well.

As I said earlier a few nicks and bruises where incurred, I did fall, several times a day in fact, but that was only cause I was trying hard the Robocop kit (Helmet, back protector, wrist guards, knee pads, elbow pads, impact shorts) took most of the sting out of it, and in one case probably saved me from a ski patrol snowmobile ride down the mountain to the hospital. Just going down an easy gentle blue early one morning I got a very sudden heal side edge catch. This is when you are riding the toe side of the board but let the other side drops to much and it catches in the snow. When this happens, the board stops dead and your momentum, then gravity pivots you down, slamming you hard on your back down the hill. I hit hard, smacking my head on the rock hard morning piste, OWWWW! Actually that’s not what I said, my language was rather more “vulgar” and very loud, half the mountain must of heard my expletives. But the fact I was able to make those expletives instead of being out cold or worse was down to my crash helmet. Always wear a helmet when ridding. Did get a bump on my head later though, in the ski storage room in the hotel, I had took my helmet off and was putting my board away when I bashed it on the ski rack, Doh!

Other possible area of damage was the waist line, oops. Well when in Austria you have to eat the schnitzel, oh and the strudel and then there’s the hot chocolate with rum and whipped cream and and … Plus the buffet breakfast and 4 course evening meal in the hotel didn’t help. Add to that all wine, beer, schnapps and Jagermeister and oh dear. OK boarding can burn off a lot of calories, but not that much It appears to affect the Austrians too, didn’t spot many thin Austrians over the age of thirty.

The resort town, Zell am See was a pretty little traditional Austrian alpine town (well the centre was anyway) with many cute chocolate boxy buildings by a large scenic lake (frozen over) surrounded by mountains. Quite picturesque, romantic even? well it would probably be more so with the right company. Bit on the quiet side though for night life and apres, there where quite a few places, but these seemed a bit dead, perhaps they warmed up later (me lightweight) or perhaps its still cause its early in the season.

The main mountain, the Schmittenhohe was pretty also, it only goes up to 2000m, so only the very top was about the tree line, quite a few nice runs, but about a third of the marked pistes where narrow tracks that don’t really work for me. Weather was variable, a few sunny days, some coldly windy ones and on Thursday it snowed, giving some fresh powder, which was lovely until about lunch time when it got tracked out. Some of the runs could be quite busy, and by the end of the day moguled to hell by groups of skiers all taking the same lines, but there where a few runs on the less popular side of the mountain you have virtually to yourself. Spent one day on the next mountain, the Kitzsteinhorn, near the town of Kaprun. This was much higher, there’s a station at 3029 metres and it has a glacier that has snow all year round. But it was a cold cloudy day, the glacier pistes where like rock and a bit dull and it was all a bit bleak compared to the Schmittenhohe.

Skiers, sigh, OK they are not all are bad, but there was a significant number of who where out of control, bash into your board in lift queues, wave their poles around, appeared to have total tunnel vision, try to race on blue runs, stop in front of you and/or just stand around in large groups in awkward places. One did manage to run into the back of me, fortunately I managed to ride it though and stay up right, he wasn’t so lucky. OK there are idiot boarders too, but since there is 5x as many skiers than boarders, there are 5x as many idiot skiers as there are idiot borders.

It all went too fast and even though it was a bit on the lonely side and I was rather tired, it was depressing to leave. Spent the last day buying some local sweets for my co workers (office tradition), they where all Mozart branded, in fact Mozart seemed to be used on a lot of goods around the region, if you didn’t know Wolfgang was from Salzburg (the region of Austria Zell am See is in) when you arrived you would when you left, even Falco’s “Rock me Amadeus” seemed to be the unofficial national anthem, heard it a least once a day (Actually the music played locally seemed to be mostly 80’s pop, a lot British, which is odd)

After shopping on that final day I took the cable car up to the top of the mountain for one last time and to take some better photo’s (sans board). You know me, goes mad with a camera, but the SLR was to big to take, so just had the compact and 2 disposable film cameras. I took the disposables ’cause I was scared of breaking the compact when I was boarding (need to get a small water/shock proof digital compact for boarding me thinks) . Took over 300 photo’s in all, which was whittled down to 80 odd keepers, but I’ll only bore you with 10 of them …

After that its taxi, bus, airport, airplane, airport, train, tube, walk and finally get home at about quarter to eight. Flop. Want to go back to the mountains, WAAHHHHHH!

Sunday, too spaced out to do much, went food shopping and fiddled about with pictures and well not much really. Had Monday as an extra day off work too, and well, since I didn’t spend all my holiday money, guess who wanted to go shopping with what left Hadn’t dressed for a few weeks, that’s the longest break from her for a while, but I wasn’t totally sure I wanted to, head still be at 2000m and all, but after a long lazy bath and defuzz, putting on a rather casual outfit and one of my better makeup jobs, it felt OK, OK enough to go out.

Of course I took pictures

Last one is just a little photomanip mixing in the holiday snaps. Those are white jeans, not leggings, but they where very very tight. I swear they weren’t this tight last time I wore them, Oh dear it’s all that Austrian food they “forced” me to eat. Diet is back on. Also could only find one boot of the pair I wanted to wear, where did the other one go? I swear my flat eats things. Had to wear a different pair.

Out by about lunch time and tube it to Marble Arch. Not up for anything big, just a shopping trip to Oxford street, definitely the CD equivalent of a blue run. Two coats in Primark (one can never have enough coats and jackets in the UK weather), one black and casual, one red with brass edged buttons that looks a bit Sergeant Pepper. Both 12’s and they fit, even lengthwise, Primark’s clothes actually seem fit me better than a lot of more expensive stuff, they must have some very tall fit models (not fit as in attractive, the standard sized people they use to check the fit of the clothes). Add a few pairs of tights, a couple of bras, and another belt. Get twee little bag for next weekend in New Look, a pair magic pants in M&S, moisturisers (the wrinkle filling sort sigh) in Superdrug, another coat in little independent (on sales for £6 so I thought, why not) and sushi lunch at Yo in Selfridges.

Cavendish Square Gardens behind John Lewis is quiet and the camera comes out again.

Sorry for all these pictures, but I do like them as mementos of my trips out. Sort of like holiday snaps really.

Not much more to say, trip was pretty uneventful, a few odd looks, maybe a muttering, but no out loud comments (in a language I could understand anyway), shop staff where fine to. Checkout girl in Newlook was chatty, Yo in Selfridges where very attentive and the woman in Plaza centre Evans was great :- “Very sorry Madam but we don’t currently have those boots in the black in a 9, I could phone the Marble Arch branch and see if they have, if you like” Quick stop at Forbidden Planet for some DVD’s and the Supermarket for a bottle of wine, and jump on the bus home before the rain comes down. Actually it all felt very natural, normal, easy? More green than blue. Legs where struggling a bit towards the end though even in very low heels.

Still a bit spaced out, want to be in the mountains, will have to see if the finances and holidays days can hold up to another trip this year. And if I can’t do the mountains, shopping will do, anywhere instead of work

Still there’s always next weekend, and next week it’s that ball again

Usual story, got up, dressed when out and bought footwear. But as Bob, sorry, not very interesting. Bob’s only gets 1 pair of shoes and 1 pair of boots and he wears them to destruction, which has just happened, both pairs now leak, so get wet feet in the rain So this weekend those shoes and boots had to be replaced.

As I said, not very interesting that. Helena of course has far far more pairs shoes, boots, accessories and clothes than Bob, which is slightly unfair given the amount of actually time spent in girl mode, but, Bob dresses very practically and plainly anyway (he prefers it that way), but he compensates by having more expensive, higher quality stuff, as it has to last.

Sick of Bob, so a new year’s resolution, it’s not Bob anymore, let’s call him “Ian”, because, well, that’s what his mum calls him (and its easy to spell). Anyone with a bit of net savvy and could be bothered could of worked that one out anyway
As well as footwear, the snowboarding holiday in Austria is next week, so had to do loads of laundry, had to clean and sort stuff out and had to get a few extra bits of kit, including a new helmet that doesn’t make my head look like a bowling ball (a RED Trace in Matt black that looks like it came straight from a SWAT unit ). So much to do and a lot of those things weren’t really stuff Helena can or wants to do, so no girl time at all this weekend Plus my skin was playing up anyway. In fact she won’t be out play for another couple of weeks, yikes, can I cope? Though snowboarding has a wonderful way of concentrating the mind on the task in hand (as I’m basically trying not to die) so I’ll manage most of the holiday, but she’ll be bouncing around my skull this week and the week after I get back from Austria. After that it’s the Magic Theatre at the Rivoli Ballroom, hotel is booked and the outfit has mostly been sorted, so it does look like Helena will be in attendance, please say Hi if you see me. That’s of course if I make it off the mountain in one piece…

That was a bit dull, so er what else, well Saturday the 5th was the 1st anniversary of my first photo on Flickr. Since my stream, that moment to my total vanity, has been good to me, I got it a cake.

Well a chocolate muffin anyway, popped a candle on it and decorated it with Smarties. The stream wasn’t feeling hungry though, so I ate it Got the stats too, nearly 590 odd pictures, nearly 200k views, nearly 600 people have put me on their contact lists, 22 people on my contact list, 3 on my block list, and a lot of other nearlys.

That’s quite respectable if you ask me, but it’s not a competition is it.

A few things about Flickr and those stats have come to mind though…

I do seem to get quite a lot of views, more than some, less than others, but still quite a lot, I think. What worries me is while I wander around the photo’s I see many many fine non TG pictures, that are of superb quality and they often have many comments and favourites, but have comparatively few views? I even see pictures of very attractive GG’s that don’t get seen as much? Have the trannies and tranny fanciers taken over Flickr? Bit sad really. I see the same in my pictures, the non TG pics are lucky to break double figure views, yet there are over 75 tranny ones with over 1000 views each. Some of those non TG pics of architecture and animals are some, IMHO, of the best photo’s I’ve ever taken. I guess there’s no accounting for taste.

My comments to views ratio is quite low though, but this is really because I’m unsociable and rarely comment on others people’s pics, people tend to comment on their friends pictures far more often or in return for comments on there’s. Flickr is really a sort of social networking site I suppose. One of these days I’ll set up an antisocial networking sites, with totally private profiles no one else can read and enemies lists and lots of miserable stuff like that:)

Though someone very kindly bought me a 2 year Pro account early in 2007, it now says I have a pro for life as long as I keep my BT Yahoo account. I assume this is to do with Yahoo now owning Flickr and BT (my broadband supplier) using Yahoo to provide services.

My contacts/who calls me a contact lists are “slightly” asymmetric, but to be honest don’t really want to stare at tranny pics (you lot are all prettier than me anyway and I get depressed) or worse, peoples bits all day. Actually I think having to many contacts would be difficult to manage anyway, simply too many pictures to look at, but others seem to go all Pokemon and collect as many as possible though. The people who I’ve added tend to be people I’ve met or corresponded with or people who write stuff I like . There are a few Tgirl’s pics I do look at though, be these tend to be ones like Katie Marsh or and Erika Baarova whose photo’s (IMHO) seem to be on a higher level, art in fact, regardless of gender or gender presentation.

The first time someone I assumed to be of the admirer variety (no pics of their own, suggestive name, member of 1001 tranny groups etc) marked me as a contact I freaked and blocked him, but I’ve mellowed over time and no longer block. If I make my pictures public, then I shouldn’t be upset when the public views them and if people get anything “you know” out of them, well that’s there business. When people add me I do look at their profile and pictures, but that Kittens button has come in useful many times. I’ve seen a lot of kittens in the last year. Same thing with messages, from time to time people send “suggestive” messages and/or want a “date”, I’m not interested and don’t think I’ve said or done anything to indicate I am (well posing in my underwear could be construed I suppose), but now I just read these once and put them aside, there’s no need to block or send a put down, it doesn’t really hurt, it’s flattering in a way and when ignored, they don’t seem to chase, must be used to it. I do reply to the more general, non suggestive, supportive messages most of the time.

The stats are interesting, though I didn’t really need them to figure out the more leg I show, the more views the picture gets. What can be interesting is the referrals. Do non technical people realise that if they click on a link on a web page, the URL of the page that held it is sent to the new page and recorded in the web server’s log, and in Flickr’s case, pro users now get a daily summary of those referrals? Anyway back to plot, this blog and the stream appear to work quite well with each other (Gawd I nearly said “have synergy”, slap me) and each is the other’s biggest referrer (I’ve full stats on this blog to). Other fun things include “Bus” being the most common search phrase used to find my pictures on Yahoo image search (cause I have a face like the back end of one ). One other thing that’s come up recently is that a certain picture (Wildcat of St Trinians from last week) got linked on a forum dedicated to knee socks and that’s generated several 100 hits. Well there’s a forum for everything on the Internet I guess. But drilling though to the forum I see a someone who isn’t very observant (must of just been looking at the socks) got a little confused and didn’t realise I was TG poor guy, OK I don’t put up a neon sigh saying “BLOKE” on my pics, but I do tag my pictures with “Tranny” and “Tgirl” and indicate my gender as “Other” in the profile, so it can’t be too hard realise what’s what, plus I look like a bloke in a skirt anyway, I’m not deliberately trying to trick people. But I’ve noticed over the years (not just for TG pics) some people often just react very quickly to pictures on the net (not just mine), rarely reading accompanying text or explanations. Oh and BTW knee sock fanciers, those particular ones with the little ribbon came from Primark, I think they cost about 2 quid.

I can’t see this stream going away in the near future, so more TG pictures will be forth coming (as well as the other stuff) in the future of course, but prefer to try and stick with some clumsy attempts at humour, “fashion”, more grumpy reality and little fantasy thrown in every now and them. Real meaning, depth, eroticism or art are a bit out of reach though.

Plus now I’ve got of a bit of a personal policy for my pics on Flickr :-
  All pictures public
  No group spamming
  No mass cross group posting
  No accepting of requests to add my pictures to private groups
  No joining of private groups
  No blocking of people unless they are rude or aggressive
  Tag tranny pics as
  And definitely NO dangly bits!

Putting Flickr aside, for now I’ve

Gone Boarding

Back Later

The stream and the blog will now be quiet for a couple of weeks, but should be back (unless I fall off a mountain) with a bang after that. With some really fancy socks too

Well I’d still got a chunk of the Xmas bonus left and decided to blow a chunk on a new camera. I’ve never been satisfied with the result of the photo’s from my compacts, even the high end canon G9. It’s fine in good light, and I like to think I’ve even done some good night time shots, but its the indoor shots that disappoint. It’s the noise and lack of detail, the little lens and the small sensor packed with 12 mega pixels means noise in bad light. Perhaps other people don’t see that when they just look at those medium sized pictures on Flickr (or perhaps there just perving on them and don’t care about the photographic quality), it annoys me. Alot. Also the only way I have to take pics of myself (since I’m a vain and vapid tranny this is rather a lot) its either do the arm out stretched bit, but this just results in a shakeyface shot or place it somewhere, set the timer and run to pose. Neither is very satisfactory, what I needed was remote control. What I really needed was an huge great digital SLR, with a big sensor and big lenses, remote control, the works, but which one?

Well after a large amount of time spent pouring over camera web sites and mags, I decided on a Nikon D80. That was chosen for several good reasons and a few not so good ones Good reasons, it uses SD cards (most SLRS use compact flash) my PC is a bit dodgy when it comes to USB devices, but I do have a method of getting images from SD cards and didn’t want to risk something that might not work. Next reason is although its a “prosumer” camera with full manual controls of everything, it’s still got a few automatic modes for a Muppet like to fall back on me while I’m still learning. There’s a tiny little remote control you can get for it too. Plus it gets great reviews and is generally well respected. Not so good reasons for choosing it, is well Everybody has a Canon EOS 400D so I just like to be different, it’s a step up from the entry level SLRS (but still in my price range) so I can be a bit of a camera snob and it just looks so damm cool, with a big lens on it somehow reminds me of those tanks out of Tron, all asymmetric and all. Looks are important you know, if it looks right then it probably is

So I placed an order for one, body, an 18-55mm lens with image stabilization for general use (you have to buy more expensive lenses to get stabilisation this on the Nikon SLRS) a cheap fast 50mm prime lens (for portrait work in bad light, like my kitchen), 2gb SD card and a remote. Next day delivery and it’s in my grubby mitts by 11am on Friday 28th Dash out to the shop (Jacobs) to get a cheepo tripod and a few other bits to compliment it.

Spec wise, it’s 10 mega pixel, 3x zoom with my biggest lens, no built in image stabilisation, only a few modes and automated functions, plastic body,(the G9 is built like a tank, dropped it a metre onto concrete at Xmas, oops, but apart from a couple of scratches, no damage), large sized, lacks voice notes and video modes, has a smallish LCD, no live view, week built in flash, etc etc. The G9 compact actually has a higher spec than the D80 DLSR. But then I did a test shot in my kitchen, just the flash and the 60w bulb illuminating. In these conditions the G9 demands higher ISO and gives a very noisy picture, the D80 shoots ISO 100 with virtually no noise, more details and I can trigger it with the remote while posed and just snap away. Try it outside at night too, not bad either. Result, money well spent.

Bad news, that cheap fast Nikon 50mm prime lens that gets rave reviews isn’t wide angle enough to take a full body shot of me in my Kitchen Bugger, I thought there was enough room but I got my sums wrong. Have to use the slower (i.e. smaller aperture) zoom lens instead. I’ll try to get a fast 24mm lens next payday, might get a flash gun as well. Good news, the memory card came with a free copy of “Capture One RAW image processing utility (didn’t know this when I ordered) . The camera only came with a 30 day trial of Nikon’s version of this and that’s got a reputation of being very slow. The Capture one works perfectly with the Nikon RAW files, writes Tiff files Photo paint understands and is fast, so a win there.

Saturday 30th and it’s back to normal, well for me anyway, so guess what, Helena time, got dressed in black and grey (OK, a little splash of colour here and there) and went out shopping in Camden Broke a plastic bangle trying to put it on, I have to cut them so they can stretch to get over my fat hands but even they it’s a bit tight, and this one I pushed one a bit to far. This wasn’t the only thing I would break that day. Took some pics before I went out.

First set of girl pics taken with the new camera. I can see an improvement in the detail and noise and it’s far more fun to just pose and thumb the remote, instead of having to keep running back to the camera and reset the timer each shot. Feeling clumsy (and not having enough room in my bag) I left the D80 at home and took the G9 with me instead (never go out without a Tranny cam :))

well two! more coats, some awesomely cute bits and pieces to (hopefully) wear at the Rivoli ballroom (I really am going in a Gothic Lolita outfit) and I’m done.

Slight shopping failure, wanted a garter to go with the Gothic outfit, but couldn’t find a black and white one (the basic colour scheme) for the life or me. Camden was it’s usual self, even a weirdo like me fits in nicely, was hiding under a big coat and hat though. Was also carrying one of my fake Chanel bags and it broke, a little metal ring that holds one of the strap pulled out from the material, bugger, 2nd thing broken, serves me right for buying naff knock bags.

Lamb Tagine for lunch and it’s off to the pictures to see the new St Trinians remake. Rather liked it overall, not a classic, but a pleasant diversion with a few good laughs and worthy of the originals. Gemma Arterton as Kelly the Head Girl, swoon, I think I’m in love Rupert Everett as Miss Fritton, hrmm, IMHO It’s as if they wanted to make the character a tranny with the heavy, too pale and flat foundation, that plus beard shadow and badly positioned boobs, it all shouted tranny to me, with a professional makeup crew at hand, I reckon they could of done better if they wanted to. Interesting listen to the reactions of the audience to the obvious cross dressed character, lots of Ewww type remarks from the kids when Rupert Everett and Colin Firth got close and general titters at him. As it was so dark, I don’t think many people noticed me in there, some parents even plonked their kids virtually next to me, but after it finished, I got out fairly sharpish.

As usual, end the day with a trip to the supermarket. Food, bread, milk, wine, what nex… SMASH!!!!! I’d put my days shopping in the basket (used a basket as I didn’t have any change for the trolley lock) and food on top of that, but the bottle of Merlot and baguette I’d just put there rolled off, onto the floor. Big mess, wine and glass everywhere 3rd breakage of the day, they come in three’s don’t they? Girl standing a couple of metres glares at me, I ask if she’s OK she mumbles she is and turns and leaves. The whole look on her face said “Get away from me freak!” Start to hear a few mutterings nearby “Transvestite” etc, SEP field is broken now as well, I’ve attracted to much attention to myself. A couple of Salisbury’s staff arrive, look at the mess, shrug their shoulders at me, place a wet floor sign next to it and call for a cleaner, all very nonchalantly as if trannies dropping wine bottles on the floor is an everyday occurrence (But this is Camden, so it probably is ;)) Another girl standing near kindly suggests I get another loaf of bread as mine might of gotten glass in it, thanked her and duly did, plus a replacement bottle of wine (well I had to calm my nerves now) and pay up, checkout girl smiles and calls me Madam. So it’s thumbs down to this clumsy oaf tranny and thumbs up to Camden Sainsbury’s for being so nice. Train home with my shopping, opened wine safely this time.

Next couple of days, not a lot to report, yeah even New years Eve. NYE, the saddo stayed in, alone, watched Jools Holland, had a couple of beers and played Call of Duty 4. COD4 actually rather good, very polished with high production values, game play is fun and involving, Graphics have a high level of detail, good lighting and particle effects too and even when there’s a crazy amount of things going on it still manages a good frame rate on my elderly PC. Gameplay is fun, the single player is very cinematic, more “Hollywood reality” instead of a sim, also mostly all linear and scripted instead of being open, dynamic and intelligent, but it’s well scripted. Some times it gets a little silly though, as you mow down waves on faceless enemy goons who can’t shoot straight. Single player campaign is a bit short though, so after that it’s on to the multiplayer. That’s good to, in fact it’s got me excited about playing FPS’s online again, so watch out for an SMG wielding CQB loon called Seburo online

So I get up on New years day without a hangover (can’t be many who can claim that ) and what to do, well pretty much everything is going to be shut and its a cold miserable day anyway, so stay in again, but well I’ve got all this time, a new camera, and lots of clothes, so photo shoot time again Rig up a background to cover my messy kitchen with a bed frame and sheet as before, but extend it vertically with some plastic bits, a broom handle and some Duck tape, as last time I tried this, the frame wasn’t high enough on its own. Since I’ve started reading photo mags and stuff, I see that you can buy proper collapsible frames and background sheets in all sorts of colours including chroma key, hrmmm maybe one day. Also after reading a magazine article I put a little bit of translucent plastic over the flash to try and defuse it a bit. Again, those mags are full of proper lighting equipment, again, maybe one day, but am I taking it all to seriously for what is just a bunch of tranny shots?

Anyway first outfit, St Trinians inspired schoolgirl outfit just for fun. Top is one of those ones where the collar and cuffs are actually attached to the sweater, there’s no blouse underneath, works if you ask me.

Next bunch, phew, lot of defuzzing required for this and a bit of body makeup. The Bottle of fizz I couldn’t be bothered to open the night before came in useful to.

This is the 2nd time I’ve tried underwear shots, Not bad, those stockings (first time I’d worn that pair) weren’t long enough though. What was different this time, is that it felt less embarrassing, I actually rather enjoyed it and in a way it even felt a bit sexy. Gawd, autogynophilia! Can’t finds a girlfriend, so make your own I’ve always maintained Helena exists for multiple reasons and this might be one of them, very sad really

Last lot of pics (light was going, dam these short days) Change into some different underwear and lie on the bed.

Again it felt pretty good, too good in a way…

I was shooting in a mode that saves both a RAW and JPG image, and even after deleting some pictures along the way, I did get a bit carried away with the ease it took to just snap with the remote and filled up the 2gb memory card with over 200 pictures! The remote makes it easier, but its not 100%, it’s infrared, so it really has to be pointed at the camera, but sometimes you can get away with a bounce off a wall. Expect to see that little remote in a lot of my pics in future.

I left the card downloading and changed back into normal clothes, a basic black cowl neck (easy to get on over a fully made up face), the first pair of girly jeans I could find and my favourite boots.

Pic was with the Canon, gawd, look at all that noise. As the download from the card would take over half an hour, I popped to the shop to get some milk. And that felt good too, but in a different way, confidence was high and even though it was cold and raining, I strutted to the nearest open shop with a bit of a smile on my face. Doing the normal stuff, in normal clothes felt good too, felt right, felt normal, felt like me, so perhaps it isn’t all just a fetish?

Perhaps this photo shoot stuff does have a purpose beyond the personal vanity, attention seeking and that A word, it really does help with the confidence, if you see a picture of you you think looks good, it gives you (well me I can’t really speak for the rest of you) a bit of a lift, and this confidence helps you (me) get out and walk down the street in a skirt with your head held high.

BTW
Happy New Year one and all I hope 2008 is going to be good for everyone.
Love
  Helena